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While "observational humor” has been a stand-up staple for awhile, mass internet use has allowed basically everyone to be a comedian from the comfort of their own home. Current events, the weather, some dry, domestic realizations, are all classic fodder for the millions of hilarious netizens out there to post their best jokes.
We’ve gathered some of the best tweets from this February (of 2025, for those future internet archaeologists), so get comfortable, perhaps get a blanket if you live in the northern hemisphere, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your thoughts in the comments below.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Ace 9 months ago
And change the connection name to "I know you've been stealing my wifi".
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hardrad2009 9 months ago
When I changed my Netflix password I got a eight calls and text messages from my family members.
Janet Graham 9 months ago
My internet has been sporadic for months. Then, our neighbor's house burned to the ground. My internet has been perfect since. makes me wonder...
RELATED:
#2
Lyoness 9 months ago
How TF did I get old enough that "back in my day" is now a relevant phrase?
Once upon a time in 2006, a small team of developers at a podcasting company called Odeo had a problem: nobody cared about their podcasting platform. It would seem they were just way too early to the podcast boom of the 2020s. Like any good startup, instead of admitting defeat, they decided to pivot, because in Silicon Valley, failure isn’t the end, it’s just the beginning of your future TED Talk.
Among the Odeo employees was a man named Jack Dorsey, who had an idea for a platform where people could share short status updates via text messages. Back then, this was revolutionary. Today, it sounds like something your aunt does on Facebook or WhatsApp every morning.
#4
Earonn - 9 months ago
Everything we said insane dictators in South America did has been done by Trump, but it's okay, US Americans, just sit still and wait, we all know that bullies stop by themselves as long as you don't respond to their actions, right?
T'Mar of Vulcan 9 months ago
About to invoke an old Internet rule, but a policy of appeasement led to WW II. Right, apparently I've lost the argument or it's over, since I brought up the Naz!'s. Oh, wait...
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336 9 months ago (edited)
I have the perfect name for it! Since it is bordered by Cuba, USA and Mexico, we should call it the Gulf of CUM. All three countries get equal representation! What do you guys think of this?
Bill Galbreath 9 months ago
His next Exec Order has new names for the Atlantic/Pacific oceans too: American Ocean East and American Ocean West.
PHOTOBOB 9 months ago
This nonsense is not over. My state Senator just introduced a bill to rename a part of the Tamiami Trail to Gulf of America Trail", a road that runs from Tampa to Miami. It is actually an important part of Florida history as it helped develop the west coast of the state and created a couple new counties (rich folks said I'll pitch in some money if you name a county after me, oh, and while you are at it jog the road a bit so it will come over by my phosphate docks. We actually have a Gulf of Mexico DR in the Senator's district. why not change that one?
WubiDubi 9 months ago
Foreign policy for dealing with Trump is treat him like a 7 year old, it;s working well. Look at Macron. Look at UK PM - whips out a letter from the King to Trump's delight. Obviously Charles and Kier had a chat about strategy. It's going full Game of Thrones, they have peaceful transitions in the Seven Kingdoms?
Anna Harding 9 months ago
Can we treat him like Joffrey? Asking for a Friend.
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Mason Kronol 9 months ago
It looks like they blocked that feature for The Gulf of Mexico now. (Anyone please correct me if I’m wrong) I was able to do it a couple weeks ago. You just had to go to Google maps and either right click or on an iPad press and hold and you got the option to suggest an edit. Apparently they got a lot of suggestions 😂
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#6
Earonn - 9 months ago
It's all so funny, but you can never forget that behind it is an idiot crazy with access to nuclear warheads, and a military that already sucks his balls....
keyboardtek 9 months ago
Are you referring to the white supremacist militias all around the country as being his military? Because he is firing many generals who previously criticized him.
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Alewa 9 months ago
I'm pretty sure that's not what Trump had in mind when he changed the name. I'm not even sure he's aware that "America" refers to anything other than the U.S. of. Regardless, it was how he went about changing the name. There's plenty of place names that can be debated, and they usually are, by all involved, before mutually agreeing on a new name. This move was not to honour, but to disrespect the other American countries. The way Trump went about to change the name is just symptomatic of his understanding of the presidency as autocratic rule. The fact that he can issue orders like that shows the fragility of the US American democracy, which he is currently turning into a dictatorship. That alone should be reason enough not to comply with any of his decisions (as much as possible). It still shows up as Gulf of Mexico on Google Maps in many countries, btw...
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Dorsey, along with Noah Glass, Biz Stone, and Evan Williams, worked on the project, and in March of 2006, Dorsey posted the first-ever tweet: "just setting up my twttr." So if you ever feel self-conscious about using shortened text because you’re typing one handed while eating lunch, remember, it’s heritage at this point.
#7
keyboardtek 9 months ago
Useless crop anyways. Total waste of time to cultivate it at all.
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Depressy spaghetti 9 months ago
Then scatter the ashes in muriatic acid so they cannot regenerate, and finally launch it into the sun for extra precautions.
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#8
Lucy Covington 9 months ago
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forty_Elephants
Load More Replies... Lucy Covington 9 months ago
The late Victorian/Early Edwardian ladies had the idea. Large hatpins strategically hidden, any handsy men got a stabbing. There were also ladies gloves that had metal claws sown in for the same reason: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/hatpin-peril-terrorized-men-who-couldnt-handle-20th-century-woman-180951219/
Earonn - 9 months ago
Oh, good, so it works. Sorry guys, *someone* had to fight back against sexists and sexual harassers, and you were to busy looking the other way or finding 60 versions of "but it's just locker room talk". (1) You are one of the really good guys who fought back? Consider yourself exempt from the above.
#9
Twitter officially launched to the public in July 2006, and at first, no one really knew what to do with it. But then, something magical happened, celebrities, journalists, and brands realized they could use it to communicate directly with people. Suddenly, Twitter became a digital town square, where world leaders, comedians, and your uncle with horrible takes could all scream at unsuspecting netizens.
#10
Cyndielouwhoo 9 months ago
The problem is the cat only wants to travel first class, who can afford that when you already have a cat to spoil?
#11
Ace 9 months ago
Get some elbow grease and a long weight while you're there.
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Tobias Reaper 9 months ago
in my first year of secondary school during lunch one of the older kids told me they needed to clean the table and go and ask for a jug of steam
Gavin Johnson 9 months ago
Steam for the wallpaper stripper? Kerfuffle valve? Tartan paint? Whip-ma-whop-ma gate? A long stand? A short stand? Sky hooks? Left handed ladder?
Nicole Weymann 9 months ago
Spirit lever counterweight? WLAN cable? Spark bucket (for welders)? That kind of joke is a favourite for dissing apprentices (somewhat cruelly, but then there are some out there who kinda provoke it). I know of one apprentice who took it in stride: went out to get what he was told to fetch and slunk off to the local mall for some downtime, came back HOURS later (his mean colleagues had been starting to worry) and very "dejectedly" confessed that he wasn't able to get what they sent him out for, despite all his efforts.
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Mark Hastings 9 months ago
Worked for a big airplane company for many years. We use to send new hires to the tool room for some edge margin or some aerodynamic tape.
#12
Earonn - 9 months ago
Remember how doctors used to believe that babies don't feel pain? One day we will find out that men suffer worse from the flu. You will stand up and shout "SEE, WE TOLD YOU!" and you will be finally exonerated!
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ToGo 9 months ago
I wouldn't mind if folk wanted to be dramatic but it's always the ones who never help or ask if you need anything when you're sick that are the big babies.
April Pickett 9 months ago (edited)
Most men do not do well when they're sick. They are very hard to take care of. I'd send him to the hospital until he's better. The nurses there are trained to handle persnickety patients.
#13
Tucker Cahooter 9 months ago
The kid might have got the idea from this -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECdZd74fAe4
#14
Dave Nalesnik 9 months ago
IKR when did they start making Legos from unobtanium?
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Bonnie Edwards 9 months ago (edited)
They bought a tablet computer and the entire catalogue of Terry Pratchett and Anne McCaffrey... just me?
#15
Rex-a-Roni 9 months ago
NGL...I would have been spraying lighter fluid, then roasting marshmallows.
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keyboardtek 9 months ago
Harry was an idiot. Notice how all his spells were accidental? He never really mastered the art of magic. HIs success was all due to his destiny and nothing to do with intelligence or skill.
MistBorn 9 months ago
That’s completely true, he wasn’t the typical “chosen one” , most characters that fall in that category are either the best in whatever they do, or get their power from some very powerful source or are epitome of a selfless character, harry was none , he was average at magic but very lucky , he was resourceful but made very dumb decisions, he was kind but also at times selfish. That’s what makes him more relatable
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Nicole Weymann 9 months ago
Considering the way US schools seem to promote competitive sport events, universities battle for athletes to "play" for their teams, and all the highly involved fans, emotions, and money invested I'd have thought that to be a more relatable part for people across the pond.
Nancy Lynch 9 months ago (edited)
High school? That's where I was an inmate for four years. So happy when I got paroled! 😉😉
Two_rolling_black_eyes 9 months ago
Six years of faculty and ex-students trying to kill you and no one believing you. You're finally forced to leave. No way a sane person ever steps foot there again.
#16
Nea 9 months ago
Just start telling people you cant hear men. Fake it till you make it
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CrunChewy McSandybutt 9 months ago
I am hearing impaired and I have a hard time with deep voices. Also with high-pitched voices like with small children.
BossyCloud 9 months ago (edited)
Read the article. It's just that she can't hear low frequency sounds, such as deep male voices.
#17
DennyS (denzoren) 9 months ago
That's a very nice tree though. I like it. Good sidewalk clearance, no low hanging branches but still enough foliage for shade and animals to live.
nicholas nolan 9 months ago
Looks like you could pretty easily climb to that first branch, there, too.
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Elaine Dodge 9 months ago
Something I heard today - bonobos call broccoli trash lettuce. It was on a documentary about teaching bonobos how to communicate with humans using pictograms. They didn't have a pictogram for broccoli, and the bonobo came up with trash lettuce using the pictograms they did have.
#18
Earonn - 9 months ago
Your reply is so much funnier than this 1000 times reused 'joke'.
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Paul Rabit 9 months ago (edited)
I smell plagiarism. This tweet/meme has been around for years. And 'Olivia' used to be 'Janet'.
Cuppa tea? 9 months ago
I know it's 9 am, but I'm drinking bloody Mary, that has celery stick, so that counts for something.
#19
#20
Bear Hall 9 months ago
"Noooooooooooooo! .......... Okay, okay, okay, I got it. We move to Canada. Now."
Lyoness 9 months ago
You didn't have that thought when orangey McOrangeface was reelected? But hey, if it takes the cost of eggs to leave the dark side, good on you.
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Nimitz 9 months ago
Laughs as a Canadian who paid $2.49 for a dozen eggs yesterday and doesn't live in a country run by Nazis
Kipper 9 months ago
From where? I'm in Ontario and eggs priced under $6.50 are non existant. Today's price was $7.99.for a dozen.......
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Alexandra 9 months ago
Uhm, question. What is it about eggs? I pay 8.50 euro for 30 big eggs: what would cost 30 eggs in the States?
Earonn - 9 months ago
I've seen photos of 12 eggs costing > $ 20 . But at least their various benefits got cancelled and they have a dead child from measles. / bitter sarcasm
Load More Replies... Verena 9 months ago
As far as I understood, the egc shortage is caused by chicken die from avian flu. Now, treat the chicks better, with more space, better foid and fresh air, then avian flu will have less chance to spread which results in sufficient eggs.
Sue User 9 months ago
Sorry to be that person. Free range chickens are more likely to catch it because wild geese/ ducks help spread it. My neighbor has the chickens and geese penned up right now. You are correct that mass farming stresses chickens and causes immune system issues. It is a balance.
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Karri Berkowitz 9 months ago
My husband already knows what would happen if it was him or the dog. Bad thing is, it’s actually his dog lol.
Rachel Mion 9 months ago
I'm amazed that this dog looks EXACTLY like one of our dogs! His DNA is pretty funny, too. Nothing like what we expected.
#22
General Anaesthesia 9 months ago
Where patrons toss a Euro on your plate as they leave the bathroom/restroom/powder room/facilities...
BookFanatic 9 months ago
Better than them staring blankly at you until you tell them you'd like to be seated.
Mark Hastings 9 months ago
Went into a better steak house once by myself. The hostess asked me if a private table next tot the kitchen was okay, I said yes. Shortly after being sat down, the chef came out and told me I was his guinea pig for a few hours. Every 15 minutes or so he brought out samples of meals he was serving the other guests. I ate some of the best food I have ever eaten and the surprise at the end was a gift card for $200 and no bill, everything I ate was free.
#23
Lyoness 9 months ago
The best part of adulting is being able to buy your own candy (but this is funny).
Melanie Filmer 9 months ago
I got myself an Easter egg yesterday and ate it all! Being a grown up has some perks!
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Johnny McFearless 9 months ago
Thus is why you should always precisely specify the amount of kinder egg from toddlers.
BossyCloud 9 months ago
What's up with his fingers? He's got like pink patches under his knuckles
#24
Ace 9 months ago
It's fine apart from the lack of any sort of punctuation or grammar. Needs an initial capital letter, an apostrophe, a verb in the second clause and a full stop. Therefore i hate it. Oh, and I've no idea what a target ball is, or even a Target ball.
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cj be like 9 months ago
When i was little I thought they were bouncy balls, and whenever my mom took me there i'd always run up to them and try to hop on, lol
Nice Beast Ludo 9 months ago
I thought those were cemented to the ground *ideas forming in mind*
#25
#26
Nea 9 months ago
Lately I have been having these spam emails-“ we have received your payment”.
Lady Eowyn 9 months ago
I've gotten this, too. Also the *your payment is overdue and your subscription will be cancelled without immediate payment." To something I've never even heard of.
Load More Replies... T'Mar of Vulcan 9 months ago
I had R400 taken out of my credit card hey, and then daily payments for R20 hey, and yislaaik what a pain it was to get a new card and the money refunded, but they did hey. (Did you hear that in a South African accent? I hope so, hey.)
Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 9 months ago
I had a phishing text the other day saying quite the opposite. Along the lines of 'You have won our weekly draw. Please go to this site to confirm your details' I'm quite sure many would excitedly just click on the link before questioning it.
Ozymandias73 9 months ago
I've been getting ones that say "your payment of X-hundered dollars via Paypal has been proscessed. That's funny because I don't have a Paypal account.
Tim Douglass 9 months ago
I get the PayPal one frequently, but it's funny because it's never to my PayPal e-mail account, which is only used for PayPal.
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Colin Matthews 9 months ago
Public Service Reminder: the only person who can charge or use your account or credit cards is YOU. Anything else is the bank's problem not yours...
#27
ScarletRos 9 months ago
I did the same thing when I was eight too. Kids just showed up and my mum reluctantly took us all to McDonalds.
#28
Auntriarch 9 months ago (edited)
I asked for adoption leave when I got my first greyhound, it was refused, speciesism or what?
#29
Schrödinger's Douchebag 9 months ago
A few moments later... 'So do you guys think my horse needs a sheep?'
justagirl 9 months ago
a few more moments later..."So do you guys think my elephant needs a pterodactyl?"
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Lady Eowyn 9 months ago
I know an old lady who swallowed a horse, she died of course
Load More Replies... Jay Scales 9 months ago
I got my fat cat a lively kitten thinking they would chase & play..... No, fat cat lays down & swats at the kitten as it jumps around him :D
Karri Berkowitz 9 months ago
My puppy loves his big brother kitten. My cat hates her kitten brother do it worked out
BiggBoii 9 months ago
2 boerboel dogs, 1 x oggro Oscar fish and his emotional support sucker fish and 1 battle hedgehog later, my army must grow
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#30
Trophy Husband 9 months ago
"That's where it will breaks down, you see..."
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Jane Hower 8 months ago
I got rid of all the fattening food in my fridge last night!!! And it sure was delishous.
#31
Jay Scales 9 months ago
Sometimes I'm talking to myself & it turns into an argument, tho.... :D
sara jahan 9 months ago
Nowadays there are many people seen talking to themselves on the road. It is only when they come near you, you realize that they are talking on their phones with earphones / buds in their ears !!
Never Snarky 9 months ago
I love the looks on people's faces when I'm talking to myself on the street.
#32
Child of the Stars 9 months ago
I'm afraid to enjoy it too much. Where I'm at, March can be very...temperamental 🥶🥵😳
Ozymandias73 9 months ago
Only thing is Spring is playing jokes. It just pulled up their long johns.
#33
Firstname Lastname 9 months ago
Better than claiming you just made it this morning, har de har. 🙄
Panda Bear 9 months ago
As someone who works custom service 100 dollar bills are the bane of my existence. Stop paying for your $20 purchase with 100s!
#34
#35
BeesEelsAndPups 9 months ago
I am flying to Dubai tomorrow morning. I hope I'm still alive by tomorrow evening.
Kalikima 9 months ago
I'm gonna keep you in my thoughts, the idea of flying right now scares me to death. Good luck!
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#36
MotherofGuineaPigs 9 months ago
Thank you... I will now be singing this all day long
Load More Replies... Alisha Natzel 9 months ago
Right. In which context would this be my first thought!
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michael Chock 9 months ago
If you guessed it, that family member has bigger problems than over sharing.
Nicole Weymann 9 months ago
"You guessed it". Nope, didn't. I think if ANYBODY guessed this kinda thing it's either because their stalking unlocked a new level of creepy or you might wanna rethink your diet and, MORE importantly, your communication habits. In other words: nobody wants to know shít about your shít.
Blue Bunny of Happiness 9 months ago
I was walking down the lane and I felt a sudden pain, diarrhoea, diarrhoea. My mother wasn't in so I did it in the bin, diarrhoea diarrhoea...
#37
April Pickett 9 months ago
The toilet looks clean, get the earring. They have sinks and soap.
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#38
#39
Shaggy 9 months ago
Flew a ton before covid. now not so much. I was that guy at security that was dead a*s staring blankly as the security lady said no shoes in the bins... as I put my shoes in the bin. I was so flustered at that point that I completely forgot I had my laptop bag. I got yelled at to get my laptop out of my bag and belt off... Sigh.......
Sue User 9 months ago
Sometimes they make you take the kaptop out of the bag and send it through by itself. Sometimes they tell you it is okay to leave it in the bag and send the bag with laptop through together.
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Never Snarky 9 months ago
It's easy when the rules keep changing. I'm about to fly after not having done so for several years. I'm sure I'll screw up somewhere. I'm not worried. I won't be the only one.
Jan Moore 9 months ago
On our last flight, I packed a large Baby Powder (Corn Starch), TSA confiscated it, said I wouldn't be getting it back because it was so large it would take more time to examine. I love my baby powder, I'm fat and I don't like skin sticking to skin and we were going to Costa Rica. My Husbands non-talc, non-cornstarch Ammends just doesn't cut it. Next time it will go in checked luggage.
#40
April Pickett 9 months ago
She should have capitalized "MY" baby shower so that everyone would know who was responsible for no meatballs at the shower.
Janelle Collard 9 months ago
Yeah, so everyone would know *not* to attend the shower!
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Norm Gilmore 9 months ago
Very important in my region... :-) https://www.hastingsdc.govt.nz/our-council/my-hastings/article/3325/hastings-meatball-festival-headlines-fawc
#41
#43
znhgww9rs6 9 months ago
Right? Stirring AND serving over rice? They're really asking for a lot these days smh
#47
Ozymandias73 9 months ago
Nah. The happy go lucky energetic one is mine. The depressed one and shy one are both NPC that rarely show themselves.
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#49
Nicole Weymann 9 months ago
It looks like a corner of a cond0m pack (which is his first thought) - or really just about anything else that comes in a similar plastic bag (which would be my thought).
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DowntownStevieB 9 months ago
So, the car is dirty and smells like some sort of Bath & Body Works fruit spray?
#50
#51
Lyoness 9 months ago
Lost again, looked it up. It's https://archiveofourown.org/ (Archive of our own - a fanfiction site).
Ace 9 months ago
I've seen that site sometimes, seems to be full of sex stories, although maybe that's just the ones my searches have brought up...
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Vanessa Steis 9 months ago (edited)
n we = and we +++ ++ +++ and AO3 according to google: What is AO3 and how does it work? AO3 stands for Archive of Our Own. It's a fan created, fan run non-profit, non-commercial archive for transformative fan works. It contains fanfiction, fan art, fan videos, and podfic. It's a place where you can find anything you can imagine.
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#53
#54
river 9 months ago
there's a pop artist that's really big right now named "Chappel Roan," and one of her bigger songs is titled "Pink Pony Club." I'm not sure why you were downvoted instead of the person explaining it to you. hope this helped.
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#56
#58
Lyoness 9 months ago
I thought it was just me so I used Google lens and it said "The image appears to be a scene from the Spanish reality TV show "La Isla de las Tentaciones" ("Temptation Island"). The text "She posted flowers I feel sick" refers to a moment when contestant Jose Carlos Montoya reacted emotionally after seeing his girlfriend, Anita Williams, seemingly connecting with another person. This reaction and phrase have become a viral meme, particularly in Spanish-speaking contexts. "La Isla de las Tentaciones" involves couples being separated on an island and tempted by singles to test their relationships."
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What do you think ?
Simon Chen 9 months ago
Did not get half of it, other half was unfunny whining about mental health
Carter Stach 9 months ago
I couldn't see half of it, half of the first half was funny tho. I don't know what everyone else is talking about
Simon Chen 9 months ago
Did not get half of it, other half was unfunny whining about mental health
Carter Stach 9 months ago
I couldn't see half of it, half of the first half was funny tho. I don't know what everyone else is talking about
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