Join the Fun!

Big Prize

Final score:

160points

POST

Ayushi Sharma 8 years ago

The story of my life

62points

The Comeback

Final score:

158points

POST

Mags Acutt 8 years ago

If it was made in China, relax! It won't come back!!!

94points

What are some of the best short jokes you could ever tell your friends?

Only you can decide what kind of joke will relate to your friend the most. We can just provide you with options! It might be that only long jokes will work, but usually, it's the short ones that get you. You can also try silly inside jokes that only you and your friend will understand or some incredibly bad puns that will question your maturity levels.

The secret to delivering the best joke ever to your friend is to find what they're relating to, their interests and hobbies, and so on. By doing that, you'll be able to find a funny joke that will best resonate with your friend and, in turn, provide you with the best possible reaction.

Being Immature

Final score:

151points

POST

Sonya Popovich 8 years ago

You don't know the password too...

75points

Skydiving Advice

Final score:

151points

POST

Scapau Corina 8 years ago

Hahahha...this is so funny and wise at the same time! ????????????

60points

Things They Have In Common

Final score:

149points

POST

Ayushi Sharma 8 years ago

This post too has parallel lines, they never meet :P

63points

Mixed Feelings

Final score:

148points

POST

Su Li 6 years ago

I know how you feel. If I tell you will you let me keep the ring ?

53points

What kind of short funny jokes could you use to make even your father crack up?

Well, now that's a task. Usually, some of the dad puns make us cringe beyond belief, but there are also times when you just can't hide how amazing that joke was.

Most of the time, it's the short dirty jokes that get you. It startles you like a cucumber does a cat; you are surprised and just can't hold back the laughter. But how do you counter that? Well, as the saying goes, you fight fire with fire. Dig out some of the best one-liners in your arsenal (or this list), and get right back at your dad!

Heart Of A Lion

Final score:

140points

POST

Brianna Bastian 8 years ago

love it!

52points

Money Changes Everything

Final score:

134points

POST

Celia McDaniel 8 years ago

Me...all the time...everyday

57points

#10

A German Sense Of Humor

Final score:

123points

POST

Intensive Panda 8 years ago

I'm a German and find it hilarious

92points

#11

Bad Example

Final score:

103points

POST

Veronica Hufana 8 years ago

I'm using this on the next bad example I come across.

50points

#12

Pun Intended

Final score:

102points

POST

Jamison Frances 8 years ago

Love it!

31points

What would be some of the most timeless jokes that would crack up children and adults?

Classic jokes are the foundation of each generation's humor. It's what connects old and young, mature and immature. To relate to both, your best bet would be to leave out adult jokes and focus on those that could be understandable for both parties. Kids' jokes might still be a good bet, though, as they're family-friendly and pack a tremendous comedic punch.

While most jokes are often recycled, modified, and improved by younger generations to better apply to current days, their core remains the same. Because of that, it can reach a wide range of audiences without leaving out any particular age group. So pick your jokes well, analyze your surroundings, and we're sure you'll nail it!

#13

Poor Bastard

Final score:

96points

POST

Ayushi Sharma 8 years ago

Didn't see that coming!

45points

#14

A Legionnaire Walks Into A Bar

Final score:

87points

POST

Lina Paavilainen 8 years ago

Best!Wise-a*s joke!EVER!!!

29points

#15

Reporting A Theft

Final score:

85points

POST

Leanne Gordon 8 years ago

You Excel at these jokes ????

135points

#16

Catching Fog

Final score:

85points

POST

Anita Pócsi 8 years ago

:D yay

27points

#17

Mirror Factory

Final score:

77points

POST

Jamison Frances 8 years ago

Me too!

34points

#18

Just Say No

Final score:

74points

POST

Celia McDaniel 8 years ago

Haha

44points

#19

Brewing Coffee

Final score:

72points

POST

Samuel Jay Brown 8 years ago

Jew seriously? I am this Israeli how he does it.

30points

#20

The Jetson Family

Final score:

66points

POST

Celia McDaniel 8 years ago

"The Jetsons you f*****g racists

42points

#21

Pirate Anniversary

Final score:

59points

POST

Brandon Was Here 8 years ago

Say it out loud to understand

46points

#22

More Cowbells

Final score:

56points

POST

María Paz Greene F 8 years ago

Smart and weird

21points

#23

Mode Of Transportation

Final score:

54points

POST

Dominator King 5 years ago

...That’s just...

16points

#24

Pun Contest

Final score:

53points

POST

Lauren Jones 8 years ago

No pun intended Wow

32points

#25

Bad Genes

Final score:

51points

POST

Quinn Enestvedt 7 years ago

Eughh

23points

#26

New Ideas

Final score:

49points

POST

Ayushi Sharma 8 years ago

Best one yet?

18points

#27

Snail Race

Final score:

49points

POST

Francis Powell 6 years ago

HAHA

17points

#28

Naming Your Dog

Final score:

46points

POST

Quinn Enestvedt 7 years ago

Nooooooooo that makes me sad

38points

#29

Poor Sally

Final score:

45points

POST

ContagiousFandom 8 years ago

Dark humor is like food. Not everyone gets it.

81points

#30

Dating A Tennis Player

Final score:

43points

POST

Zulkarnain K. 8 years ago

LOL. I l'oeuf this

27points

#31

Roman Numerals

Final score:

41points

POST

Anna Linnaeus 8 years ago

Funny, but not much of a two-liner, is it.

37points

#32

Longest Walk

Final score:

40points

POST

María Paz Greene F 8 years ago

Too sad, I don't like it :(

40points

#33

Strawberry Jam

Final score:

38points

POST

Quinn Enestvedt 7 years ago

Noooooooooooo

26points

#34

Ladders

Final score:

38points

POST

Quinn Enestvedt 7 years ago

No too realistic

23points

The Fresh Prince

Final score:

37points

POST

Kc Dc3 5 years ago

Baa-Dum-Tss

21points

#36

The Last Wish

Final score:

37points

POST

Virginia Su 8 years ago

I have an epi-pen and I laughed. Not everything like this is necessarily bad or etc.

37points

#37

Serious Cliffhanger

Final score:

37points

POST

Socially Awkward 7 years ago

Nononononono whyyyyyyyyyyy would you do that

36points

#38

Sixteen Atoms

Final score:

36points

POST

Keenan Smith 5 years ago

hellen keller walked into a bar.. and a table.. and a chair

32points

#39

Green And Fuzzy

Final score:

35points

POST

Brandon Was Here 8 years ago

or another tree

36points

#40

Stolen Bag

Final score:

33points

POST

Intensive Panda 8 years ago

and the bad taste award goes to....

41points

#41

Funny Two Line Jokes

Final score:

28points

POST

Panpan 8 years ago

❓

13points

#42

Funny Two Line Jokes

Final score:

28points

POST

isaa7481 isaa7481 4 years ago

love the movie referance ones

4points

Funny Two Lines Jokes

Final score:

25points

POST

Carlee Franklin 8 years ago

It took me a second but I got it.He forgot he had cancer LOL!!

18points

#44

Funny Two Line Jokes

Final score:

24points

POST

Ali Raza 4 years ago

realllllllllly?Wow!

12points

#45

Funny Two Line Jokes

Final score:

23points

POST

Jamison Frances 8 years ago

Great!

13points

#46

Funny Two Line Jokes

Final score:

19points

POST

Oona Birdie 8 years ago

That's hilarious.

18points

#47

Funny Two Line Jokes

Final score:

16points

POST

Ross Avilla 8 years ago

What?

16points

#48

Funny Two Line Jokes

Final score:

16points

POST

Ali Raza 4 years ago

I donot get it.

5points

#49

Funny Two Line Jokes

Final score:

15points

POST

Marvin Purser 3 years ago

not familiar with ithebergs

3points

#50

Funny Two Line Jokes

Final score:

7points

POST

Tillie Martinussen 8 years ago

Ouch

38points

Jamie Rogers 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Spencer Parker 4 years ago

rip Jim Henson

3points

Kadie 120 5 years ago

uh...what?

3points

Sarah Appel Boarman [STUDENT] 4 years ago

that's actually sad

2points

Sharon Schmit 4 years ago

Haha! That is quite funny! Also, bless this mess!

2points

Sharon Schmit 4 years ago

Wonderful post Sharon

3points

David L. 2 years ago

He just didn’t have it in him.

1point

Ethan Denham 3 years ago

I get it because he's a frog and he can't speak.(If the frog's a Male)

1point

Abigail Henry 3 years ago

It's because Jim Henson voiced Kermit-

2points

Renaissance Kid 4 years ago

what

1point

Sonya “Princess Starlight” Popovich 1 month ago

That’s a … Rrribbit.

0points

Kona 2 years ago

HJKLMN

0points

Bud McKinney 2 years ago

I witnessed Kermit singing Rainbow connection after Jim Henson's funeral.

0points

Marvin Purser 3 years ago

dumb and not funny.

0points

BRUH 3 years ago

That's a straight up FACT

0points

Guadalupe Lomeli-Villanueva 3 years ago

0points

Heather Garcia 4 years ago

ooooooooofffffffff

0points

Michael Huff 4 years ago

Oh so SAD! Terrible

0points

Altaïr 4 years ago

rip kermet

0points

Sofia Levy Gacha Life 4 years ago

😆😟

0points

Clare Woods 4 years ago

...

0points

Elijah Favorite 4 years ago

wut

0points

bad bruc3 5 years ago

that's funny

0points

Gabriella Maranon 5 years ago

wow. that's just... deep

0points

nicehar 2 years ago

What's green and smells like Miss Piggy? Kermit's middle finger.

-1point

Aidan Hinojosa 3 years ago

Ass

-1point

Ravenbolt 3 years ago

R.I.P jim. u had no friends

-2points

Ravenbolt 3 years ago

r.i.p jim. u had no real friends

-2points

Fatimah Mohammed R Abuzuhairah 4 years ago

This is officially my favorite joke

-2points

Dane Kappler 4 years ago

What did Steven Hawking say when his computer crashed. Nothing.

-2points

JACKSON STANDLEY 4 years ago

hahahahahahahaahah

-3points

Jesus of Nazareth 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Funny Two Line Jokes

Final score:

7points

POST

Jason H. 8 years ago

I lol'd but....

21points

#52

This submission is hidden. Click here to view.

#52

Funny Two Line Joke

Final score:

-18points

POST

Mirriam Banda 7 years ago

no wonder it was hidden

36points

Inga is a List Curator at Bored Panda. She is a Creative Industries graduate and has a Bachelor's degree in Communication. This panda's mission is to find and cover perfect topics which would satisfy our readers' curiosity, kill the boredom, or simply make them laugh. As the topics of her lists are so broad, so is Inga's personal preferences. She loves dogs but can't resist snuggling a cat, she likes creepy docuseries but also cute animated movies like Zootopia, her music taste varies from Indie Rock to Pop and Rave, she likes relaxing crafts, yet she usually spends her evenings dancing.

Read less »

I'm Neilas, Content Production Manager for Bored Panda in the Home & Design category. In this role, I try to ensure the quality of our articles to bring the best possible web surfing experience to our readers. I love a well-structured, informative, and illustrative article, whether it's for design ideas, gardening solutions, or cute dogs and cats. I made it my mission to ensure our readers get to experience the same thing. As for my personal interests, I produce music, sometimes go out and take pictures of nice stuff, and have petrol running through my veins. I'm an avid fan of Formula 1 and Motorsport in general, taking every chance I get to burn some rubber at local go-cart tracks. Of course, movies, gaming, and racing simulators are a big part of my daily life, too.

Read less »

What do you think ?

POST

Alizay Chou-Lai 7 years ago

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger then it hit me

18points

blai4750 blai4750 4 years ago

wow that a nice one

1point

Alizay Chou-Lai 7 years ago

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

13points

MistyCat 3 years ago

He's got nothing left.

8points

Alizay Chou-Lai 7 years ago

i'd tell you a chemistry joke but i wouldn't get a reaction

9points

Sister227 7 years ago

"You're starting to annoy me with all these bird puns. But don't worry, toucan play at that game." "Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!" "Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion in France? There was nothing left but De-Brie!"

5points

Trey Reynolds 3 years ago

What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 government workers in a room together? You get 100 people who don't do d**k.

1point

Ali Raza 4 years ago

I would tell you a chemistery joke but it would not get a reaction.

3points

Justin Stauder 6 years ago

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A brazilian

3points

Dogs_are_cool 5 years ago

Lol

1point

Mick O'Kane 6 years ago

Did you hear about the bell ringer who slipped and was tolled off?

3points

miya rowley 5 years ago

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

2points

Snax 2 years ago

What'd the sushi say to the bee? "WASABI"

1point

nicehar 2 years ago

I have a gay cousin who is also a midget. I can still remember the day he came out of the cupboard.

1point

blai4750 blai4750 4 years ago

i liked the strawberry one but i do need to lelf now

1point

blai4750 blai4750 4 years ago

lelf=leaf

0points

blai4750 blai4750 4 years ago

first yeet

1point

Ali Raza 4 years ago

I told my wife she was holding her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

1point

Melissa Hahn 6 years ago

Did you hear the joke about the unstamped letter? “You won’t get it”

1point

Sirish Shrestha 8 years ago

nice

1point

Alexander Miles 1 year ago

How do you call a dog who does magic? Labracadabrador.

0points

Ashley Spurlock 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Jane Alexander 2 years ago

Two philosophers sat up all night discussing why the sun rises, then it dawned on um.

0points

PiP 2 years ago

If you thought I was going to make a joke about Alzheimer’s, forget it.

0points

Randy Melancon 2 years ago

Army rifle for sale, never fired, dropped once!

0points

Marvin Purser 3 years ago

old joke, alizay.

0points

Mark Sheffield 3 years ago

Like this. How do you confuse an American?

0points

Leonardo Martinez 3 years ago

do you no why you never bring a new computer to best buy becuase then it feel to much like home

0points

Thanh Nguyen 3 years ago

It said 52 funny jokes but left me hanging with 51

0points

skwid 🦑 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

ANDRE CACHU 4 years ago

0points

skwid 🦑 2 years ago

Well hello there

0points

Burgerbox101 4 years ago

wait where's the 52nd

0points

Jade Worthington 4 years ago

Where is #52? I want the 52 jokes I paid for! :) It's ended on #51 - a bad orphan joke.

0points

Love Reigns 4 years ago

I do not believe the internet was scoured at all. I believe there was a single comedian, who wanted to have his jokes rated for funniness so that he could use the right jokes live. But it won't work. Because all the people who raise a fuss for jokes on here would laugh if they paid money to see a show. Everyone WANTS to laugh live, because they don't want to feel like they wasted their money. I thought they were pretty good to incredibly cheesey. Good clean fun tho! Stay corny!

0points

Brandon Smith 4 years ago

did you hear about the naked hipy that got kiled in batel he wus tring to make love not war

0points

Altaïr 4 years ago

why all the puns whats next someone asks can you give me a hand? I would but i gave them to the other guy

0points

Sofia Levy Gacha Life 4 years ago

I love it!

0points

Simon Larkin 4 years ago

Result! this page is Gold its hard enough to find proper black humour but theres a nice few here

0points

Rj 4 years ago

These were actually pretty funny. But so many people were hating on the jokes and the people who enjoyed them.

0points

Haley Naftaniel 4 years ago

Why did the grandma put wheels on her rocking chair? Because she wanted to rock and roll.

0points

Liam Peterson 4 years ago

why couldent the tolit paper cross the road because it got stuck in the crack

0points

InterGalactic Legend 4 years ago

What’s brown and sticky? A stick It cost me $500 to get new glasses. I didn’t see that coming I have 6 eyes, 3 ears, and 2 mouths. What am I? Ugly What do u call a cold dog? A chilli dog When does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn Once I fell and broke my left hand. Now I always ace my tests because I’m right What did the sheep who hates holidays say? Baaaaa humbug Why do golfers wear 2 pairs of pants? In case they get a hole-in-one What happens when you come across a cow and a shark? I don’t know but I wouldn’t want to milk it What do you call a lazy dinosaur? A stego-SNORE-us Which side do chickens have the most feathers? The outside I got hit in the face with a snowball recently. It knocked me out cold

0points

Chris Combs 4 years ago

I would attack you with sodium chloride, but that would be a salt.

0points

Trenton Bowens 5 years ago

I wondered why the car got bigger then I woke up in the hospital and still didn’t know what happened

0points

Pyroid Autinsanity 5 years ago

I LOVE THIS

0points

Joe Linder 5 years ago

44 years ago I served my wife with protection papers... And...I'm so lucky...she's still protecting me ! 2591

0points

Joe Linder 5 years ago

44 years ago I served my wife with protection papers... And...she's still protecting me ! 2519

0points

Gannon McDonald 6 years ago

A bear walks into a restaurant and sits down,the waitress asks what he wants and he said ¨Ï will have...the steak¨ she asked ¨why the big pause?¨ he shrugges ¨I am not sure;I was born with them¨

0points

ANDREW MONTGOMERY 2 years ago

Just got a TV it said built in antenna, ,, I've looked on the world map still can't find it 😅

-1point

ANDREW MONTGOMERY 2 years ago

Just got a TV ,it said on the back built in antenna, ,,? Looked at the world map and i Still can't find the place 😅😅

-1point

Napo Kahukimei 5 years ago

Time to watch porn! Goodnight 😏

-1point

Ian Van Oosterhout 5 years ago

I was walking through a cemetary this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said, "Morning..." He said, "No, just taking a s**t."

-2points

Dawn Mohrbacher 5 years ago

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead....

-2points

Tony Beadle 5 years ago

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey...

-1point

Chuck Centers 6 years ago

Did you hear that O. J. is getting remarried.? He said he wanted to take another stab at it.

-2points

ima snake ima slithery snake 8 years ago

I got one you should add its, I tried to catch fog yesterday, Mist

-2points

Joseph Gross 4 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Och s 8 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Och s 8 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Och s 8 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

POST

Alizay Chou-Lai 7 years ago

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger then it hit me

18points

blai4750 blai4750 4 years ago

wow that a nice one

1point

Alizay Chou-Lai 7 years ago

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

13points

MistyCat 3 years ago

He's got nothing left.

8points

Alizay Chou-Lai 7 years ago

i'd tell you a chemistry joke but i wouldn't get a reaction

9points

Sister227 7 years ago

5points

Trey Reynolds 3 years ago

What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 government workers in a room together? You get 100 people who don't do d**k.

1point

Ali Raza 4 years ago

I would tell you a chemistery joke but it would not get a reaction.

3points

Justin Stauder 6 years ago

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A brazilian

3points

Dogs_are_cool 5 years ago

Lol

1point

Mick O'Kane 6 years ago

Did you hear about the bell ringer who slipped and was tolled off?

3points

miya rowley 5 years ago

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

2points

Snax 2 years ago

What'd the sushi say to the bee? "WASABI"

1point

nicehar 2 years ago

I have a gay cousin who is also a midget. I can still remember the day he came out of the cupboard.

1point

blai4750 blai4750 4 years ago

i liked the strawberry one but i do need to lelf now

1point

blai4750 blai4750 4 years ago

lelf=leaf

0points

blai4750 blai4750 4 years ago

first yeet

1point

Ali Raza 4 years ago

I told my wife she was holding her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

1point

Melissa Hahn 6 years ago

Did you hear the joke about the unstamped letter? “You won’t get it”

1point

Sirish Shrestha 8 years ago

nice

1point

Alexander Miles 1 year ago

How do you call a dog who does magic? Labracadabrador.

0points

Ashley Spurlock 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Jane Alexander 2 years ago

Two philosophers sat up all night discussing why the sun rises, then it dawned on um.

0points

PiP 2 years ago

If you thought I was going to make a joke about Alzheimer’s, forget it.

0points

Randy Melancon 2 years ago

Army rifle for sale, never fired, dropped once!

0points

Marvin Purser 3 years ago

old joke, alizay.

0points

Mark Sheffield 3 years ago

Like this. How do you confuse an American?

0points

Leonardo Martinez 3 years ago

do you no why you never bring a new computer to best buy becuase then it feel to much like home

0points

Thanh Nguyen 3 years ago

It said 52 funny jokes but left me hanging with 51

0points

skwid 🦑 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

ANDRE CACHU 4 years ago

0points

skwid 🦑 2 years ago

Well hello there

0points

Burgerbox101 4 years ago

wait where's the 52nd

0points

Jade Worthington 4 years ago

Where is #52? I want the 52 jokes I paid for! :) It's ended on #51 - a bad orphan joke.

0points

Love Reigns 4 years ago

0points

Brandon Smith 4 years ago

did you hear about the naked hipy that got kiled in batel he wus tring to make love not war

0points

Altaïr 4 years ago

why all the puns whats next someone asks can you give me a hand? I would but i gave them to the other guy

0points

Sofia Levy Gacha Life 4 years ago

I love it!

0points

Simon Larkin 4 years ago

Result! this page is Gold its hard enough to find proper black humour but theres a nice few here

0points

Rj 4 years ago

These were actually pretty funny. But so many people were hating on the jokes and the people who enjoyed them.

0points

Haley Naftaniel 4 years ago

Why did the grandma put wheels on her rocking chair? Because she wanted to rock and roll.

0points

Liam Peterson 4 years ago

why couldent the tolit paper cross the road because it got stuck in the crack

0points

InterGalactic Legend 4 years ago

0points

Chris Combs 4 years ago

I would attack you with sodium chloride, but that would be a salt.

0points

Trenton Bowens 5 years ago

I wondered why the car got bigger then I woke up in the hospital and still didn’t know what happened

0points

Pyroid Autinsanity 5 years ago

I LOVE THIS

0points

Joe Linder 5 years ago

44 years ago I served my wife with protection papers... And...I'm so lucky...she's still protecting me ! 2591

0points

Joe Linder 5 years ago

44 years ago I served my wife with protection papers... And...she's still protecting me ! 2519

0points

Gannon McDonald 6 years ago

0points

ANDREW MONTGOMERY 2 years ago

Just got a TV it said built in antenna, ,, I've looked on the world map still can't find it 😅

-1point

ANDREW MONTGOMERY 2 years ago

Just got a TV ,it said on the back built in antenna, ,,? Looked at the world map and i Still can't find the place 😅😅

-1point

Napo Kahukimei 5 years ago

Time to watch porn! Goodnight 😏

-1point

Ian Van Oosterhout 5 years ago

I was walking through a cemetary this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said, "Morning..." He said, "No, just taking a s**t."

-2points

Dawn Mohrbacher 5 years ago

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead....

-2points

Tony Beadle 5 years ago

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey...

-1point

Chuck Centers 6 years ago

Did you hear that O. J. is getting remarried.? He said he wanted to take another stab at it.

-2points

ima snake ima slithery snake 8 years ago

I got one you should add its, I tried to catch fog yesterday, Mist

-2points

Joseph Gross 4 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Och s 8 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Och s 8 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.