I aspire to be like your mum.

I laughed so hard at this!

Sounds like something mike pence would say.

I just want to pop him like a balloon

This is nothing. I once literally went to the wrong hospital for an appointment.

The polyjuice potion is wearing off Voldemort!

Brilliant

When you buy Michael Jackson from Wish

‘Please act calmly and exit the building in an orderly manner’

Yoooooo forget Arsenic Annie, now we got Artery Annie!

Wellll

This person is an idiot, but I actually do have a friend who's half African American. Except no one believes her because she has red hair and freckles. Genetics are so interesting!

“One day, the world will end. But not love. Love will keep us thriving forever. That’s what makes us human, different from the other animals.” - my 5 week fetus <3

*wears a scarf made of knives*

He made a point

I can power up the whole world. There won’t ever be a single power cut if I wore it

She’s barely hanging on by a thread. Same, girl, same.

A friend of mine in high school had a bumper sticker on his truck that said PETA - People Eating Tasty Animals. I thought it was a hilarious sticker.

Thats so smart tho

Hahahaha good one. Just... don't get tattoos, maybe ?

The title lol

I would love to interview a deer!

the thin membrane of onion soaked in methylene blue i looked under the microscope today:

This is ridiculous. Microfibers are 1/100th the size of the average hair.

Has he not heard of graphene?

I would dispute that any scientist at such a prestigious university as Harvard would ever say that, but on the other hand this was the same university that invited Kim Kardashian to give a speech there so hey, maybe they just did...

Or my..DI-

Donald Trumps skin

was that pube or head hair?

first thought: spider web thread is not thinner? great scientists in Harvard! wait, but Harvard where?

Which "scientist" is that? Someone ought to have a serious talk with them about their practice. There are plenty of things that is thinner than a human hair, gold leafs for gilding forexample, they have been around for centuries is so thin that light can shine through them, but is still masive compared to a sheet of graphene, which is only 1 atom thick.

Graphene. A single atom thick.

or my paycheck

Spider web strands?

Touché, bithches 😂

My patience is so thin that it’s very easy for me to snap with no provocation. I think I need to work on myself for that

Plastic and filters….car filters, engine filters, Jenner filters…

Display cows only. I like them.

This meme has a grain of truth in it. Image shows triple lakes on Huayhuash trail in Coridllera mountains. To get there people usually hike for 8-12 days on a 120km long circle trail.

LMFAOOO IM CRYING

Dun Dun DUNNNN!!!

THIS

Ooof. Talking about dark

That’s a funny authentication method

Well there is a weight limit on what baggage handlers are allowed to haul per suitcase , so it is not so much it being to heavy for the plane as it is being to heavy for the poor baggage handler.

Leo DiCaprio dislikes this.

That's what you get for not tipping the chambermaid, George

Yep, but you can even get the thrill of dreaming of getting out this place because you work from home!!

This cannot be overstated- cooking is a life skill not a gender role.

İ dont understand how people can watch cocomelon. İ think its truly terrifying

IT WAS A TRAP

Well to be fair they are pretty much copies of each other… close enough… so she’s keeping true to her type!

Wait I’ve actually never heard I of these though. They seem pretty chill. Anyone wanna get one with me?

I opened up to my mom about my pyrophobia and how I’m always anxious. Now she brings it up all the time to make fun of me :(

Did you get Nescafe