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50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging

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Have you ever wondered what to say to a person celebrating their birthday? Sure, a simple “Happy birthday!” would do, but hey, it’s a special day, so it’s only fitting to have a special congratulations line. That’s where funny birthday quotes come in. With so many birthday wishes around, you will surely find one that is unique, funny, and touching!
When the day of birth comes, the main topic often is age. Depending on who you are congratulating, these hilarious birthday quotes should touch on aging, the wisdom that comes with it, and rebelliousness, all with a touch of comedy.
Wishing congratulations to someone comes in all shapes and forms, so if you need some funny happy birthday quotes to avoid a ruined birthday and perhaps wish a long-distance friend (or a family member) a happy birthday over social media, these lines will work great as captions too.
So don’t wait any longer and dig into this collection of funny birthday quotes. Vote for your favorites and surprise your celebrating friends or family members with a line or two!

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Inside every older person is a younger person—wondering what the hell happened.” — Jennifer Yane

259points

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#2

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “The older you get the better you get, unless you are a banana.“ – Betty White

239points

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#3

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody.“ — George Burns

230points

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#4

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.” — Ogden Nash

218points

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#5

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.” — Robert Frost

209points

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#6

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Eventually you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.“ — Will Rogers

199points

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#7

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” — Eubie Blake

184points

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#8

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.” — Phyllis Diller

176points

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#9

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Life really does begin at forty. Up until then, you are just doing research.“ — Carl G. Jung

171points

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#10

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “You're not forty, you're eighteen with twenty-two years experience.“ – Unknown

170points

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#11

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.” — Unknown

159points

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#12

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything.“ — Oscar Wilde

151points

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#13

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” — Sir Norman Wisdom

143points

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#14

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.” — Ogden Nash

140points

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#15

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty.” — Joan Rivers

136points

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#16

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Every year on my birthday, I start a new playlist titled after my current age so I can keep track of my favorite songs of the year as a sort of musical diary because I am a teenage girl.“ — Chris Hardwick

131points

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#17

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Why is a birthday cake the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece?“ – Bobby Kelton

124points

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#18

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Middle age is when you still believe you’ll feel better in the morning.“ — Bob Hope

123points

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#19

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.” — Herbert Asquith

121points

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#20

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed.“ – Anthony Powell

119points

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#21

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” — Lucille Ball

116points

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#22

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it.” — Eva Gabor

116points

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#23

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.” — Charles Schultz

113points

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#24

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “They tell you that you’ll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it very much.” — Malcolm Cowley

110points

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#25

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody’s drunk in the kitchen.“ – Jim Gaffigan

109points

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#26

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “I think all this talk about age is foolish. Every time I’m one year older, everyone else is too.“ — Gloria Swanson

109points

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#27

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Please don’t retouch my wrinkles. It took me so long to earn them.“ — Anna Magnani

105points

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#28

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.” — Dorothy Canfield Fisher

97points

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#29

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.“

96points

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#30

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.“ — John Glenn

95points

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#31

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.” — Tom Wilson

93points

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#32

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “To my surprise, my 70s are nicer than my 60s and my 60s than my 50s, and I wouldn’t wish my teens and 20s on my enemies.“ — Lionel Blue

93points

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#33

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” — Jack Benny

90points

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#34

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.” — Mark Twain

87points

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#35

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “We must both, I'm afraid, recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars - more and more repairs and replacements are necessary.“ — C. S. Lewis

79points

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#36

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “The first hundred years are the hardest.“ — Wilson Mizner

79points

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#37

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Don’t regret another birthday, the good news is that you are alive and can celebrate it.” — Catherine Pulsifer

78points

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#38

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.’“ — Jerry Seinfeld

78points

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#39

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Aging is the worst side effect of birthdays.“

70points

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#40

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.” — Golda Meir

69points

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#41

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” — C.E.M. Joad

68points

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#42

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?“ — Satchel Paige

68points

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#43

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.” — Dave Barry

66points

#44

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “From birth to age eighteen, a girl needs good parents. From eighteen to thirty-five, she needs good looks. From thirty-five to fifty-five, she needs a good personality. From fifty-five on, she needs good cash.“ – Sophie Tucker

66points

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#45

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” — Maurice Chevalier

62points

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#46

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “You’ve heard of the three ages of man: Youth, middle age, and you’re looking wonderful.” — Cardinal Spellman

59points

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#47

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.“ – Joan Rivers

59points

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#48

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.” — Mary Schmich

57points

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#49

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.” — Kin Hubbard

54points

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#50

50 Funny Birthday Quotes To Slow Down The Aging “Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.“ – Truman Capote

52points

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#51

“Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I need an upgrade.“

40points

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#52

“Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive, it isn’t.” — Richard Bach

38points

#53

“A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.” — Erma Bombeck

38points

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#54

“The good thing about getting older is if you don’t want to do something you can say, I’m too old to do that!” — Kate Summers

38points

#55

“I believe that no matter what condition you are in when someone close to your heart remembers your birthday and wishes you a happy birthday, you feel happy.“ – A. Singla

36points

#56

“Middle age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature.” — Harold Coffin

35points

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#57

“After 30, a body has a mind of its own.” — Bette Midler

34points

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#58

“You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” — Larry Lorenzoni

33points

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#59

“Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for old age.“ — Booth Tarkington

33points

#60

“The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you’ll grow out of it.” — Doris Day

32points

#61

“Birthdays are a great time to stop and appreciate gravity. Sure, it makes things sag as you get older, but it also keeps your cake from flying all over the room, so you don’t have to chase it.“ – Greg Tamblyn

30points

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#62

“For me, the end of childhood came when the number of candles on my birthday cake no longer reflected my age, around 19 or 20. From then on, each candle came to represent an entire decade.“ — Yotam Ottolenghi

29points

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#63

“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” — Daniel Francois Esprit Auber

28points

#64

“Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday I will forget yours if you forget mine!” — Kate Summers

27points

#65

“I don’t pay attention to the number of birthdays. It’s weird when I say I’m 53. It just is crazy that I’m 53. I think I’m very immature. I feel like a kid. That’s why my back goes out all the time, because I completely forget I can’t do certain things anymore–like doing the plank for 10 minutes.“ – Ellen DeGeneres

27points

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#66

“There is still no cure for the common birthday.” — John Glenn

26points

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#67

“If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.” — Euripedes

26points

#68

“One of the best parts of growing older? You can flirt all you like since you’ve become harmless.” — Liz Smith

24points

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#69

“Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.” — Robert Frost

24points

#70

“Don’t just count your years, make your years count.” — George Meredith

24points

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#71

“Romance novels are birthday cake and life is often peanut butter and jelly. I think everyone should have lots of delicious romance novels lying around for those times when the peanut butter of life gets stuck to the roof of your mouth.“ – Janet Evanovich

24points

#72

“First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.” — Leo Rosenberg

23points

#73

“Of late I appear to have reached that stage when people who look old who are only my age.” — Richard Armour

23points

#74

“When the candles on your cake burn down before they are all lit you know you are getting up there.“ – Catherine Pulsifer

23points

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#75

“Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.“ — Douglas Coupland

22points

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#76

“We don’t grow old. When we cease to grow, we become old.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

21points

#77

“When you turn thirty, a whole new thing happens: you see yourself acting like your parents.” — Blair Sabol

21points

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#78

“The reason I met my husband was because I remembered a friend’s birthday. The moral of the story is: Remember people’s birthdays.“ — Julianna Margulies

21points

#79

“You’re in mint condition for a vintage model. Happy Birthday!” — Catherine Pulsifer

20points

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#80

“There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents, and only one for birthday presents, you know.“ — Lewis Carroll

20points

#81

“Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you’re exactly the same.“ — Audrey Hepburn

20points

#82

“I hope your birthday celebration is full of many memorable moments, and that you can actually remember some of them the next day.“

20points

#83

“A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.” — R. C. Ferguson

19points

#84

“Every age can be enchanting, provided you live within it.“ — Brigitte Bardot

19points

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#85

“The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.“ — H. V. Prochnow

19points

#86

“Happy Birthday! How does it feel to be REDACTED years old?“

19points

#87

“Turning the big 40, well that can seem like a blow. No worries though as 50 will be here before you know!” — Catherine Pulsifer

18points

#88

“A birth date is a reminder to celebrate the life as well as to update the life.“ — Amit Kalantri

18points

#89

“At twenty years of age, the will reigns; at thirty, the wit; and at forty, the judgement.“ — Benjamin Franklin

18points

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#90

“Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.” — Ogden Nash

16points

#91

“It’s sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.” — Brigitte Bardot

16points

#92

“As you get older, though, you realize there are fire extinguishers. You do have an ability to control the flames.” — Chaka Khan

15points

#93

“You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” — Woody Allen

14points

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#94

“Happy Birthday to you, we hope that all year you never feel blue. Now that you are fifty-five, we hope that you will survive.” — Marcia Goldlist

13points

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#95

“Cakes are special. Every birthday, every celebration ends with something sweet, a cake, and people remember. It’s all about the memories.“ — Buddy Valastro

13points

#96

“Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.” — Golda Meir

12points

#97

“We are always the same age inside.“ – Gertrude Stein

12points

#98

“I like birthday cake. It’s so symbolic. It’s a tempting symbol to load with something more complicated than just ‘Happy birthday!’ because it’s this emblem of childhood and a happy day.“ — Aimee Bender

11points

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#99

“Old age deprives the intelligent man only of qualities useless to wisdom.“ – Joseph Joubert

11points

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#100

“I’m six foot eleven. My birthday covers three days.“ – Darryl Dawkins

11points

#101

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” — Mark Twain

9points

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Neilas Šurkus

I'm Neilas, Content Production Manager for Bored Panda in the Home & Design category. In this role, I try to ensure the quality of our articles to bring the best possible web surfing experience to our readers. I love a well-structured, informative, and illustrative article, whether it's for design ideas, gardening solutions, or cute dogs and cats. I made it my mission to ensure our readers get to experience the same thing. As for my personal interests, I produce music, sometimes go out and take pictures of nice stuff, and have petrol running through my veins. I'm an avid fan of Formula 1 and Motorsport in general, taking every chance I get to burn some rubber at local go-cart tracks. Of course, movies, gaming, and racing simulators are a big part of my daily life, too.

I'm Neilas, Content Production Manager for Bored Panda in the Home & Design category. In this role, I try to ensure the quality of our articles to bring the best possible web surfing experience to our readers. I love a well-structured, informative, and illustrative article, whether it's for design ideas, gardening solutions, or cute dogs and cats. I made it my mission to ensure our readers get to experience the same thing. As for my personal interests, I produce music, sometimes go out and take pictures of nice stuff, and have petrol running through my veins. I'm an avid fan of Formula 1 and Motorsport in general, taking every chance I get to burn some rubber at local go-cart tracks. Of course, movies, gaming, and racing simulators are a big part of my daily life, too.

Saimonas Lukošius

Saimonas is a list curator at Bored Panda with BA in Multimedia. Saimonas has mainly worked as a freelance graphic designer, illustrator and finds joy in anything related to visual arts.

Saimonas is a list curator at Bored Panda with BA in Multimedia. Saimonas has mainly worked as a freelance graphic designer, illustrator and finds joy in anything related to visual arts.

Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Robertas Lisickis

Some time ago, Robertas used to spend his days watching how deep the imprint in his chair will become as he wrote for Bored Panda. Wrote about pretty much everything under and beyond the sun. Not anymore, though. He's now probably playing Gwent or hosting Dungeons and Dragons adventures for those with an inclination for chaos.

Some time ago, Robertas used to spend his days watching how deep the imprint in his chair will become as he wrote for Bored Panda. Wrote about pretty much everything under and beyond the sun. Not anymore, though. He's now probably playing Gwent or hosting Dungeons and Dragons adventures for those with an inclination for chaos.

Monika Pašukonytė

I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

What do you think ?

Phyzzi 2 years ago

This list will be so much better once it is short, here's hoping some of the especially cringe ones doon't make the cut.

3points

Thea Bøwadt 2 years ago

Two of these are the same quote 😮‍💨

0points

Phyzzi 2 years ago

This list will be so much better once it is short, here's hoping some of the especially cringe ones doon't make the cut.

3points

Thea Bøwadt 2 years ago

Two of these are the same quote 😮‍💨

0points

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