"Congrats on avoiding becoming a crazy cat lady."

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"Congrats on finding another weirdo to complement all your oddities and quirks!"

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"Congratulations! I’m 90% happiness, 10% tears and 100% up for an open bar at your wedding."

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"Never again laugh at your fiance’s choices, because you are one of them!"

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"Never forget these two powerful sentences that can spell the difference between war and peace. Those are "You’re right, dear" and "Okay, buy it"."

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"You’re guaranteed a ring and a life partner, but if you do your wedding registry right, you could also get a brand-new washing machine!"

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"Getting married is like being in drama school. You get to practice everything from comedy to melodrama to tragedy."

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"I have pictures. You know the ones. Leave a bag of money at my doorstep by 6:30 am. But seriously, congratulations on your engagement!"

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"Your kids grow up and move out. Your husband never does. Just saying."

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"He liked it. So he put a ring on it. Congratulations!"

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"I don’t know how you managed to find such a good person with our upbringing!"

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"You are really lucky, as you got an opportunity to choose your prison."

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"Spending time with friends will now be a distant memory."

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"Fiancé? Fiancée? Either way, this calls for a parté!"

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"Congratulations on getting engaged! Next up: the joy of the wedding registry."

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"Thank you for kicking off a stream of great parties: engagement, bachelorette, wedding and anniversary. Congratulations!"

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"You two are engaged? That must mean we’re officially old! Congratulations anyway!"

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"You don’t fall in love with someone for their looks, their bank account or their job. You fall in love with them for their ability to whip up an amazing breakfast. Here’s to a lifetime of great mornings!"

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"They say travelling together is the ultimate test of a relationship. Now that you're officially tying the knot and heading off on a honeymoon together, you better be really sure about this one! Congrats on getting engaged!"

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"Congratulations on your catch. Now don’t drop them!"

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"You have a new boss now."

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"Just engaged, my uncle told me I should learn how to cook and wash clothes before marriage."

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"I know a good travel agent if you change your mind? If not, have a wonderful wedding!"

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"Congratulations on convincing yourself to settle down. May the crazy days start!"

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"Welcome to the world of emotional psychodrama, enjoy being a participant of this session. May God bless you, dear."

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"Thank you for giving me an excuse to pop the champagne. Congratulations on your engagement!"

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"Marriage is the alliance of two people: one who never remembers birthdays, and one who never forgets them. See, you’re perfect together!"

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"Anyone can catch your eye, but it took someone this weird and cute to catch your heart. Congratulations on your engagement!"

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"I’m so happy for you both! You’ve found that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your lives. Congratulations!"

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"It looks like you guys are getting serious!"

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"Engaged is a synonym for busy. Now you can officially ward off your friends and family from disturbing you because you are ‘engaged.’ Congratulations on your engagement."

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"There are two types of couples. The first type is the couple who fights and argues after getting engaged. The second type… is yet to be discovered."

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"I’m so happy for you and your new ring. I mean, fiancé!"

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"The secret of a happy marriage remains… a secret."

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"Good thing you got him to propose before he realized what a weirdo you are... nice move. Congrats on your engagement!"

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"Another one taken into the abyss of married life. It's getting lonely here in Singleville. Congrats!"

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"The secret to a happy marriage is made up of three things: love, compromise, and something else that I've yet to figure out. If you find out let me know! Good luck!"

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"When you told us you were seeing someone we thought you were joking. Now you’re engaged, congratulations!"

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"Wow. Honestly, this whole time I thought they were imaginary. Congratulations on your engagement!"

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"Well done, you won the bet. I owe you a fiver."

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"I never thought anyone with a sense of smell would go near you, and yet, here we are!"

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"Marriages are hard; they sometimes clash with the decor."

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"Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband."

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"You two are a match made in heaven, just like thunder and lightning!"

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"I’m so proud of you both for choosing to get married out of love and not an unexpected pregnancy."

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"Don’t build furniture together if you want this to last!"

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"Don't worry, 90% of the marriage will go by saying "WHAT" from another room and am sure you got this!"

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"Congratulations on getting engaged to such a beautiful person! Thank you for bringing an absolutely amazing friend to us, now we can finally get rid of you!"

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"Congratulations, my dear friend! It is like a beautiful entry into a maze with no exit. You have to enjoy every bit of the turns even if there is no end."

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"Best of luck for your lifetime suffering. Have peace with each other. Congratulations!"

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"I’m so happy that you two awesome nerds found each other. Can’t wait for your wedding!"

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"Congratulations, you two! I can’t wait to ugly-cry at your wedding."

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"I hate you because you both look perfect together… making all other couples look dull and boring."

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"Now that you are engaged, you have new responsibilities, new commitments, and best of all, a new boss. Congratulations for getting the new job of a fiancé."

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"I’m 90 percent happy for you and 10 percent jealous. Congrats on your engagement!"

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"Who cares about your engagement? I can’t wait to go shopping for your wedding gown with you as your bridesmaid. Congratulations."

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"I am happy that you finally got engaged because I was never expecting that you will ever find a girl. Congratulations anyways."

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"Engagement advice: make sure the ring is really tight so it can never be taken off!"

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"Engagement marks the apex of a relationship’s love and happiness. It’s all downhill from here. Congratulations."

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"Can I be honest? I never expected this in college! Congratulations on your engagement!"

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"I’m impressed that you found someone, and I’m impressed that they’re patient enough to be with you! Congratulations on your engagement!"

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"I’m glad we didn’t have to marry when we turned thirty. Truthfully, I can’t stand you! Congratulations on your engagement!"

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"Ever since you were young, we thought you’d be single forever. Congratulations on your engagement!"

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"Remember the time we… and now look at you! Who would’ve thought you’d find someone! Congratulations on your engagement!"

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"I saw Dad handing Mum some money so I’m pretty sure they’d betted on us. Anyway, congratulations on your engagement!"

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"You’re now engaged. I should be phased, but by the amount you’ve aged... wait, is this wedding staged!?"

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"We thought they weren’t real, so I’m glad you’ve managed to seal the deal!"

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"I hope you haven’t told them too much. Congratulations on your engagement!"

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"Say goodbye to your social life."

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"May you frustrate your partner forever."

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"I can’t believe I have to share my best friend with their new spouse. At least you’re perfect for each other! Congratulations!"

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"Congratulations and best of luck on continuing to ignore the little annoying things."

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"You will have moments when you really love each other… then there will be the rest of the time!"

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"The day he got your Elephant-Ant joke, I knew this was real! Congratulations on finding a man as weird as you."

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"If you were dying to cook for someone your whole life, you could have just come to me!"

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"You are so excited to make your partner happy and loved always. Then you will find out that you did nothing but annoy each other instead. Congratulations!"

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"There’s no way to guarantee a lifetime of happiness, but that gorgeous ring is a great start. Congrats!"

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"Thank you both for removing yourselves from the dating pool. You were tilting the averages with your good looks."

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"Engagement is just the first of three rings: the engagement ring, the wedding ring and the feathering… of the nest with all your wedding gifts. Congratulations!"

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"Pop the bubbly — you’re getting a hubby! I’m so happy for you both!"

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"The bachelor brigade has lost one of their own. Congratulations to you buddy, but we are mourning the loss of a fallen soldier."

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"Marriage is the world’s oldest workshop: the husband works while the wife shops."

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"Weddings are always a drag, but I'm sure you guys will find a way to make it interesting. I mean, an open bar is the least you could do. Congrats!"

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"I'm about 75% happy for you, and 25% worried for your fiancé(e)… congrats on your engagement!"

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"I take it you guys are getting pretty serious then? Congrats you two!"

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"Few people know this, but being engaged is the perfect excuse to get out of anything. Anything you don't feel like doing, just say you're "engaged" and poof! problem solved. Use this power wisely, and congrats!"

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"I can't believe it! We never thought this day would come! You?! Engaged?! Insanity. But anyway, congrats!"

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"My sincere congratulations on finally getting first dibs by default to annoy your partner for the rest of your life!"

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"You're about to spend a lot of money making a huge public scene about how much you guys love each other. I hope you're sure about his one. Congrats!"

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"Congratulations! Pass this card to your fiancé(e) a moment, please? You don’t need to do this. You’re allowed to say “no”. Now laugh and burn this card. Tell him I said something sweet."

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"It’s your engagement! Honestly, I’m filled with amazement. It’s about time. Congratulations on your arrangement!"

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"I will pass on some of my wisdom to you my friend: the most important four words for a successful marriage: "I’ll do the dishes"."

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"Your life had always been a rollercoaster and now am glad you have someone to scream along with you. Congrats bro!"

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"What do fun with the boys, out on the town, and parties have in common? Three things you won’t be doing after the wedding. Good luck."

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