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Trying to determine what makes a good (or bad) dad joke is not so easy, but there are certain ingredients that we can name. First of all, the one-liner has to be administered by a dad (not necessarily your own), it has to be both corny and somewhat amusing, and most of all, it just has to have a hackneyed pun to make it the best joke ever. 
Although not everyone is a big fan of that type of comedy gold, there is a certain amount of appreciation any person can have for a well-timed funny pun. Especially if it's followed by thunderous laughter from the person and the classic finger-guns pose.
Oh, and if you’re a dad joke aficionado like we are, you might be surprised to know where these inappropriate jokes stem from. So, the first theory is that your beloved father just feels nostalgic for those times when you were little and laughed at just about anything. 
The other approach for these hilarious jokes is a much more anticipated one—your father wants to embarrass you as much as he can while he can. And that's precisely what these funny jokes are meant to do.
Scroll down below to see some of the best funny dad jokes around, and don't forget to comment and vote for your favorites.

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

Can I Have A Book Mark?

Can I Have A Book Mark? Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

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JillVille
JillVille
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So sorry Brian, one day he'll get it! lol

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Cameron Metcalf
Cameron Metcalf
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i read over this 4000000 times and im just now getting this....lol ME=STUPID

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Chris Bradley
Chris Bradley
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok what is orange and sounds like a parrot??? ..........., a carrot🤪

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Payveen Zebary
Payveen Zebary
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow he just asked for a book mark its not like he did not know your name.

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Payveen Zebary
Payveen Zebary
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow he just asked for a book mark why did you think he did not know your name.

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Camila GonzalezMendiola
Camila GonzalezMendiola
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i'll slap the hell out of him and say i am suprised but, i ain't no book mark

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Aaron Hathaway
Aaron Hathaway
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wanna play fun games play ROBLOX ohhhhhh click this https://web.roblox.com

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ItsAMarioMoment
ItsAMarioMoment
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does anyone else read these because their dads left when they were young so they can get the experience?

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Dayton Mucha
Dayton Mucha
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why did the rooster cross the road? To prove it wasn’t a chicken.

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Mark Leonhardt
Mark Leonhardt
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ahhh that doesn't work for me. But then my name is actually Mark.

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Jonathon Barrett
Jonathon Barrett
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

hahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahaahhaahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahaahhaahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahaahhaahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahaahhaahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahaahhaahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahaahhaahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahaahhaahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahaahhaahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahah

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Evelyn Britt
Evelyn Britt
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tbh when I heard "Book mark" I thought he was going to hit him with a book....

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Catherine Major
Catherine Major
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahah

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Aliyah Welch
Aliyah Welch
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

cat said lets water the plant becuase it is our job.Sam says no and pours coca cola in the plant.cat says no the plant might have diabutties

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Mark Herring
Mark Herring
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

does me no good since my name is Mark. guess I could respond with " sure. (hand her a book) and say "here you go. but next time , I'd prefer you call me daddy

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Lachlan Mckay-Fulton
Lachlan Mckay-Fulton
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This joke is funny, but a couple of months ago I bought a box of what I thought was a box of dad jokes was actually a deck of cards😪

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alissa leiferman
alissa leiferman
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i just told my dad that joke and he looked at me and was like 😕 and than after 3 mins he was like 😏

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Olivia WILSON
Olivia WILSON
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

omg.... so cringe XD But it's perfect for his Christmas gift XD I made him a box of dad quotes and dad jokes. Is that a good idea? Lol

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Chris Bradley
Chris Bradley
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot???? ..........a carrot🤪

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AVA SNOW
AVA SNOW
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

listen to this joke to people were at a dance one of the guys had a wood eye the other guy was normal. the guy with a wooden eye wanted to dance with a girl that had a peg leg. the guy went over and asked, "do you wanna dance". the girl was surprised so she would eye would eye but the guy took it the wrong way so he started saying peg leg peg leg.

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Madison Beckette
Madison Beckette
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn't get it until I had my dad read it out to me... I am a failure.

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Luc Wall
Luc Wall
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey these Dad Jokes are great Also if your looking for even more awesome dad joke i found this cool site that has some pretty great ones hope you enjoy! :) http://www.lucaswall.ca/dad-jokes/

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Elizabeth VanDyke
Elizabeth VanDyke
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While in a grocery with my SO we bought one item. The cashier asked him if he wanted a bag. He put his hand on my shoulder and said "No thanks. I brought my own."

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Andre McCombs
Andre McCombs
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i told this to me fam and class they thought iit was bad and then dey lafed

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Courtney Halcom
Courtney Halcom
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a joke why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? because he had o body to go with

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MYCHA _
MYCHA _
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Whats the only good thing about child molesters: They drive slow in school zones.

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Bradley Wyss
Bradley Wyss
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

did you hear that diarrhea is hereditary? Yeah it runs in your genes.

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Ma Victor
Ma Victor
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

F**k it! He meant mark as in the name Mark. F**k the internet for killing my brain cells

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Ethan Wood
Ethan Wood
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

kjrbfiuegygighguguygeuiugfufhfhgjgfygfulyagefygeyrgfygfiygrfiygrfgbhcvhbchbcbjabjanxjnaxjkansjkhuidfriugtyigiutgiueyioeyoiur87t98740923re932euip9duoygchjvbbv b jhcbjbm cij-=spodpowjuidiou0-903epo23e23ye67r3289y3817y8933t8348y9r874itugrfkjdcrehjveikherfhreberhfbhefbhkherbherhkleberhb erk;n u n n jyny j n jnjn yh bt hty h yh hyt bt

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Parmeisan
Parmeisan
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think you mean 11 years old and he still doesn't know your name is Dad. ;)

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ELI SWANSON
ELI SWANSON
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

im watcing you right nowi love you so much sleep with me plz

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Ma Victor
Ma Victor
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

F**k it, he meant mark as in name mark. F**k you internet for killing my brain cells

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#2

Sense Of Direction

My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.

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#3

Perfect Pun

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

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#4

Holy Water

Holy Water How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

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52points
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#5

Trippy Shoes

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

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#6

Origin Of French Fries

Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

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Molly Tallmadge
Molly Tallmadge
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6 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

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#7

Nap Time Puns

Nap Time Puns If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

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#8

Donald Duck

The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

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#9

Concepts Of Gravity

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

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#10

Nobody Knows

Nobody Knows What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.

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#11

Which Came First?

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know

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#12

Least Spoken Language

What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language

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#13

Conversation Starter

Conversation Starter My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

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#14

Pie Rates

A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

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#15

Single Handedly The Best

My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."

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#16

Dying To Get There

Dying To Get There When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there!

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Dian Ella Lillie
Dian Ella Lillie
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's an interesting fact about the cemetery in my area - it's the dead centre of the town.

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#17

Meaning Well

My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.

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#18

Serving Justice

Justice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm it would be justwater.

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#19

Sir Arthur's Knights

Sir Arthur's Knights The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

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#20

Logical Explanation

MOM: "How do I look?" DAD: "With your eyes."

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A Deeper Purpose Behind Dad Jokes

It’s easy to write off the best dad jokes ever as being corny. However, some experts believe such jokes have a deeper purpose. According to The Conversation, dads feel more like fatherly figures when telling such jokes. While the dads get their dose of humor, children learn to deal with embarrassment. These factors help develop a healthy father-child relationship.

Even the most corny dad jokes can have long-lasting effects on adult children. According to the ABC7 report, jokes like these can help a child become a better human being and a more confident adult. As they “build up” immunity to embarrassment, children are more willing to open up and be themselves. 

So, instead of getting red from embarrassment, appreciate your dose of the dad joke of the day. Not only are you bringing joy to your parent, but you also develop a confident personality. When you reach adulthood, you’ll have your own collection of dad jokes to tell your friends.
#21

Silent P

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.

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#22

Vegetarian Zombie

Vegetarian Zombie What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “GRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNS!”

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S.
S.
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Imagine the zombie apocalypse beginning, but it's just annoying zombies stealing your bread. “FRED! THE DEAD EFFAHS STOLE MAH CEREAL AGAIN ” ”well, at least we now know they're actually made of grain, honey.”

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#23

Excited For Spring

Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants!

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#24

Rules Of Life

3 unwritten rules of life...
1.
2.
3.

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#25

Witnessing A Robery

Witnessing A Robery If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?

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#26

Company Mergers

Did you hear the news? FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.

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Adam Cantor
Adam Cantor
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That ok, today i heard Youtube, Twitter, and Facebook are all merging. They're going to call it You-Twit-Face.

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#27

Untrustworthy Particles

Don't trust atoms. They make up everything!

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#28

Name-Giving

I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson… He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”

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Wyndmere
Wyndmere
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this the same Brian who believes his kids thinks his name is Mark?

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#29

Magician Dad

KID: "Dad, make me a sandwich!" DAD: "Poof, you’re a sandwich!”

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#30

Invisible Man

Invisible Man Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.

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#31

Server's Nightmare

SERVER: "Sorry about your wait." DAD: "Are you saying I’m fat?”

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#32

No More Butts

What has two butts and kills people? An assassin

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#33

Happy Anniversary

Happy Anniversary What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? AYE MATEY

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#34

Would You Like A Bag?

CASHIER: "Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?" DAD: "No, just leave it in the carton!’”

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#35

Pros And Cons

What's the best part about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

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#36

Ice Cream Truck

Ice Cream Truck When an ambulance zips past with its siren blaring: "They won’t sell much ice cream driving that fast.”

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TrAsh
TrAsh
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Eye scream, you scream, we all scream....cause we're bleeding out.

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#37

Ever Rolling

If Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US, he will be rolling in his grave.

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Christopher Dixon
Christopher Dixon
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow guys. He will be rolling (joints made out of pot) while in his grave. Please man, just...just get it.

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#38

Magic Spells

What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador.

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#39

Math Problems

Math Problems 5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.

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#40

Feeling Tired

Why couldn't the bike standup by itself? It was two tired.

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What is the Oldest Dad Joke?

Like with everything, there is a specific starting point for jokes. While we might not know the first dad joke to be told, we might get a hint at the genre it was in. Fart jokes want to or not date back to the Sumerians. According to Reuters, a fart joke dates back to 1900 B.C. While you might have it in your list of jokes to tell your dad, keep it around to get the upper hand in a corny humor standoff.

#41

Deer Pun

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!

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#42

Father Figure

GRANDPA: I have a 'dad bod', DAD: To me it's more like a father figure.

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#43

Dentist Time

Dentist Time What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.

smithy2004 Report

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#44

Outstanding Cow

When a dad drives past a cow pasture: LOOK! That cow is OUT-STANDING in his field!

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#45

Forrest Gump Password

What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1

BombOmbBuddy Report

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#46

Calendar Factory

I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.

TheSupraDixk Report

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#47

Half Left

Half Left When you ask a dad if he's alright: "No, I’m half left.”

Admblackhawk Report

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Alex Bailey
Alex Bailey
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Defo my dad. If you said 'what?' To him he would also say 'no I'm not hot thanks'.

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#48

Burning Smell

KID: "Hey, I was thinking…" DAD: "I thought I smelled something burning.”

AshleyJack Report

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#49

Termite Pun

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

BradC Report

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#50

Three Guys

Three Guys Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

usernamemispeled Report

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#51

Octopus Tickles

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.

superdrew91 Report

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#52

Birthday Card

SON: *hands my Dad his 50th birthday card*, DAD: You know, one would have been enough.

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#53

Kidding

Kidding When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding.

ownworldman Report

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#54

Ham Sandwich

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry we don’t serve food here."

bobbyperuse Report

Final score:
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Dian Ella Lillie
Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?" The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

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#55

April May

Can February March? No, but April May!

guts_full_of_meat Report

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#56

Bison And Buffalo

Bison And Buffalo What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

_solidwarp_ Report

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#57

Shellfish

Why did the crab never share? Because he's shellfish.

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#58

Elon Controversy

To call the whole Elon Musk controversy “Elon-Gate” seems like a bit of a stretch.

JuIius_Seizure95 Report

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#59

Salted Peanut

Salted Peanut Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.

ConcaveMishap Report

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11points
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#60

Lean Beef

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef. If the cow has no legs, then it’s ground beef.

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Final score:
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#61

Best Dam Show

I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I ever saw!

atodaso Report

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Moe Less
Moe Less
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In 4th grade I wrote a story of beavers making small "damns." Teacher did not notice. Maybe afraid to notice...

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#62

Beethoven Fruit

What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit? A ba-na-na-na.

mozeiny Report

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Caleigh
Caleigh
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You’re lying if you didn’t read that like the song.

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#63

Haircut Pun

When you ask a dad if they got a haircut: "No, I got them all cut!"

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bailey gough
bailey gough
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What did the guy say when he arrived in Antartica? Well that wasn't a warm welcome

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#64

Forever 21

Forever 21 Where did the college-aged vampire like to shop? Forever 21.

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Spirit Animations
Spirit Animations
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*a vampire that could use their time being immortal to research cancer* you know what? I'm going to the mall today!

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#65

Bisacktual

GROCERY STORE CHECKER: "Paper or plastic?" DAD: "Either, I’m bisacktual.”

AshleyJack Report

Final score:
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#66

Horse Tripped

What did the horse say after it tripped? "Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”

AshleyJack Report

Final score:
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#67

A Trumpet

A Trumpet You know what the loudest pet you can get is? A trumpet.

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#68

Total Ripoff

Why wasn't the woman happy with the velcro she bought? It was a total ripoff.

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#69

747 Sounds

What noise does a 747 make when it bounces? Boeing, Boeing, Boeing.

wehavechocolate Report

Final score:
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#70

Deter Gents

Deter Gents I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods. It's more difficult to deter gents, though.

Boomkiller Report

Final score:
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Zoe Page
Zoe Page
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honey combs

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#71

Passable Products

What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory.

TotalBuilder45 Report

Final score:
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#72

First Offender

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!”

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#73

Circus Fire

Circus Fire Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents!

ROTFLandmines Report

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Deacon DeSchepper
Deacon DeSchepper
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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#74

American And European

You're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you're in there? European.

twofirstkinds Report

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#75

25 Letters

I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language. I don’t know why.

IsaiaHarris03 Report

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#76

Soup Or Salad

WAITRESS: "Soup or salad?" DAD: "I don’t want a SUPER salad, I want a regular salad.”

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Scott1983 Cawthon
Scott1983 Cawthon
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually misunderstood someone saying SUPERSALAD but they were just saying soup or salad

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#77

Frostbite

Frostbite What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.

dadjokes Report

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#78

Angry Pepper

What does an angry pepper do? It gets jalapeño your face.

Peekatchu1997 Report

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#79

Keeping A Log

As a lumberjack, I know that I’ve cut exactly 2,417 trees. I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.

TF79870 Report

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#80

It's Tearable

It's Tearable Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Never mind... it's tearable.

boris73 Report

Final score:
5points
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Dian Ella Lillie
Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Did you hear the one about the bed?" "No." "That's because it hasn't been made up yet!"

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#81

Chicken Sedan

Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!

Lee_Hey_pat Report

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#82

An Elephant And A Rhino

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino.

K4RAB_THA_ARAB Report

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David Geurtsen
David Geurtsen
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No no no....it’s What do you get if you cross a hippopotamus, an elephant, and a rhinoceros? Helephino (hell if I know) BUT...this does use the word ‘hell’ in this version. Wait, didn’t the original infer the word ‘hell’?

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#83

Cheese Toastie

Cheese Toastie I was interrogated over the theft of a cheese toastie. Man, they really grilled me.

TheHaleyBaby Report

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#84

Postmen Letters

If you rearrange the letters of “Postmen”. They get really pissed off.

porichoygupto Report

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#85

Dog Walks Into A Bar

A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I’m looking for the man who shot my paw."

USAneedsAJohnson Report

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Charlie Holmes
Charlie Holmes
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is one of my all-time favorites. When my kids were young(er), I would tell this joke every evening at the supper table. I did that for over a year, so I'm sure it'll be passed down to my grandkids and, hopefully, generations after. At least I'll have a legacy. 8^] I've always spoken the punchline using my best John Wayne impersonation.

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#86

Muffler Dream

Muffler Dream I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!

MayorMcGrimace Report

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#87

A Gigabyte Pun

You heard of that new band 1023MB? They're good but they haven't got a gig yet.

Gamer-Citrus Report

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#88

Lifesaver Inventor

Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.

Rohi0109 Report

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#89

Square Meal

Square Meal Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin? It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.

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Marc Stevens
Marc Stevens
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They repealed that law. They discovered it was more important that the cows had a well-rounded diet.

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#90

Lonely Cheese

What do you call a lonely cheese? Provolone.

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Aidan Rance
Aidan Rance
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm fetta-p with bad food puns, even i'm not that old! You'll need a stronger start if you want to keep up with me. lol

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#91

Carry Your Tune

DAD, TO A SINGER: "Don’t forget a bucket." SINGER: "Why?" DAD: "To carry your tune."

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#92

Fortnite Pun

I told my 14 year old son I thought 'Fortnite' was a stupid name for a computer game. I think it is just too weak.

24two Report

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#93

Kleenex Dance

Kleenex Dance How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!

BasedOnAir Report

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#94

Toad And Frog

How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says, "Ribbit, ribbit" and a horny toad says, "Rub it, rub it.”

turtleforeskin88 Report

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#95

Cell Phones

What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.

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#96

Bad Blood

Bad Blood Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift? She had bad blood.

omgthatspunny Report

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#97

Little Horse

Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse!

madazzahatter Report

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Jan Kowalski
Jan Kowalski
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even a little horse deserves a bucket of water at least. Stop animal cruelty!

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#98

Blood Type

NURSE: "Blood type?" DAD: "Red."

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#99

Two-Knee Fish

Two-Knee Fish What do you call a fish with two knees? A “two-knee” fish.

blacklutefisk Report

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