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When you see a fortune cookie, it’s not the cookie you’re craving; it’s the fortune. There are plenty of baked goods out there, but how many also act as a fortune teller or pretend to be one? On the other hand, is there a better fortune teller and hidden message carrier than a tasty one? Some of these fortune cookie messages, however, are so surprising they catch people completely off-guard.
Bored Panda has compiled a list of some of the funny fortune cookie sayings found by stunned customers to prove that Confucius isn’t behind all of them. From rude insults to questionable dares, the people who had the weird luck of discovering a funny fortune cookie definitely had a hard time swallowing them. Scroll down to read the hilarious list!
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#1
He Sat And Watched Me Eat Chinese Take-Out For Half An Hour. Then This Happened
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#2
Definitely The Scariest Fortune Cookie I've Ever Gotten
#3
Didn't Expect My Fortune Cookie To Be So Insightful
#4
Best Fortune I Have Ever Got In A Fortune Cookie
Fun Trivia About Fortune Cookies
There are several theories about the origin of fortune cookies. One such theory claims that fortune cookies are a purely American invention started by a Chinese (or Japanese) restaurant on the West Coast in the early 1900s. Some state it comes from Chinese history; Chinese rebelling patriots used to pass hidden messages in pastry to avoid getting caught. Others say it copies the Japanese tsujiura senbei (rice crackers with notes inside) treat.
China tried to popularize fortune cookies but it never caught on. Today, the biggest manufacturer of fortune cookies, Wonton Food, is located in New York and has been operating since 1973.
#6
My Wife And I Received Matching Fortunes At Dinner This Evening
#7
My Ironic Fortune Cookie
#8
My Coworker Just Came Back From Sick Leave; He Had A Heart Attack. To Celebrate We Went For Chinese. These Were In His Fortune Cookie
#9
Take That Big Step
#10
My Wife's And My Fortune Cookies. Hers Is On Top
#11
Just When I Thought I Got A Good Fortune Cookie
#12
Don't Expect Much From A Cookie
#13
Well Screw You Too Fortune Cookie
#14
My Wife And I Also Got Some Fortune Cookies
#15
This Was In My Fortune Cookie Last Night... Should I Call Somebody Or?..
#16
Faster Than The Bear
#17
Two Fortunes In One Cookie - Aaaaand I'm Offended
#18
When A Fortune Cookie Finally Speaks Up
#19
I Think This Wins The 'Worst Fortune Cookie Of All Time' Award
Penny Campbell 6 years ago
I don't know. I got a fortune cookie once and there wasn't a fortune in it. Someone took pity on me and gave me another cookie and it didn't have a fortune in it either.
#20
I Think My Fortune Cookie Just Threatened Me
Tiny Dynamine 6 years ago
As in at the supermarket behind the freezer before the security guard catches you?
Who Writes Funny Fortune Cookie Sayings?
If you want to make a prediction found in a fortune cookie funny, you need a master of the craft. Surprisingly, the author of funny fortune cookie quotes for Wonton Food isn't a professional writer. Donald Lau is the company’s chief financial officer, and according to his interview with CNN, he was given this job when the company was still small and he spoke the best English among all the employees.
He proved to have a great sense of humor and was the sole fortune cookie message writer for over 30 years. In his own words, Lau doesn’t see his fortunes as real predictions. They are just a fun way to finish a meal at a Chinese restaurant. Nevertheless, in his messages, Lau tries to combine humor with ancient Chinese traditions.
#21
My 3 Year Old Nephew Asked Me To Read Him His Fortune
#22
The Best Fortune Cookie Fortune Ever
#23
What A Tease Haha
#24
How Did The Cookie Know?
#25
This Fortune Cookie Is Too Real...
#26
My 9 Year Old Daughter Got This Fortune, I'm Happy For Her
#27
My Friend's Misprinted Fortune Is Kinda Dark
#28
My Fortune Cookie Has Either Seen Or Done Some Sh*t
#29
Worst Fortune Cookie Ever
#30
My Fortune Cookie Fortune Is Strangely Distraught
#31
Avoid Gambling, But Hey, These Numbers Are Lucky!
#32
I Spent 30 Minutes Trying To Get My Fortune Without Breaking The Bag Or Cookie
#33
Which One Of You Bastards Works In The Fortune Cookie Business?
#34
My Friend Got Rick Rolled By A Fortune Cookie
Tiny Dynamine 6 years ago
I have to quickly scroll past those lyrics before I get the song stuck in my head.
#35
Thank You Captain Obvious
How Can You Use Funny Fortune Cookie Messages?
Apart from being just a fun message to put a smile on someone's face, funny fortune cookie sayings can be turned into an amusing dare game with tasks to complete once you’ve eaten a cookie.
You can also turn it into an endearing tradition by leaving messages for your loved one in their pockets, notebook, or other unexpected places. Funny fortune cookie sayings will surely brighten their day and make them smile.
#36
Our School Fortunes Use A New Kind Of Motivation
#37
Oops
John L 6 years ago
There's a chance that the bulgogi you enjoyed at the Korean restaurant, at the Winter Olympics, may have been served with Man's Best Friend. Dog-on-the...951595.jpg 
#38
Pretty Sure My Fortune Cookie Is Telling Me To Masturbate...
#40
My Fortune Cookie Sounds Like Satan Trying To Give A Motivational Speech
#41
Unusual Predictions
#42
I Think My Fortune Cookie Just Threatened Me
#43
My Pet Is Planning What?
Vlad Horobet 6 years ago
Nonsense. My 12 foot crocodile is so well educated. Just look how he smiles and drools while he sees me.
#45
The Amazingly Accurate Fortune Cookie
#46
We Got Three Fortunes With Our Meal. I Have Now Learned All I Ever Need To Know Now In Chinese
#47
Deep
#48
So I Heard You Liked Fortune Cookies (From Scotland)
#49
Haha Is This A Good Fortune?
#50
Nice Try, Fortune Cookie
#51
Depends On The Muppet
#52
Was Looking For Wisdom And Got This... Though Very Accurate, Completely Useless...
#53
My Dads Fortune Cookie Paper Has Misaligned Print
#54
My Fortune Cookie Disagreed With Itself
#55
Didn't Expect The Same Fortune In My Second Cookie
#56
Hungover As Hell, I Stumbled Into A Chinese Buffet And Ate Five Plates. Then I Get This Fortune
#57
My Friend And I Just Opened Fortune Cookies Together
#58
Nice Try, Fortune. Still Not Gonna Try Anal
#60
Thought I'd Be Cool And Take The Fortune Out Of The Cookie Without Breaking It
#61
This Fortune Cookie Was Getting Really Philosophical With Me
Tiny Dynamine 6 years ago
Scientifically it is stationery as darkness contains neither particles nor waves, as light does. Discuss. ;)
#62
Fortune Cookie Is Eliminating The Competition
#63
My Fortune Cookie Was Rather Blunt
#64
Chef Grinned After I Opened My Fortune Cookie
#65
Is This Not The Creepiest Fortune Cookie You've Ever Seen?
#66
I Got A Political Fortune Cookie Yesterday
#67
This Cookie Really Sees The Future
#68
That's Oddly Specific Fortune Cookie
#69
Of All The Possible Fortune Messages To Get Multiple Of In A Single Cookie...
#70
These Are Horrible Fortune Cookies
#71
My Fortune Cookie Fortune About Being A True Patriot
#72
Went Out For Chinese Food Last Night. How Is This Even A Fortune?
#73
My Fortune Cookie Doesn't Make Sense
#74
The Most Important Word To Learn For Beginners?
#75
Got This In My Fortune Cookie Today
#77
You Don't Say
#79
I Don't Like The Fortune Cookie My Wife Got For Our Anniversary
#80
Fortune Cookie
#81
Umm... Instructions Unclear, Fortune Cookie
#82
After Eating Delicious Chinese Food. My Fortune Cookie Decided To Be An Asshole
#84
Moms Know Best
#85
Worst Fortune Cookie Ever
#86
One Of The Best Fortune Cookie Fortunes I’ve Ever Gotten
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What do you think ?
The Alchemist 6 years ago
At a family reunion, we had a chocolate fountain and one of the things we had with it was fortune cookies. I didn't think they would have fortunes in them because of the chocolate but gagging down that slip of paper proved me wrong. The next cookie I had I made sure to open. It said "You probably ate your fortune"
Jade Godfrey 2 years ago
I just got a fortune cookie saying, “ If you have a job without aggravations, you don’t have a job. Gee, thanks. (Definitely gonna keep this one)
The Alchemist 6 years ago
At a family reunion, we had a chocolate fountain and one of the things we had with it was fortune cookies. I didn't think they would have fortunes in them because of the chocolate but gagging down that slip of paper proved me wrong. The next cookie I had I made sure to open. It said "You probably ate your fortune"
Jade Godfrey 2 years ago
I just got a fortune cookie saying, “ If you have a job without aggravations, you don’t have a job. Gee, thanks. (Definitely gonna keep this one)
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