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40 Times Word Crimes Had To Be Called Out By The English Language Police, As Shared By This Facebook Group
How many “c’s” and “m’s” in “accommodate?” Is there a “c” in “acquire?” While it might seem obvious when written out in front of you, English spelling can make fools of the best of us, but most people will probably overlook a misspelled word in a text. But that mistake becomes ever so magnified when you are driving around and see it displayed in, say, a shop window.
The “English Language Police” Facebook page gathers word crimes and grammatical mistakes people have spotted in the wild. So scroll down and enjoy the funniest examples here, upvote your favorites, and be sure to let us know what common language mistakes are your number one pet peeve.
More info: Facebook
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Listening To "Water Music" Will Never Be The Same Again
Bob Brooce 2 years ago
If only "Handel" was capitalized I'd think it was deliberate.
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ValdaDeDieu 2 years ago
If that doesn't work, you might have to go Chopin for plumbing supplies.
RELATED:
#2
Free Bill Posters
The Milk In Your Fridge 2 years ago
poor Bill Haley and Bill Withers :( just trying to make a living /j
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Mary Peace 2 years ago
In the 1970s in the UK, we regularly proclaimed the innocence of Bill Posters.
ValdaDeDieu 2 years ago
Now Bill Readers, on the other hand, could be said to be an accessory.
Happiness is Hippo 2 years ago
How many women do you know called Bill though?
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#3
That Was After The Honeymoon
le_smol_froge 2 years ago
It’s at 69 so I don’t wanna touch it so here’s a spiritual upvote
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martymcmatrix 2 years ago
"Restore the panty before you leave" → a sign on a door of a pantry in a vacation apartment in Austria
John Kamau 2 years ago (edited)
How hard did you ride her or were you avenging for 10 years of dry spell?
Isaac Harvey 2 years ago
If the repairs are done, the bride is underneath them, as indicated by the sign. Therefore, she is likely inside of the bridge, and almost certainly dead.
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
Because I drop the 'd' in bridge when speaking, I tend to leave it out when writing (thank you red squiggly lines for catching it again).
Native speakers (and writers) of English all have their own struggle words. Some people can’t stand the doubling of a specific letter, like aggression versus agression. In other cases, people think there is a second letter where there actually is none, for example, imitate versus immitate. More often than not, this is a result of English not being a phonetic language.
Many writing systems attempt to just jot down the sounds that a particular word consists of. As logical as this sounds, many languages skip this part, English being one of them. Partially, the French can be blamed, as a lot of constructions in modern English have old French (and Norman) origins, due to William the Conqueror, well, conquering England in 1066.
#4
So Many People To Send Them To
Majungasaurus 2 years ago
Thai baht? Sold. UK pounds? No thanks I can make my own threats lol
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Bill Swallow 2 years ago
No, thanks! I prefer the old-fashioned homemade, hand-crafted threats. They're more meaningful.
#5
I Don't Know If I Can Stay Awake For 5 Days... Anymore
Falcon 2 years ago
Spitting into your own eye is already a challenge, but idk if I can do that after being awake 5 days in a row.
mooshoflove 2 years ago
I'm currently on day 2 and think I'll be going into a minor coma tomorrow.. 😪
Load More Replies... Max(pronouns/whatever/hamster) 2 years ago
How do i instill drops by mouth?? Seems complicated. I wonder wjat happens if i use my ears instead
Melissa 2 years ago
Do a handstand with the dropper in your mouth. With a little luck it might land in your eyes.
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David 2 years ago
Even ignoring the bad English - I've never had a medication that advised me to take it while awake. It was always just an unspoken understanding between my doctor and me. Perhaps they are also an Ambien user and weird things happen at night.
Michelle Smith 2 years ago
I thought they meant that you didn’t have to get up in the night to take it i.e. around-the- clock?
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JessieJ&LilyLovebug 2 years ago
I have been a pharmacy technician for more than 20 years. This is pretty bad. The pharmacist is supposed to check each prescription, and they obviously failed at their job on this one.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Of course not! You need to get someone else to spit it in your eye! :)
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#6
The Whole Planet? Seems Kinda Harsh
Terran 2 years ago
Schrödinger's truck driver can be both by and jnside his truck.
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Glengoolie Blue 2 years ago
Only while the truck is being unloaded. Then, they're free to roam the Earth.
Penny Hernandez 2 years ago
Yeah, let's keep truckers in their place. Loose truckers wandering all around is a growing problem.
Serenity Now! 2 years ago
Poor drivers have to stay in their trucks for the duration of their employment.
Panda of Doom 2 years ago
"Goddammit Carl, you've been walkin' round the world unsupervised again?!?!"
To counter this, English orthographer Christopher Upward designed something called cut spelling. The basic idea was to “cut” redundant and silent letters, which would “help” save 8–15% of space when printing written texts and, potentially, reduce the number of spelling mistakes that we all run into regularly. It never really took off because who wants to go through the hassle of remaking the entire spelling system of a language?
#7
Well That Is One Way To Prevent Theft
BewilderedBanana 2 years ago
damn that's harsh. i once mis-read a similar sign as "trespassers will be persecuted" which i thought was a much more effective deterrent than "prosecuted"... but "prostituted" is on a whole new level :D
Tetelestai 2 years ago
I used to wonder why people would only be chased for parking their car in the wrong spot, until my mom explained prosecution is different lol
Load More Replies... Michelle Smith 2 years ago
After I pay for the merchandise I stole, may keep the rest of whatever my John paid me?
#8
Please, Turn Water Into Wine
#9
Good Advice
As English is spoken around the globe by over 1.5 billion people as a first or second language, it makes sense that large, sweeping changes might not be that realistic to implement. It’s also a language without a “central” authority, with different spelling, pronunciation, and slang depending on where one is. Researchers call this a pluricentric language, meaning that different strains develop and intermix without one being regarded as the “official” variant.
#10
Very Witty Indeed
#11
You Expect The Guy To Open The Store While Being Circumcised?
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Well if it was happening to me I'd want to keep my eyes closed, so it would be unseen!
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#12
I Hadn't Realized It Was Banned
Terran 2 years ago
Italia! It's time to muster the troops! Liberate the people and end the oppression! #LegalizeMarinara #FreeBillPosters
Tetelestai 2 years ago
I wonder… was innocent Bill Posters taken because of the marinara??? No wonder we must legalize marinara now, if Bill is innocent
Load More Replies... Fat Harry 2 years ago
This could be intentional. It's the sort of misspelling that I'd go for in an attempt to be funny...
BewilderedBanana 2 years ago
damn didn't know if was a controlled substance... it can be addictive so seems fair
The Milk In Your Fridge 2 years ago
when paired with meatballs, goodness knows what will happen…
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Evan Singleton 2 years ago
It's a joke by an Arizona pizza restaurant, Oreganos. Not a mistake
The result is that most variants of English are mutually intelligible, though there are always many anecdotes about thick accents from one English-speaking country or another. It also has a global reach, both due to colonial history and mass media. These days, English can be referred to as a true “lingua franca,” as it is often used when both parties don’t share a common language.
#13
Okay Then
Falcon 2 years ago
You'd be surprised how many people don't understand what a designated parking space is.
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
Thanks. Don't mind if I do. Got my eye on that shady patch right there.
Just Sayin 2 years ago
C**p! I guess I'll have to move my car then! Wish they had this sign so people can see it!
#14
Aldi Australia Is Selling This Stool
martin734 2 years ago
Is that for the person giving or receiving? I suppose sitting on that would be more comfortable than kneeling.
Vic 2 years ago
Or does the stool gives you one? Interesting.. On second thoughts.. with the upside down in Australia, I wonder if blow j means ana... Hmm.. very interesting..
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juice 2 years ago
something about how they made/treated the fur would be my best guess
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#15
Oh My
Attempts to make a “neutral” global means of communication have led to the creation of “Globish,” a somewhat uninspiring name for a language. The idea, created by Jean-Paul Nerrière, was to have something that was not tied down by the cultural weight of English and also incorporate elements from other languages around the world. Nevertheless, its largest “lender” of words was still English (around 1500 words) and it has not really taken off at the moment.
#16
Where Is Elon When You Need Him?
Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago (edited)
And here a reminder that "musk" is a Sanskrit word meaning "scr*tum" (which is a swearword here, apparently).
censorshipsucks 2 years ago (edited)
So explanation here. This is probably in Africa. I've seen it a lot. In Africa we basically pronounce the English vowels in African style, (a= uh, e= eh, i= ee, o= aw, u= oo) so, "A" is pronounced like the U in musk, etc. Hence when people hear the word "mask" they hear it as "musk" and write it as such. Another example is if your company has a Staff Bus as transport. To transport your employees. It's quite often misspelt as "stuff bus".
#17
A Sticky Situation To Be In
Henry Russell 2 years ago
ITS A HELL OF A FEELING THOUGH ITS A HELL OF A FEEL THOUGH
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Martin Kaine 2 years ago
Or to say something quickly. Per Mark Twain: "There was a buzz of gratification from time to time during the reading, accompanied by whispered ejaculations of 'How sweet!' "
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#18
The Four Apostrophe’s’ Of The Apocalypseses’s’
Vicki Doggurl 2 years ago
Unless Goodwyns is the name… but then it should’ve been Goodwyns’. Yep. You’re right. :)
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Majungasaurus 2 years ago
It’s so simple - if it’s plural, just add an s! That’s it! (Unless the word ends in S lol. I think some people get confused by that rule and forget that the plural of sofa is sofas, not sofa’s)
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Robert T 2 years ago
They have initial capitals, so are proper nouns, therefore 's indicates possession. ;-)
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Majungasaurus 2 years ago
Only ones that belong to their chair’s recliner!
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Arturo De la Rosa 2 years ago
you don't understand, they sell things that go on beds, that are part of recliners, that are included with chairs, that obviously come as part of sofas
English is so predominant that some scholars believe it might lead to premature language death. As it is tied up with employment, research, and a lot of popular media, English remains one of the top choices for people to learn, at the cost of acquiring a different language. The unfortunate result is that it introduces alien words and idioms into languages where they don’t belong, supplanting the more unique original structures.
#19
No, Thanks
54 s 2 years ago
This one might actually be correct. There was a huge problem with eye drops having bacteria that caused eye infections a month or so ago.
Bookworm 2 years ago
I was just going to say that they might want to rethink this given recent events involving contaminated eye drops!
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Not-a-Clue-What-to-Call-Myself 2 years ago
This is the same issue as the UK governments "illegal immigration bill" which may well turn out to be an immigration bill that is indeed illegal.
#20
Me In Real Life
Passerby 2 years ago
The world would collectively start to combat global warming and such just to save the bacon bees in that case.
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Nonna_SoF 2 years ago
The egg. The flowers evolved to aid in sextual reproduction and so must have come after it.
Load More Replies... #21
Pretty Intimidating If You Ask Me
Biofish23 2 years ago
I know home birth vs hospital birth can be somewhat controversial, I didn't know online birth was an option, never mind death.
Cat Chat 2 years ago
... and who in their right mind would volunteer to be "proxy birthers" for those choosing an online option (same for "proxy deathers). 😉
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Lucio Mascarenhas 5 months ago
I'm guessing India. Its meant to read "Online registration of births & deaths done here."
#22
Can You Eat Non-Customers At The Tables? Asking For A Friend
Loverboy 2 years ago (edited)
That's alright, the customers taste better than the food anyway.
Headless Roach 2 years ago
@Tilfeldig Forbipasserende - how do you feel about it?
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Uh, Oh
Loverboy 2 years ago
*You're. Knowing proper grammar is the difference between knowing your s**t and knowing you're s**t.
Karen Grace 2 years ago
I didn't know they were detachable! Is all that hair to hide the Velcro?
#24
This Sign
Pointsetta Hollingsworth 2 years ago
I AM NOT AMERICAN... I AM NEW YORKIAN
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QuirkyKittyGirl 2 years ago
Ah, yes. American schooling rears its ugly head. (… and I'm American. I tell you, it's embarrassing!)
aZZy_d3Lta (they/star/bun) 2 years ago
my ship crash landed in america... so close to Canada, as well! At least I have healthcare (We didn't have that at ALL on my planet!)
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Vicki Doggurl 2 years ago
What I don’t understand is why people say ‘America’ and everyone thinks of the US. There are so many other countries in North America, Central America and South America.
Cat Chat 2 years ago
Because it's used as a shortened version of United States of America, not necessarily that it's the only nation in the Americas. USA is a better shortener, and the one I prefer to use (or US)
Load More Replies... KermitTheHermit 2 years ago
So the US sees Florida as dumbass, bat-s**t crazy state where crazy, weird and wild stuff occurs way too frequently. It occurs to me that the US (and yes, I am a US citizen) is the world’s Florida.
#25
Oof
Alessandra Trabalho 2 years ago
Yeah. I went to this funeral once and the cemetery advettised in their restrooms: "We use only natural fertilizers in ourgarden". ...
#26
Dognuts? Hmmm
#27
Clever Crafter's Fail
#28
Let's Hope The Burger Is Ok
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
yep, the currency gives it away. I've even seen a "raping kit", which turned out to be a wrapping kit. Esh. /omg
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The Milk In Your Fridge 2 years ago
isn’t there a vegetable called ‘rape’, only it’s pronounced “rah-peh”
smugdruggler 2 years ago
There is a plant called rapeseed. The nectar makes honeybees aggressive.
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#29
Yummy
Tabby_Sohee 2 years ago (edited)
Lol for anyone wondering, that’s in Korean and it says 낙지젓, seasoned and preserved baby octopus side dish
#30
Two Lies And A Grammar Gaffe. What An Ad
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
When slang and bad grammar first appeared in adverts a couple decades ago, people took notice for good or bad. Now it's expected.
#31
I've Read This Five Different Ways. Each Giving A New And More Disturbing Meaning To It
Tetelestai 2 years ago (edited)
Er, am I the only one who only made sense of this sign by reading it as a limit of 3 children can go fishing at one time?
#32
How Can You Fill Both Sides Of An Aisle With One Niche Product Category?
Isaac Harvey 2 years ago
Yeah, but the trend is still in its infancy from what I've observed.
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Tetelestai 2 years ago
I thought of mini, baby sized deodorants for traveling
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#33
Saying “You Are A Cancer” Isn’t Much Better
Maria Maria 2 years ago (edited)
Some languages use "have" like English uses "are." I can't tell you how many people l have heard say something like: "my son has five years. "
O-O 2 years ago
thats the case in french - you use j'ai before the answer and thats the I part of avoir which means to have
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nala simba 2 years ago
There always used to be an "S" on the end of "congratulations!" Are we saving on ink and air now?
Isaac Harvey 2 years ago
Must be from Internet Explorer. My diagnosis was almost 9.5 years ago.
Rosa Carone-Prendergast 2 years ago
It's true. I was born on July 7th and I'm a Cancer but it sounds so weird when I say I'm a Cancer.
#34
Seems Awfully Cheap
Harris Good 2 years ago
reminds me of bob's burgers... "we make our burgers with dead bodies from the crematorium next door!"
Mark Fuller 2 years ago
I don't know. With waaaaay too many people on the planet, it's no surprise they can sell for a competitive price!
#35
Unique Eligibility Criteria
#36
Misogynists (Somewhere In Canada)
°CORLEONE° 2 years ago
It is a real park hahaha https://www.google.com/maps/@49.2636471,-123.0969396,3a,75y,31.29h,89.12t/data=!3m7!1e1!3m5!1sZ-R9NWejKReyPNsxHbbuzQ!2e0!6shttps:%2F%2Fstreetviewpixels-pa.googleapis.com%2Fv1%2Fthumbnail%3Fpanoid%3DZ-R9NWejKReyPNsxHbbuzQ%26cb_client%3Dsearch.revgeo_and_fetch.gps%26w%3D96%26h%3D64%26yaw%3D280.0476%26pitch%3D0%26thumbfov%3D100!7i16384!8i8192
Majungasaurus 2 years ago (edited)
Oh yeah that’s Guelph Park, I used to live real close. The “dude chilling” name was in reference to a statue there (that looked like a dude just chilling I guess). The original “dude chilling park” sign was a prank but now it’s become an art installation endorsed by the city. No one I know calls it Guelph Park anymore lol, it’s Dude Chilling Park to everyone. Great Pokémon Go spot apparently.
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Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
'Dude' might have once been a gendered term, but it's pretty generic now. I call my daughter 'dude' and she calls me 'dude'.
Arturo De la Rosa 2 years ago
I don't trust the implication, seems to me like that is you know... their opinion.
#37
But How Many Fake Ones?
GB 2 years ago
It always gets me when I see phrases like "with real cheese" on a pizza box or other cheese-related product. The implication being that the default is fake cheese.
funkybluegirl 2 years ago
Unfortunately, at least in the U.S., the default is fake cheese.
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Theresa Stephenson 2 years ago
These bars are made with natural ingredients and artificial or processed foods and usually only have a few ingredients in them.
Riley Quinn 2 years ago (edited)
It's rarely the real ingredients that give us pause. It's the ones that look like they're misspelled and made up causing us to scratch our heads .
Stephanie A Mutti 2 years ago
"Natural flavoring" always bothers me. Certainly we'd expect things to taste like the flavor they naturally carry. I understand it means "stuff that falls in during the processing that we the manufacturer can't control" but "natural flavoring" is a kinder way to say it.
Load More Replies... #38
With The Price Of Gas These Days, He’s Not Wrong
David 2 years ago
11 PHP is currently 20 cents in USD. Public jeepneys like this one are basically their bus system. (though larger cities have some full sized buses). The rate has a base rate but costs more if you are going farther. Mostly though it's base rate. AFAIK it is not government subsidized or anything yet rates have stayed surprisingly the same since forever. I can recall it being about 10 pesos back in the 1980s. Back then that was 10 or 20 cents depending on when I was there due to changes in the exchange rate. TLDR: 11 PHP is about a 10 percent rate hike - hence the need for a sign. Most jeepneys do not have price signs because everyone knows.
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#39
Shucks, Wouldn’t You Know It, We’re On Vacation And Only Have Our Holiday Maid With Us
David 2 years ago
I wonder if this is a mistake or not. Maid cafes are a thing (mostly in Japan) and they have to have some sort of name. So "Home Maid Cafe" could be an intentional play on words.
Bob Brooce 2 years ago
It's in Hawaii (Kihei, Maui) so there's a good chance there's an Asian influence. [goes down the rabbit hole for a bit] Started in 1960 by Joseph and Monica Kozuki, so very likely Japanese origins. Their malasadas are excellent. IIRC they only make them in the morning, to order, until the dough runs out.
Load More Replies... #40
Hope Agian Shows Up
Christof Irran 2 years ago
Isn't there a joke, kinda like that? Where the Japanese gentleman ask "Why yen go down, dollar up?" "It's because of currency fluctuations." "Well, fluct you too, white people!"
Chloe Barnes 2 years ago
HMMMMM?? Thank Come You Again? OHHHHHHHH OOPS! Thank You Come Again!!
#41
Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don't
#42
Doors Can Suffer From Significant Separation Anxiety
Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago
In any event, I hate signs that say "keep this door closed at all times". If it's closed at all times, it isn't a door, it's a wall.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
Right? It's not even an emergency exit, so why is it there at all?
Load More Replies... #43
Is It Airfryable?
Basil (they/them) 2 years ago (edited)
This is a success in my opinion. Ovenable definitely should be a word. Oven safe just doesn't have the same ring to it.
whaaaaaaaaaa 2 years ago
Oh shut up, this is how words have been invented, why shame something like this. This is how people actually talk and we use these kind of words everyday
whaaaaaaaaaa 2 years ago
*kinds Oh wait laugh at me too now for a keyboard typo. Seriously sometimes people are exaggerating
Load More Replies... #44
Issue That Domestic Cats Are Usually Much Smaller Than The Weight Limit Noted Here
K W 2 years ago
I love snow leopards. That would definitely be my big cat choice.
Load More Replies... Natty Tempest 2 years ago
I can't help noticing the word 'usually'... Show me the chonker that isn't!
K W 2 years ago
The pet limit is 2 so you could get a cheetah and a lynx but not 3 clouded leopards.
Load More Replies... #45
Didn’t Know Tattoos Were Mobile Otherwise They Can Be Welded On?
BewilderedBanana 2 years ago
this one is actually funny :) some quick googling seems to indicate that it's not a real business though. pity
#46
I Hope Someone Was Fired Over This, Or Smacked Across The Knuckles With A Ruler. Honk Jesus, Honk If You Save, If You Love Jesus
Jesus, Jesus says to sliders drugs say to no yes. Say sliders say no to drugs to yes.
SynthaCybe 2 years ago (edited)
Obviously you cant read this unless you're fluent in Meth-anese
#47
Watch Your Back, Jesus
Awesome At Being Autistic 2 years ago
I think even Pope Francis is going to be all judge-y on this one.
#48
Probably A Rerun
Natty Tempest 2 years ago
But if the impatient is parked there, why charge the patience to tow it? Who am I kidding, that's how the world works... Hopefully, spelling is apparently not what the impatient patient paid by patience is here for.
Tucker Cahooter 2 years ago
Amazing that they spend all that money for a fancy sign and no one proofreads what was submitted to the signwriter. You might just as well scrawl something on cardboard and stick it on a garden stake
QuirkyKittyGirl 2 years ago
They tried that. One of the impatience ran it over!
Load More Replies... #49
Build A $1.2 Billion Cruise Ship And Save A Few Dollars By Failing To Proofread Signage For 75+ Plaques. Priceless
#50
I Wonder How That School Does In National Spelling
QuirkyKittyGirl 2 years ago
Once again, American schooling strikes again! (This is just embarrassing.)
#51
Penmanship Is So Important
Francine Oglethorpe 2 years ago
What a bargain....my demons usually cost me years of therapy, pharmaceutical and crippling anxiety.
#52
"Trespiss-Sewers" Like Connoisseurs? Or Is That Three Spas Yours?
Fat Harry 2 years ago
There are several on here that I think are deliberate. "Whoosh" to whoever added them to the list.
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S. E. in Indiana 2 years ago
That's what happens when a redneck tries to speak with a french accent.
#53
Tasty
#54
I Wonder If They Choose Or If You Have To Self-Identify
#55
Damn Autocorrect
BewilderedBanana 2 years ago
the machine is having an existential crisis, much like the person who wrote that i suspect
#56
It's Truly Amazing, The Progress They've Made In Transplants
Liz Clarke 2 years ago
To be followed by a new body which will need a lot of care for many years
#57
Those Poor Guests
#58
I Think I Need Some Help With This One
#59
That Only Complicates The Problem
#60
Ouch
Natty Tempest 2 years ago
I think they're right though... I'd need to consider the safety of others if entering the premises with a couch
#61
Sounds Great. I Get To Park Here And Eat For Free. What A Country
David Beaulieu 2 years ago
I think the worst part of this sign is the Jersey Girl logo. The text should go top to bottom, not middle up, then down.
#62
100% Of The Whole Mouth, Is This Redundant? Granted It's Early And I Haven't Had My Coffee Yet And Have A Slight Headache But Still
#63
Does Anyone Else Feel Peevish About This Post?
cookie_cat 2 years ago
s;dkfh v;asmgnogjbhposgiuypovsphnjeljvrtbugvmo xd;vjht YYYYAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!
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#65
A Very Effective Mnemonic
#66
What Language Is This?
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago (edited)
This isn't a spelling issue. The sign is in Pidgin English. And the food probably is good as hell, at least, that's the way I would bet. (Edited to add the link I forgot: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pidgin#:~:text=A%20pidgin%20%2F%CB%88p%C9%AA,often%20drawn%20from%20several%20languages.)
Jane Zimmerman 2 years ago
Why?? Obviously not an English speaker, but most likely well schooled in COOKING!!
Load More Replies... #67
Found This Gem In Rural Tennessee
#68
Let's Face It: Ice Cream Is Importanter. Also Deliciouser
Christof Irran 2 years ago
Maybe not, but certainly more economical. You save two spaces by eliminating the additional 'm' and 'o' from 'more.'
Load More Replies... #69
When You Want To Vent, You Know Who To Call
#70
Seen In Chennai (Erstwhile Madras)
The notice says in Tamil that there are job opportunities for ladies with expertise in operating photocopying machines. It's the English translation that's intriguing.
#71
Yo, Adrian (Proper Use Of Comma)
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
This is grammatically incorrect if addressing one person in Jersey. It should read, "Ya hurt?" Addressing a few people would be "youse" and addressing a crowd would be "youse guys".
#72
A Good Bit Of Yorkshire
#73
The Grammar Is Bad Enough, But The Roaming Chess Gangs Scare Me
Christof Irran 2 years ago
So, there is this chess tournament in the conference center of this hotel. Two players are taking a break in the lobby and are discussing their fortunes so far. The receptionist is p!ssed off and shouts at them: "Get out! Now! Both of you!" "Hey, get a grip. What's up? What did we do?" Spake the receptionist: "I hate chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer!"
#74
In Other Words, Anyone Who Is Between 1-20 Or 22+ Cannot Purchase Or Consume Here
Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago (edited)
No problem, I know many people who have been "21" since they were 14 for this exact reason
Christof Irran 2 years ago
This erroneous surrounding of words with quotes in an attempt to emphasize these words is so common now, that it's only a matter of time before this becomes a permanent part of the English language (like the misuse of grey/gray, like failing to employ proper preposition in connection with the dative case (where derived from the ablative), etc.).
#75
I Encountered This Fascinating Euphemism For The First Time On Our Recent Road Trip To The US. Has Anyone Else Ever Heard This Expression?
It has the quaint, bygone sound of something carried over from the Victorian period
David Beaulieu 2 years ago
This is not a typo or a mistake. This is a regional name for a toilet. Not any weirder than calling a toilet a 'bathroom' even if it has no bath.
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 year ago
It's a restroom/bathroom/toilet/water closet/baño... Where is the us was this?
#76
Judges Do Have The Power Over You
#77
Stay Get Yay
Robecca 2 years ago
This literally looks like it was written on a word doc and then printed and framed.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
I think this person hung them up in reverse order. Read from right to left, there's a logical sequence of sentiments. Read from left to right, it's a bit creepy.
Christof Irran 2 years ago
Those are the signs managers of rent-controlled apartment buildings use to get rid of introvert tenants.
#78
A Comma And An Apostrophe Would Have Really Helped Here
Serenity Now! 2 years ago
Damn. I thought he was gonna ask me for a date. He was merely profiling.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
OMG, did they tell you that? What did they say?! Tell me their exact words.
General Anaesthesia 2 years ago
Either that or it's true. Shoplifters don't usually want you to see what they're doing.
#79
Sadly, They Paid Dollar's For That Sign
Christof Irran 2 years ago
"$1.00 per letter (and/or special character) or pay only $20 for 25!" "Sold!"
#80
Spotted In A Store Window. Apparently Their Merchandise Includes Children? Is That Even Legal?
Fat Harry 2 years ago
OK, a missing apostrophe, but the lack of comma means it doesn't imply they sell children either.
Bobby 2 years ago
I feel like a commas would make it even worse. We have kids, hats, and boots
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Kelley Baltierra 2 years ago
I could understand that caption if it said 'kids, hats, and boots' but I think you might need a little grammar lesson yourself
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
Ok, it's bad enough that people aren't using the Oxford comma, but now we're just not using commas at all?
#81
Not The Festive Spirit I Was Expecting From Woolworths
cookie_cat 2 years ago
Wait, so they're saying that there's a designated place for you to f**k up your online order??
Christof Irran 2 years ago
Woolworths?! It really surprises me that anyone at Woolworths may have had a working comprehension of the concept "online order."
#82
I Am Wondering Whether The Attendant Has Had Too Many Alcoholic Beverages
#83
Presumably, These Grow In Bushes?
Chocolate llama 2 years ago
pretty sure the first condoms were indeed all natural...but do we still want that today?
#84
"To Bad" Must Be On The "Highway To Hell"
Christof Irran 2 years ago
They're from Alberta. Maybe they were drinking to "Bad" - the seventh studio album by Michael Jackson?
#85
Why Are Racists So Bad At English?
Verena 2 years ago
So anybody speaking proper English is not an immigrant? Does this rule of being able to read and understand the local language apply for all countries?
Bryan W. 2 years ago
No one ever accuses these people of having the critical thinking skills needed to get that far with the logic.
Load More Replies... cookie_cat 2 years ago
I F**KING HATE THIS THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING AN IMMIGRANT!! sdjf;gklbns;vkdf[obielfkbnwe;fbhskfjgbtiusifjb *sry my friend's grandmother immigrated to the U.S. a really long time ago and still doesn't have her papers* And that's why I more-than-mildly dislike racist things like that. Just goes to show how idiotic the f*cking government is here...
Christof Irran 2 years ago
I am an immigrant (to the U.S.) and I can not only read it but also spot the grammatical error.
#86
Ronnie Must Work Here
Tucker Cahooter 2 years ago
That sketch was written by Ronnie Barker himself. He used to write under the pseudonym Gerard Wiley so that every sketch he submitted would be assessed on its merits rather than selected because of him
Mint Sauce 2 years ago
Brits will understand this one. Google The Two Ronnies, Fork Handles......
#87
Segregation Is Still A Thing In The Midlands
Christof Irran 2 years ago
Reminds me of the South Park(c) Ginger Uprising. Southpark-...383a18.jpg 
#88
I Came Across This Sign Today And Still Can’t Quite Understand What They Are Saying. Any Ideas? Do They Want Tourists? Are The Bears Eating Tourists?
#89
So Nice Of Them To Send Kids To Do Our Sewing And First Aid At The Airbnb Unit
#90
I Always Thought That All Clocks Were Time Clocks. By The Look Of The Merchandise, I Guess I Was Wrong
Bobby 2 years ago
I was curious what the formal definition of a clock is, mostly to see if there are that measure something other than time or a relationship to time. There aren't. I did learn however that in horology a clock is a device that measures time and strikes the hour. A device that doesn't is called a time piece
Christof Irran 2 years ago
Nope, "Time Clock" is a proper term in the English language, and it is distinct from a clock in that it has its function in industry, measuring a laborer's attendance by having him "clock-in" at the beginning of a shift and "clock-out" at its end.
#91
Inconvenience Indeed
#92
Just Noticing This After Using This For Two Years. A Simple Typo, But Still
BewilderedBanana 2 years ago
Not sure if it's a typo or just a very weird 'i'... i've seen script fonts with funny shaped letters that only make sense at the beginning of a word, if the rest of the word is in lower case
#94
Ah, I Can Take My Time Here. I Love To Indulge In Long Baths
#95
Possible Uses Of A Monocular
Christof Irran 2 years ago
"Not just for your cigars anymore! Keep your horse moist Raching!" Raching-64...c4e312.jpg 
#96
Proofreading Fail. Cutains?
#97
Well The Words Appear To Be English But The Manner In Which They Are Assembled Is Incomprehensible
SynthaCybe 2 years ago
yep, and adds a nice level of unnerving uncertainty, maybe...
Load More Replies... Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
I think I see. Don't engage the bolt lock until you've shut the door fully, or the door may bounce back and injure you.
#98
This Sign Caught My Eye Today And My Immediate Thought Was "Wow, Are They Making Smart (I.e. Automated) Shoes Now?"
Natty Tempest 2 years ago
They count your steps, self-tighten, transmit WiFi in a twenty foot range and have a poison dart loaded in each... What was that? They took it out? Aw man... OK, turns out they don't do Wi-Fi anymore.
#99
What Fresh Hell Is This?
setsuriseikou 2 years ago
No, but they dropped them and the L's broke into l _'s
Load More Replies... #100
Lay Eggs?
Robert T 2 years ago
Prefectly correct English. It is also unlikely that hens (it's a farm) or snakes can read the sign.
Susan Harrie 2 years ago
This is not correct English. Correct English would state "Do not LIE here".
Load More Replies... #101
On A Walk In Spring Hill, I Encountered This Gem. I Felt Slightly Dumber For Having Read It
Tucker Cahooter 2 years ago
Ok, spelling isn't that person's forte, but at least they haven't paid a swag of dollars to a professional signwriter to have an illiterate sign made like so many of the other ones on this list
Little L 2 years ago
Yeah but if you think that word is spelled like that you're not that smart.
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#102
That Arrangement Works
#103
So Close
Robert T 2 years ago (edited)
That would be the correct singular form if there were only one premise.
HurlWurk 2 years ago
No, premises is not plural when talking about locations. S**t like this is why English can be hard.
Load More Replies... #104
He Parked So Close That He Knocked Off An O
Anne Jones 2 years ago
Too close to the fence…. Easy way to remember is “the two men were too close to the edge of the cliff”.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
I love English mnemonics. Don't lose the loose change in your pocket.
Load More Replies... #105
Buried Fiber Optic Cable GF
#106
You Probably Think This Sign Is About You
USMCFelicia 2 years ago
Good, you don't want them thinking they're prettier than other shrimp.
#107
I Wonder If Gerogia Is Near Georgia?
#108
I Want To See A Floopervisor. There Is No Reason I Can't Have My Poofs
Shifty McFlea 2 years ago
You can see the tips of the “R”s if you zoom in. This is a normal sign where someone poorly photoshopped over the “R”s.
JL 2 years ago
More likely the sign was vandalized and pieces of the letters were chipped off.
Load More Replies... Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago
"No poof access" will get you slapped with a writ for discrimination
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
Wait...1st floor, no poor access? No poop access? WTF did this actually say?
#109
Oh Really, Then Why Do Mine Seem To Not Care And Just Getting Out Bed I Need To Warm Up And Stretch For Fear I'm Going To Pull A Big One
#110
Found This Sign At A Local Shopping Center. I Guess If You Park And Go Shopping, They Will Tow Your Car. We Decided To Shop Elsewhere
Christof Irran 2 years ago
Not only that, the maker of the sign assume that there may be a single owner (as opposed to owners') with multiple vehicles left unattended.
#111
Paper Toilets Sound Like A Really Bad Idea
#112
This Company In Australia Couldn’t Decide Which Spelling Of Barbecue To Use So It’s Covering All Bases
Robert T 2 years ago
At least they didn't use "barber queue", though they might for a cut price deal. ;-)
Christof Irran 2 years ago
Well, "Barbeque" has 69% Australian ingredients whereas "Barbecue" has only 60%, but more sugar, no?
#113
Where Am I Supposed To Park My Chipotle?
USMCFelicia 2 years ago
I have no idea what this sign is trying to say? Ideas/thoughts welcome
Bryan W. 2 years ago
Probably a store's lot next to or near a Chipotle (restaurant chain in the US) and they don't want Chipotle customers filling up their lot.
Load More Replies... #114
Do What Now?
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
🎶Which one of these words don't you understand? Oh, caught in a mosh.🎵
#115
My Favorite Christmas Coffee Cup
#116
My Goose Is Not Silly
#117
Where You At?
S. E. in Indiana 2 years ago
I will bet it's the food their eating that males them shits a chord.
Christof Irran 2 years ago
Almost SAC (shat a chord) when reading this. Almost PML (pissed myself laughing).
#118
I Spotted This Sign This Morning In Walgreens As I Was Struggling To Pick Up My Daughter’s Pain Medication
S. E. in Indiana 2 years ago
So, the pharmacist is handing out covid 19? Wonder how much my insurance will pay for that?
#119
What Do They Quote?
Robert T 2 years ago
"Life is like a box of chocolates" and "You're only supposed to blow the bl**dy doors off". Can I be served now?
freakingbee (they/them) 2 years ago
no you have to put the quoters themselves in
Load More Replies... #120
This Happens To Me A Lot
#121
When Sad Metropolitan Copywriters Try To Write Geordie
Natty Tempest 2 years ago
If only there were a song we could hum to remind us (why aye man)
Load More Replies... #122
That Doesn't Sound Very Tasty
#123
This Doesn't Look Right To Me
S. E. in Indiana 2 years ago
Do you see the other sign under the awning? They get their meat from a driving school. Those must be some tough instructors.
#124
Driving Through Hope, AZ
#126
Sitting At A Stoplight I Spotted This. It Took Me A Minute To Understand What They Were Advertising, But I Decided Against Eating The Chicken
Christof Irran 2 years ago
They seem to still be waiting for an airdrop of W's and L's. And perhaps any spare A and E.
#127
I Stumbled Upon This Claim Yesterday, For Some Reason I Cannot Quite Define. Can Something Actually Be Designed To Be Authentic? Isn't That Contradictory?
#128
Just Found This On My Door. Not Interested In Whatever It Is. I Do Want To Know If One Can Prequalify For Something That Is Active
#129
Lost In Translation
#130
CBS Needs A Better Spellchecker
Chi Pm 2 years ago
She visibly showed off a baby bulge during the performance, and immediately after the show ended issued a press release announcing (or as CBS would say, accouncing) that she was pregnant.
Load More Replies... #131
This Sign
#133
Sigh
Christof Irran 2 years ago
Came across this little treasure: "[...] Melbourne is on roughly the same latitude as Athens" (https://www.we-love-melbourne.net/weather-melbourne.html) - No, it is not! There is a very big difference between 37° South and 37° North! Approximately the same (angular) distance from the equator as Athens? Sure, but come on.
#134
Ecuador Ice Cream Shop
#135
From CNN To Local News Shows, There Are Always Typos Like These. Spell Check Doesn't Fix Everything
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 year ago
Idk what is wrong with " huge tree topples onto vehicles in Vancouver".... Anyone?
Natty Tempest 2 years ago
After the teacher's strike, we had a lighting strike... They were dark days but darker nights!
#136
I Take Delight In Garbled English On Clothing, As I Assume People Who Can Read Chinese Do At Tattoos Sported By People Who Can Not
I have a load of photos to share if there's interest in them, let me know, but here's the one I love best, beyond absurdity: keep calm and love bulldog. What were they thinking?
Christof Irran 2 years ago
"Keep Clam" has been a trademarked advertising slogan of Ivar's Seafood Restaurant(s) in Seattle since the early 1980's. 00ivarskee...dd3656.jpg 
#137
I Was Heading To Buy More Hayfever Tablets... Until An Ad Suggested That Not Taking Any Would Be Better
#138
Finally, A Radio Station The Whole Fanily Can Listen To Together
#139
So What Do You Do?
#140
A Beautiful Display At The Checkout Counter In A Portland Maine Restaurant
Anne Jones 2 years ago
You can buy lovely jewellery made from sea glass. This photo isn’t it… https://www.georgiamariejewellery.co.uk/sea-glass
#142
Just Saw In Miami
Christof Irran 2 years ago
I often wonder whether (male) employees Florida law enforcement agencies are all specimen of "Florida Man" Florida-Ma...4b2ed9.jpg 
#143
This Is The Inner Label Of My Two Good Yogurt This Morning. I Can’t Decide Whether They Did It On Purpose To Make A Point About No Judgment Or If It Was An Editing Error
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 year ago
Also they market heavily on feeding other people but they only donate a fraction of profits.
Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago
Judgement is correct in British English, but that would make yogurt wrong. Caught between two stools.
Liz Clarke 2 years ago
Maybe it's Canadian? They use a mixture of British and American spellings
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#145
5 Star Auto Sales
#146
I Would Have Rotated The Letter R 90°
#148
Ice Creams? Am I Missing Something?
Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago
Ice cream is a mass of ice cream, but ice creams are multiple single servings of ice cream. Captain Tryhard at work there.
#149
I Was In An Office Building Today And Saw This. It Made Me Think: Doesn't "Uni" Mean One? Would The Sign Be More Accurate To Say "Multi" Or Something?
BewilderedBanana 2 years ago
unisex clothes are meant to be worn by males or females, so this makes sense in principle
Natty Tempest 2 years ago
Unisex toilet. A toilet that is for both, all, whatever gender. And if you identify as a wheelchair-riding emaciated midget
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
The 'uni' part means 'universal', not 'one'. It's a made up word that is etymologically incorrect, but we all know what it means. Technically, it should be 'omnisex'.
Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago (edited)
I'm more worried about the poor little kid in the wheelchair
#150
Thick & Durable
"Durable" implies something that will sustain continuous and/or lengthy use. Aluminum foil is typically only used once. In this case, I used it to line a sheet pan for oven bacon, and after the bacon was done, I threw the foil away. I would think a better word than "durable" would be "strong".
Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago
Durable can also mean resistant to damage. Another swing and a miss for Captain Tryhard.
Debby Keir 2 years ago
Durable not only means 'hard wearing' it also means that it will last for as long as it's used. Thinner stuff tears too easily. More to the point is 'Aluminum' - it's aluminium to the rest of the worls.....
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What do you think ?
Verena 2 years ago
Okay, mocking people who do their best to help native English (US/UK) speakers out, visiting a foreign country, because they refuse to learn any other language "because everybody speaks English and it better be perfect, you stupid foreigners". If you complain about my English, better you learn to speak my language perfectly, first.
Crouching hippo hidden panda 2 years ago
Sadly I bet most of these were done by native speakers
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Brendan (banned for downvotes) 2 years ago
Many of these were jokes; just a play on words. So they're actually clever.
Noname 2 years ago
Omg, when I speak French, I think I sound like most of these posts for the errors. My kid tells me that when I apologize for not speaking French properly in French, I don't say it correctly, and while I'm learning, my mistakes in apologizing prove my point- I don't speak French very well!
Verena 2 years ago
Okay, mocking people who do their best to help native English (US/UK) speakers out, visiting a foreign country, because they refuse to learn any other language "because everybody speaks English and it better be perfect, you stupid foreigners". If you complain about my English, better you learn to speak my language perfectly, first.
Crouching hippo hidden panda 2 years ago
Sadly I bet most of these were done by native speakers
Load More Replies... Brendan (banned for downvotes) 2 years ago
Many of these were jokes; just a play on words. So they're actually clever.
Noname 2 years ago
Omg, when I speak French, I think I sound like most of these posts for the errors. My kid tells me that when I apologize for not speaking French properly in French, I don't say it correctly, and while I'm learning, my mistakes in apologizing prove my point- I don't speak French very well!
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