it's a gemstone

Pffffff like Trump has any money. The man has been bankrupt multiple times.

They’ll never get hold of mine. I wear it every day.

I want cake now.

Well, she actually meant that she wanted the pope as father for her baby, but he refused

Americans. Some of them simply can't imagine there is world outside the US.

I wonder if Your sister will be a mother or a father

That tweet she twote twas twitty. "Twote" has to become a verb(past tense)

I hope the kid reads a lot, because for sure they will not learn a lot from their parent

I'm getting sadder and sadder reading these.

I guess the tree must have been enjoying itself all this time

Unless the child was switched at the hospital by mistake lol

so innocent

???

You mean geography???

The cap explains it all...

Ha. That is great. This person probably thought the were being so profound.

If you’re that stupid, you really shouldn’t be procreating.

Clearly this is just trolling

Humans are waterproof. That's why we don't swell up with water like a sponge when we sit in the bath. The problem is clothes.

Admitting you did a stupid is the first step to recovery.

They are the second type of people then

well a bunch of people just got their identities stolen

Hahahaha Do you think it's too late to tell him "No there isn't"?

It's all in the edit.

I see potential for business here- how about if I sold 1/10 pound burgers, or 1/25 ....would people still buy it (at lower cost of course)

For diabetics, best only use 1/2 cup of sugar

I was a little shocked that they could post his whole name and address until I remembered it's a freaking fake ID *facepalms hard*

Do this many Americans really not know that the Arabic Numeral System is the most widely-used number system in the world, including in the US?

At least she realized lol

The French "Noir" following it should have been a give away

SuperAlabamaMan

Wth!! Do they actually think that people BLEND BABIES???!! And anyway abortions happen before the baby is even developed, at the earliest stage

For more breaking news visit the Onion News site.

Oh, Megan, you hot mess indeed.... From a Southern gal, God bless your poor little heart

That poor teacher. Going to Irish up his coffee on the lunch break to get through the day

I rest my case.

I'd assume the landlord meant photos of the dials and pilot light on the hot water service outside the house. In which case, the fail here lies with Patrick.

Then he sold it on the next stop, with shaky hands.

I'm surprised they noticed

That "sh*t" have feelings bruh

Was alcohol in play at some point in the cancellation process?

perpetuum mobile

Aha watching family guy right now! This is something i can see me doing XD

you can actually expect something like that from family guy

That's actually adorable though!

That can happen. Y'know?

I feel like this has happened to me in the past

To be fair, that is a joke Family Guy would totally make. lol

Well, it is Family Guy...

When I lived in India we could change the language from English to a bunch of regional languages. Too funny!! Friend in Tamil!! A Die Hard movie in Telegu!!

It _is_ something that show would do.

Sounds like a Friends episode...

I feel you.

The facemask thing as demonstrated just how many moronic adults there are out there. Its not rocket science to put one on right and yet . . .

Maybe she's just got a ton of insulin to spare.