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129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie

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Don't you even pretend that you've never used a fake excuse to leave work early, end a date, or justify why you haven't done your homework. And while some perhaps use somewhat believable work excuses for being late, such as being stuck in traffic when you simply wanted to get some extra Zzzs, some reasons can get pretty... ridiculous.

While some funny fake excuses may be believable to some level, sometimes, reasons to skip work get so outlandish that they surprise even the ones who have heard it all, aka the HR department. The most ridiculous, stupid excuses people have come up with just show the power of human imagination. However, the dilemma with funny excuses is that if the reason is legit (because sometimes you really do get drunk by accident), do you say the actual cause or come up with a more plausible explanation? Just some food for thought.

However, this is not it if you are looking for a list of excuses to help you pull off a sickie or bulletproof excuses to get out of work. Below, we've compiled a list of funny excuses for missing work that likely were a little too far-fetched and didn't assure a day off. Have you ever used a fake reason to skip work? Or perhaps you work in HR and hear the lamest excuses to get out of work regularly? Let us know!

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#1

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie I have a new puppy and I need to play with him.

18points

TheElementalGod️️ 1 year ago

Valid reason 100%

2points

#2

A random man broke in last night and he’s asleep on my couch.

18points

The Founder 2 years ago

That was definitely my neighbour Abraham

1point

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#3

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie I’m pretty high right now. I’m kind of hallucinating.

17points

#4

I accidentally downed a rum and coke this morning, thinking it was just coke.

17points

#5

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie I have issues and Spiderman is coming over to solve them. Can’t go to school.

16points

#6

Someone stole all my shoes.

15points

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#7

My dog asked me to stay home.

15points

Ninjago 2 years ago

I work in a pretty chill environment. I'm definitely using this next time I call out

2points

#8

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie My dog’s depressed.

14points

Booklover<3 2 years ago

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#9

I thought I was sick, but then I realized I wasn’t.

14points

#10

I fell over in the shower and knocked myself out.

13points

𝖊𝖆 2 years ago

I used to fall in the shower a lot (and up/down stairs, or pass out after going up stairs) due to an undiagnosed medical condition. Was always covered in bruises and it used to make me late for work a lot. My boss didn’t believe me at first and would say things like you said that last time. Ended up just showering at night to try and make sure I wouldn’t have any accidents in the morning!

4points

#11

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie A chicken attacked my mother.

13points

#12

My psychic told me not to.

13points

#13

An employee’s wife found out he was cheating, and he had to spend the day retrieving his belongings from the dumpster.

13points

TheElementalGod️️ 1 year ago

karma

1point

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#14

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie I was really sick tomorrow.

13points

#15

I was in the loo and my legs fell asleep. When I stood up, I fell and broke my ankle.

12points

#16

A fox stole my car keys while I was asleep.

12points

Claire Pusey 2 years ago

Swiper no swiping!!

2points

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#17

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie I had a dream that my cat died and now I’m afraid to leave her.

12points

Sparkysheep 1 year ago

😢 this happened to me.. my mom told me to go back to sleep, that it was just a nightmare, but it wasn't. Not entirely anyway..

0points

#18

It’s too cold.

12points

#19

I thought it was Saturday today.

12points

Sparkysheep 1 year ago

Me every day😳

0points

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#20

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie A lady was giving birth on the street and I had to help her.

12points

#21

I accidentally got on a plane.

11points

#22

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie I can’t speak.

11points

#23

I have no clean clothes.

11points

Ninjago 2 years ago

I mean... I've def worn dirty clothes to work for this reason... Or damp clothes.. Because I'm irresponsible

2points

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#24

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie A cow broke into my house and I’m waiting for the insurance man.

11points

#25

We think the house is haunted so we’ve called a priest.

11points

Flora Wolfskill 5 months ago

I mean it's not exactly an lie If it's true only lie is that we are calling a priest

0points

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#26

I need a few hours to get the alcohol in my blood down to a legal level.

11points

#27

I don’t know where I am.

11points

𝖊𝖆 2 years ago (edited)

Guilty, get anxious in big car parks and always forget where I park. It’s like a face blindness thing but with landmarks if that makes sense? Nothing looks familiar and I get confused. So now if going to regular places I always try and park in the same space as a routine. Anyway. Once had a massive panic attack at a multi-storey and couldn’t remember which floor I’d parked on, ended up being nearly an hour late back from lunch and in a right old state 🤦🏻‍♀️ Learned a lesson, if it’s a new place I take a photo of where or what level i parked on!

2points

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#28

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie I climbed a tree to help a cat and now I’m stuck.

11points

#29

I’m stuck under the bed.

11points

#30

An employee got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldn’t get out.

11points

#31

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie An employee broke his arm reaching to grab a falling sandwich.

11points

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#32

An employee had to attend the funeral of his wife’s cousin’s pet because he was an uncle and pallbearer.

11points

#33

An employee woke up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it.

11points

Ninjago 2 years ago

Seems fair

3points

#34

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie An employee had to mow the lawn to avoid a lawsuit from the Homeowners’ Association.

11points

#35

An employee was blocked in by police raiding her home.

11points

#36

An employee has to take his pet turtle to visit the exotic animal clinic.

11points

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#37

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie An employee was cornered by a moose.

11points

#38

An employee was at their office but fell asleep in the parking lot.

11points

Nichole Harris 2 years ago

Omg I think I know this guy

2points

#39

I thought it was supposed to snow today, so I slept in.

11points

#40

My wife left me and she took my car with her.

11points

#41

I thought I was being followed so I drove to the police station.

11points

#42

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie My refrigerator fell on me.

11points

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#43

I didn't find the classroom in the school.

11points

#44

I got my fingers stuck in a bowling ball.

10points

#45

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie I broke my little toe.

10points

Karson Rahn 10 months ago

relatable

0points

#46

I rolled out of bed and knocked myself out so I missed my alarm.

10points

#47

My girlfriend bit me in a bad place.

10points

#48

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie There’s a crocodile in my house.

10points

Harshini G Saravanan 1 year ago

only in Florida tho

1point

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#49

My goldfish is ill.

10points

#50

There’s a bird in my house – I don’t know what to do.

10points

#51

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie My cat has hiccups and I can’t leave her.

10points

#52

I got bitten by a snake on my way to work.

10points

#53

A swarm of bees surrounded my car so I couldn’t get in it.

10points

#54

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie I’m still at the party.

10points

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#55

It’s my unbirthday!

10points

ToxiCity 2 years ago

a very merry unbirthday!

3points

#56

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie An employee claimed his grandmother poisoned him with ham.

10points

#57

An employee said that someone glued her doors and windows shut so she couldn’t leave the house to come to work.

10points

#58

An employee claimed the ozone in the air flattened his tires.

10points

#59

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie An employee said she was bitten by a duck.

10points

#60

An employee’s child stuck a mint up his nose and had to go to the ER to remove it.

10points

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#61

An employee had a headache after going to too many garage sales.

10points

#62

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie An employee couldn’t decide what to wear.

10points

#63

An employee ate too much birthday cake.

10points

#64

An employee had a gall stone they wanted to heal holistically.

10points

#65

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie An employee put petroleum jelly in their eyes.

10points

#66

An employee couldn’t come to work because their mother locked them in a closet.

10points

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#67

An employee thought the sunrise was so beautiful that they had to stop and take it in.

10points

#68

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie An employee said their mother-in-law wouldn’t stop talking.

10points

#69

An employee’s coffee was too hot and they couldn’t leave until it cooled off.

10points

#70

Somebody stole my car’s wheels.

10points

Nicky Hands 2 years ago

You think this is a joke? In 2002 I was heavily pregnant with my 1st child, I wake up to my neighbour screaming hysterically that someone had stolen his wheels! I get managed to get up and waddle to the front door to see his little VW CitiGolf on bricks 🤣😂🤣😂🤣 we lived in a security estate with guards patrolling.....

1point

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#71

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie My wife found out I was cheating and threw all my stuff out.

10points

#72

I broke my foot after I got up from the toilet.

10points

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#73

Grandma has lost her glasses and she needs me.

10points

Sparkysheep 1 year ago

More like I lost my glasses... I'm like Velma without them 😬

0points

#74

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie My girlfriend threw a Wii remote at me and it’s chipped my tooth.

9points

#75

An employee couldn’t come in because his llama wouldn’t stop barfing.

9points

Ninjago 2 years ago

I feel this is a legitimate excuse...I mean if my dog was continuously barfing you'd bet if call out and take him to the vet immediately.

2points

#76

The employee said that he couldn’t come to work because his fortune-teller had asked him not to step out of the house or he would suffer a brain hemorrhage.

9points

TheElementalGod️️ 1 year ago

gotta do what the fortune teller tells you to!

1point

#77

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie An employee was feeling too upset after watching “The Hunger Games.”

9points

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#78

A male employee claimed he had morning sickness.

9points

#79

I saw a UFO and I had to stop and observe it.

9points

TheElementalGod️️ 1 year ago

FBI OPEN UP

1point

#80

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie I was out of cat food so I had to go to the pet store first.

9points

#81

My mom didn’t give me breakfast so I waited till lunch time.

9points

#82

I think I’ll be coughing today.

9points

#83

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie I got bitten by a mosquito.

8points

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#84

It’s a secret. If I tell you, you’ll be in grave danger.

8points

#85

My (soon-to-be-ex) wife is burning all of my possessions on the front lawn.

8points

#86

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie An employee called in sick because he ate cat food instead of tuna and was deathly ill.

8points

#87

An employee’s false teeth flew out the window while driving down the highway.

8points

#88

An employee was experiencing traumatic stress from a large spider found in her home and had to stay home to deal with it.

8points

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#89

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie An employee caught their uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry.

8points

#90

An employee’s dead grandmother was being exhumed for a police investigation.

8points

#91

An employee forgot he had been hired for the job.

8points

#92

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie The employee insisted he’d locked himself in his house by mistake and that the house did not have any windows to crawl out of.

8points

Ninjago 2 years ago

Lol that employee was tripping

2points

#93

An employee hurt his back chasing a beaver.

8points

#94

An employee’s fake eyelashes were stuck together.

8points

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#95

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie An employee accidentally drove to their former employer’s location even though they haven’t worked there for five years.

8points

#96

The bus broke down and the driver wouldn’t let me off.

8points

#97

It’s too hot today. Schools remain shut during hot summer days.

8points

#98

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie Jack Duckworth died in Corrie last night and I’m in no fit state to face work.

7points

#99

I went to get petrol but I couldn’t get the cap off because my hands are too moisturized, so I had to call my boyfriend to come and do it for me.

7points

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#100

I think I’ve been spiked.

7points

#101

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie I can’t because of Brexit.

7points

#102

My kid’s pulling a sickie – why can’t I?

7points

#103

An employee had been at the casino all weekend and still had money left to play with on Monday morning.

7points

#104

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie An employee said bats got in her hair.

7points

#105

An employee said the meal he cooked for a department potluck didn’t turn out well.

7points

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#106

An employee had just put a casserole in the oven.

7points

#107

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie An employee called in sick from a bar at 5:00 p.m. the night before.

7points

#108

An employee though Flag Day was a legal holiday.

7points

#109

An employee was late because they overslept because their kids changed all the clocks in the house.

7points

#110

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie An employee ordered a pizza that was late being delivered, and they had to be home to accept/pay for it.

7points

#111

I was waiting for an engineer to come round and service my boiler.

7points

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#112

I ordered a taxi but it arrived over 20 minutes late.

7points

Sparkysheep 1 year ago

Legit. Happens more often than not for me 😮‍💨

0points

#113

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie There was a free giveaway at Costa Coffee but the line was really long.

7points

#114

I poked myself in the eye with a hairbrush.

7points

#115

The teacher gave enough homework for the whole week. I’ll go next week now.

7points

#116

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie I have a blocked nose.

6points

#117

My football team lost last night.

6points

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#118

I have a peg stuck on my tongue.

6points

#119

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie Something at that party last night must have set my tummy off.

6points

#120

There’s a “hit” out on me.

6points

#121

An employee said he had to watch a soccer game that was being played in Europe.

6points

#122

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie An employee said his mother made his favorite dish and he ate too much.

6points

#123

An employee said the wind blew the deck off their house.

6points

David Christopher 4 months ago

If you live in Oklahoma, that is a legit excuse!

0points

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#124

An employee was offered a grilled cheese sandwich and couldn’t say no.

6points

#125

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie An employee was an hour late because an astrologer warned them of a car accident on a major highway, so they took all backroads.

6points

#126

An employee claims their dog ate their work schedule.

6points

Sparkysheep 1 year ago

My dog literally ate my homework once. God that was embarrassing. They all laughed so I showed them the paper. Someone even claimed I had my dog eat it on purpose 😤. Like I'd do that to my babies!

0points

#127

I cleaned the house so I didn’t have to do it after work.

6points

#128

129 Most Far-Fetched Funny Excuses People Used Trying To Pull A Sickie My convertible is full of flour.

6points

#129

I’m dizzy. I dreamt I was on that roller coaster again.

6points

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Aivaras Kaziukonis

Aivaras is a SEO listicles curator. Aivaras is a student trying to pave the way to his career in Marketing and advertisment creation. Also Aivaras like's to watch and play sports, especially football.

Aivaras is a SEO listicles curator. Aivaras is a student trying to pave the way to his career in Marketing and advertisment creation. Also Aivaras like's to watch and play sports, especially football.

Violeta Lyskoit

Violeta is an SEO Editor at Bored Panda. She has completed her higher education at Northumbria University with a bachelor's degree in Media & Journalism.

Violeta is an SEO Editor at Bored Panda. She has completed her higher education at Northumbria University with a bachelor's degree in Media & Journalism.

What do you think ?

sweet emotion 3 months ago

Many years ago, a woman in my office called in and told her boss that she had confused nail glue for her contact lens solution. Even the must gullible manager on the floor laughed at that one.

0points

sweet emotion 3 months ago

Many years ago, a woman in my office called in and told her boss that she had confused nail glue for her contact lens solution. Even the must gullible manager on the floor laughed at that one.

0points

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