Call the fire department, thats is not a burn, thats a frikking forest fire....

what if you’re a disabled werewolf

I mean Britain in a sentence tbh

Ugh, obnoxious hateful b*tch. Has she not crawled back under her rock yet. Could've done with her name being censored - the less air time this oxygen thief is given the better

if the shoes are long enough that takes care of social distancing

They forgot to mention the historical forcing conversion to Atheism through torture and/or being killed...

Yeah, that’s because we’re so.... I can’t be bothered to finish that sentence 🥱😴

Members of the Church of Satan are some of the most charitable and humane people around! It's only feared because of the name.

i think he’s hacking the ENTIRE system

And also, expecting them to be happy is first of all sexist, and also dumb because how would they be happy when so many problems plague femalekind, like pink tax, groping, jerks like this guy, etc. Today in my bus some guy apparently pulled up the shirt of & touched this girl in her private parts. That girl is a 4th grader, and that guy is that age or younger! (my school goes from Nursery to 12th grade).

Haters gonna hate. Potatoes gonna potate. Karens gonna talk to a lawyer about suing an underage child. Something tells me there's more than just hairstyle why kids call that karen, karen.

Lol, apply líquid nitrogen to the calcinated área....

sorry that's too big a number for Timmy to handle

Jenni is going places and she has my vote. What a gutsy intelligent young lady.

My granddad died of Parkinson’s so it would be a slap in the face for me if a cure is discovered now

"Okayden" slays me every time

These brands are like a pets fast food- it tastes great so pets love it but there is no real nutrition value.

certainly played a part in my communism love story comrade

the burn department has been overrun today

the dishwasher is a scary thing, nearly as terrifying as the microwave

We AlL KnoW mORe gUnS MaKE uS SAfeR FrOM GuN vioLENce tHAt iS WhY UsA Is thE SaFESt CoUNtrY iN thE WOrlD.

literally a f*****g apple

Damn

Ouch!!!

True beauty comes from the inside. This new gf must be a better person than the ex.

Plus that would be awful to sleep in

and PASSPORTS! EVERY COUNTRY YOU'VE BEEN TO HAD THOSE!! THE HORRORR

Isn't a social security number how the government knows who you are and stuff?

I smile ALL THE TIME so they won't recognise me because I am not allowed to smile in my license photo or my passport photo😁😁😁

Let's just start with school pictures - the gov has them too

I suppose he thinks your Social Security number is the mark of the beast?

And there's probably a government agency that collects school class photos.

But voter ID is evil somehow??

ID cards

Or say you have your face clearly showing in your avatar...

If all women protected their virginities ( I am cringing at this sentence by the way) how would all these studs of men, these players, get their end away?

Yeah, move

Now thats a funny pitch lol.

well it involves a time machine, some ballpoint pens and a whole lot of dumplings. Who's with me?

CEOs: what is this thing you call a “living wage”

i don’t know what my body is but it has a lot of cat hair

Gotta appreciate the honesty

That's crazy

Still cracks me up no matter how many times I read it

What did the Romans ever do for us?

through the ROOF like a REAL man

Also why would they? What is the reasoning FOR women taking a man's last name?

Or when anti-vaxxers tweet that they’re pro-life!...... too soon?

20,000, jeez! That's some commitment!

I get so mad at this, if the rest of the clothes turned back, why didn’t the shoe? And also if the shoe didn’t turn back when it fell off, why didn’t she take off other things so they would stay?

do. not. put. the. salmon. in. the. wet. towels. and. then. the. microwave.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Spongebob Squarepants! Who died in the oil spill caused by BP?