40 Airline Announcements That Left Passengers In Stitches

I read a thing a female pilot and copilot said: It is no longer the cockpit. It’s the box office.

Bonus...no reversing into spaces as a pilot!

She could also have told them that for this trip, there wasn't a Cockpit, but a BoxOffice!!! hehe

Why do people rush to get off a plane. It's like being in the middle of a scrum. Stay seated wait for the chaos to stop and calmly make your way to baggage reclaim where you'll join your fellow passengers and wait for the luggage to appear on the carousel

My father and me went on a 6 hour flight in bad weather and the seatbelt signs were on the whole trip. He has a bad back and we were going to Florida for his surgery. When the plane was on the ground he stood up and some dude got pissed off at him. If he could not have stood up for a few minutes to stretch he would have had a real had time walking off the plane. Just saying sometimes there is a good reason for standing as soon as you can.

I read a comment from a flight attendant. Plane full of marines on their way home. When the plane stopped, the people in the 1st row stood, got their bags, and walked towards the exit. Next line stood, etc. Plane was empty in something like 5 minutes. She said it was the best flight she had ever worked. So folks. Consider. Exit line by line, try to be a little patient with the idiot with too much stuff. And maybe you'll all be quicker off the plane without shoving people like you're in a rugby scrum.

Die Hard 2

Maybe making like Usain Bolt? I can just envision it now…. Activating the emergency slide. Throwing open the Emergency Exit and using the Emergency Slide to literally ‘bounce,’ onto the Tarmac to sprint off with glee into the sunset….

Would be awesome if it worked though

OK, that's a nifty trick, to reduce troublesome passengers - just put them to (normal) sleep.

And then the colicky babies squeal their defiance.

I’ll bet the pilot says this on every flight because it works.

I sincerely hope no one on the plane actually laughed at this dated sexist "joke"

My poor parents 😄 (I too had “so much potential”); meanwhile my lovely, incredible little sister has worked at the FBI and a couple embassies. She does things to fight for disadvantaged people everywhere and I couldn’t be prouder

And every parents knows exactly which child that'll be

What I would have said is, "If you are traveling with more than one, use who you will mask first as leverage to get them to behave during the flight."

This one is funny

Pity the poor children who are not helped first, but still survive, knowing that their parents value them less than their siblings!

Please check for your belongings, they might not be returned. Children will be returned on sugar high, spouses will be released info their favourite stores🤔😌

I've heard versions of this one on two different Southwest flights.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

A good landing is one you survive, a great landing is one they can reuse the plane.

“Please remain seated with your seatbelts securely fastened until Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the gate.”

Manual landings are very funny: the plane approaches the runway... and suddenly falls a few metres down dropping on the concrete *bamm* ^^

They'd probably sue for assault