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Sometimes life is too fast-paced, but you must make space for the fun. It might take some work to move stuff around to fit that fun side of yourself in, but don't worry! Everything’s possible. To save time and set you on the right track, here are some of the best jokes ever in two lines! It might not seem much, but trust us, they pack a punch!
From hall-of-fame-worthy dad puns to existential jokes about the harshness of life and the competition that comes with it, we have it all. But one always has to see the light side of things! Otherwise, it’d just become too dark. And those a bit dark-humored jokes express just that: people choosing to keep the positivity up and never back down.
We usually don't want to cry, as it is associated with negative emotions, but we all know the feeling of sore stomachs after we had a tear-producing laughing sesh. That’s what we aim to achieve with this list! And there’s no person these shorter jokes can't crack—no matter the age, both children and adults will find them hilarious!
So wait no longer and dig into this list of the best two-line jokes! Share them with your friends and brace for what comes next. We hope we'll achieve our goal and make you laugh so hard your stomach hurts!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Looking Surprised
#2
Big Prize
#3
The Comeback
What are some of the best short jokes you could ever tell your friends?
Only you can decide what kind of joke will relate to your friend the most. We can just provide you with options! It might be that only long jokes will work, but usually, it's the short ones that get you. You can also try silly inside jokes that only you and your friend will understand or some incredibly bad puns that will question your maturity levels.
The secret to delivering the best joke ever to your friend is to find what they're relating to, their interests and hobbies, and so on. By doing that, you'll be able to find a funny joke that will best resonate with your friend and, in turn, provide you with the best possible reaction.
#4
Being Immature
#5
Skydiving Advice
#6
Things They Have In Common
#7
Mixed Feelings
What kind of short funny jokes could you use to make even your father crack up?
Well, now that's a task. Usually, some of the dad puns make us cringe beyond belief, but there are also times when you just can't hide how amazing that joke was.
Most of the time, it's the short dirty jokes that get you. It startles you like a cucumber does a cat; you are surprised and just can't hold back the laughter. But how do you counter that? Well, as the saying goes, you fight fire with fire. Dig out some of the best one-liners in your arsenal (or this list), and get right back at your dad!
#8
Heart Of A Lion
#9
Money Changes Everything
#10
A German Sense Of Humor
#11
Bad Example
#12
Pun Intended
What would be some of the most timeless jokes that would crack up children and adults?
Classic jokes are the foundation of each generation's humor. It's what connects old and young, mature and immature. To relate to both, your best bet would be to leave out adult jokes and focus on those that could be understandable for both parties. Kids' jokes might still be a good bet, though, as they're family-friendly and pack a tremendous comedic punch.
While most jokes are often recycled, modified, and improved by younger generations to better apply to current days, their core remains the same. Because of that, it can reach a wide range of audiences without leaving out any particular age group. So pick your jokes well, analyze your surroundings, and we're sure you'll nail it!
#13
Poor Bastard
#14
A Legionnaire Walks Into A Bar
#15
Reporting A Theft
#16
Catching Fog
#17
Mirror Factory
#18
Just Say No
#19
Brewing Coffee
#20
The Jetson Family
#21
Pirate Anniversary
#22
More Cowbells
#23
Mode Of Transportation
#25
Bad Genes
#26
New Ideas
#27
Snail Race
#28
Naming Your Dog
#29
Poor Sally
#30
Dating A Tennis Player
#31
Roman Numerals
#32
Longest Walk
#33
Strawberry Jam
#34
Ladders
#35
The Fresh Prince
#36
The Last Wish
Virginia Su 8 years ago
I have an epi-pen and I laughed. Not everything like this is necessarily bad or etc.
#37
Serious Cliffhanger
#38
Sixteen Atoms
Unknown101 4 years ago
Ignore the hate comments, it's funny! Dark humor's awesome
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Hope Cows&Chickens 2 years ago
Thank you! I didn't get this one till you literally spelled it out for me!
Load More Replies...
LiliAna Plays 4 years ago
Best periodic table jokes ready?? Wanna here a joke bout pottansium? K. How do u remember the sign for gold? Au gimme some gold Heard Magniseum and Oxegyn went on a date I was like OMg I would tell you another but the good ones Argon.
S2art Time 4 years ago
A priest a rabbi and Jesus walked into a bar the bartender said is this a joke
Sonya “Princess Starlight” Popovich 1 month ago
And he broke her cherry in Sixteen Candles? Was?
Collin Hao 3 years ago
Two scientists walked into a bar. One of them said "A glass of H2O please." The second one said, "I want H2O too!" The second one died. The bartender got confused and served him a glass of hydrogen perioxide..
Simon Larkin 4 years ago
Not really dark humour unless you think its about 'black' humour' which would be pretty thick
Sandra Romanowska 8 years ago
Listening to the song I can hear only 13 of them. And I can hear "ta ra ra ra" not "na na na na".
#39
Green And Fuzzy
#40
Stolen Bag
#41
Funny Two Line Jokes
#42
Funny Two Line Jokes
#43
Funny Two Lines Jokes
#44
Funny Two Line Jokes
#45
Funny Two Line Jokes
#46
Funny Two Line Jokes
#47
Funny Two Line Jokes
#49
Funny Two Line Jokes
#50
Funny Two Line Jokes
#51
Funny Two Line Jokes
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What do you think ?
Alizay Chou-Lai 7 years ago
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
Sister227 7 years ago
"You're starting to annoy me with all these bird puns. But don't worry, toucan play at that game." "Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!" "Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion in France? There was nothing left but De-Brie!"
Trey Reynolds 3 years ago
What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 government workers in a room together? You get 100 people who don't do d**k.
Load More Replies...
miya rowley 5 years ago
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
Jane Alexander 2 years ago
Two philosophers sat up all night discussing why the sun rises, then it dawned on um.
Leonardo Martinez 3 years ago
do you no why you never bring a new computer to best buy becuase then it feel to much like home
Jade Worthington 4 years ago
Where is #52? I want the 52 jokes I paid for! :) It's ended on #51 - a bad orphan joke.
Love Reigns 4 years ago
I do not believe the internet was scoured at all. I believe there was a single comedian, who wanted to have his jokes rated for funniness so that he could use the right jokes live. But it won't work. Because all the people who raise a fuss for jokes on here would laugh if they paid money to see a show. Everyone WANTS to laugh live, because they don't want to feel like they wasted their money. I thought they were pretty good to incredibly cheesey. Good clean fun tho! Stay corny!
Brandon Smith 4 years ago
did you hear about the naked hipy that got kiled in batel he wus tring to make love not war
Simon Larkin 4 years ago
Result! this page is Gold its hard enough to find proper black humour but theres a nice few here
Haley Naftaniel 4 years ago
Why did the grandma put wheels on her rocking chair? Because she wanted to rock and roll.
Liam Peterson 4 years ago
why couldent the tolit paper cross the road because it got stuck in the crack
InterGalactic Legend 4 years ago
What’s brown and sticky? A stick It cost me $500 to get new glasses. I didn’t see that coming I have 6 eyes, 3 ears, and 2 mouths. What am I? Ugly What do u call a cold dog? A chilli dog When does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn Once I fell and broke my left hand. Now I always ace my tests because I’m right What did the sheep who hates holidays say? Baaaaa humbug Why do golfers wear 2 pairs of pants? In case they get a hole-in-one What happens when you come across a cow and a shark? I don’t know but I wouldn’t want to milk it What do you call a lazy dinosaur? A stego-SNORE-us Which side do chickens have the most feathers? The outside I got hit in the face with a snowball recently. It knocked me out cold
Trenton Bowens 5 years ago
I wondered why the car got bigger then I woke up in the hospital and still didn’t know what happened
Joe Linder 5 years ago
44 years ago I served my wife with protection papers... And...I'm so lucky...she's still protecting me ! 2591
Joe Linder 5 years ago
44 years ago I served my wife with protection papers... And...she's still protecting me ! 2519
Gannon McDonald 6 years ago
A bear walks into a restaurant and sits down,the waitress asks what he wants and he said ¨Ï will have...the steak¨ she asked ¨why the big pause?¨ he shrugges ¨I am not sure;I was born with them¨
ANDREW MONTGOMERY 2 years ago
Just got a TV it said built in antenna, ,, I've looked on the world map still can't find it 😅
ANDREW MONTGOMERY 2 years ago
Just got a TV ,it said on the back built in antenna, ,,? Looked at the world map and i Still can't find the place 😅😅
Ian Van Oosterhout 5 years ago
I was walking through a cemetary this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said, "Morning..." He said, "No, just taking a s**t."
Tony Beadle 5 years ago
Why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey...
Load More Replies...
Chuck Centers 6 years ago
Did you hear that O. J. is getting remarried.? He said he wanted to take another stab at it.
ima snake ima slithery snake 8 years ago
I got one you should add its, I tried to catch fog yesterday, Mist
Alizay Chou-Lai 7 years ago
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
Sister227 7 years ago
"You're starting to annoy me with all these bird puns. But don't worry, toucan play at that game." "Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!" "Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion in France? There was nothing left but De-Brie!"
Trey Reynolds 3 years ago
What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 government workers in a room together? You get 100 people who don't do d**k.
Load More Replies... miya rowley 5 years ago
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
Jane Alexander 2 years ago
Two philosophers sat up all night discussing why the sun rises, then it dawned on um.
Leonardo Martinez 3 years ago
do you no why you never bring a new computer to best buy becuase then it feel to much like home
Jade Worthington 4 years ago
Where is #52? I want the 52 jokes I paid for! :) It's ended on #51 - a bad orphan joke.
Love Reigns 4 years ago
I do not believe the internet was scoured at all. I believe there was a single comedian, who wanted to have his jokes rated for funniness so that he could use the right jokes live. But it won't work. Because all the people who raise a fuss for jokes on here would laugh if they paid money to see a show. Everyone WANTS to laugh live, because they don't want to feel like they wasted their money. I thought they were pretty good to incredibly cheesey. Good clean fun tho! Stay corny!
Brandon Smith 4 years ago
did you hear about the naked hipy that got kiled in batel he wus tring to make love not war
Simon Larkin 4 years ago
Result! this page is Gold its hard enough to find proper black humour but theres a nice few here
Haley Naftaniel 4 years ago
Why did the grandma put wheels on her rocking chair? Because she wanted to rock and roll.
Liam Peterson 4 years ago
why couldent the tolit paper cross the road because it got stuck in the crack
InterGalactic Legend 4 years ago
What’s brown and sticky? A stick It cost me $500 to get new glasses. I didn’t see that coming I have 6 eyes, 3 ears, and 2 mouths. What am I? Ugly What do u call a cold dog? A chilli dog When does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn Once I fell and broke my left hand. Now I always ace my tests because I’m right What did the sheep who hates holidays say? Baaaaa humbug Why do golfers wear 2 pairs of pants? In case they get a hole-in-one What happens when you come across a cow and a shark? I don’t know but I wouldn’t want to milk it What do you call a lazy dinosaur? A stego-SNORE-us Which side do chickens have the most feathers? The outside I got hit in the face with a snowball recently. It knocked me out cold
Trenton Bowens 5 years ago
I wondered why the car got bigger then I woke up in the hospital and still didn’t know what happened
Joe Linder 5 years ago
44 years ago I served my wife with protection papers... And...I'm so lucky...she's still protecting me ! 2591
Joe Linder 5 years ago
44 years ago I served my wife with protection papers... And...she's still protecting me ! 2519
Gannon McDonald 6 years ago
A bear walks into a restaurant and sits down,the waitress asks what he wants and he said ¨Ï will have...the steak¨ she asked ¨why the big pause?¨ he shrugges ¨I am not sure;I was born with them¨
ANDREW MONTGOMERY 2 years ago
Just got a TV it said built in antenna, ,, I've looked on the world map still can't find it 😅
ANDREW MONTGOMERY 2 years ago
Just got a TV ,it said on the back built in antenna, ,,? Looked at the world map and i Still can't find the place 😅😅
Ian Van Oosterhout 5 years ago
I was walking through a cemetary this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said, "Morning..." He said, "No, just taking a s**t."
Tony Beadle 5 years ago
Why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey...
Load More Replies... Chuck Centers 6 years ago
Did you hear that O. J. is getting remarried.? He said he wanted to take another stab at it.
ima snake ima slithery snake 8 years ago
I got one you should add its, I tried to catch fog yesterday, Mist
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