People Imagine What God Was Thinking When He Created Specific Things And It’s Hilarious

If you've read any Bible teachings, you'll know that Old Testament God is a major asshole. Petty, vain, vindictive, and genocidally violent, he gleefully wrought havoc on his creations before his son eventually showed up with more merciful corrections of God's plans.

So what was up with his creation story in those days, when he was busy making the complex wonders of the world that he would go on to torture sadistically? This collection of tongue-in-cheek religious jokes, collected by us here at Bored Panda, hilariously imagines God's creation strategies as he came up with the animals, the sun, the planets and yes, even those little hell-raisers that he created in his own, twisted image: us. Scroll down below to check the best tweets we've found out for yourself, and don't forget to vote for your 'God creating animals' favorites! (Facebook cover image: Charlie Day)

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Funny-God-Creating-Things-Tweets

Final score:

391points

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#49

Funny-God-Creating-Things-Tweets

Final score:

17points

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I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

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What do you think ?

POST

Bored Phoenix 5 years ago

Oh MY GOD!!!!!! More please!

22points

Jo Choto 5 years ago

The case for evolution grows ever stronger. LOL.

8points

Alusair Alustriel 5 years ago

Great one :D And laso makes you think how many different animals are there and how each is special ^^

7points

Lispel- Lotte 5 years ago

That remembers me to "wtf, evolution?" on tumblr, but instead of god it's the evolution who creates weird animals. (Search for it, it's really funny!)

5points

Elizabeth 5 years ago

This was a very good laugh!

4points

Dani 5 years ago

These were AMAZING! BP publishes some cool stuff but this is some of the best they’ve done in a while! ENCORE!!

3points

Freya the Wanderer 5 years ago

The more you read the Bible, especially the Old Testament, the more you realize Yahweh/Adonai/Jehovah is a d*ck. Think of all the innocent animals - including lambs, cubs, calves, foals, kittens, puppies, chicks, etc. - as well as children and pregnant women who died in Noah's flood. Then there are the animal sacrifices described in Leviticus. Anybody who tried that stuff would never hear the end of it from PETA! And so on, and so on, and so on.

3points

Nosfentor 5 years ago

Not to mention the fact that the bible condones slavery.

9points

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The Phantom of the Opera 5 years ago (edited)

This is why I'm an atheist. (Not meaning any disrespect whatsoever, I'm not saying that anyone's religion is bad, you do you)

4points

Full Name 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Stille20 5 years ago

This made my morning

2points

Zoila Flores Pena 3 years ago

I say oh my Jesus all the time. Imao

1point

HoffLensMetalHedLovesAnimalsUK 5 years ago (edited)

I laughed a lot at this.

1point

G13 5 years ago

This is hilarious

1point

Mariana Pinto 5 years ago

Can't remember the last time I laughed so hard!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you :D

1point

gibsonpic 5 years ago

These are fantastic!! I chuckled at them all!

1point

thepotatogirl 5 years ago

These are my favorite thing the internet has made

1point

Nosfentor 5 years ago

Hilarious! Great reasons to realize that religion is b******t.

1point

Meowton Mewsk 5 years ago (edited)

Ohhh okay. Makes sense. And now, like a melting snowflake, they are following you around openly weeping. Lol. Conservatives have zero self awareness.

1point

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Kimberly 5 years ago

I saw Chuck (Rob Benedict) saying all this as I read it. I've been watching too much Supernatural lol

1point

Tyler Duffy 5 years ago

Lol I spit my coffee all over the sofa reading this. Thanks BP. You've been slipping but this makes up for it.

1point

Faulinei Shadowlord 5 years ago

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Smita Samel 3 years ago

oh my mee

0points

Lorelai Purvis 3 years ago

more more more

0points

Enola Brinkley-Crayton 5 years ago

You can joke about satan all you want but when you tread on God's creative hand tread lightly my friend tread lightly.

0points

Chris Keightley 5 years ago

Best!

0points

Obodo Linda 5 years ago

My God is not the same god you speak of. the one I know is full of kindness to me. never forget that.

0points

Chris Watson 5 years ago

Can't get past the comment referring to God as an a*****e . Not funny or cute. Or witty. Incredibly beyond disrespectful.

0points

Anna Salerno 5 years ago

Laugh if you must but, I sure wouldn't MOCK God!

0points

Patrick Foss 5 years ago

God: The sea floor is a mess with all the dead carcasses. Angel: Lets make giant water bugs that eat the dead stuff. *later* Angel: Um the humans are eating the clean up bugs. God: Well if they like them so much make a land version only smaller of and just for Sh*ts and giggles add big stinger on its butt! Angel: LOL I like it!

0points

Evan Creem 5 years ago

For the Ocean one: This only works if the assumption is that humans are the most important creatures, we are far from it. Billions of species call the ocean home and would die if not for it's salinity. We are not important and there would be plenty of water for our needs if not for greed, selfishness, and total disregard for the gift of the Earth. If anything, the Earth would be so much better without us.

0points

Sue Hoyuela 4 years ago

Evan Creem follower

0points

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Kanga9ine 5 years ago

I wonder if God gets a little pissed off when folks show up in heaven after having undergone massive plastic surgeries while here on this lovely planet. Unrecognizable faces and bodies that since the Bible says we were made in his image, causing some people to wonder if their face was a result of a bad night out with the boys or a really bad drug induced burst of creativity gone bad.

0points

Kanga9ine 5 years ago

I really screwed up my point. I just don't think God will be too happy if he has to figure out who the hell the person he just happened to bump is. Boobs that defy the laws of nature, logic and good old common sense. So that got me thinking about having to report to Hell for Community Service, putting on a lovely fluorescent orange vest, cleaning up heaven and being dumped off at the gates of Hell's Employee Entrance, checking in our vests and trash picker upper thing-a-ma-doohickey and finding a way to harness all that heat into a nice sauna or sweat lodge.

0points

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Kelly Zhang 5 years ago

These are one of PM Seymour's series

0points

GFSTaylor 5 years ago

Reminds me of a book I have called The Creation Memos. Similar stuff and very funny.

0points

Phillip Moderow 5 years ago

Quintessential blasphemy. Bored Panda: Is nothing sacred ? Then I DARE YOU to print something like this about another religious icon -- you know who -- or are you worried about beheading ? Cowards.

-3points

Marnee DeRider 5 years ago

@Phillip: This post is not about "God"! This post is about funny viewpoints of animals. It's not even about any actual religion's view of a God, so it can't be disrespectful to that God. To say that this is blasphemy is like saying playing Angry Birds is cruelty to animals.

0points

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nicole buerosse 5 years ago

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Meowton Mewsk 5 years ago

If that offends you, just wait until you read the Bible. Whoever wrote that s**t is sick.

7points

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nicole buerosse 5 years ago

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nicole buerosse 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

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TJler 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Leslie Bethea 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Meowton Mewsk 5 years ago

The story / book describes him that way though. ?

8points

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POST

Bored Phoenix 5 years ago

Oh MY GOD!!!!!! More please!

22points

Jo Choto 5 years ago

The case for evolution grows ever stronger. LOL.

8points

Alusair Alustriel 5 years ago

Great one :D And laso makes you think how many different animals are there and how each is special ^^

7points

Lispel- Lotte 5 years ago

That remembers me to "wtf, evolution?" on tumblr, but instead of god it's the evolution who creates weird animals. (Search for it, it's really funny!)

5points

Elizabeth 5 years ago

This was a very good laugh!

4points

Dani 5 years ago

These were AMAZING! BP publishes some cool stuff but this is some of the best they’ve done in a while! ENCORE!!

3points

Freya the Wanderer 5 years ago

3points

Nosfentor 5 years ago

Not to mention the fact that the bible condones slavery.

9points

Load More Replies...

The Phantom of the Opera 5 years ago (edited)

This is why I'm an atheist. (Not meaning any disrespect whatsoever, I'm not saying that anyone's religion is bad, you do you)

4points

Full Name 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Stille20 5 years ago

This made my morning

2points

Zoila Flores Pena 3 years ago

I say oh my Jesus all the time. Imao

1point

HoffLensMetalHedLovesAnimalsUK 5 years ago (edited)

I laughed a lot at this.

1point

G13 5 years ago

This is hilarious

1point

Mariana Pinto 5 years ago

Can't remember the last time I laughed so hard!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you :D

1point

gibsonpic 5 years ago

These are fantastic!! I chuckled at them all!

1point

thepotatogirl 5 years ago

These are my favorite thing the internet has made

1point

Nosfentor 5 years ago

Hilarious! Great reasons to realize that religion is b******t.

1point

Meowton Mewsk 5 years ago (edited)

Ohhh okay. Makes sense. And now, like a melting snowflake, they are following you around openly weeping. Lol. Conservatives have zero self awareness.

1point

Load More Replies...

Kimberly 5 years ago

I saw Chuck (Rob Benedict) saying all this as I read it. I've been watching too much Supernatural lol

1point

Tyler Duffy 5 years ago

Lol I spit my coffee all over the sofa reading this. Thanks BP. You've been slipping but this makes up for it.

1point

Faulinei Shadowlord 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Load More Replies...

Smita Samel 3 years ago

oh my mee

0points

Lorelai Purvis 3 years ago

more more more

0points

Enola Brinkley-Crayton 5 years ago

You can joke about satan all you want but when you tread on God's creative hand tread lightly my friend tread lightly.

0points

Chris Keightley 5 years ago

Best!

0points

Obodo Linda 5 years ago

My God is not the same god you speak of. the one I know is full of kindness to me. never forget that.

0points

Chris Watson 5 years ago

Can't get past the comment referring to God as an a*****e . Not funny or cute. Or witty. Incredibly beyond disrespectful.

0points

Anna Salerno 5 years ago

Laugh if you must but, I sure wouldn't MOCK God!

0points

Patrick Foss 5 years ago

0points

Evan Creem 5 years ago

0points

Sue Hoyuela 4 years ago

Evan Creem follower

0points

Load More Replies...

Kanga9ine 5 years ago

0points

Kanga9ine 5 years ago

0points

Load More Replies...

Kelly Zhang 5 years ago

These are one of PM Seymour's series

0points

GFSTaylor 5 years ago

Reminds me of a book I have called The Creation Memos. Similar stuff and very funny.

0points

Phillip Moderow 5 years ago

Quintessential blasphemy. Bored Panda: Is nothing sacred ? Then I DARE YOU to print something like this about another religious icon -- you know who -- or are you worried about beheading ? Cowards.

-3points

Marnee DeRider 5 years ago

0points

Load More Replies...

nicole buerosse 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Meowton Mewsk 5 years ago

If that offends you, just wait until you read the Bible. Whoever wrote that s**t is sick.

7points

Load More Replies...

nicole buerosse 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

nicole buerosse 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Load More Replies...

TJler 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Leslie Bethea 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Meowton Mewsk 5 years ago

The story / book describes him that way though. ?

8points

Load More Replies...

People Imagine What God Was Thinking When He Created Specific Things And It’s Hilarious

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