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Trying to determine what makes a good (or bad) dad joke is not so easy, but there are certain ingredients that we can name. First of all, the one-liner has to be administered by a dad (not necessarily your own), it has to be both corny and somewhat amusing, and most of all, it just has to have a hackneyed pun to make it the best joke ever.
Although not everyone is a big fan of that type of comedy gold, there is a certain amount of appreciation any person can have for a well-timed funny pun. Especially if it's followed by thunderous laughter from the person and the classic finger-guns pose.
Oh, and if you’re a dad joke aficionado like we are, you might be surprised to know where these inappropriate jokes stem from. So, the first theory is that your beloved father just feels nostalgic for those times when you were little and laughed at just about anything.
The other approach for these hilarious jokes is a much more anticipated one—your father wants to embarrass you as much as he can while he can. And that's precisely what these funny jokes are meant to do.
Scroll down below to see some of the best funny dad jokes around, and don't forget to comment and vote for your favorites.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Can I Have A Book Mark?
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
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#2
Sense Of Direction
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
#3
Perfect Pun
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
#4
Holy Water
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
#5
Trippy Shoes
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
#6
Origin Of French Fries
Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
#7
Nap Time Puns
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
#8
Donald Duck
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
#9
Concepts Of Gravity
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
#10
Nobody Knows
What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
#11
Which Came First?
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know
#12
Least Spoken Language
What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language
#13
Conversation Starter
My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me...
#14
Pie Rates
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
#15
Single Handedly The Best
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
#16
Dying To Get There
When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there!
Dian Ella Lillie 6 years ago
There's an interesting fact about the cemetery in my area - it's the dead centre of the town.
#17
Meaning Well
My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.
#18
Serving Justice
Justice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm it would be justwater.
#19
Sir Arthur's Knights
The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
#20
Logical Explanation
MOM: "How do I look?" DAD: "With your eyes."
A Deeper Purpose Behind Dad Jokes
It’s easy to write off the best dad jokes ever as being corny. However, some experts believe such jokes have a deeper purpose. According to The Conversation, dads feel more like fatherly figures when telling such jokes. While the dads get their dose of humor, children learn to deal with embarrassment. These factors help develop a healthy father-child relationship.
Even the most corny dad jokes can have long-lasting effects on adult children. According to the ABC7 report, jokes like these can help a child become a better human being and a more confident adult. As they “build up” immunity to embarrassment, children are more willing to open up and be themselves.
So, instead of getting red from embarrassment, appreciate your dose of the dad joke of the day. Not only are you bringing joy to your parent, but you also develop a confident personality. When you reach adulthood, you’ll have your own collection of dad jokes to tell your friends.
#21
Silent P
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.
#22
Vegetarian Zombie
What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “GRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNS!”
#23
Excited For Spring
Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants!
#25
Witnessing A Robery
If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?
#26
Company Mergers
Did you hear the news? FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.
Adam Cantor 6 years ago
That ok, today i heard Youtube, Twitter, and Facebook are all merging. They're going to call it You-Twit-Face.
#27
Untrustworthy Particles
Don't trust atoms. They make up everything!
#28
Name-Giving
I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson… He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”
#29
Magician Dad
KID: "Dad, make me a sandwich!" DAD: "Poof, you’re a sandwich!”
#30
Invisible Man
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.
#31
Server's Nightmare
SERVER: "Sorry about your wait." DAD: "Are you saying I’m fat?”
#32
No More Butts
What has two butts and kills people? An assassin
#33
Happy Anniversary
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? AYE MATEY
#34
Would You Like A Bag?
CASHIER: "Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?" DAD: "No, just leave it in the carton!’”
#35
Pros And Cons
What's the best part about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
#36
Ice Cream Truck
When an ambulance zips past with its siren blaring: "They won’t sell much ice cream driving that fast.”
#37
Ever Rolling
If Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US, he will be rolling in his grave.
Christopher Dixon 5 years ago
Wow guys. He will be rolling (joints made out of pot) while in his grave. Please man, just...just get it.
#39
Math Problems
5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.
#40
Feeling Tired
Why couldn't the bike standup by itself? It was two tired.
What is the Oldest Dad Joke?
Like with everything, there is a specific starting point for jokes. While we might not know the first dad joke to be told, we might get a hint at the genre it was in. Fart jokes want to or not date back to the Sumerians. According to Reuters, a fart joke dates back to 1900 B.C. While you might have it in your list of jokes to tell your dad, keep it around to get the upper hand in a corny humor standoff.
#41
Deer Pun
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
#42
Father Figure
GRANDPA: I have a 'dad bod', DAD: To me it's more like a father figure.
#43
Dentist Time
What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.
#44
Outstanding Cow
When a dad drives past a cow pasture: LOOK! That cow is OUT-STANDING in his field!
#45
Forrest Gump Password
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1
#46
Calendar Factory
I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
#47
Half Left
When you ask a dad if he's alright: "No, I’m half left.”
Alex Bailey 6 years ago
Defo my dad. If you said 'what?' To him he would also say 'no I'm not hot thanks'.
#48
Burning Smell
KID: "Hey, I was thinking…" DAD: "I thought I smelled something burning.”
#49
Termite Pun
A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
#50
Three Guys
Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.
#51
Octopus Tickles
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
#52
Birthday Card
SON: *hands my Dad his 50th birthday card*, DAD: You know, one would have been enough.
#53
Kidding
When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding.
#54
Ham Sandwich
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry we don’t serve food here."
Dian Ella Lillie 6 years ago
A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?" The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
#56
Bison And Buffalo
What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
#58
Elon Controversy
To call the whole Elon Musk controversy “Elon-Gate” seems like a bit of a stretch.
#59
Salted Peanut
Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
#60
Lean Beef
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef. If the cow has no legs, then it’s ground beef.
#61
Best Dam Show
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I ever saw!
#62
Beethoven Fruit
What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit? A ba-na-na-na.
#63
Haircut Pun
When you ask a dad if they got a haircut: "No, I got them all cut!"
bailey gough 5 years ago
What did the guy say when he arrived in Antartica? Well that wasn't a warm welcome
#64
Forever 21
Where did the college-aged vampire like to shop? Forever 21.
Spirit Animations 5 years ago
*a vampire that could use their time being immortal to research cancer* you know what? I'm going to the mall today!
#65
Bisacktual
GROCERY STORE CHECKER: "Paper or plastic?" DAD: "Either, I’m bisacktual.”
#66
Horse Tripped
What did the horse say after it tripped? "Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”
#67
A Trumpet
You know what the loudest pet you can get is? A trumpet.
#68
Total Ripoff
Why wasn't the woman happy with the velcro she bought? It was a total ripoff.
#69
747 Sounds
What noise does a 747 make when it bounces? Boeing, Boeing, Boeing.
#70
Deter Gents
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods. It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
#71
Passable Products
What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory.
#72
First Offender
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!”
#73
Circus Fire
Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents!
Deacon DeSchepper 5 years ago
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
#74
American And European
You're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you're in there? European.
#75
25 Letters
I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language. I don’t know why.
#76
Soup Or Salad
WAITRESS: "Soup or salad?" DAD: "I don’t want a SUPER salad, I want a regular salad.”
Scott1983 Cawthon 5 years ago
I actually misunderstood someone saying SUPERSALAD but they were just saying soup or salad
#77
Frostbite
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
#78
Angry Pepper
What does an angry pepper do? It gets jalapeño your face.
#79
Keeping A Log
As a lumberjack, I know that I’ve cut exactly 2,417 trees. I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.
#80
It's Tearable
Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Never mind... it's tearable.
Dian Ella Lillie 6 years ago
"Did you hear the one about the bed?" "No." "That's because it hasn't been made up yet!"
#81
Chicken Sedan
Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!
#82
An Elephant And A Rhino
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino.
David Geurtsen 4 years ago
No no no....it’s What do you get if you cross a hippopotamus, an elephant, and a rhinoceros? Helephino (hell if I know) BUT...this does use the word ‘hell’ in this version. Wait, didn’t the original infer the word ‘hell’?
#83
Cheese Toastie
I was interrogated over the theft of a cheese toastie. Man, they really grilled me.
#84
Postmen Letters
If you rearrange the letters of “Postmen”. They get really pissed off.
#85
Dog Walks Into A Bar
A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I’m looking for the man who shot my paw."
Charlie Holmes 5 years ago
This is one of my all-time favorites. When my kids were young(er), I would tell this joke every evening at the supper table. I did that for over a year, so I'm sure it'll be passed down to my grandkids and, hopefully, generations after. At least I'll have a legacy. 8^] I've always spoken the punchline using my best John Wayne impersonation.
#86
Muffler Dream
I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!
#87
A Gigabyte Pun
You heard of that new band 1023MB? They're good but they haven't got a gig yet.
#88
Lifesaver Inventor
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.
#89
Square Meal
Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin? It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.
Marc Stevens 5 years ago
They repealed that law. They discovered it was more important that the cows had a well-rounded diet.
#90
Lonely Cheese
What do you call a lonely cheese? Provolone.
Aidan Rance 5 years ago
I'm fetta-p with bad food puns, even i'm not that old! You'll need a stronger start if you want to keep up with me. lol
#91
Carry Your Tune
DAD, TO A SINGER: "Don’t forget a bucket." SINGER: "Why?" DAD: "To carry your tune."
#92
Fortnite Pun
I told my 14 year old son I thought 'Fortnite' was a stupid name for a computer game. I think it is just too weak.
#93
Kleenex Dance
How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!
#94
Toad And Frog
How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says, "Ribbit, ribbit" and a horny toad says, "Rub it, rub it.”
#95
Cell Phones
What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.
#96
Bad Blood
Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift? She had bad blood.
#97
Little Horse
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse!
Jan Kowalski 4 years ago
Even a little horse deserves a bucket of water at least. Stop animal cruelty!
#99
Two-Knee Fish
What do you call a fish with two knees? A “two-knee” fish.
What do you think ?
K. LNU 6 years ago
Anyone else keep hearing the "ba-dum-dum *cymbal crash" after each one? lol
Maria Windsor 5 years ago
YESSSSSS lol in real life actually my lil bro was at his drumset when I was reading these aloud and he made that sound after each one :P lol!!!!!!!!!!!!
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K. LNU 6 years ago
Anyone else keep hearing the "ba-dum-dum *cymbal crash" after each one? lol
Maria Windsor 5 years ago
YESSSSSS lol in real life actually my lil bro was at his drumset when I was reading these aloud and he made that sound after each one :P lol!!!!!!!!!!!!
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