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Reviews are a great way to share honest opinions about a product or service and guide others on whether or not it’s worth their interest. But with a lot of online reviews spots open to anyone with an email address and an internet connection, it begs the question of how helpful some written reviews can be.

In fact, if you dive deeper, you’ll find all sorts of bizarre and ridiculous reasons for both great and terrible feedback. And some business owners even go as far as fighting back against their naysayers, resulting in some unprofessional but hilarious responses.

In a viral tweet, @therimaahmed highlighted some of the best examples of review drama found online. There are restaurant reviews that don’t even talk about the food, absurd facts shared by visitors, and plenty of feisty replies to boot as well. Check them out below and rate the best ones.

#1

Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

adhamhocaoimh Report

HempFairy
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i admire Jimothy's patience and focus... i mean, wait 8 bloody years to beautifully screw somebody? That takes a certain kind of mind.

Luis F
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It would be incredible funny if Andrew just saw the five stars said “great” and ignored everything else

Vicky Z
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You cannot ignore everything!! I mean the pizza is good and he might be hungry when he reads it!

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Night Owl
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok, but did the 8-year-old like the pizza too?

Be Ha
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But maybe Andrew doesn't like kids and don't even have to pay for his... 🤷🏻‍♂️

Thomas Sweda
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does that mean the guy is still delivering Pizza?

WildBerry
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why does Jimothy think that Andrew ever wanted to be a father in the first place? Since it would seem that Andrew didn't overtly pursue Jimothy's wife and try to make her leave Jimothy, it seems to me that all Andrew wanted was to lay Jimothy's wife. (fixed thanks to SentimentAndBadJokes)

Whitney Gal
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Right?? There’s at least a 50% chance that Andrew was perfectly happy not to be a father.

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lil_gremlin
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*insert long rant about wife's affair* "Oh btw, the pizza was good" also the name: Jimothy. Jimothy. J I M O T H Y ,

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Google has really branched out since it was first founded over twenty years ago. Starting off as a way to locate websites in the early days of the web, it's now able to search for anything and everything that you can think of. It’s hard to imagine how we go without it nowadays. 

For example, let’s say you’re looking for a fine restaurant to dine out at. In the pre-Google days, you might need to read reviews in the local paper, check the phone book for their number, and maybe even check a map if you’re unfamiliar with the address. Now, we get all this and much, much more in just a few clicks.

RELATED:
    #2

    Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

    rubyskyeruby Report

    BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I really thought the restaurant was terrible after the first review. They were thorough.

    DarkAngelNic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If they really do it all the time at restaurants they must be really good at spinning a narrative by now.

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    Reynard
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My ex-father-in-law did this at every restaurant. He'd make up things or greatly exaggerate flaws in an attempt to get a discount or gift cards. It got to a point that I refused to dine out with him because it was so embarassing. The last straw was when we went to a place that I frequented; everything was nearly perfect. I know the staff well, great folks, and I was horrified at how he acted in front of these people with whom I have a good relationship. Decent people don't pull scams.

    BasedWang
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can tell that the reviewer was an absolute asshat. They ate the food, why the hell do you feel you DESERVE a discount. Even if the experience was terrible, they really don't owe you anything

    Mandy Renn
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Our party consisted of a female and three people..." WTF?! Throw away the key.

    WildBerry
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I believe the person was attempting to focus on age since the remainder of the sentence had to do with the age of the 3 others....obviously older than the female (person).

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    Samantha Lomb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like how he subtly implies women aren't people too. What a loon

    WildBerry
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, the person simply worded it poorly. He/she was attempting to point out the older age of the 3 people compared to the female person. The full sentence is : "To clarify, our party consisted of a female and 3 people aged 75 to 81." He/she is trying to point out that they were not about to run away due to their age to avoid paying the bill and so the manager had no reason to lock them in.

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    Night Owl
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Assuming the owner is right, the reviewer has a great imagination and a lot of time (and is evil)

    Suz66
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don’t know why they are attacking you. I’m not a teen but the original reviewer is the one being a child!

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    Id row
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know if I'd ever eat at a restaurant that served a 'salad' that way to begin with. My expectations would be incredibly low after that.

    Chloe *Leah* Pheonix
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I went from holy cow to wow I didnt know Lie-la Rossi joined us

    Sarah Berkner
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm inclined to believe the owner, I was thinking the reviewer sounded demanding. If they are refusing to pay why should they be allowed to leave? Just ask for a discount but if the restaurant doesn't give you a discount you're required to pay your bill!

    Michael Hoven
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i think they should just eat at home, looks like they can only complain

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    Hey, we’re not trying to shill Google here, we’re just explaining the facts. Google is the world’s largest and most influential search engine, and it’s able to draw in all kinds of information about the world around us. We depend on it so much, especially over the lockdowns and restrictions in recent years.

    With everyone being connected 24/7, we can get what we're after so quickly and easily. This also means that businesses can get their products or services into the hands of others with the same amount of ease. The online market is arguably the most important one in today’s era of connectedness and business reviews are just one part of this, albeit an important one.

    #3

    Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

    jonbaker1968 Report

    Night Owl
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Revenge is best served on a plate and with Stephanie as the waitress

    Valisbourne Spiritforge
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Was surprised to find out there are actually ocean catfish (Hardhead Catfish). I typically think of a catfish as a freshwater fish.

    Chris Freeman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, but cajun style catfish are the freshwater species, farm raised. OP should take his revenge, but maybe start whacking ocean dwelling critters. A can of tuna could be a start.

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    Izzy Curer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do catfish even live in the ocean?

    Raven DeathShade
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Last I checked, they're freshwater fish (I'm currently in the process of researching to see if I want a glass catfish for my tropical freshwater aquarium).

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    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is the same mentality which is causing the shark massacre. Be thankful the natural world holds no revenge

    Luis F
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These Jaws movies are just getting ridiculous at this point

    Jo Johannsen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, that came out of left field. 😁

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    #4

    Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

    epweinbe Report

    Night Owl
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Monica is a witch /jk

    Ray Martin
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Translation - Lily Worthington-Rowe is a professional fraud and was upset by Monica, who was absolutely not taking any of her sh!t.

    K Killian
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    G*d D@##!t, Monica!!! Just once, could you not whip your dark energy out for every customer that comes through the door?!

    Monica A. M.
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope... flinging that sh*t around like monkeys flinging poo at the zoo.... coming in hot......

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    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Could they stop bashing Monica? She is only there to recruit minions for the dark side.

    Nora12
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know want this gal to meet that odd bead store owner and see what energy both of them get from each other.

    HempFairy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Assaulted" by somebody else's energy! i m using that from now on.

    Betty Swallocks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Monica had a bad case of wind after last night's prawn curry.

    Its Me
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Quit the literature club

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    Getting to the top of Google’s results (with glowing reviews) is now a goal that many businesses want to achieve. It helps to fuel their success and, in turn, drive profit. Online reviews are tantamount to customers' decisions in parting with their hard-earned cash.

    In fact, a survey on how they affect customers was completed by BrightLocal — a company that helps businesses to rank higher on online searches. BrightLocal’s 2020 survey found that 87% of consumers read online reviews for businesses before their visit. 34% of that number state that they almost always check reviews before visiting.

    #5

    Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

    xGFiend_ Report

    Samantha Lomb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What kind of soulless monster doesn't enjoy swarms of butterflies? I've been to butterfly houses before, last time to Hershey with my mom and it was a magical experience.

    Max
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a massive phobia of butterflies and moths, which I discovered after my parents forced me to go into a butterfly house at the age of 11. Nothing quite cements a fear like a dinnerplate-sized moth.

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    lol idk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    its called a butterfly farm. its like going to pizza hut expecting waffles.

    Daniel Atkins
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    why would you go to the butterfly house and expect snacks?

    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What an idiot! Butterflies are up there with bees ! Love 'em.

    Samantha Lomb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would be less enthused about being covered in a swam of bees

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    tuzdayschild
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey I know, I'll review a roller coaster: it moves much too fast and goes up way to high. Plus, I had to wait in line just to get on. See! Anyone can give something a negative review for being exactly what it is, it's easy.

    Raven DeathShade
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Have you ever gone on the Fury 325? It goes 325 feet in the air, drops nearly straight down for 320 of those feet, and goes up to 95 miles an hour.

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    Id row
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait, they're complaining about butterflies - at a butterfly farm?

    Vee Dub
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Awful review if you don't enjoy wrong plurals ("butterfly's) ...

    Ana Ferreira
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why, why, why would you go to a butterfly farm if you don't like butterflies? What exactly were they expecting?

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's a whole new level of stupid. What will be next? Too many old paintings at the Louvre? Too much Catholicism at Notre Dame ? Too many squirrels in Central Park? Are the Niagara Falls too wet?

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    #6

    Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

    therimaahmed Report

    Mohsie Supposie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jackie Censored from Censored Nails!

    Whitney Gal
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just love that the OP went to a nail salon for the sole purpose of getting the details behind the reviews.

    Legen ( wait for it ) dary
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My Dr received a phone call asking if he want, let's say 10 review of 5 stars, he have to pay 100 Euro. He said no, and after a while he got like 5 bad reviews with things that not even made sense and all at the same day.

    Gini Sarver
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    omg! there are enough *nails* for multiple nail salons, if they’re having to bash a competitor then you know they’re obviously 💩 work on 💅🏻

    Sarah Berkner
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe it's actually a complex publicity scheme by the salon. Probably not though.

    WhatEvenIsLife
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can get sued for defamation for posting a bad review for a business to which you've never been. A lot of people do this, but using reviews as a form of revenge or harassment is riskier than they think.

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    Another takeaway from BrightLocal’s survey shows that only 48% of consumers would consider using a business with less than a 4-star rating. Whilst 4-stars means generally good reviews, less than that could mean there’s room for improvement. 12% of people in the survey were so critical that they wouldn’t even use a business with less than 5-star reviews.

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    #7

    Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

    TheSqish Report

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Heydrich was a Nazi responsible for a lot of atrocities who got wounded in an assassination and died of his wounds in the Bulovka Hospital. He was one of the evil minds behind the "final solution to the Jewish question".

    Random Person
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is it just me or does Nicholas's profile pic look like Sco Mo?

    Jo Johannsen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This confuses me, 5 stars but disappointed?

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not disappointed. Only one satisfaction, but a great one : the guy who organized the Jewish genocide died there after a terror attack.

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    Sarah Berkner
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe they mean that's the only reason they're giving it 5 stars and otherwise they're neutral.

    Eglė Bukauskaitė
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hospitals are not exactly known for "satifactional" stay

    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well that’s one positive, except knowing that need not included an overnight stay

    Mars Lander
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Watch Anthropoid... really good

    Gini Sarver
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    😢 what this person did to h jewish 🥺

    rspanther
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like a good tourist stop.

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    #8

    Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

    KneidlachJenner Report

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is a way of paying tribute to her.

    Night Owl
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now that's an unusual reason for a five star review

    Axolotl King
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And 8 people found that helpful...?

    #9

    Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

    _Dave_Smith Report

    SoozeeQ
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What a great name for a pizza joint!

    Daniel (ShadowDrakken)
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We have an equally great one here; Weirdough Pizza. They make excellent artisan pizza too! :D

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    Night Owl
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My new favorite insult: "you absolute troll"

    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Take away: Pick a personality and stick with it before putting your reviews online

    BrightLocal’s survey confirms that those shiny gold stars influence us most — they were noted as the top factor in our decision-making. Other factors included the legitimacy, recency, sentiment, and quantity of the reviews. People also noted whether or not businesses responded to reviews as well, with 20% of reviewers in the survey expecting a response from the owners within a business day.

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    #10

    Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

    15Deloreans Report

    Pearl
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ahh. Again with the "literally". I would love to see how someone could figuratively find a dead body in the parking lot. Funny review though

    Sheila Harper
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    INFORMAL .... literally used for emphasis or to express strong feeling while not being literally true.

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    Kaleb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You'd better hope that he didn't die from a bad taco

    Beverly
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thank God! Someone who knows the difference between "lie" and "lay"!

    BasedWang
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey, that has nothing to do with the buisness

    SentimentAndBadJokes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How about the owners who didn't notice the corpse outside the business?

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    Whitney Gal
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait…what’s in those tacos?

    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait so how is this the fault of the laundry mat?? It’s the closest business so they are at fault?? I would understand that if you found a dead body in the washing machine or the dryer or inside the locked door but yeah no

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    #11

    Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

    shiny_swablu Report

    Pearl
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You suck, don't come back.

    WildBerry
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I remember you! LOL Too funny.

    Id row
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Owner sounds like a d**k, tbh.

    Sarah Berkner
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm on Christopher's side. Jon didn't even defend himself and it seems like a slightly extreme reaction to commenting that things are expensive but I wasn't there.

    Danny Phantom
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why’s “the owner” between quotes though?

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    #12

    Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

    m2zzystar Report

    Life is ?
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe it keeps evil vibes away.

    KieLeaHar
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why is HE trying to bury his friend by himself??

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    K Killian
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is Miguel a hamburger? Were you trying to bury a hamburger?

    lol idk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    why is a Groundskeeper throwing pickles at a dead person.

    BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's a good question. Why does he have a bag full of pickles?

    Me Oh My
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why were you trying to bury your friend here?

    Parmeisan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Right!? Like I don't think you're supposed to just show up to a graveyard with a shovel...

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    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does anybody else feel like they walked into the middle of a bad book? No context, no beginning, weird and you just can’t bury people wherever you want. The pickle thing, best part

    Cyndielouwhoo
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I read this to my sister and her comment : "i have so many questions..."

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    But responding to bad reviews is also tricky as no one likes to hear negative feedback or confront their critics. Whilst some of them are generally unhelpful and people like to just complain, accepting them and staying professional is part of moving past them. Although, it’s difficult to know what to say when you see reviews like the ones here. 

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    Responding to positive reviews is equally important — it shows the human side of the business that people can identify with more. Not to mention, it’s just polite to say thanks for a compliment as well. With customers leaving their reviews and potential customers seeing replies to them, it builds a great image for a business.

    #13

    Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

    spinitsideways Report

    #14

    Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

    bitsy19 Report

    Life is ?
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Buy her beads or you suck!

    Loki’s Lil Butter Knife
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yikes, the owner sounds like a downright psychopath. When you have multiple reviewers calling out your bad and nasty behaviour, maybe you need to realise that you might be the problem.

    Molly Chapman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG I know this store. IT IS THE WORST STORE IN SAN FRANCISCO. Called Surprise Party Beads Shells on Fillmore st. I really think the woman who owns it is mentally ill. She is seriously a terror / evil person. Apparently her adult child died, which may be part of the reason. I also think she must own the building cuz the rent in that place in no way would be able to be covered by the low business she gets.

    ThatOneWriter
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am so glad you said San Francisco. I'm taking my gf bead shopping in New Mexico and I was worried we might run into this lady lol

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    Jo Johannsen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where is this store, so I can avoid it.

    Molly Chapman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Surprise Party Beads Shells on Fillmore st in san franciscoo

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    BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I am an empath" are you from KOTLC because that's the only world where empathy works like that...

    Ethan Johnson
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The owner is basically a covert narcissist. That was because the owner labeled herself as an "EMPATH" in one of the responses. However, that only justified how covert the owner truly was.

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    Molly Chapman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    nah man she is hellla liberal in San Francisco. I know cuz she wont shut up about it.

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    Marcellus II
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've never heard someone use "empathic" to intend "an eye for an eye, and I move first".

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone's words vs someone else's words... Only one solution : check out by yourself and make your own opinion.

    Sarah Berkner
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do yourself a favor and look up reviews for Surprise Party in California, you will not be disappointed. Meanest Republican I've ever heard of. I promise we're not all like that.

    John Purves
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think the last owner response pretty well backs up all the poor reviews.

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    #15

    Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

    P____70 Report

    Kaleb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wanna read the wife's review

    Pearl
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well..We're glad then.

    lol idk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    that went from 0 to 100 real fast.

    K Killian
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Finally! Someone who knows what we're actually looking for in reviews!

    WildBerry
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Riding the wife'. Guess we know what position he favors then. But notice he didn't say *MY* wife. Hmmm....

    Leo Domitrix
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I skimmed it, wondering... then reread.... Oh. Well. That's.... uh.... good.

    John Purves
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The wife's review of the hotel or her review of the husband's "riding" ability?

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    It can be a balancing act to manage both the good and bad reviews, but it’s proven to be a vital part of the business. Andrew Thomas, an entrepreneur and business consultant, has a theory that there is a secret ratio behind online reviews that can help a business to thrive.

    Writing in Inc. magazine, he said: “It takes roughly 40 positive customer experiences to undo the damage of a single negative review. The ratio is derived from a combination of human behavior, math, and logic.”

    “A customer who has a negative experience is highly likely to share that experience by leaving a bad review. A customer who has a positive experience, on the other hand, is unlikely to leave a good review. In my experience, only 1 in 10 happy customers leaves a good review.” 

    #16

    Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

    a_bebop Report

    Douglas Mock
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What in God's good name does any of that mean? I think I had a stroke.

    Hugh Walter
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's let predictive text finish each sentence!

    Whitney Gal
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s a review for the Devil’s Sea (aka the Bermuda Triangle). There are quite a few good ones: https://g.co/kgs/4qttmd

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Conclusion : don't do drugs. Except hemp, it is basically harmless if you are already physically an adult.

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    #17

    Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

    codyclary Report

    Max
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair, I've heard Lyme Disease really sucks.

    Katinka Min
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It does, but who in their right mind would give a one star review to a lake because of ticks?? Ticks are everywhere. Protect yourself and search yourself after having been in the woods.

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    Watching
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damn Rebecca, there seems to be a lot of hidden anger there.

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is not funny. Lyme's disease is very painful and disabling.

    Marcellus II
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    True, but there is no such thing as an "official diagnosis" of "late stage lyme disease".

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    Izzy Curer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cody Clary is a butt for laughing at a sick woman.

    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lyme disease is horrendous. At least she cared enough to warn others

    Gini Sarver
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    🤦🏼‍♀️ wow, i am sure that lake had this all planned out, just waving around waiting for her

    Daniel (ShadowDrakken)
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Lyme Disease with treatment goes away in ~6 months, as in fully cured not just remission... if we assume her random assessment of the tick is true, she needs to be questioning her doctor's inability to diagnose properly for over 30 years.

    Jo Johannsen
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    If she didn't realize it, how does she know the tick wasn't also on vacay?

    BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    You wouldn't stay sick from a tick bite from 37 years ago

    Tiger Pearl
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes you can get Lyme disease which has no cure… I believe there are only treatments to help manage it. It’s bad too, can cause psychological problems as well.

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    Aunt Messy
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    "Chronic Lyme Disease" does not exist, except in the furthest reaches of the internet with guidelines about avoiding life by lounging around with a fake "illness".

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It does exist as searching for Chronic Lyme Disease shows in multiple hits. https://www.lymedisease.org/lyme-basics/lyme-disease/treatment/ or https://www.webmd.com/arthritis/features/chronic-lyme-disease or https://www.niaid.nih.gov/diseases-conditions/chronic-lyme-disease or https://www.lymedisease.org/lyme-basics/lyme-disease/chronic-lyme-disease/ or https://www.outdoorlife.com/deep-dives/chronic-lyme-disease-treatment-detection/

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    #18

    Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

    PukeyPuke420 Report

    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I break down in shop. I cry. Owner pat my shoulder. I stop cry. Go home. Bye.

    Bobert Robertson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    when car fixed, now your Car-go Car-go, Caro Caro

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    Leo Domitrix
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I break down. They call 911. EMT wonders wtf he's there for. So do I. Someone hands me chocolate. I feel much better.

    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So easy to please! Chocolate medicine comes in the best form when the name VENCHI is on the label. Ruined me for anything else

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    BasedWang
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    bought her drinks...... sooooo shes cheating?

    Night Owl
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wonder how the story continued here. Did Joe Lopez turn into a stalker?

    Per-Ole Sjuve
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think he ran out of full-stop punctuation marks before he could finish the story.

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    Andrew also knows the importance of star ratings. He said, “Your company or product rating (typically out of five stars) reflects an overall average of good and bad reviews. So, if your goal is to maintain an overall rating of 4-stars, you'll need four 5-star reviews to make up for every 1-star review.” 

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    “Assuming that only 1 of every 10 happy customers leaves a positive 5-star review, and knowing that it takes four 5-star reviews to make up for each 1-star review, you can figure it takes 40 positive customer experiences to make up for a single bad review.”

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    #19

    Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

    bethdotlife Report

    Watching
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    False advertising fo sho.

    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's not a strip joint in the world that advertises with girls hoding pizza. If so, then pizza has just taken on a whole new meaning.

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    Dina Simoné
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We came for pizza and stayed for two dances 😂😂😂

    K Killian
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's a travesty. What is the purpose of going to a strip club if they won't even serve you pizza? What's happening to our world?

    Sawdust
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    1 star: None of their pizzas have toppings.

    WildBerry
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sure. One lap dance for the husband. One lap dance for the wife. Two dances. :-0

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    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would be disappointed too

    Sarah Berkner
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I imagine people dancing and holding slices of pizza

    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Food+ strip bar = 🤢

    Kerri Peek
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know exactly where you stayed. That strip club used to have a brothel upstairs. They may still, I'm no longer catching the bus across from it, so I don't know.

    Kerri Peek
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know exactly where you stayed.

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    #20

    Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

    somecallmemaria Report

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Their health, their choice, now give them that f*****g salt

    Sarah Berkner
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Usually they have it on the table

    Pearl
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    John C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey, they're doing better at a 2nd language than I would be! More power to 'em. And respect for the solid dietary advice! lol

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    BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    John C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How can we be considered "woke" and rail against sexism and racism, and yet think it's ok to laugh at people for lack of education?

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    #21

    Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

    RobertFifoot Report

    Nora12
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a feeling that this review makes more sense if you know about UK politics. According to google Diane Abbott is a Labour Party Member of Parliament while Jeremy Corbin served as a leader of the Labour Party.

    Paul C.
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You are quite correct Diane Abbott is famous for being very poor at arithmetic, wearing two left shoes whilst walking round the streets and generally being as thick as pig sh1t. Whilst Jeremy Corbin was the Leader of the Labour party and a raging anti-Semite.

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    Sawdust
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ? Is Carling not a red wine? Does 'woke' work as an insult?

    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never mix food and politics

    It goes without saying but keeping customers happy results in great reviews. Andrew explained his philosophy for business owners: “When you focus on boosting customer happiness, it helps prevent the negative experiences that lead to bad reviews. And, according to the math, avoiding bad reviews is even more important than getting good reviews.” 

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    “Positive customer reviews are one of the most important factors for your success, and the surest way to get them is by providing an outstanding customer experience," he said.

    "Take the time to understand the customer review ratio, and then evaluate your product and customer service. Doing so will help you master customer satisfaction and avoid the bad reviews that are so challenging to overturn.”

    #22

    Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

    haurchy Report

    WildBerry
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They gave 2 stars for the entertainment of seeing roaches smashed right in front of them. It's not something most people see at an eatery.

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    Sawdust
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Two stars for their honesty.

    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Seems to me the health department ought to be called

    #24

    Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

    Cbv_Music Report

    Sally Appleton
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "The coffee was just warm" Well how far did your labourer have to walk to get it to you?

    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Poor Jonathan Carlton. Such a successful man and his LABOURER can't even get hot coffee. I hope everybody reads this to know that Jonathan Carlton has a LABOURER.

    WildBerry
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I actually think Jonathan is probably a foreman on a job who sent one of his workers on the job to grab him coffee..... not that Jonathan has a personal slave/assistant.

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    Ashley Dopp
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hopefully in the future we have modern appliances that enable us to quickly warm up liquids that have cooled off in transit.

    Jo Johannsen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe time for an in-office Keurig? That he can train his labourer to use?

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    And if you can’t keep customers happy, be ready to face the unhappy reviewers. So, what should you do as a business owner when you have to reply to the dreaded 1-star reviews? Hubspot, an online marketing platform, published a guide on how to respond to all kinds of reviews. Aside from providing responses to use, they outline the key points that businesses should use when writing back to customers about negative reviews. 

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    Evaluate the feedback first of all — think about what you want to say and don’t send a response loaded with emotion. A bad reply could tarnish your reputation even more if it’s on a public platform. If you can, reach out to the customer privately to make them understand that you do care. You might even be able to turn their opinion into a positive one and they walk away feeling better about the experience whilst saving your hide.

    If you’ve made mistakes in their experience, be empathetic and apologize to your customers. Find out why this happened if it wasn’t clear and try to resolve it for them. This way, you’ll know what to do if it happens to another customer in the future. You can even offer an incentive for their next visit such as a discount or even something "with compliments" (A.K.A. free). Finally, sign off the review with your name so customers know that they’re speaking to a real human, not a faceless company.

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    #25

    Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

    Khatmandont Report

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "It sucks, but my grandfather made it, so I hereby decree that you are not allowed to say it"

    SomePeopleCallMeMaurice
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “watch your mouth, Sebastian”, is my favorite new thing to say. I’m going to say it with reckless abandon, with absolutely no context whatsoever given to my victims.

    Craymoss
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Check em out before you wash. Problem solved..

    #26

    Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

    GeoffreyofAnjou Report

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Are we supposed to always assume the owner's response is right and the customer's comment is wrong?

    Random Panda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's what I wonder too. I've seen quite a few cases of owners spinning a story to make a review sound fake, when I know it isn't.

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    Sarah Berkner
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I saw a Google review of an apartment that was clearly left by the owner- same first name, she said in a separate review she worked in real estate, and it was worded like an ad (something like, "Make this your home today!")

    Ezra Briggs
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    #27

    Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

    MoiraPrime Report

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When the facts presented do not fit your agenda. The review was probably written by one of the former presidents press secretaries.

    Nope IWont
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    So the guys murdered in POW camps and the ones who came home crippled were all just a ruse?

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    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "This country does not portray the country which invaded them and committed countless abominable crimes for years on their land as the good guys! How awful!"

    Watching
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wowwww, that's pretty bad.

    Boring Man
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've been to this museum... It reminded me of a key phrase one of my history teachers once said over and over again: "History is written by the winners." America lost that war; thush, the museum is written by the Vietnamese as such.

    Nope IWont
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's a WWII museum in Okinawa the same way. "Mean old Americans came and dropped bombs for no reason at all!" No mention of pearl harbor, the rape of Nanjing, unit 731, use of slave labor ( by companies who still exist), comfort women, mistreatment, murder and literal cannibalism of POWs. But America bad, everyone else good. Right, got it.

    Nope IWont
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also, it's worth pointing out that it was mostly Americans who brought to light the crimes committed in Vietnam at the time (you may remember a few protests as well). It was an American officer who reported the mai lai massacre, for example. And, the vast majority of use acknowledge and condemn any misbehavior of our troops. There's a s**t ton of dudes sitting in Leavenworth prison for things they did in Iraq and Afghanistan. And they were put there by fellow Americans service members. So it'd piss me off as well if I saw another country not acknowledging their own misdeeds as we do.

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    Dave P
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    to be fair the North Vietnamese committed atrocities against Hmong and other minority groups in the North and then exiled the survivors to the South. But you expect a communist government to acknowledge their sins? never gonna happen

    Candia Lee
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This museum must be in South Vietnam; South Vietnam is not communistic. Your comment confuses me.

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    But we can’t help but enjoy when reviews or their responses kick up some drama though. It must be difficult to remain professional as an owner when some reviews are just begging to be ripped on. Again, think about what you want to say before you leave a review or respond to one. After all, you might just end up on a Bored Panda article.