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Comeback refers to a quick reply to a critical remark which basically shuts down the critic immediately. The best comebacks are always a step ahead in restoring karma, defending the accused ones, and making that snap which is entertaining to anyone who witnesses it.

And since experiencing a real-life clapback which is both fun and witty is somewhat rare, we turn to the internet, or this Twitter page, to be precise, to give ourselves a masterclass in savage comebacks.

Named “Clever Comebacks,” the page is busy sharing exactly what it promises in the title and from 75.5k followers, it seems like it’s doing a pretty good job. More masterclass comebacks from the same account can be found in our previous feature right here!

#1

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Paulo Freitas
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Call the fire department, thats is not a burn, thats a frikking forest fire....

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In a previous interview, Bored Panda spoke with Abigail Paul, an actress, standup comedian and improviser who has been giving seminars on incorporating theatre techniques for purposes beyond the stage to schools, businesses and organizations.

Abigail argues that the secret to any comeback is connection. “If you are really listening to (and connecting with) another person, you are taking them in fully, aware of who they are, the context in which you are dealing with this person,” she said.

#4

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N Miller
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ugh, obnoxious hateful b*tch. Has she not crawled back under her rock yet. Could've done with her name being censored - the less air time this oxygen thief is given the better

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TooTall
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They forgot to mention the historical forcing conversion to Atheism through torture and/or being killed...

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Moreover, according to the comedian, people do this assessment unconsciously. In fact, we aren't even always aware that we are always sizing up other people. “This is too often because we are so focused on ourselves.” A great comeback feels great because it was earned, Abigail argues. “It was spontaneous. The commenter was probably really listening. It was unique to that moment, set of people, situation,” she told us some time ago.

#7

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Hotdogking
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, that’s because we’re so.... I can’t be bothered to finish that sentence 🥱😴

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Jaaawn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Members of the Church of Satan are some of the most charitable and humane people around! It's only feared because of the name.

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One of the biggest challenges in saying a comeback is making sure it doesn’t sound mean. But Abigail reminds us that a comeback is not a clapback. The latter one “is generally sarcastic, but a clapback might be fun among friends.”

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At the same time, the context of a situation always matters. “In working on status exercises in improv, we try to get people to see that the easiest way to raise another person's status is to lower their own. We see that in standup comedy too. Usually it works best if the comic is the butt of the joke, not the audience. (There are plenty of exceptions.)”

#10

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girlsrock4ever
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And also, expecting them to be happy is first of all sexist, and also dumb because how would they be happy when so many problems plague femalekind, like pink tax, groping, jerks like this guy, etc. Today in my bus some guy apparently pulled up the shirt of & touched this girl in her private parts. That girl is a 4th grader, and that guy is that age or younger! (my school goes from Nursery to 12th grade).

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#11

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Bender Bending Rodríguez
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Haters gonna hate. Potatoes gonna potate. Karens gonna talk to a lawyer about suing an underage child. Something tells me there's more than just hairstyle why kids call that karen, karen.

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While you don’t need to be too self-effacing for a good comeback, if it can lift other people up, the job is done. “When it works well and gains the speaker a laugh and cements the bond that says, we are in this together,” Abigail explained.

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While comebacks can be used as an excellent communication tool, listening skills are the most important thing. “Paying attention, making accurate observations about the people in the room, and how they feel—these are the tools that will make a comeback really shine,” Abigail explained.

#14

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Caro Caro
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jenni is going places and she has my vote. What a gutsy intelligent young lady.

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Hotdogking
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My granddad died of Parkinson’s so it would be a slap in the face for me if a cure is discovered now

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Rowlie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These brands are like a pets fast food- it tastes great so pets love it but there is no real nutrition value.

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waddles
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

the dishwasher is a scary thing, nearly as terrifying as the microwave

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#21

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Nathaniel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We AlL KnoW mORe gUnS MaKE uS SAfeR FrOM GuN vioLENce tHAt iS WhY UsA Is thE SaFESt CoUNtrY iN thE WOrlD.

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Marleinah Smith
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

True beauty comes from the inside. This new gf must be a better person than the ex.

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Nathaniel
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If all women protected their virginities ( I am cringing at this sentence by the way) how would all these studs of men, these players, get their end away?

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Reinaldo Fuentes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only thing worse than getting stuck behind a slow walker is getting stuck behind a slow family that shambles (yes, shambles) side by side, 3 or 4 abreast, taking up the whole sidewalk.

Dan Flo
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes! Or in the grocerystore when people park their cart along the opening to one fridge while they stand infront of another while acting like they never seen a milk carton before, taking up two fridges while taking forever to decide what they want...

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Dan Flo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think they got that report was made backwards. It should be "the slower a group of people is walking, the more unhappy (and annoyed) is the normaly paced human trapped behind them".

Dinosaur
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gossipy snails that reek of cheap perfume. Always blocking my path to the vending machine.

Epona
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or ANY perfume, IMHO! Don't assume I like the smell of your perfume/don't have allergies to scent or perfume (there IS a difference), lady (meaning the gossipy snail)! Scent free environments are great, assuming everyone in them knows and complies with the rules!

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OmBoyGanesh
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bit here’s the jaded statistic: people who walk faster *with a purpose* are healthier & happier than slower walkers. It’s only people who walk fast without purpose who are less happy. These shady skewed “studies” are easy to Google.

Jenny Mason
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a slow walker (I'm disabled and use a walking stick). If I'm in your way, please say "Excuse me" and I will move for you.

Cats4Life
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omg reminds me of middle school! The girls walking with their friends going slow as a snail, and like you want to pass them so u do (for me atleast)

userblueone
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My legs are so long that I naturally have a high rate of speed. If I try to walk the speed of everybody else then I have trouble to defying gravity. Move your a*s to the right.

O.M.Miki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

uhhh everyday in tokyo. lol by that logic we are all unhappy

Horst
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*losing sanity after getting trapped behind a slow crowd with no way around them*

Nonna_SoF
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Shocking new study reveals people who walk fast less likely to want to be bothered by someone asking about a study.

Dana Ondráčková
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I haaate slowly walking people. And they somehow know when I am in a serious hurry And intetntionally blocks my way

Epona
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This! Especially at grocery stores! Why does everyone feel the need to meander while looking for their bread or whatever. Some of us are more efficient when we are shopping, have some awareness and move to the side. I was trapped behind two women in the yeast aisle the last time I went grocery shopping and they just stood there vaguely actually shopping but really just standing in my way and chatting (they were shopping together I guess) and being oblivious to everyone else in the aisle. I moved to a different spot behind them in the hopes I could squeeze in and get my nutritional yeast and move on with my shopping, but they didn't see me (lots of people don't seem to use their peripheral vision very often, much to my annoyance) and moved further into the area I needed to get my nutritional yeast. I waited a few minutes to see if they would move out of my way and then just decided to budge in to let them know someone else was there. If they didn't give me the chance, I would take it!

Epona
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I ran out of room 😒🙄 *Bored Panda, please give us a little bit more room in the comment boxes!!* Continuing my grocery trip story: I got my nutritional yeast and finished my shopping. When I got to the beginning of the line-up for the till, they were in front of me, still meandering and oblivious. I would have asked if I could have gone ahead of them, to avoid more delay in paying for my stuff and getting home and away from them quicker, but I had a full buggy of groceries and they both only had one or two items so they would (in theory anyway) be faster at the till. The line moved up and they kept looking at the stuff in the area leading to the tills and not paying attention to the line moving. It got to the point in the line where they were the next people to be called to a till and the first woman was paying proper attention but the other one wasn't and could have gone to the same till as her friend and I could have got to the next available till faster but No! It was annoying!

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Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I only walk slowly on my way to science class when we have a test. Otherwise, I walk fasttt

Captain Panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dont get me started with the slow drivers in the fast lane....ugh!

Pinkjoelle
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I walk slow because I have damage nerves in my right foot and im not happy about it.

BeepBeepBoopBoop
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

lol I walk slow because of three surgeries in my left foot! Gonna be four soon. We will walk fast one day!

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#31

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The lesbian knitting panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

well it involves a time machine, some ballpoint pens and a whole lot of dumplings. Who's with me?

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#39

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Nathaniel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also why would they? What is the reasoning FOR women taking a man's last name?

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#42

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Autistic apricot
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get so mad at this, if the rest of the clothes turned back, why didn’t the shoe? And also if the shoe didn’t turn back when it fell off, why didn’t she take off other things so they would stay?

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Lace Neil
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Spongebob Squarepants! Who died in the oil spill caused by BP?

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#45

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#56

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Nathaniel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like what you did with your leaves. Can you send me a pic with you not wearing your bark?

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#58

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Nathaniel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Women getting tattoos is disgraceful, what next? They'll be getting the vote?

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#61

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N Miller
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The person asking the question also has no idea that Musk isn't an inventor, but an investor. That wealth grows over time and get-rich-quick schemes are 99% scams. They probably believe in pulling oneself up by the bootstraps and the American Dream is still attainable. Bless 'em

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#62

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censorshipsucks
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

personally I'd feel safer as an african with their tyres gone. At least I won't get shot for walking in the street.

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#64

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Tamra
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The right absolutely chooses violence, but in subversive ways. Curtailing women's rights over their own bodies, resulting in more deaths from botched abortions; anti-LGBTQ rhetoric resulting in more violence against that group; steadfastly against gun control...need I go on?

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#65

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Nathaniel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So what? I have a book and sat quietly with a pint in the corner. Just who is wasting their energy not liking me?

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The lesbian knitting panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

and that's why we don't give strangers our Venmo, always give social security number first-so you can trust them.

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#75

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Wadofbees
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Both of these things still took a lot of effort and work to produce tho.

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The lesbian knitting panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sir this is the maths department for a highschool they're not supposed to learn about that for another few years

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