you see this why, when your kid gets like this, play hide and seek, don't tell em that but just disapear for a few hours, its not hard to make yourself vanish in a big house and wait untill they wonder where you are, then you can say "now you need me" then walk away and finish eating that box of their favorite cookies right in front of them

"Coffee, Activate!"

I love the cold and the snow. It gives me a 6 month reprieve from bugs, plus even in the warm months there are just fewer creepy, crawly, slithery and scary creatures that live here

Ahh, yes, my father shows my younger siblings his love through responding to the moccasionally with "your mom" et cetera...

Hey, that's my couch.

hey wait a minute

I mean...accurate. i love you would die for you but sometimes i dont want to hug you for 100th time this hour after you called me a bad mom threw tantrum bc i said no to something you alrdy knew answer to. (3 yr old toddler so IN IT phase right now)

I'm grateful for my Mom. She absolutely did her best including shoplifting to make sure I had whatever I needed

Ok I like this one

how did you even get in!

That's why I left Facebook, it's why I won't pay to get a blue check. Political stuff is stupid

Probably because once the corporate hogwash finally disperses, it feels like family time again

because... i use other emoji's?

😔 A sad truth- it helps me to focus on loving others, that way they can know I love them and then I love myself for being loving! That made no sense, but the more love the better, is all I am saying!

My dog exactly

BP censors failed? Oh?

Not brushing your teeth could get you TO the dentist so… be my guest! Also, flunking can get you stuck with her more time. Again, go ahead!

For the food on the table.

that is pretty good joke

Yup.

Never understood this with kids. I didn't eat red meat for a while, and I did have stuff I'd think was gross, but I always tried everything I came across at least once. I also loved veggies (except water chestnuts, carrots, and lima beans) and all sorts of fruits (besides watermelon, cuz allergic). Like...never understood the super picky thing

I know how that feels!

Not a parent yet, but I need one to drown out the rest of the world