He wouldn't meow at the cupboard waiting for you to come and open it for a treat...he'd bring the cupboard to you.

If you are what you eat, and he ate your card, either he was trying to become you or stationery.

did the Rock pay for these drawings?

And cooking lasagna, right?

Do idiots actually do this? (I don’t know why I’m surprised!)

This kid knows what he's doing

Then you gonna tell me this ain't Jupiter JUPITER-63...54623d.jpg

...And i woula gotten away with it if it werent for you meddling anti-Ricky-Pee-Pees!

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over?

So many questions.

Are you sure it’s cosplay?

For some reason I read “Please don’t kill my wife” in the nickelodeon tune

"Please don't kill my wife" could be a valid reply to "B***h don't kill my vibe".

In fairness, it was easy to get confused. He was married to a Kardassian.

Uh oh, this could be bad!

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The problem we should solve is what is messing up OP’s mind

I've never wanted to lick something more in my life

Now keep the cakes coming buddy.

woah my god thats too far mario...

Seems legit.

I can just imagine it now.... *Aldi worker frantically scanning groceries like each can of tomato soup is filled with spiders that might burst at any moment and give them an anti-vaxx speech*

I... suppose those could be considered presents...

#Edumacation

Really? it wasn't when someone tattooed your face while you were high?

"I pity the fool who pokes me"

0 words of encouragement, I notice..........May I suggest activating your own, say, "Defence systems engaged", then kick him in the nuggets?

........and everyone does their time.

I love the plate in the background

This smacks of boulder shaming. All boulders are exactly the size of the boulders that they are

I'm trying to remember if I actually did watch a video about cheese on youtube when I was working from home... 🤔

Nah.... you're just seeing him without his man-makeup (beard 'n' stache)!

Antonio looks a bit pricey for $45. Is he house trained? Does he do tricks? Can he cook?

So.. it's Nemo in the image? The stripes check out, but I'm slightly confused.

He's old as hell. Best excuse to not do anything at that age.

Well everyone has to start somewhere

Really BP? Really? It's a plane cockpit not an actual c**k.

Maggie Simpson is very scary, no? :D

I haven't had it. I can't disprove his theory.

His GF?

Me too

Served by Fiona after an argument no doubt

Asking for a friend -- Veruca Salt

Blatant misuse of the scale bananas. Shame on you.

He tried. He failed.

Let's hope this is the last item on his bucket list

What's worse than crawfish in your car? Crabs on your organ. Hi-yo!

Well, surprising news from that erudite fellow.

I mean, fair enough, it's a hard job.

You were Possesed - 7 times last night

*Crashes car through museum*