Call the fire department, thats is not a burn, thats a frikking forest fire....

what if you’re a disabled werewolf

I mean Britain in a sentence tbh

Ugh, obnoxious hateful b*tch. Has she not crawled back under her rock yet. Could've done with her name being censored - the less air time this oxygen thief is given the better

if the shoes are long enough that takes care of social distancing

They forgot to mention the historical forcing conversion to Atheism through torture and/or being killed...

Yeah, that’s because we’re so.... I can’t be bothered to finish that sentence 🥱😴

Members of the Church of Satan are some of the most charitable and humane people around! It's only feared because of the name.

i think he’s hacking the ENTIRE system

And also, expecting them to be happy is first of all sexist, and also dumb because how would they be happy when so many problems plague femalekind, like pink tax, groping, jerks like this guy, etc. Today in my bus some guy apparently pulled up the shirt of & touched this girl in her private parts. That girl is a 4th grader, and that guy is that age or younger! (my school goes from Nursery to 12th grade).

Haters gonna hate. Potatoes gonna potate. Karens gonna talk to a lawyer about suing an underage child. Something tells me there's more than just hairstyle why kids call that karen, karen.

Lol, apply líquid nitrogen to the calcinated área....

sorry that's too big a number for Timmy to handle

Jenni is going places and she has my vote. What a gutsy intelligent young lady.

My granddad died of Parkinson’s so it would be a slap in the face for me if a cure is discovered now

"Okayden" slays me every time

These brands are like a pets fast food- it tastes great so pets love it but there is no real nutrition value.

certainly played a part in my communism love story comrade

the burn department has been overrun today

the dishwasher is a scary thing, nearly as terrifying as the microwave

We AlL KnoW mORe gUnS MaKE uS SAfeR FrOM GuN vioLENce tHAt iS WhY UsA Is thE SaFESt CoUNtrY iN thE WOrlD.

literally a f*****g apple

Damn

Ouch!!!

True beauty comes from the inside. This new gf must be a better person than the ex.

Plus that would be awful to sleep in

and PASSPORTS! EVERY COUNTRY YOU'VE BEEN TO HAD THOSE!! THE HORRORR

If all women protected their virginities ( I am cringing at this sentence by the way) how would all these studs of men, these players, get their end away?

Yeah, move

teenages do not have super speed, therefore disproving that statement.

The most MASSACHUSETTs thing I've seen on the internet.

Yes, god danmit move.

Bit here’s the jaded statistic: people who walk faster *with a purpose* are healthier & happier than slower walkers. It’s only people who walk fast without purpose who are less happy. These shady skewed “studies” are easy to Google.

I'm a slow walker (I'm disabled and use a walking stick). If I'm in your way, please say "Excuse me" and I will move for you.

My legs are so long that I naturally have a high rate of speed. If I try to walk the speed of everybody else then I have trouble to defying gravity. Move your a*s to the right.

Walk faster. Healthier and burns more calories

*losing sanity after getting trapped behind a slow crowd with no way around them*

YES IT'S SO ANNOYINGGG

I haaate slowly walking people. And they somehow know when I am in a serious hurry And intetntionally blocks my way

For real though.

Dont get me started with the slow drivers in the fast lane....ugh!

I walk fast cause I'm gay

I walk slow because I have damage nerves in my right foot and im not happy about it.

Now thats a funny pitch lol.

well it involves a time machine, some ballpoint pens and a whole lot of dumplings. Who's with me?

CEOs: what is this thing you call a “living wage”

i don’t know what my body is but it has a lot of cat hair

Gotta appreciate the honesty

That's crazy

Still cracks me up no matter how many times I read it