Keeping right on track with our promise to deliver an article dedicated to every possible topic of puns, we present the newest addition to our list - fish puns! This time we’ve scaled it down a bit and kept only a hundred and eight puns in our fin-al cut. Hopefully, this number will make you feel less like a fish out of water upon trying to read them all! At least, that was our Ghoul. See what we are doing here? We are swimmingly adding a couple more fish puns if, by any chance, the ones supplied below just aren’t su-fish-ent enough. But, enough of this nonsense, and let’s get down to bass-ness, the clever puns below.
As you can see, there are fish puns aplenty (there are basically as many of them as there are fish in the sea), and there are myriad ways to use them. From using one while fishing for compliments to eeling one into your very business email - with a bit of creativity, you can smuggle in a fish pun anywhere! And the wordplays aren’t limited to basses and marlins at all (though there’s nothing wrong with those two); there are quite a few on sunfishes, anglers, and various types of eels, too. Although, if your favorite kind of fish didn’t make it to our list, you could always come up with a pun of your own dedicated to it.
Okay, this time for reel, enough of the belletristic - it’s time for puns! So, scroll on down below to check out the silly puns, and don’t forget to vote for the ones that tickled your fins the most. Also, be sure to share this article with your fisher friends, as they might appreciate it more than you think, and suggest their own hilarious angler for these puns.
What’s the only right answer when a salmon asks you for a light?
I didn’t know you smoked, salmon.
Report
Who is the most famous fish spy?
James Pond.
Report
Surfing the net is great, unless, of course, you’re a fish.
Report
Lobsters would get along a lot better with the other shellfish if they weren’t always trying to lobster things up.
Report
What did the freshwater eel say to the salmon?
I don’t sea your point.
Report
Why can’t fish have romantic relationships?
They are scared of intima-sea.
Report
Why do fish companies never work?
They always have to scale back.
Report
What do you call a fish with a tie?
soFISHticated.
Report
Isn’t it a bit misleading to call thinly sliced raw beef carp-accio?
Report
Never try to talk to a fish before they’ve caf-fin-ated.
Report
Why do most people dislike anchovies?
Because they’re a little fishy.
Report
If Marcia Brady were a fish, what would her most famous line be?
Oh! Minnows.
Report
Why isn’t the bachelor fish married?
Because he has fin-timacy issues.
Report
When you visit your fish friends, what should you bring as a hospitality gift?
Anything but crabs.
Report
For fish astronauts, what’s the final frontier?
Trouter space.
Report
How much money does Gill Gates have?
A gillion dollars.
Report
Why did the fish get bad grades?
Because it was below sea level.
Report
What did the fish say to his girlfriend?
Your plaice or mine?
Report
What did the fish say to his girlfriend when they split up?
I’m outta this plaice!
Report
Just like the tuna fish sandwich said, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in cans-us anymore.
Report
That fish is so classy, it’s like he’s so-fish-ticated.
Report
Paci-fish-ts don’t believe in the notion of man o’ war.
Report
Cod this be any punnier?
Report
Speaking of being jelly, tunas were really miffed about the whole salmon-ella thing.
Report
When you need a handyman, which fish do you call?
The mantis shrimp because he has his own hammer and he’s always happy to use it.
Report
What happens when you mix a fish and a banker?
A loan shark.
Report
Why do fish not go to war?
Because they are paci-fish-ts.
Report
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
Report
What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market?
Good morning ladies.
Report
Tuna in next time for the funniest animal memes.
Report
If you’re going for roe-mance, then you’ll want to consider the caviar.
Report
When belugas have a lot on their mind, they’re said to be beluga-ed.
Report
How’s the calamari?
Why, it’s ex-squid-sit, thank you.
Report
You’re blushing like a catfish that’s just seen the bottom of the ocean.
Report
When another fish tries to make you think you’re cray-zy, tell them to stop bass-lighting.
Report
These days they let pretty much anyone o-fish-iate at weddings, as long as they have a certificate from the net.
Report
If you think of a betta pun, be sure to drop us a line.
Report
How does a fish know when the party’s over?
Well, it’s obvious when it’s fin-ished.
Report
Where can you find the down-and-out calamari?
On squid row.
Report
What’s the one fish that 40 percent of all Americans are afraid of?
Clownfish.
Report
Where do you put an argumentative fighting fish?
It’s in de-beta-bowl.
Report
What country can every fish trace their roots back to?
Finland.
Report
What’s the clownfish’s biggest fear?
That he’s not really all that finny.
Report
What does the bass say when the tilefish seems confused?
You’ve got that completely bass ackwards.
Report
How can you tell the blowfish has been working out?
He gets to looking extremely puff.
Report
What did the waiter say when the man complained his fish tasted funny?
Sir, did you or did you not order the clownfish?
Report
Where do fish sleep?
In the riverbed.
Report
What’s it called when a fish can’t carry a tune?
They’re tuna-deaf.
Report
How can you tell the puffer-fish had too much salt at dinner?
He’s looking blow-ted.
Report
What happens when a fish spends too much time on his computer?
There’s a risk of carp-al tunnel.
Report
How do you get an octopus to giggle?
Ten-tickles.
Report
What did the dentist say to the super-anxious shark?
Jaws relax.
Report
I’d make him walk the plankton for that.
Report
It’s a great oppor-tuna-ty!
Report
This is going to get a-trout-cious real quick.
Report
This is a big issue a-monk fishermen.
Report
Cod that was bad, eely bad.
Report
Which fish go to heaven?
Angelfish.
Report
Why did the little boy not eat his sushi?
Because it looked too fishy.
Report
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a fish?
One is a scum-sucking scavenger; the other is just a fish.
Report
How does a school of fish keep up to date about sea life?
They listen to the current news.
Report
Why did the teenage fish get told off in school?
Because he was talking on his shell phone.
Report
Did you hear about the illiterate fisherman?
He was lost at C.
Report
Why did the fish blush?
Because the sea-weed!
Report
What’s the laziest fish in the world?
A Kipper.
Report
Why did the shopkeeper through the clams out?
They were past their shell-by-date.
Report
What makes fish terrible journalists?
They always spread hake news.
Report
Why don’t fish like basketball?
Cause they’re afraid of the net.
Report
Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing?
Just for the halibut!
Report
Did you know the Octopus is the only fish that can squirt ink?
Just Squidding.
Report
Hey, would you mind letting minnow what you think about this one?
Report
When jellyfish act catty, it’s only because they’re jelly.
Report
That’s the thing about squids…they ink too much.
Report
Never fall in love with a blowfish. You’ll always get re-puffed.
Report
Crayfish were offended by the publication of Eat Cray Love because they felt the lack of punctuation might send the wrong message.
Report
It’s funny how fish never seem to know what you’re talking aboat.
Report
The thing salmons don’t like about tunas is everything’s a big sea-cret.
Report
What did you think of the series fin-ale?
Well, it wasn’t the bass-ed.
Report
Fish children should piscine and not heard.
Report
Have you heard the fisherman’s anthem?
Osetra can you sea by the dolphin fish bite.
Report
What’s the best way for a fish to get to Canada?
Follow the “northern pike”.
Report
Why did one fish slap the other?
To snapper out of it.
Report
How many tuna does it take to screw in a light bulb?
They don’t. They call an electric eel.
Report
What does the salmon always say at closing time?
Time to lox up.
Report
How do you know when something is fishy in the state of Denmark?
When Hamlet’s giving a speech that begins, “Tuna or not tuna, that is the question”.
Report
What does the walleye say to let you know he didn’t appreciate your last remark?
Walleye never been so insulted in my life.
Report
Why is the cost of living so affordable for a bay scallop?
They’re small, so they’re fine with living in an e-fish-ency.
Report
What did the fish husband say to the fish wife when she asked him how she looked.
You look fin honey, now stop fishing.
Report
What does telephone solicitor fish say when the person they’re calling picks up the phone?
Cod I have a moment of your time?
Report
What does the fish say when it’s had it “up to here”?
That’s the last craw.
Report
Seems a bit fishy to me.
Report
We should dolphinitely scale back on the fish puns.
Report
We, the jury, find this site gill-ty of too many fish puns.
Report
What’s this fish pun website you’ve been herring all about?
Report
Never trust unlicensed puns – always check they’re o-fish-al.
Report
Stop carping on; you’re giving me a haddock.
Report
DJ’s aren’t allowed to work at fish markets because they’re always dropping the bass.
Report
Most fish will tell you they like their food cold, and their bait a little worm.
Report
Some people don’t like fish puns, but they are kraken me up.
Report
We whaley need to stop now.
Report
Oh you’re so sofishticated.
Report
Did you hear about the fight in that restaurant?
Four fish were battered!
Report
Where do sick fish go?
To see a sturgeon.
Report
If a fish got the main role in a movie, what would it be called?
Starfish.
Report
How do you tuna fish?
Adjust their scales.
Report
How do you keep a fish from smelling?
Chop of its nose.
Report
Why did the fish blush?
Because he saw the boat’s bottom.
Report
Why did the fish get detention?
Because he was being too shellfish.
Report
How do you make an octopus laugh?
Give it ten-tickles.
Report
Where did Noah keep all of the fish?
In the multi-story carp ark.
Report
What does a fish wear to keep warm?
A shoal!
Report
Why is a fisherman so stingy?
Because his work made him sell-fish.
Report
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can’t walk.
Report
What fish travels 100 mph?
A motor pike.
Report
Why is it so easy to weigh a fish?
Because they have their own scales.
Report
What type of instrument do fish love to play?
A bass drum.
Report
Why did the fish start a charity?
He was reely good at findraising.
Report
Why don’t fish go into business together?
They are always sole traders.
Report
What did the fish take to work?
A b-reef-case.
Report
What type of music is best to listen to while fishing?
Something catchy!
Report
What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals?
Autotuna.
Report
Whats the best way to catch a fish?
Have some one thow it at you.
Report
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell a whale of a tale.
Report
What does the pope eat during lent?
Holy mackerel!
Report
Well, it’s oh-fish-ial.
Report
I would make him walk the plankton for that.
Report
Perch-ance, is this seat taken?
Report
When I grow up, I want to a bass-tro-physicist.
Report
That fish is rich and famous, but she’s still Jenny from the had-dock.
Report
When your fish boss is watching, you’d better look e-fish-ent.
Report
The thing about calamari is you can never tell when it’s just squidding.
Report
When a fish meets the love of their life, they say they’ve “met the gill of my dreams”.
Report
The first book of the fish bible is called Craytion.
Report
Why did the two fish have to “take it outside”?
They were about to have a roe.
Report
Which fish has the worst haircut?
The mullet.
Report
What did the introverted snail wish for more than anything?
That he could one day come out of his shell.
Report
What did one fatty tuna say to the other?
We’re in this together, toro and toro.
Report
Why does it seem like there are never any job openings at the fish company?
They’re scaling back.
Report
Dear Cod, I laughed so hard!
Report
Any fin is possible, just don’t trout yourself.
Report
Ahh guys, you’re krilling me now.
Report
I feel great every day of the week, barramundi.
Report
Have you thought of a fish pun yet, or do you need some time to mullet over?
Report
Create your own fish pun, don’t leave it to salmon else.
Report
I’m waiting for someone else to mussel in on this now.
Report
Cod I borrow you for a few minutes?
Report
You better not, or you’ll feel my wrasse.
Report
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Report
Why did the woman make tons of fish-eye soup?
Because it will see her through the week.
Report
Why will fish never take responsibility?
Because it’s always salmon else’s fault.
Report
Why do fish always lose their court cases?
They are always gill-ty.
Report
What did the salmon say when he swam into a wall?
Damn!
Report
You can’t expect a squid to answer a tough question without inking about it first.
Report
Why did the fisherman stop playing violin?
Because he was all out of tuna.
Report
What did the tuna say after the job interview?
Thanks for the oppor-tuna-ty.
Report
When do fish stage an intervention for a friend?
When they’ve hit rockfish bottom.
Report
What did one fish lawyer say to the other?
My client’s going to need a minute to mullet over.
Report
Where do shrimp go for cash in a pinch?
To the prawn shop.
Report
Why do fish try to stay on the good side of their monarch?
Well, otherwise they’d be royally scrod.
Report
What does the great white shark wear under his kill-t?
Nothing because once he’s an adult, he’s no longer focused on the bottom.
Report
I won’t be cod dead participating in this.
Report
We all just need to clam down now; I’m a bit shell shocked.
Report
Why should you never fight an octopus?
Because he’s too well armed.
Report
What did the fish say when his relationship started to flounder?
Halibut we chat about it?
Report
What did the romantic fisherman want?
A gill-friend.
Report
Why are fish so smart?
They live in schools.
Report
Who do fish pray to?
Cod Almighty.
Report
What did Dorothy the fish say?
There’s no plaice like home.
Report
What did the fish say when everyone left his party?
Tanks for coming!
Report
Why did Sally go to the Lake after her brothers teased her?
To fish for compliments.
Report
Sure, but fishing for compliments is never becoming.
Report
How do shellfish take photos?
With a clam-era.
Report
When is it time for a fish to go to an eye doctor?
When they’re having trouble sea-ing.
Report
Hoping to avoid turtle disaster.
Report
You’ve met your nemo-sis.
Report
You can tune a piano, but you can't tune a fish.
Report
Not bad, cod do better.
Report
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
