x Facebook shareFacebook Pinterest sharePinterest Twitter shareTwitter FunnySep 19, 2024 The Best And The Funniest Dad Jokes Giedrė Vaičiulaitytė and Ieva Midveryte Open list comments 0 Vote arrow up Vote arrow down -3 Open list comments 0 Checkmark Link copied! Share icon Share Checkmark Link copied! Share icon Share Publish Not your original work? Add source Trying to determine what makes a good (or bad) dad joke is not so easy, but there are certain ingredients that we can name. First of all, the one-liner has to be administered by a dad (not necessarily your own), it has to be both corny and somewhat amusing, and most of all, it just has to have a hackneyed pun to make it the best joke ever. Although not everyone is a big fan of that type of comedy gold, there is a certain amount of appreciation any person can have for a well-timed funny pun. Especially if it's followed by thunderous laughter from the person and the classic finger-guns pose.Oh, and if you’re a dad joke aficionado like we are, you might be surprised to know where these inappropriate jokes stem from. So, the first theory is that your beloved father just feels nostalgic for those times when you were little and laughed at just about anything. The other approach for these hilarious jokes is a much more anticipated one—your father wants to embarrass you as much as he can while he can. And that's precisely what these funny jokes are meant to do.Scroll down below to see some of the best funny dad jokes around, and don't forget to comment and vote for your favorites. This post may include affiliate links. #1 Can I Have A Book Mark? Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. Tface Report Add photo comments POST You May Also Like: #2 Perfect Pun DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.MOM: Oh my! Who!?DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????DAD: No, it was with a knife... Alessia_Fisher Report Add photo comments POST #3 Holy Water How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it. tymoski Report Add photo comments POST BMXemplary BMXemplary Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Hah, that just about fracked me up! 🤪 Vote comment up 0 0points Vote comment down reply #4 Donald Duck The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!" ldrescher Report Add photo comments POST BMXemplary BMXemplary Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Now every time I see him on telly I'm gonna turn the sound off and pretend he's talking but using the voice of Donald Duck. Vote comment up 1 1point Vote comment down reply #5 Origin Of French Fries Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece. somekindahuman Report Add photo comments POST BMXemplary BMXemplary Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Andes? Where are dee's from? Vote comment up 0 0points Vote comment down reply #6 Least Spoken Language What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language A_Sea_Cucumber Report Add photo comments POST #7 Which Came First? I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know JohnathanWickers Report Add photo comments POST #8 Sense Of Direction My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right. porichoygupto Report Add photo comments POST #9 Trippy Shoes I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day! motherfkersantana Report Add photo comments POST #10 Nap Time Puns If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest? korpsart Report Add photo comments POST #11 Concepts Of Gravity I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down! raheel1122 Report Add photo comments POST #12 Nobody Knows What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows. Lee_Hey_pat Report Add photo comments POST #13 Pie Rates A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean. porichoygupto Report Add photo comments POST #14 Conversation Starter My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me... madazzahatter Report Add photo comments POST #15 Single Handedly The Best My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly." thunderup_14 Report Add photo comments POST #16 Serving Justice Justice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm it would be justwater. Spider_Dimwit Report Add photo comments POST #17 Dying To Get There When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there! AshleyJack Report Add photo comments POST #18 Meaning Well My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well. StewPaddasso Report Add photo comments POST #19 Sir Arthur's Knights The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. omgthatspunny Report Add photo comments POST #20 Logical Explanation MOM: "How do I look?" DAD: "With your eyes." Report Add photo comments POST A Deeper Purpose Behind Dad JokesIt’s easy to write off the best dad jokes ever as being corny. However, some experts believe such jokes have a deeper purpose. According to The Conversation, dads feel more like fatherly figures when telling such jokes. While the dads get their dose of humor, children learn to deal with embarrassment. These factors help develop a healthy father-child relationship.Even the most corny dad jokes can have long-lasting effects on adult children. According to the ABC7 report, jokes like these can help a child become a better human being and a more confident adult. As they “build up” immunity to embarrassment, children are more willing to open up and be themselves. So, instead of getting red from embarrassment, appreciate your dose of the dad joke of the day. Not only are you bringing joy to your parent, but you also develop a confident personality. When you reach adulthood, you’ll have your own collection of dad jokes to tell your friends. #21 Silent P Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent. Capetoider Report Add photo comments POST #22 Vegetarian Zombie What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “GRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNS!” PolesawPolska Report Add photo comments POST #23 Rules Of Life 3 unwritten rules of life...1. 2. 3. madazzahatter Report Add photo comments POST #24 Excited For Spring Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants! mblondie Report Add photo comments POST #25 Company Mergers Did you hear the news? FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on. AshleyJack Report Add photo comments POST #26 Witnessing A Robery If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness? Gingafer81 Report Add photo comments POST #27 Untrustworthy Particles Don't trust atoms. They make up everything! letrollface1279 Report Add photo comments POST #28 Name-Giving I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson… He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.” madazzahatter Report Add photo comments POST #29 Magician Dad KID: "Dad, make me a sandwich!" DAD: "Poof, you’re a sandwich!” th0nkii Report Add photo comments POST #30 No More Butts What has two butts and kills people? An assassin LeCrowing Report Add photo comments POST #31 Invisible Man Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it. DeathEater101 Report Add photo comments POST #32 Server's Nightmare SERVER: "Sorry about your wait." DAD: "Are you saying I’m fat?” Report Add photo comments POST #33 Happy Anniversary What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? AYE MATEY Muter Report Add photo comments POST #34 Pros And Cons What's the best part about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus. Lliizzaarrddd Report Add photo comments POST #35 Would You Like A Bag? CASHIER: "Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?" DAD: "No, just leave it in the carton!’” ChiePie Report Add photo comments POST #36 Ice Cream Truck When an ambulance zips past with its siren blaring: "They won’t sell much ice cream driving that fast.” IABDPresents Report Add photo comments POST #37 Ever Rolling If Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US, he will be rolling in his grave. porichoygupto Report Add photo comments POST #38 Magic Spells What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador. offmlc Report Add photo comments POST #39 Math Problems 5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions. jnnx3 Report Add photo comments POST #40 Feeling Tired Why couldn't the bike standup by itself? It was two tired. TheLast0ne_ Report Add photo comments POST What is the Oldest Dad Joke?Like with everything, there is a specific starting point for jokes. While we might not know the first dad joke to be told, we might get a hint at the genre it was in. Fart jokes want to or not date back to the Sumerians. According to Reuters, a fart joke dates back to 1900 B.C. While you might have it in your list of jokes to tell your dad, keep it around to get the upper hand in a corny humor standoff. #41 Deer Pun What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea! ElderCunningham Report Add photo comments POST #42 Father Figure GRANDPA: I have a 'dad bod', DAD: To me it's more like a father figure. maryfountain Report Add photo comments POST #43 Dentist Time What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y. smithy2004 Report Add photo comments POST #44 Outstanding Cow When a dad drives past a cow pasture: LOOK! That cow is OUT-STANDING in his field! Report Add photo comments POST #45 Forrest Gump Password What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1 BombOmbBuddy Report Add photo comments POST #46 Half Left When you ask a dad if he's alright: "No, I’m half left.” Admblackhawk Report Add photo comments POST #47 Calendar Factory I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off. TheSupraDixk Report Add photo comments POST #48 Burning Smell KID: "Hey, I was thinking…" DAD: "I thought I smelled something burning.” AshleyJack Report Add photo comments POST #49 Birthday Card SON: *hands my Dad his 50th birthday card*, DAD: You know, one would have been enough. porichoygupto Report Add photo comments POST #50 Kidding When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding. ownworldman Report Add photo comments POST #51 Three Guys Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks. usernamemispeled Report Add photo comments POST See Also on Bored Panda Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?” Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women #52 Termite Pun A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?" BradC Report Add photo comments POST #53 Octopus Tickles How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles. superdrew91 Report Add photo comments POST #54 Shellfish Why did the crab never share? Because he's shellfish. Mr_McMuffins Report Add photo comments POST #55 Bison And Buffalo What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison. _solidwarp_ Report Add photo comments POST #56 April May Can February March? No, but April May! guts_full_of_meat Report Add photo comments POST #57 Elon Controversy To call the whole Elon Musk controversy “Elon-Gate” seems like a bit of a stretch. JuIius_Seizure95 Report Add photo comments POST #58 Ham Sandwich A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry we don’t serve food here." bobbyperuse Report Add photo comments POST #59 Lean Beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef. If the cow has no legs, then it’s ground beef. allmyritz Report Add photo comments POST #60 Salted Peanut Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted. ConcaveMishap Report Add photo comments POST #61 Best Dam Show Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Never mind... it's tearable. boris73 Report Add photo comments POST See Also on Bored Panda Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics) “Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way #62 Forever 21 Where did the college-aged vampire like to shop? Forever 21. Report Add photo comments POST #63 Beethoven Fruit What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit? A ba-na-na-na. mozeiny Report Add photo comments POST #64 Haircut Pun When you ask a dad if they got a haircut: "No, I got them all cut!" KEERTHIVLOGS Report Add photo comments POST #65 747 Sounds What noise does a 747 make when it bounces? Boeing, Boeing, Boeing. wehavechocolate Report Add photo comments POST #66 Total Ripoff Why wasn't the woman happy with the velcro she bought? It was a total ripoff. Report Add photo comments POST #67 Horse Tripped What did the horse say after it tripped? "Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!” AshleyJack Report Add photo comments POST #68 Bisacktual GROCERY STORE CHECKER: "Paper or plastic?" DAD: "Either, I’m bisacktual.” AshleyJack Report Add photo comments POST #69 A Trumpet You know what the loudest pet you can get is? A trumpet. JonquilXanthippe Report Add photo comments POST #70 Deter Gents I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods. It's more difficult to deter gents, though. Boomkiller Report Add photo comments POST #71 Passable Products What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory. TotalBuilder45 Report Add photo comments POST See Also on Bored Panda 50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics #72 First Offender A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!” FunnyGenious Report Add photo comments POST #73 Circus Fire Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents! ROTFLandmines Report Add photo comments POST #74 Angry Pepper What does an angry pepper do? It gets jalapeño your face. Peekatchu1997 Report Add photo comments POST #75 Keeping A Log As a lumberjack, I know that I’ve cut exactly 2,417 trees. I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log. TF79870 Report Add photo comments POST #76 Frostbite What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite. dadjokes Report Add photo comments POST #77 American And European You're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you're in there? European. twofirstkinds Report Add photo comments POST #78 Soup Or Salad WAITRESS: "Soup or salad?" DAD: "I don’t want a SUPER salad, I want a regular salad.” Report Add photo comments POST #79 25 Letters I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language. I don’t know why. IsaiaHarris03 Report Add photo comments POST #80 It's Tearable Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Never mind... it's tearable. boris73 Report Add photo comments POST #81 Cheese Toastie I was interrogated over the theft of a cheese toastie. Man, they really grilled me. TheHaleyBaby Report Add photo comments POST See Also on Bored Panda Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her #82 Chicken Sedan Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans! Lee_Hey_pat Report Add photo comments POST #83 Postmen Letters If you rearrange the letters of “Postmen”. They get really pissed off. porichoygupto Report Add photo comments POST #84 An Elephant And A Rhino What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino. K4RAB_THA_ARAB Report Add photo comments POST #85 Muffler Dream I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted! MayorMcGrimace Report Add photo comments POST #86 A Gigabyte Pun You heard of that new band 1023MB? They're good but they haven't got a gig yet. Gamer-Citrus Report Add photo comments POST #87 Dog Walks Into A Bar A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I’m looking for the man who shot my paw." USAneedsAJohnson Report Add photo comments POST #88 Lifesaver Inventor Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint. Rohi0109 Report Add photo comments POST #89 Fortnite Pun I told my 14 year old son I thought 'Fortnite' was a stupid name for a computer game. I think it is just too weak. 24two Report Add photo comments POST #90 Carry Your Tune DAD, TO A SINGER: "Don’t forget a bucket." SINGER: "Why?" DAD: "To carry your tune." _solidwarp_ Report Add photo comments POST #91 Lonely Cheese What do you call a lonely cheese? Provolone. Versacepoop Report Add photo comments POST See Also on Bored Panda Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk “This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport #92 Square Meal Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin? It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal. Report Add photo comments POST #93 Toad And Frog How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says, "Ribbit, ribbit" and a horny toad says, "Rub it, rub it.” turtleforeskin88 Report Add photo comments POST #94 Kleenex Dance How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it! BasedOnAir Report Add photo comments POST #95 Bad Blood Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift? She had bad blood. omgthatspunny Report Add photo comments POST #96 Cell Phones What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones. Iplaychesssometimes Report Add photo comments POST #97 Little Horse Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse! madazzahatter Report Add photo comments POST #98 Two-Knee Fish What do you call a fish with two knees? A “two-knee” fish. blacklutefisk Report Add photo comments POST #99 Blood Type NURSE: "Blood type?" DAD: "Red." Report Add photo comments POST Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Modal close Add Your Answer! Not your original work? Add source Publish Modal close Modal close Upload from computerUpload Photo Ooops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Upload Upload Edit Image Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again. 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