Divorce party/holiday and a very happy Divorced woman... will be doing this for my sis in law soon 🥳🍹

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I've accidentally had a knife (technically). I had a wallet multi tool card that had a "knife" on the edge of it. The lady found it on my way home cause they had better x-ray machines I guess, and she said it still counted and that I could either mail it to myself or get rid of it.

Me walking past a police patrol totally sober, "What if I seem drunk?" Proceeds to trip over nothing. 😅 Yes it happened something like 20 years ago. Yes, it still keeps me up at night

Then you're an idiot who shouldn't be allowed to own or touch a gun.

You would be a d******d of the highest order.

Small world, sigh

Uhm there's no laws so chips are free

😂’DIE THEN’

Is announcer the professional term for that position?

With my 2 dumb braincells i would think those were real..

What a very interesting way to say "please stuff me in the overhead luggage compartment."

ONE time, out of DECADES of business travel, my connecting flight's gate was directly across the concourse... all of, maybe, 20 steps. Of course, it was a two hour layover.

Where you have to dig through underwear to see if there's a knife in there

Is there a name for this phobia? Like when you have a police car behind you and you start sweating even though you know that the worst thing you ever did was a silent fart in a church?

*Drains you*

Damn, that's dedication.

We're very excited about the footyball. Lol

wjat the 🤣

Yeah they're thinking of something all right...

What a lovely, caring c**t

😆

Yes!

Unless your parents start yell-whispering at you for not moving fast enough or dropping your stuff

Lol!!! I loved that video!!!

You're lucky he was just an immigration officer, and not the fashion police. 😉

oh you want a slice of bread 40$ please

Yes, my bank account cries every time I enter an airport.

I just tell everyone, "sorry, I'm nervous. It's my first time flying." They're always really nice after that 😂

If TSA ever tries to feel my boob for security reasons, I will miss my flight for raising absolute hëll.

Mexican-Italian Fusion.

Mildly related - my mother would agree with you and will tell you this happens because they stopped letting people smoke on planes. According to her they used to cycle the air quite often to keep the smoke moving, and they don't do it the same now.

ONG soooooooo true

It isn't then?

Dress for comfort, always. Don't wanna be stuck in jeans.

Ok, see you at 10.

I must try this next time. I wonder if it also works when I stand in the aisle the second the plane lands at my destination? Can i get off faster?

It was laced with coke.

They were only for personal consumption.

Are you British?

I wonder what they've seen people sneak in sandwiches to make them so untrustworthy.

There's a joke of cleaning out a bottle of shampoo and then filling it with yogurt before going on a flight. When airport security says u can't take that much liquid thru, drink it in front of them.

they need all da coffee shops

Curse that tuna eating one.

Better in than out though

At least she’s not giving them coke so they spin out on the plane.