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Comeback refers to a quick reply to a critical remark which basically shuts down the critic immediately. The best comebacks are always a step ahead in restoring karma, defending the accused ones, and making that snap which is entertaining to anyone who witnesses it.

And since experiencing a real-life clapback which is both fun and witty is somewhat rare, we turn to the internet, or this Twitter page, to be precise, to give ourselves a masterclass in savage comebacks.

Named “Clever Comebacks,” the page is busy sharing exactly what it promises in the title and from 75.5k followers, it seems like it’s doing a pretty good job. More masterclass comebacks from the same account can be found in our previous feature right here!

#1

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Paulo Freitas
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Call the fire department, thats is not a burn, thats a frikking forest fire....

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#2

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Alexandra Davis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Eugh as a young (30's) disabled woman I have sadly met many people with this same view point. Some people have some weird ideas about disabled people and I've even had to call the police on one guy who started attacking me and my car when I was legally parked in a disabled bay displaying my disabled parking badge because he didn't think at 28 I could be disabled- despite my wheelchair being next to me in the seat!

keighterz
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people seem to think it’s their responsibility to police others. We get this with our 4yo who uses mobility devices. Have been told by store employees and other randoms that the handicap spot is reserved for people who actually need it and we can’t park there. Get dirty looks when we park because they see an able bodied woman driving. Have been verbally attacked by random strangers. You’d think they’d have some shame and stop yelling once they see my kid but nope. I legit only use the handicap parking when my son is with me so if I’m running errands while he’s at school I use regular parking because I would feel horrible if I took a spot that someone else needed. His life is hard enough, this world is not designed for him, just let us park where we need to.

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Tamra
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How about you just be grateful that you aren't disabled, Daniel, and let other people live their damn lives, eh?

Yayheterogeneity
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, why should someone as disgusting as the disabled be allowed to live a self-fulfilled, happy life? Let 's better keep them chained up in a basement!

Yayheterogeneity
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sometimes I would love to disable a person like this Daniel Lawson for a week just to let them experience what that means... That self-centered prick!

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Ela
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dear Daniel, sometimes my disabilities keep me from getting the shopping done during your 9-5. Why, I may be out until 9 or 10 PM!/s And sometimes I am at the feed store getting nice able-bodied youngsters to load feed and animal bedding for me at 7 am. Yep, I live by a farm clock which cares not one bit for your puny 9-5.

Mary Rogers
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As someone who is disabled, I find this astonishingly ignorant. So disabled people shouldn't be allowed to have a life and go out in the evenings like normal people?

Danish Susanne
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of my surprise, when I couldn find a thing like a bicycle light made for my walker. As if I was supposed to go out only in full sunlight.

Melissa Hamed
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Daniel is an idiot. He might need disability parking cuz he's definitely brain damaged.

Tom Wilhelm
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Try to imagine yourself being handicapped. Your needs are like anyone else who is not handicapped. Would you like to be told that you cannot be in a parking lot after 5:00 PM? It's hard enough having to deal with being handicapped, but to have to put up with people who do not know the definition of compassion and love is really sometimes too much.

Trent Tulpo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would werewolves be out and about 9-5 M-F? Aren't they out on a full moon?

Jane Alexander
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Then you must be in by 5 Daniel because of your obvious mental disability

Helen Taylor
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, because of course disabled persons never want to grocery shop, go to the movies, go out to eat, or otherwise enjoy themselves. Also any employee disabled person of course only works 9 to 5. I’m afraid you’re a complete idiot.

Tina Hugh
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This opinion is so weird, I wonder if he just posted it to get attention

Ghaniyah Verma
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's apparently a condition called lycanthropy in which people actually think they're turning into an animal. It's rare, too. I might be wrong. If I am, please correct me.

Viki Short
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually I'm a vampire so I ONLY go out at night. Daylight Savings Time really messes up us vampires.

Anyone-for-tea?
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No matter how key times I see this, it doesn’t make sense, he is saying people with disabilities don’t need to go out at night, but surely werewolves only go out at night? Or is she saying she might be a werewolf who doesn’t want to metamorphosis into a werewolf? Isn’t it better to say we have disabilities, we’re not babies (presuming babies don’t need to go out at night??) Lycanthropy is confusing!

Timbob
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Was this at the roller rink, on Fletcher last Thursday?

Epona
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also, stores are sometimes open past 5 PM. Which I guess is Jennifer's point.

StarlightPanda!
Community Member
2 years ago

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In a previous interview, Bored Panda spoke with Abigail Paul, an actress, standup comedian and improviser who has been giving seminars on incorporating theatre techniques for purposes beyond the stage to schools, businesses and organizations.

Abigail argues that the secret to any comeback is connection. “If you are really listening to (and connecting with) another person, you are taking them in fully, aware of who they are, the context in which you are dealing with this person,” she said.

#4

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N Miller
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ugh, obnoxious hateful b*tch. Has she not crawled back under her rock yet. Could've done with her name being censored - the less air time this oxygen thief is given the better

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#6

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TooTall
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They forgot to mention the historical forcing conversion to Atheism through torture and/or being killed...

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Moreover, according to the comedian, people do this assessment unconsciously. In fact, we aren't even always aware that we are always sizing up other people. “This is too often because we are so focused on ourselves.” A great comeback feels great because it was earned, Abigail argues. “It was spontaneous. The commenter was probably really listening. It was unique to that moment, set of people, situation,” she told us some time ago.

#7

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Hotdogking
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, that’s because we’re so.... I can’t be bothered to finish that sentence 🥱😴

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#8

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Jaaawn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Members of the Church of Satan are some of the most charitable and humane people around! It's only feared because of the name.

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One of the biggest challenges in saying a comeback is making sure it doesn’t sound mean. But Abigail reminds us that a comeback is not a clapback. The latter one “is generally sarcastic, but a clapback might be fun among friends.”

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At the same time, the context of a situation always matters. “In working on status exercises in improv, we try to get people to see that the easiest way to raise another person's status is to lower their own. We see that in standup comedy too. Usually it works best if the comic is the butt of the joke, not the audience. (There are plenty of exceptions.)”

#10

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girlsrock4ever
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And also, expecting them to be happy is first of all sexist, and also dumb because how would they be happy when so many problems plague femalekind, like pink tax, groping, jerks like this guy, etc. Today in my bus some guy apparently pulled up the shirt of & touched this girl in her private parts. That girl is a 4th grader, and that guy is that age or younger! (my school goes from Nursery to 12th grade).

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#11

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Bender Bending Rodríguez
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Haters gonna hate. Potatoes gonna potate. Karens gonna talk to a lawyer about suing an underage child. Something tells me there's more than just hairstyle why kids call that karen, karen.

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While you don’t need to be too self-effacing for a good comeback, if it can lift other people up, the job is done. “When it works well and gains the speaker a laugh and cements the bond that says, we are in this together,” Abigail explained.

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While comebacks can be used as an excellent communication tool, listening skills are the most important thing. “Paying attention, making accurate observations about the people in the room, and how they feel—these are the tools that will make a comeback really shine,” Abigail explained.

#14

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Caro Caro
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jenni is going places and she has my vote. What a gutsy intelligent young lady.

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#15

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Hotdogking
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My granddad died of Parkinson’s so it would be a slap in the face for me if a cure is discovered now

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#17

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Rowlie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These brands are like a pets fast food- it tastes great so pets love it but there is no real nutrition value.

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#20

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waddles
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

the dishwasher is a scary thing, nearly as terrifying as the microwave

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#21

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Nathaniel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We AlL KnoW mORe gUnS MaKE uS SAfeR FrOM GuN vioLENce tHAt iS WhY UsA Is thE SaFESt CoUNtrY iN thE WOrlD.

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#25

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Marleinah Smith
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

True beauty comes from the inside. This new gf must be a better person than the ex.

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#28

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Nathaniel
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If all women protected their virginities ( I am cringing at this sentence by the way) how would all these studs of men, these players, get their end away?

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#31

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The lesbian knitting panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

well it involves a time machine, some ballpoint pens and a whole lot of dumplings. Who's with me?

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#39

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Nathaniel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also why would they? What is the reasoning FOR women taking a man's last name?

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#42

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Autistic apricot
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get so mad at this, if the rest of the clothes turned back, why didn’t the shoe? And also if the shoe didn’t turn back when it fell off, why didn’t she take off other things so they would stay?

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#44

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Lace Neil
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Spongebob Squarepants! Who died in the oil spill caused by BP?

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#45

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#56

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Nathaniel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like what you did with your leaves. Can you send me a pic with you not wearing your bark?

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#58

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Nathaniel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Women getting tattoos is disgraceful, what next? They'll be getting the vote?

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#61

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N Miller
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The person asking the question also has no idea that Musk isn't an inventor, but an investor. That wealth grows over time and get-rich-quick schemes are 99% scams. They probably believe in pulling oneself up by the bootstraps and the American Dream is still attainable. Bless 'em

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#62

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censorshipsucks
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

personally I'd feel safer as an african with their tyres gone. At least I won't get shot for walking in the street.

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#64

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Tamra
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The right absolutely chooses violence, but in subversive ways. Curtailing women's rights over their own bodies, resulting in more deaths from botched abortions; anti-LGBTQ rhetoric resulting in more violence against that group; steadfastly against gun control...need I go on?

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#65

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Nathaniel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So what? I have a book and sat quietly with a pint in the corner. Just who is wasting their energy not liking me?

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#74

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The lesbian knitting panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

and that's why we don't give strangers our Venmo, always give social security number first-so you can trust them.

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#75

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Wadofbees
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Both of these things still took a lot of effort and work to produce tho.

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#77

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The lesbian knitting panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sir this is the maths department for a highschool they're not supposed to learn about that for another few years

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