Maybe that's how they met their fathers

Ah. See, I just don't exercise 🤷‍♀️

*hysterically clicking the cancel subscription button*

Now that's funny!

Hoot.

I want to fly with this pilot forever

Once when was 4 when I woke up and started crying, my mother asked if I had a bad dream and I said no, I woke up. Sometimes I still feel like crying when I wake up.

Try a size 12

Best. Explanation. Ever

Does it have pockets?

And when we cough, stand up, sit down, dance, trip, laugh, jump on trampolines, walk, run, exercise, get frightened, live, breathe........

Her breasts were the size of watermelons, and were perky and all natural despite her small frame.

Love this one!!

woah, a tad bit close

She was hiding under a trailer, I saw him on the side of the road, I chased him up a hill and pulled him out of the brambles. (All true cat rescue stories)

This age difference isn't going to work out

He's gonna go places. Not sure where, but places

Rich people call this a "personal assistant".

"uhhh- a blade of grass?"

🤣🤣🤣

My daughter

Same.

Isn't it disgusting how men feel entitled to call women bitches for not wanting to talk to them? I feel like every single woman I know has a story like this, and a story about being assaulted or violated in some way. Like okay neckbeard, get back to your basement where you belong.

Whereas I have been described as a b***h.

I find it much easier to talk to someone that I am not interested in. If I want them to leave me alone, I just say whatever weird thing pops into my head & see how long it takes for me to scare them off 😉

I’ve also been described as ‘mute,’ ‘expressionless’ and ‘resting b***h face,’ It’s when I reply, ‘ I’m lining up your face in my imaginary Glock sights and pulling the trigger.’ That I get the label, ‘psycho.’ Suddenly the crowded bar is empty? 🤷‍♀️

"I talk to lots of people--just not you."

hahah same. Those people that I want to talk to know differently.

DITTO😅😅😅😅😅

Every flight should have a Roscoe 🐶

And how is the apprenticeship going?

Hello toilet my old friend

oh yes

Um…. You’re not supposed to do that either.

What about making an L with your index finger and thumb to help you remember which way is left?

WISH DENIED

My mom was Miss 'take off those earphones and put away that Walkman' years 1982 to 1990.

Someone is in for an awakening

Back handed compliments.

If someone could invent this for me, my little sweaty legs will be grateful. Being menopausal but also neurodivergent sucks monkey butts at times.

I’m a teen and I have a favorite. It’s the front right btw

Why is the front facing camera always set for shock?

NOOOOO YOU MONSTER

And knowing that when my dog play sneezes while playing with me means that he's happy and having a good time 😭😭

Is it appropriate to ask how much they are willing to pay? Just for my business plan.

Yeah, all my favourite snacks are with me, nothing to lose

Second date seems out of question then

Yes!

And a group of Kevins is called Fox News

do they at least have beer