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50 Funny Final Words People Would Say If They Had The Choice, As Shared In This Online Thread
Although The Fault In Our Stars might have been the book to make John Green the rare writer to become a household name, for many, it was his debut novel, Looking for Alaska, that introduced us to this YA fiction heavyweight. The novel’s main protagonist, Miles Halter, nicknamed Pudge, is fascinated with famous people’s last words. Miles enjoys collecting famous last words because they brief him on how a person lived and died.
And honestly, there might be some truth to that. Long after his passing, the late comedian Bob Hope is still remembered for his funny last words. Apparently, when his wife asked him where he wanted to be buried, the legendary comedian quipped, “Surprise me.” Oscar Wilde, the ingenious playwright with numerous funny book quotes still making us laugh today, stayed witty until the end. Reportedly, his last words were, “This wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. Either it goes or I do.” Funny and ironic last words were also attributed to many other notable individuals, such as Voltaire, Winston Churchill, and Jack Daniels, whose last words, very fittingly, were “One last drink, please.” It’s hard to tell whether the last words people utter right before their passing are well-thought-out, deliberate, or, the opposite, completely unaware. However, their lasting impact can’t be denied. Interested in the subject, a user of the AskReddit community asked fellow Redditors, “If you could choose, what would be your last words?” As you may already know, the Reddit community is known for its good sense of humor, so it wasn’t surprising that most replies were humorous and tongue-in-cheek.
Below, we’ve compiled some of the funniest last words people came up with and shared in the thread. As always, upvote your favorite funny final words and let us know how you would reply to the same question in the comments section. And if you are up for some spook next, check out our article featuring creepy last words!
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#1
"It's just a flesh wound!"
Lakota Wolf 1 year ago
I hope I am cognizant enough to yell "Tis but a scratch!" as I die. Been a Monty Python fan since I was a kid too young to understand 99% of the jokes and puns XD
RELATED:
#2
"Listen, I’ve done this a million times and it’s totally safe. Don’t worry."
#3
"Watch closely... I can only do this trick once."
#5
"Not my words, but I'd play Windows XP shutdown sound. Been thinking of that since I was 8."
#6
fr4nk1yn said:
"F*ck all y'all! I never liked y'all anyway!" That'll probably be my actual last words."
pppfftt replied:
"Imagine not actually dying after that..."
two-sided llama 1 year ago
a man once thought he was on his deathbed and confessed to an unsolved murder turns out he survived and was sent to prison
#9
"There's something I've been dying to tell you."
#11
To borrow a Doctor Who quote:
"Before I go, I just want to say you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And you know what? So was I!"
#12
"I guess I don’t have to pay my student loans now."
two-sided llama 1 year ago
hey guys i found this new life hack to not paying your debt. first get a gun
#13
"My battery is low and it’s getting dark."
#14
"I’ve always kind of liked Dudley Moore’s last words: 'I can hear the music all around me.'"
#16
"Let's do a 'hold your breath' contest."
#18
"Delete my history."
Kitten of Flames (she/they) 1 year ago
"D-delete my search history. Ctrl + H, clear browsing data, delete all. Please..."
#19
"Good morning! And in case we don’t see each other, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!"
#21
"And for my final trick, I'm going to make myself DISAPPEAR!"
#22
"Goodbye everyone, I'll remember you all in therapy."
#23
"I never thought I’d die as a multi-billionaire king of the Northern Hemisphere in 2500."
#24
"Looks into the crowd of family members: "I know your secret, and I told one of them..."
#25
JoeBethersonton50504 said:
"'I hid a buried treasure at...' and then flatline."
-Human-Disaster- replied:
"But imagine if your death was slightly delayed, and you just lie there in silence for a few seconds while those around you wait with eager anticipation for you to finish the sentence."
f-a-c-e said:
"I’ll die being what I’m good at, awkward social situations."
Kitten of Flames (she/they) 1 year ago
'W-wait. Be-before I go. *heavy panting, gasps for air* I hid- I hid the buried treasure at-at-" *dies*
#26
"It was a jolly good show."
#27
"God does not exist, and if I am wrong may he strike me dead!"
#28
"Hey guys, make sure to like and subscribe."
#30
"My ancestors are smiling at me, Imperials, can yours say the same?"
#31
"Hold my beer."
kitten levels tokyo 1 year ago
The letters in those words can be rearranged to say “Be her moldy…” I think those would be more mysterious last words.
#33
"Before I leave...This life was sponsored by Raid Shadow Legends.
[Proceeds to state sponsorship mumble jumble]
Since sponsor spots take forever I would've indirectly given myself immortality."
#34
"Never forget to..."
#35
"Existence as we know it is a simulation. I have broken through the firewall. I can see the path. I can see them coming to silence me. Oh my god. It's crucial that you stop them. It's the pigeons. Stop people feeding the pigeons. It's the only way we can end the simulation. Oh my God, they are turning me off now. Stop the pigeons. Please."
#39
"If you like piña coladaaas...."
#40
"See you soon."
#41
"Be right back, just going to the store to pick up milk."
#42
"My 300th birthday party is next week. Wanna come?"
#43
"Any last words?"
"Yeah, just 3."
#45
"See you in hell."
#46
"Any word you want me to say to God?"
Kitten of Flames (she/they) 1 year ago
More like "Any word you want me to say to God? Oh wait, I guess the only one I'll meet is Satan, sorry."
#47
"Just like the simulations."
#48
"Tell my wife I said 'Hello.'"
#49
oranged_oranged said:
"Staring contest, go."
MonkeysEpic replied:
"Before putting a note in your pocket saying 'I Win.'"
two-sided llama 1 year ago
GUYS JERRY IS ALSO WINNING THE STARING CONTEST TOO I DONT KNOW IF HES OKAY I THINK HES SLEEPING WITH HIS EYES OPEN> HES BEEN STARING FOR 20 HOURS
#50
"Just rap the fast part of Rap God then drop dead."
not your average weirdo 1 year ago
I have a weird talent for rapping that part, needless to say my parents were very surprised
What do you think ?
not your average weirdo 1 year ago
I would say, “Don’t worry, I’ll be back in the next episode and no one will remember what happened.”
Stardust she/her 1 year ago
I’m going to give my friends and family ouija boards after I die. I have plans for my funeral so that I go out with a bang
TheElementalGod️️ 1 year ago (edited)
I'd say "I hid the doomsday device. It's gonna go off in 1 year. I hid it-" and then stop so people would be super frantic
Lylac Moonchild 1 year ago (edited)
All right y'all listen up. I got something important to say...... NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP -dies
Godzilla is angry 1 year ago
If you want it to be wholesome. who knows, maybe two lost souls can meet each other again, out among the stars., hln-a ark survival evolved
Bored&InSchool 1 year ago
"Pinapple does not belong on pizza, and this is why" (after getting extreme diarhea after trying a bite of pinapple pizza as a dare.)
Margaret H 1 year ago
I really hope I remember to say, "Give me freedom or give me death!" before I go.
Nikki Sevven 1 year ago
“I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.”
not your average weirdo 1 year ago
I would say, “Don’t worry, I’ll be back in the next episode and no one will remember what happened.”
Stardust she/her 1 year ago
I’m going to give my friends and family ouija boards after I die. I have plans for my funeral so that I go out with a bang
TheElementalGod️️ 1 year ago (edited)
I'd say "I hid the doomsday device. It's gonna go off in 1 year. I hid it-" and then stop so people would be super frantic
Lylac Moonchild 1 year ago (edited)
All right y'all listen up. I got something important to say...... NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP -dies
Godzilla is angry 1 year ago
If you want it to be wholesome. who knows, maybe two lost souls can meet each other again, out among the stars., hln-a ark survival evolved
Bored&InSchool 1 year ago
"Pinapple does not belong on pizza, and this is why" (after getting extreme diarhea after trying a bite of pinapple pizza as a dare.)
Margaret H 1 year ago
I really hope I remember to say, "Give me freedom or give me death!" before I go.
Nikki Sevven 1 year ago
“I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.”
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