ADVERTISEMENT

As you probably know, unless you live under a rock, Twitter and its newfound CEO, Elon Musk, have been the talk of the town over the past few weeks. Since Elon Musk’s takeover, we have seen everything from high-profile departures to a massive layoff. Last but not least, a whole new verification system that seems to have backfired like lighting a matchstick at a gas station. In a job market more and more made of flexible schedules, work-life balance, and remote working, Elon Musk hit his now ex-employees in the face with a big “nope.”

Countless Twitter memes later, the world is now split into those who believe Twitter’s era is over and those who think the company will be able to make it through this rough patch. We’re no visionaries here, so we’ll refrain from making predictions. But one thing is certain: Tweeters have delivered high-quality comedy over the years, and funny tweets are all we’re here for today.

If you’re looking for a good laugh, this is our “best of Twitter,” a place to come back to over and over again, in loving memory of what Twitter was in case everything goes down the drain. Here we’ve rounded up what we’re positive are some of the funniest tweets of all time — the ones that make us laugh every time we read them!

#2

Funniest Tweets Of All Time

Diamond_Jax Report

Add photo comments
POST
Patrick John Haskins
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm pretty sure that the coffee myth has been debunked. In 2015/2016, my wife's OB said it was okay to drink caffeine, but maybe not in excess. Alcohol and cigarettes are still a no-go.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#4

Funniest Tweets Of All Time

silence__kit Report

Add photo comments
POST
Nathaniel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why does the alphabet have an order any way? The abc's is not a word, there is not a correct way to spell it.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
#11

Funniest Tweets Of All Time

alextumay Report

Add photo comments
POST
K W
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love French Bulldogs. Unfortunately they're $4500. I can literally buy a Tiger for $1000 (USD). Blows my mind that a dog costs 4.5 tigers.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#13

Funniest Tweets Of All Time

Kyle1092 Report

Add photo comments
POST
Nathaniel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jerome K Jerome, Three men in a boat, reads the medical dictionary once and sees he has every ailment except Housemaid's Knee.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#18

Funniest Tweets Of All Time

ahahamina Report

Add photo comments
POST
Headless Roach
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Imagine referring to a USB dongle by 'dingle' in a business presentation. Do I take the podium today, even though I stopped before 'berry'?

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#23

Funniest Tweets Of All Time

laurajlovette Report

Add photo comments
POST
Some black giirrrrllll
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Meanwhile in a parallel universe: Can you imagine how awkward it would be if you went on your pet's phone and found the 1000s of pictures they have of you sleeping.

View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#32

Funniest Tweets Of All Time

OctopusCaveman Report

Add photo comments
POST
Some black giirrrrllll
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The turkey's vlog: so guys, **gobble gobble, don't forget to like and subscribe.

Sylvia Dunaway
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now I want to find out...thank you sooooo much random 5 year old child

Marek Čtrnáct
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Something in Andy Riley's "Great Lies to Tell Small Children" was like this.

K W
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The questions never come when you expect them lol. Like that time my kid asked where humans came from and I was trying to explain something about matrilineal stuff and he thought I said mammoths so he thought humans came from girl mammoths. Anyway turkey life questions definitely stumping but trying to distil human evolution into something simple enough for a 4 year old to understand with zero prep was pretty impossible.

Bryn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

strange, I've seen the same thing about ham... from a child...

Marie Dahme
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I watched it, I might feel guilty and never eat turkey again.

David A Paterson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The correct answer is "no, that only works for trees", because you can read a tree's whole life from a slice.

Mary Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds interesting, but I hope the movie would have subtitles. Because I don't speak TURKish *obnoxious laughter* *knee slap*

R Dennis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Back in the day, I had a flatscreen tv (early days) with a built-in DVD player. One day, it just stopped working. A couple years later, I was moving it and a Canadian townie fell out. Apparently my child put it in there thjnkingbit was a dvd...

Resheph Bloodthorne
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can imagine the only problem with the movie would be all the words are "gobble gobble" and none of the closed captions are in English, just French and Italian.

Giobemo
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think your son just came up with a blockbuster vegan children's movie! The guys over at big tofu are gonna go wild over this.

Giyuuu3
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Looll I remember my sister putting a cookie in there and it stopped working🥲😂😂

Ann M Clinkscales
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Great imagination 5y.o.!! We all must think this way more often! Plus, might as well try it! The DVD player is about out anyway!

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#33

Funniest Tweets Of All Time

aardvarsk Report

Add photo comments
POST
stardrop loves you
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is it just me or are birthday calls the worst. Like srsly I'm trying to enjoy and then my great aunt who I've never seen in my life calls like nooo i wanna eat cakeeeee

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#40

Funniest Tweets Of All Time

sarahschauer Report

Add photo comments
POST
Cara G
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When my dog barks, his bûtthole protrudes a little bit each time. As if he's barking out an ànal Morse code.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
Continue reading with Bored Panda Premium
Unlimited content
Ad-free browsing
Dark mode
ADVERTISEMENT
#59

Funniest Tweets Of All Time

CarelWillemse Report

Add photo comments
POST
Lakota Wolf
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one actually made me laugh out loud. Which is probably a shout-out to the current state of my mental health.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#61

Funniest Tweets Of All Time

ch000ch Report

Add photo comments
POST
JB
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"yeah she dropped me off, she loves me and so on, but b*tch you sad cause you ain't got no one!"

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#63

Funniest Tweets Of All Time

michael_aas Report

Add photo comments
POST
stardrop loves you
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My neighbors build custom cars for the fun of it, real rich kid stuff, they also put anime stickers on it :P

View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#67

Funniest Tweets Of All Time

ristolable Report

Add photo comments
POST
*Displayname*=idk
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a whole closet of clothes. Here is the thing though, I have favorites. I wear one for every day of the week. Less laundry, comfortable, easy!

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#96

Funniest Tweets Of All Time

KimmyMonte Report

Add photo comments
POST
stardrop loves you
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What (pls dont get mad at me i dont think I'm dumb but they say apartment more than flat here where i live in the US but maybe im just stupid)

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#98

Funniest Tweets Of All Time

stevententacion Report

Add photo comments
POST
Vix Spiderthrust
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Edgar Allan Poe. Kim Newman wrote a short story about how the imposter Edgar Allen Poe was stalking the author.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#102

Funniest Tweets Of All Time

AdulteRus Report

Add photo comments
POST
Lakota Wolf
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Me whenever I justify drinking too much diet soda: water is the first ingredient!

ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#110

Funniest Tweets Of All Time

justinbieber Report

Add photo comments
POST
Linda's friend Ginger
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of Coffee Talk with Linda Richman. "I'm getting verklempt! Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic, Rhode Island is neither a road nor and island....Discuss!"

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#116

Funniest Tweets Of All Time

cher Report

Add photo comments
POST
Cara G
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's being heavily sarcastic. The blue background/white egg shape is the default Twitter profile pic and often indicates troll or bot accounts. She's fake apologizing to a fake Twitter. As if mf-ing CHER cares what some rando thinks, bye.

View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT