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Have you ever wondered what to say to a person celebrating their birthday? Sure, a simple “Happy birthday!” would do, but hey, it’s a special day, so it’s only fitting to have a special congratulations line. That’s where funny birthday quotes come in. With so many birthday wishes around, you will surely find one that is unique, funny, and touching!
When the day of birth comes, the main topic often is age. Depending on who you are congratulating, these hilarious birthday quotes should touch on aging, the wisdom that comes with it, and rebelliousness, all with a touch of comedy.
Wishing congratulations to someone comes in all shapes and forms, so if you need some funny happy birthday quotes to avoid a ruined birthday and perhaps wish a long-distance friend (or a family member) a happy birthday over social media, these lines will work great as captions too.
So don’t wait any longer and dig into this collection of funny birthday quotes. Vote for your favorites and surprise your celebrating friends or family members with a line or two!

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#1

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Inside every older person is a younger person—wondering what the hell happened.” — Jennifer Yane

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#2

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “The older you get the better you get, unless you are a banana.“ – Betty White

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#3

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody.“ — George Burns

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#4

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.” — Ogden Nash

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#5

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.” — Robert Frost

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#6

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Eventually you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.“ — Will Rogers

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#7

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” — Eubie Blake

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#8

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.” — Phyllis Diller

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#9

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Life really does begin at forty. Up until then, you are just doing research.“ — Carl G. Jung

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Chris Harr
Chris Harr
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some of us studied harder than others and sadly, it shows. 😆

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#10

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “You're not forty, you're eighteen with twenty-two years experience.“ – Unknown

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#11

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.” — Unknown

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#12

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything.“ — Oscar Wilde

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#13

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” — Sir Norman Wisdom

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#14

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.” — Ogden Nash

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#15

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty.” — Joan Rivers

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#16

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Every year on my birthday, I start a new playlist titled after my current age so I can keep track of my favorite songs of the year as a sort of musical diary because I am a teenage girl.“ — Chris Hardwick

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#17

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Why is a birthday cake the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece?“ – Bobby Kelton

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#18

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Middle age is when you still believe you’ll feel better in the morning.“ — Bob Hope

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#19

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.” — Herbert Asquith

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#20

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed.“ – Anthony Powell

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#21

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” — Lucille Ball

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Adam Zad
Adam Zad
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On my last birthday, I turned 21... for the 34th year in a row.

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#22

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it.” — Eva Gabor

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#23

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.” — Charles Schultz

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#24

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “They tell you that you’ll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it very much.” — Malcolm Cowley

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#25

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody’s drunk in the kitchen.“ – Jim Gaffigan

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#26

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “I think all this talk about age is foolish. Every time I’m one year older, everyone else is too.“ — Gloria Swanson

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#27

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Please don’t retouch my wrinkles. It took me so long to earn them.“ — Anna Magnani

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#28

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.” — Dorothy Canfield Fisher

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#29

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.“

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#30

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.“ — John Glenn

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#31

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.” — Tom Wilson

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#32

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “To my surprise, my 70s are nicer than my 60s and my 60s than my 50s, and I wouldn’t wish my teens and 20s on my enemies.“ — Lionel Blue

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Magnolia Bayou Burke
Magnolia Bayou Burke
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My 30s are better than my 20s, I hope my 40s are better than my 30s and so on, I wouldn't wish my younger life on anyone.

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#33

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” — Jack Benny

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#34

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.” — Mark Twain

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Tim Lynch
Tim Lynch
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now I barely remember being younger, though I'm pretty sure it happened...

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#35

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “We must both, I'm afraid, recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars - more and more repairs and replacements are necessary.“ — C. S. Lewis

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#36

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “The first hundred years are the hardest.“ — Wilson Mizner

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Annie Bieber
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tru Dat!! My Great Grandma's live to 109 and nine months. 💜

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#37

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Don’t regret another birthday, the good news is that you are alive and can celebrate it.” — Catherine Pulsifer

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Amanda B Bench
Amanda B Bench
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's been my thought too since turning 40. Glad to be around to keep celebrating them!

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#38

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.’“ — Jerry Seinfeld

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Rosemary Probert
Rosemary Probert
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The fire brigade advised against putting a candle on your cake for every year, but that was OK as the shop didn't have that many in stock anyway.

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#39

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Aging is the worst side effect of birthdays.“

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Nicholas Hodsdon
Nicholas Hodsdon
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live

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#40

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.” — Golda Meir

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#41

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” — C.E.M. Joad

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Russ Kincade
Russ Kincade
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I heard a woman say "Men are like carpet - if you lay them right the first time, you can walk on them forever!"

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#42

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?“ — Satchel Paige

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#43

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.” — Dave Barry

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Gail Cannon
Gail Cannon
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you'd just eat more sea urchin gonads, you'd pass the time of wanting to, Dave.... Gail Cannon

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#44

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “From birth to age eighteen, a girl needs good parents. From eighteen to thirty-five, she needs good looks. From thirty-five to fifty-five, she needs a good personality. From fifty-five on, she needs good cash.“ – Sophie Tucker

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Jody Whitmarsh
Jody Whitmarsh
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love that none of these life phases says"needs a man"

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#45

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” — Maurice Chevalier

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Dawn C
Dawn C
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

as some who just survived a sudden cardiac arrest.....I AGREE!!!

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#46

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “You’ve heard of the three ages of man: Youth, middle age, and you’re looking wonderful.” — Cardinal Spellman

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Adam Zad
Adam Zad
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The Three Stages of a Man's Sex Life: Tri-Weekly; Try, Weekly; and Try, Weakly.

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#47

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.“ – Joan Rivers

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#48

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.” — Mary Schmich

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Chris Harr
Chris Harr
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Every year my dear friend Marlene celebrated her 29th birthday. She did this until she died somewhere in her mid 90's. Even her own kids didn't know exactly how old she was. 😊

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#49

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.” — Kin Hubbard

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#50

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.“ – Truman Capote

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Note: this post originally had 101 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.

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