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Optimal-Talk3663 , cottonbro studio Report

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed Sitting in an outdoor area of a cafe with some friends, and a couple of girls walk out of the cafe to where we were sitting.

One of the girls says “I’ll f**k the next guy that talks to me”. Friend of mine jumped up and said “hey how you doing?” (Ala Joey from Friends).. they’ve been married nearly 10 years.

Final score:

279points

POST

Fussy1 2 months ago

Aww bless, what a beautiful story to share for generations to follow, 'How I met your mother/grandmother/great gran'...and then everybody clapped.

111points

FlyLikeAHedgehog , Ketut Subiyanto Report

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed On the London tube, in 2019, a Dutch young lady sat next to me. She was clearly on a "walk of shame", and on the phone, describing, in some detail, last night's sexual endeavours. She was obviously assuming no one could understand what she was saying.

My family was standing close. By the time she was done recounting how she and her date had made love for eight(!) hours, I asked my oldest daughter, who was standing next to me, whether she wanted to sit. In Dutch 😁.

Final score:

229points

POST

Fussy1 2 months ago

Don't leave us hanging, we need to know what happened....did your daughter sit or stay standing?!

125points

Separate-Life4570 , RDNE Stock project Report

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed Him "You're being such a b***h, go eat a snickers!"
Her "I'm alergic to peanuts, you a$$hole!"
Him "I know!!"

Bus stops in my old city almost always seemed to have crazy c**p going on.

Final score:

198points

POST

That tiny x on the pop up add 2 months ago

"Go eat a snickers!" is the best way ever to tell off someone.

63points

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed In a fast food restaurant, teenage identical twin girls were working together and apparently arguing about something. One turns to the other and says "well you're ugly!".

dreadmon1 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

183points

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Savannah greenleaf 2 months ago

I was married to a man that had an identical twin. They got into and argument that lead to a fist. Hands Down funniest fight I have ever seen icing on the cake they kept yelling out "your mom" jokes. I repeat identical twins fighting and trying to put down the other with your mom jokes. It did not occur to them they had the same mother.

120points

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed Bloke about sixty in Regents Park to a woman of roughly the same age: "Mum's gone lesbian and I don't know what to do."

Circa 1981.

ukhamlet , Анна Хазова Report

Final score:

176points

POST

Boredest Panda 2 months ago

Nothing, let her live her life

75points

HalfHeartedFanatic , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed 2001, Washington DC, A young couple sitting behind me in a movie theater, waiting to see The Lord of the Rings.

Woman: Is this, like, a made up thing, or did it really happen?

Man: This is real.

Final score:

173points

POST

Lily Robertson 2 months ago

To be fair, if someone had asked me that question, i probably would have deadpanned the same answer. Followed by, "Look it up! There's a whole series of history books on it!"

128points

A stressed father and his little son in the morning commute rush. The dad yelled at his son for not walking fast enough, with his back turned to the escalator. The son said "but daaad, it's going the wrong way", upon which the dad answered "come on for f**k's sake, stop messing around". Then the dad, still with his back facing the escalator, took a step back on it and just like the boy had stated, the stairs went in the opposite direction- consequently causing the dad to faceplant on the ground in front of the escalator. The dad: "Ooooouch! ..... Daddy was wrong, kiddo....".

BellinaPhalange Report

Final score:

165points

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Lost Panda 2 months ago

At least he admitted it

121points

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed Overheard on the phone, "well I’m sure the cat had his reasons, what did the cat therapist say?"

ungo-stbr , Tranmautritam Report

Final score:

163points

POST

Nikole 2 months ago

I believe the term is “catrapist”. Oh no, I’m pulling a Tobias

45points

#10

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed We were are a pizza place. Sitting at a table were a little girl, her mother, and her grandmother. Apparently, little girl was learning that "mommy and daddy have real names too" ... but she wasn't getting it.

So grandma asked "what does mommy call daddy?" And the girl just didn't understand. Then grandma asked "What does daddy call mommy?" And the girl's face lit up -- now she understands! And with a huge smile, she answered that daddy calls mommy "A*****e.".

hymie0 , Marko Tuokko Report

Final score:

163points

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Isa 2 months ago

And just like that the family secret was discovered...

68points

#11

Was at the store and this lady had a small boy who was looking at the candy. He was about 5-6 years old I guess. He wanted some candy, and she said “you will get some tomorrow”

To which he replied
“Bull****t”.

Infadel71 Report

Final score:

152points

POST

Tortitude 2 months ago

You can't kid a kid

62points

OpportunityGold4597 Report

#12

Was on a roadtrip, stopped at In-N-Out for lunch and after ordering I went to use the restroom. I was at the urinal when I heard two little boys (about 5 years old and 8 years old) and their grandpa talking. The older little kid said "I'm sure glad you came on this trip with us Grandpa." The grandpa said "yeah, I'm f*****g glad too", and the littler boy responded with "f**k yeah". I had to try not to laugh.

Final score:

139points

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glowworm2 2 months ago

Awesome. Grandpa is teaching the little guy a new word and how to use it correctly. Also, this is honestly very cute.

66points

#13

Whilst wandering around a castle ruin in Scotland, there was a group of youths (ages 10 to 15) walking up the steep, stone stairs from the basements. A chubby boy was lagging behind. When another boy chided him to keep up, chubby boy called out:

"I'M TRYING TO PRESERVE ME LEGS!".

ansonchappell Report

Final score:

139points

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Momma Jess 2 months ago

Noting this one for my personal arsenal 🤣

58points

#14

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed At a big jam band show/hippie festival. "Bro, that wasn't unicorn meat... it was just turkey with glitter!"

abbie_yoyo , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

136points

POST

Talis 2 months ago

How does he know how unicorn meat tastes?

65points

#15

I stepped up to the bar to close a tab and was standing next to a couple who I assumed were on a first date. I was only there long enough to hear the guy say “I’m not saying I’d do it. Right? I’m not. I’m just saying that I understand - in the right circumstances, like if you were stuck on an island, for like years - why someone would f**k a sheep…”

If your date said that to you at Cesar’s Killer Margaritas around 2016, I’ve been dying to know how the rest of that conversation went.

LAX_to_MDW Report

Final score:

132points

POST

Chewie Baron 2 months ago

At least date the sheep first!

52points

#16

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed I'm cruising the fruits and veggies section at the grocery store, 2 female produce department employees are stocking the banananas. One, likely in training at the time, asks the other "Should the greener ones go at the back?" to which the other replies, "It doesn't matter, a banana's a banana, woman!" Right at that moment, a very large man on a motorized scooter with an oxygen tube in his nose comes around the corner and makes it apparent he only heard the last two words of the employees exchange by shouting "What the hell is a 'banana woman'!?"

I laughed out loud.

Darth_Ribbious , Maria Pinto Report

Final score:

129points

POST

Farnzy 2 months ago

As a produce person...YES! GREEN BANANAS FURTHER BACK!

113points

#17

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed I was in target passing the toy section and there was a mid 20s looking woman with her partner. They passed the the hex bugs and she said "oh I remember hex bugs! I used that as my first vibrator as a kid".

CptJaxxParrow , mac morrison Report

Final score:

129points

POST

Nikole 2 months ago

Some of us had Doodle Pens

59points

#18

I was in a bar and walked past a table of 30-something women, just as one of them slyly said, “I learned something about Chad’s balls last night.”

That was about four years ago and I still wonder what the deal is with Chad’s balls.

LocalAndi Report

Final score:

123points

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Stephanie Did It 2 months ago (edited)

Maybe he was beating people up with them?

63points

#19

My coworker was on her phone during downtime. Became very upset and switched from one call to another.

"He died, mama. No- Mama, he had the dogs. They ate his face."

Froze the room. When she finally ended the call she turned to us and said "Never do fentanyl."

Symnestra Report

Final score:

119points

POST

Irishwoman abroad 2 months ago

Ooh, that's terrible

47points

#20

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed Two nerds were sitting near me on the subway, and I heard one say to the other, "I don't care what anyone says -- *never* trust a ninja.".

wipeoutpop , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

115points

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Irishwoman abroad 2 months ago

Well, he had a point...

47points

#21

I’ve had some classes in psychology and worked in mental health. I live near the university in town and was standing in line at a grocery store when I overheard one young man say to the other, “I heard you have s*icidal tendencies”? I was absolutely mortified for 2.5 seconds until the other young man said, “Yeah, I just got their newest CD”.

moonkittiecat Report

Final score:

114points

POST

RabidChild 2 months ago (edited)

All I wanted was a Pepsi and she wouldn't give it to me. Institutionalized! I'm not crazy!

64points

#22

While standing in line for the bathroom in a restaurant.

“You don’t always have to poop when you pee, but you always have to pee when you poop.”

So wise.

duckface_killah Report

Final score:

113points

POST

Nat Rich 2 months ago

Ancient Chinese proverb

80points

#23

Girl sitting in front of me during one of my night classes “ omg thanksgiving is on a Thursday AGAIN????”.

Advantage_Loud Report

Final score:

109points

POST

Judy Reynolds 2 months ago

In Canada, it is always a Monday!

45points

#24

I was at an ice cream shop years ago, and a pair of English tourists were ahead of me, looking so cliche I could hardly stand it. He was skinny, hunched and balding, she was tall, broad shouldered, brash.

They got their cones, and the husband’s was a triple scoop in a waffle cone. His wife looked at it and, sounding like a Monty Python pepperpot (when they’re in drag), said “OOH! It’s a BIG one, Nigel!”

Swampwolf42 Report

Final score:

104points

POST

Libstak 2 months ago

That's what she said

88points

#25

I saw these two guys arguing and one of them yells "Ij t vatt ca uallr" (neapolitan lol) that literally means "I'll beat you up with my ball sack".

Sana_Mustdiewoah Report

Final score:

98points

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Lily Robertson 2 months ago

Now, there's a man who doesn't have to drive a jumped up giant truck!

56points

#26

I was at Chick Fil A breaking up with my ex fiancé, when a mom was dragging her kid out of the play area.

Kid: “how did you even see me go in there?!”

Mom: “I have eyes everywhere, baby”

Kid: “…even on your BUTT?!”.

Coco-Da_Bean Report

Final score:

97points

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Beverly Lodge 2 months ago

Who was the "ex fiancé " part for?

63points

#27

Couple standing at the self-service till in the supermarket. The woman goes to get her purse out of her bag and complains to her boyfriend that the ‘zip on zip’ is broken. He looks puzzled and asks her what a zip on zip is. She stares at him in incomprehension and gestures at the zip on her bag and says ‘The zip on zip! What do you think I mean?’. Both he and most of the queue behind them look at the zip on the bag, trying to work out what it is that makes it a zip on zip. There is nothing special about it. It is just a zip. He stares at it for awhile and then, in the voice of one who knows he is probably about to be yelled at, asks he if she just means the zip. She throws her hands up in the air and storms off, leaving him to pay for the shopping. He turns to the queue with a confused look on his face, like he is questioning his sense of reality. We all give him sympathetic smiles that aim to communicate that we have no bloody clue what she was going on about either.

J8766557 Report

Final score:

96points

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Mimi M 2 months ago

I think that she meant the zipper (i.e., pull) tab on the zipper has broken off.

55points

HalfwaytotheHorizon Report

#28

Sitting in my car outside a Blockbuster, when Blockbusters were a thing.

Manager, to a dude: "There's no loitering here, sir."

Dude: "I'm not loitering, I'm just standing here."

Manager: "That's what loitering MEANS, dumb*ss."

Final score:

95points

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Robert Millar 2 months ago

I'm not loitering, I'm lollygagging!

60points

#29

"Hardest thing being a dom is the guys keep falling in love with you" between two girls talking, late night at a taco stand.

timebeing Report

Final score:

92points

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LB 2 months ago

That's probably the hardest part, I'd imagine.

32points

#30

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed Bartending in the west village one night, two pretty stereotypical finance-type guys are sitting having drinks and one says to the other with the utmost sincerity, “man, i just want what monica and chandler have. *that’s* true love!”.

spit-casually , NBC Report

Final score:

89points

POST

HangryHangryHippo 2 months ago

RIP Matthew Perry 💔

81points

IAmASolipsist , Andrea Piacquadio Report

#31

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed "Every time I dream about fish I end up being pregnant."

Final score:

87points

POST

Stephanie Did It 2 months ago

Hyper awareness of those little swimmers

67points

onlyexcellentchoices , Anna Shvets Report

#32

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed "She ain't goin to the club, I guarantee it. She don't drop it low for nobody but Jesus."

-some girl on the phone in the university library.

Final score:

84points

POST

Isa 2 months ago

J̌ésus hernandez, jumped in excitement when he heard his name, thinking that finally the girl that he has been stalking for a long time, is going to finally be his...he couldn't wait till he have her in his arms. Jésus was really proud with himself for going to the library on that day and heard such wonderful news...

57points

#33

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed At the ren fair one year my friend and I overheard a woman with a stroller say "shut up or you're going in the dumpster."

Hide_the_Bodies , Kamaji Ogino Report

Final score:

83points

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LB 2 months ago

Oh no.

26points

#34

"John Lennon was a talentless hack. Now Tupac, he could write a song." Two teenagers on a train, suburban Australia, early 2000s.

Kickedmetoe Report

Final score:

82points

POST

Lost Panda 2 months ago

The real question is... did the person hit them with a stick?

51points

#35

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed At a tattoo expo overheard a dude say " I'm gonna get a tattoo above one of my nips that says smile you're on camera".

Tmpeedle , Pavel Danilyuk Report

Final score:

77points

POST

AKA AKA 2 months ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

12points

Relevant-League3125 , cottonbro studio Report

#36

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed While food running at a previous restaurant job I heard a 12yo say “and that’s when I called CPS”.

Final score:

76points

POST

Farnzy 2 months ago

Wow that's sad

43points

#37

A man standing at urinal stall yelling “cmoooooon P*NISSS”.

Son_Of_Groceries Report

Final score:

74points

POST

Colleen Glim 2 months ago

Go p*nis, go p*nis! You can do it!

34points

#38

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed "She fit in the closet perfectly."

Nefarity , Ketut Subiyanto Report

Final score:

65points

POST

Boredest Panda 2 months ago

It’s the new trend. Ditch the clothes in the actually closet, wear the closet instead!

24points

#39

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed "Well it's different for you - you've got veins!"

On the bus.

naalbinding , SHVETS production Report

Final score:

61points

POST

Stephanie Did It 2 months ago

I'm of mostly Bavarian and Scandinavian descent, with fair skin and very prominent veins in my hands and arms. More than once, I've been asked what's "wrong" with me with all that blue showing under my skin. My answer is Well, I'm really white and you can sort of see through me...

44points

#40

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed “Being gay is a religion.”

Monokrohm2020 , Alexander Grey Report

Final score:

47points

POST

Lily Robertson 2 months ago

No lie, i've prayed for an amazing woman to ask me out.

76points

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#41

"Would The Muppets ruin the Passion of the Christ?".

StoneTimeKeeper Report

Final score:

28points

POST

The Doom Song 2 months ago

Um why do I want this all of a sudden?

34points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#42

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed I was taking a picture of the sunset at college and this guy walked by with his friends and he said “I painted that”.

anon , Antoni Shkraba Report

Final score:

26points

POST

Isa 2 months ago

God normally is undercover while he walks among us, but for some reason he decided to tell this simple phrase, because you know he works in mysterious ways...

16points

_NAME_NAME_NAME_ , Ketut Subiyanto Report

#43

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed I once found myself waiting for quite a while at a railway station. I don't remember the exact circumstances, but I overheard a conversation between two women. One said to the other, presumably because their train was delayed, "we've got time, nobody's waiting for us anyway".

This has since turned into a running joke between my mother (who I was traveling with) and myself anytime we lose time waiting.

Final score:

25points

POST

Family's_disappointment 2 months ago

Hahahaha😂😂😂

2points

#44

In Ohio, lady standing in line at the Kroger deli, *screaming* into her phone, "Well, you know how they are at NASA!"

LivingInPugtopia Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Michael Largey 2 months ago

You mean they ain't exactly rocket scientists? But, wait, ...

6points

See Also on Bored Panda

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#45

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed "I always drink beer through a straw, it concentrates the alcohol so you get drunk quicker"

Overheard at a college party like 10 years ago, and it lives in my head rentfree.

Sharcbait , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

24points

POST

LB 2 months ago

I have heard theories about drinking through a straw getting you drunk more quickly but it was because you're increasing the opportunity for exchange of alcohol between the fluid in your mouth and the blood in your palate. Looked it up, no evidence for any of the theories - it might still work but because you're just drinking more quickly.

11points

quadruple_negative87 Report

#46

I was waiting in the emergency room with my wife and we deduced that this guy had tried to spice it up in the bedroom and stuck a carrot up his rear end and was not able to retrieve it.

Final score:

24points

POST

Colleen Glim 2 months ago

Brings a whole new meaning to vegan

18points

#47

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed “Edward! Bella! Git over here!”

-a mom in Oklahoma to her kids.

Anishinaapunk , jonas mohamadi Report

Final score:

23points

POST

Nikole 2 months ago

Knowing people, this makes sense. I wonder if they sparkled.

18points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

#48

Went to see one of the bale batman movies and they had a trailer for Superman at the start and a little kid said loudly enough that everyone could hear "I thought we were watching batman" which caused everyone in the cinema to laugh.

Mr_master89 Report

Final score:

21points

POST

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#49

“They’re repackaging the regular lettuce, and selling it as organic lettuce.

…it’s lettuce crop circles, man.”.

anon Report

Final score:

21points

POST

Richard Graham 2 months ago

Lettuce pray.

10points

#50

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed “How many milkshakes can you have, before you throw up?” - a guy talking to his friend whilst they were walking past me.

Been a couple of months and I still wonder that.

Br0z0 , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

20points

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Colleen Glim 2 months ago

Since I’m lactose intolerant, one on a good day

13points

#51

Listening in to public conversation between two young dude. "Just be her friend first. Get to know her... What if you get to know her and she laughs weird... ... ... What if you get to know her and she's a big racist."

In that order. Can't be with her if she's got a bad laugh. Or if she's a big racist.

AmandaExpress Report

Final score:

19points

POST

Libstak 2 months ago

What ifs always escalate as conversations progress, that was the correct order....

26points

#52

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed Once I was walking by a movie theater. Two old ladies came out, and they were talking about that s****y Lion King remake from 2019. One of the old ladies was in utter shock and disbelief. She kept saying, "How did they do that? Did they use real animals?"

Real animals. In Lion King 2019.

jimbomcjohn , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

19points

POST

Patsy Robins 2 months ago

Fair enough question. They look real, & you said they were old, so they probably don’t understand how good CGI is these days.

14points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#53

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed Some teen on a train station: "so what's a train?"

NowAlexYT , mali maeder Report

Final score:

19points

POST

Isa 2 months ago

John always have lived in the mountains surrounded by sheeps and tall grass...this was his first time in the city and he had so many questions...

9points

BusinessNecessary403 Report

#54

“Yeah well, a hole’s a hole.”

Final score:

18points

POST

Tom Brincefield 2 months ago

Was he holding a carrot when he said that?

27points

#55

Overhead someone reference an event they referred to as "the dolphin incident" years ago.

Never found out what transpired but I still think about it every now and then.

aleques-itj Report

Final score:

18points

POST

WindySwede 2 months ago

You probably don't wanna know...?

12points

#56

Had a weird convo on this Xmas eve. Husband and I walked into a Walgreens, go to the registers and the cashier comes up behind really close before going to the register. She's looks at us, grins and say "were you just at McDonald's?" We tell her no and my husband asks if she's hungry. She smiles even bigger and says "No, I just have a really good nose."

Was the weirdest convo we busted out laughing when we got outside.

DudeHeadAwesome Report

Final score:

18points

POST

Aussiegirl 2 months ago

I hate going to Subway cause you smell like bread all day

6points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

See Also on Bored Panda

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#57

A friend overheard 2 girl’s complaining about a boyfriend. And the 1 girl said “and that’s when he gave me herpes for the 3rd time!!”

Lmao.

Katerinaxoxo Report

Final score:

17points

POST

Colleen Glim 2 months ago

The definition of crazy is doing the same dude over and over again expecting a different result

17points

#58

One time, while I was grocery shopping, I overheard a mom tell her young child not to touch anything in the store, because that’s how you get herpes.

SimthingEvilLurks Report

Final score:

17points

POST

Lost Panda 2 months ago

A tactic to keep them from touching EVERYTHING in the store, but not sure herpes should have been the go to...

9points

#59

One fine day on the subway in Toronto:

Four of us are standing, hanging on to the grab bars and hand straps, and chattering away in Esperanto. I distinctly hear someone nearby say, in English, “I have no idea what language those people are speaking, but it sure is loud!”

Komiksulo Report

Final score:

16points

POST

James Doe 2 months ago (edited)

Maybe take the hint and try to speak quieter! (Even more annoying: It Could even be perceived as purposefully speaking super loud to show off those Esperanto skills)

15points

#60

Dunno about -est, but this happened last week:

Went into the *men's* bathroom of a niche ski village breakfast diner - picture old antique ski gear, wood-carved bears and quaint German village mystique - and I overheard a *woman* in one of the stalls talking to their teenage *daughter* about something. Apparently, the daughter was constipated.

> Mom: Are you sure you don't want help?

> Daughter: No, Mom. I'm fine

> Mom: Okay, well, I'm just gonna step out and update your Dad, Kay?

> Daughter: Okay, go.

> Mom: And you're sure you don't need a book?

> Daughter: Mom, gosh, I'm old enough to handle my own business without my parents! How just go get Dad and leave me alone!

WordsLikeRoses Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Papa 2 months ago

I'm confused. What's with the asterisks around men's, woman, and daughter in the second paragraph?

5points

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

See Also on Bored Panda

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#61

Husband and I were in Washington DC once near the white house, was sitting on a bench eating a donut and a woman on a street corner across the street was dressed as a nun, wearing fishnet stockings, and kept pulling her outer garments to her waist (exposing herself) while screaming “I’m celibate”. Weirdly it went on for the entirety we were there in the general vicinity (30mins or so) and she was still going strong when we left. Not a single person acknowledged her or made any attempt to stop her.

mtgkajhit Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Michael Largey 2 months ago

These people need some sort of hobby when they're not on the floor of Congress.

27points

#62

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed Behind me, I heard a young woman of 25 say, "If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college."

valjean816 , Jennifer Murray Report

Final score:

14points

POST

SomeGurlOnline 2 months ago

This is from Lewis Black's stand up. I know because I was thinking of posting this too.

24points

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

#63

"Look I know she goes to *Church*, but she hasn't been to, *you* know, *The Bay*. It can be confrontational for the young ones, I just don't know if she's a *good fit*."

Not entirely unconvinced those two random suburban ladies in a cafe were not in a cult.

kiwibreakfast Report

Final score:

14points

POST

See Also on Bored Panda

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#64

Hotel breakfast
Him: Can you make pancakes in that toaster? (the toaster with a big sign above it saying “do not put anything other than bread through the toaster”)
Her: I did… but they got stuck.

realmofconfusion Report

Final score:

14points

POST

Weirdo with Internet 2 months ago

Did he... Pour the batter in?

6points

Just4TheSpamAndEggs Report

#65

Once accidentally received a pocket dial of someone receiving their STI results...yikes.

Final score:

13points

POST

FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa 2 months ago

Weird how a doctors office would pocket dial anyone. They also typically ask for the patient, as well as other identifying questions, specific to that patient before disclosing any info. Well they're supposed to do all that, anyway.

2points

#66

"Well, I write sonic fan fiction" heard inside of a gamestop.

Fr3eHat Report

Final score:

12points

POST

Nat Rich 2 months ago

Interested lol

4points

#67

40 Times People Accidentally Eavesdropped On Conversations And Weren’t Disappointed “I farted on her plate and she still enjoyed her meal”.

mastersheeef , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

11points

POST

Colleen Glim 2 months ago

Why would you even? And then posting/bragging about it?!

5points

#68

I was in the washroom and heard a guy from procurement taking a p**s while still on the call with some lady about delivering carrots.

Vaganhope_UAE Report

Final score:

9points

POST

Sally Horrocks 2 months ago

I used to work in a call centre. If you're peeing or poohing while on the phone to us we can hear it. Don't do it, it's nasty.

9points

#69

“You should spray perfume on your shoes”.

The-Proud-Snail Report

Final score:

7points

POST

iBlank 2 months ago

at one of the offices I used to work at some guy would spray cologne when he took a c**p... the combination of those smells is 10x worse than either alone.

4points

#70

I love listening to tourists walking around Disney World because they say the funniest things.
A few of my favorites:

A dad to a kid who was trailing behind tired lying.
"Come on, you can sleep on Ariel."

Another was a couple who were absolutely convinced the Monorail to Epcot was inside the Magic Kingdom. I still wonder how long it took them to realize how wrong they were.

And couple months ago two teenage girls were on their phones in Epcot and nearly walked right into us.
The guy behind us was like: "People like that should be popped in the face. "

B2utyyo Report

Final score:

6points

POST

iBlank 2 months ago

I was walking in the park and a few kids were laughing and playing in the creek. One of them screamed "this is better than Disney!" The parents nearby looked at each other knowingly. I'm pretty sure those kids visited the creek a lot more than Disney from there on out

7points

Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

Read less »

I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

Read less »

What do you think ?

POST

Jeremy James 2 months ago

I was walking by the Beverly Center in L.A. and I saw a woman in her 70's and a younger woman in her 20's coming towards me on the sidewalk. As they passed, I heard the older woman say, "Now, my husband's safe-word will be broomstick..."

17points

Lee Banks 2 months ago

Some poor soul overhead a conversation between my person, and I. "Babe. Ben Shapiro. Just remember Ben Shapiro. Least sexy thing that ever happened."

7points

Mimi M 2 months ago (edited)

Positive, trivial, fun, meaningless = good!

10points

Chewie Baron 2 months ago

I was sat behind two elderly men on a bus once. They were talking about Jack Russells, and at one point, one man says “I don’t know why they do, but they do seem to have issues”

9points

Edward Finger Hands 2 months ago (edited)

One of my favorites: in the catacombs beneath Paris. A man to his date (whom he was obviously trying to impress) “the nose bones are the most fragile, that’s why they’re all broken off the skulls.” She nodded pensively. 🙄🤦‍♀️

6points

Donna Peluda 2 months ago

In a pub in UK, behind the bar 2 Spanish girls. I speak Spanish, she said in quite a loud voice, I told him, you can take me out to dinner, but you want pussy it's cash upfront.

6points

Richard Graham 2 months ago

There was a strike of cab drivers. The buses were packed. A very elegant older woman gets on the bus, sits grandly down, and says to the bus driver "Cathedral Mansions Apartments, please." Everybody on the packed bus broke out laughing.

6points

Stephanie Did It 2 months ago

In a Los Angeles restaurant: Two burly men were in the booth next to us, and one said to the other, "I'm going to the john. Don't break anything and don't hurt anybody."

6points

OneHappyPuppy 2 months ago

My cousin was walking down a street recounting her difficult morning wake up to us since she was staying at my aunt's place for the summer, and my aunt had a chihuahua back then. A bunch of poor souls stared in disbelief at us when they overheard a segment of her story - "...she kept licking and licking me, but her breath stank like hell..." I burst out laughing

5points

CanadianDimes 2 months ago

My next door neighbour when I lived in New Jersey, to her teenage son: "Get in the car or I'm taking this sandwich and going to Newark!"

5points

Chocolate Chip 2 months ago

One time In middle school I walked out into the courtyard during lunch and noticed a 7th grade girl crying. As I walked by, she said to her friend "I just can't believe he dumped me for a bag of Takis."

4points

James Anthony 2 months ago

One day when I still attended church, a young kid was in a pew swinging a rosary around and around quietly...when the priest stopped talking he started spinning the rosary faster and yelled "HANG ON, JESUS!' His parents couldn't get him out of the church fast enough, lol.

4points

Cee Cee 2 months ago

Enjoyed this. Reminded me of a regular column in the Saturday Guardian (UK broadsheet) "All Ears". Miss that column.

4points

Pill Nathan Whitely 2 months ago

Downtown Seattle bus stop. An apparently homeless man approaches a young woman who looks like an office worker. Politely asks for her number. She very nicely agrees to give him her work number. He produces an avocado. "Here, write it on this." (She produced a piece of paper to use.) At a different downtown Seattle bus stop, an apparently homeless man comes along trying to sell ONE white, knee high, high heeled boot. No takers there, so he moved along.

3points

Adam Benson 2 months ago (edited)

This reminds me of a young woman talking on her phone in a supermarket. As I walked past I heard her saying 'and I told him if he ever does that again, I'm cutting it off!' I didn't hang around to hear the rest of the conversation.

2points

Marnie 2 months ago

Not an "overheard" conversation, but the funniest thing I heard coming in in the middle of a discussion was on the radio. I turned it on, and a woman said, "No, no! You can GENTLY plow turtles."

2points

Marnie 2 months ago (edited)

It became a running joke with me and my friend to say this whenever we felt lost in a conversation.

0points

Costa 2 months ago

Guy in London shopping district on phone with girlfriend/wife discussing he present just before Christmas... "No, no, I got you something great this year. No, no, you are going to love it. This one DEFINITELY deserves a**l."

2points

Captive 2 months ago

I was talking to a colleague in a big shared office and after a while wanted to see who else was listening. So I said "and this is why you should never go skiing naked". A woman behind a partition laughed loud

2points

Lucky Hemlock 2 months ago (edited)

I was at my friend's wedding, and his younger sister was sitting with us at the reception. I didn't hear what she said to him, but he turned to her, and in a soft voice, said, "You know, you could be a supermodel if you'd just stop picking your scabs." It took all my willpower not to bust up laughing.

2points

Vorpal 42 2 months ago

I did jury duty. During a break i had a technical support call in front of the other jurors. I said "Have you checked the phantoms?", "Kill the daemons and restart them", and stuff like that. The jurors were all perplexed at my side of the conversation. I hung up and one little old lady comes up to me and says: "It's Unix, isn't it?".

1point

Captain Newt 2 months ago

Overheard on the bus: "...the production of this animated movie was brutal. Disney even convinced Tchaikovsky himself to compose a suite for one of the segments..."

1point

BookFanatic 2 months ago

I had the pleasure of overhearing a small girl try to convince her grandpa that he needed a pair of mice (I was at a pet store). Grandpa asked why he needed mice. "You could wear them as earmuffs!"

1point

Robert E Smith 2 months ago

I used to work in a print shop. One day, one of the salesmen came down to chat with my boss. I heard them talking about golf courses, then I had the press running. I couldn't hear what they were saying until I turned the press off and heard the salesman say "I heard they were going to start letting JEWS in there." I busted out laughing and they looked at me like I was insane.

1point

Thee8thsense 2 months ago

Why is that funny?

-1point

General Stukov 2 months ago

We had a guy and girl come in to Gamestop and the guy smelled of p**s and alcohol. She kept trying to whisper "you know you get like this when you're drunk. And the dude, drunkest look I've seen to this day and says, "well if I'm drunk then you're sexy" they aren't a couple. They are brother and sister and this is south Carolina yall, not arkansas

1point

HI, I'M A SHOUTY MAN 2 months ago

"I'm sure it's fine, I mean m&m's don't have eyes or ears, do they?" "Or mouths" - a random conversation heard walking past the bubblers at school one lunch.

1point

Jill Waters 2 months ago

I was walking through a local market, past a jewellery stall when the owner says” you put them in the bottom hole and the wings go right up your ear”

0points

Panda McPandaface 2 months ago

That one was fun.

0points

Leslie Donsen 2 months ago

I was sitting in the ER late one night when paramedics came in with a woman on a stretcher. She was screaming at the top of her lungs. "Get the alien off me !!" I had to put my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

0points

Wally Mahar 2 months ago (edited)

My bestie friend Kim and I were walking around Central Park, singing like we were Ann-Margret and Neil Diamond. The pigeons were hopping around us, and we were having a grand time. Then, out of nowhere, a little girl dressed like an Addams Family version of Madeline came running up. She jumped really hard, scattering all the birds and yelled, ‘I hate parties!’ She continued jumping around, chasing every bird in sight. Wide-eyed, we looked at each other, stunned, and quietly turned to walk away. It took us a while before we started singing again. I’m thinking of making an AI movie short with all these quotes… but who knows if that’ll actually happen

0points

POST

Jeremy James 2 months ago

17points

Lee Banks 2 months ago

Some poor soul overhead a conversation between my person, and I. "Babe. Ben Shapiro. Just remember Ben Shapiro. Least sexy thing that ever happened."

7points

Mimi M 2 months ago (edited)

Positive, trivial, fun, meaningless = good!

10points

Chewie Baron 2 months ago

I was sat behind two elderly men on a bus once. They were talking about Jack Russells, and at one point, one man says “I don’t know why they do, but they do seem to have issues”

9points

Edward Finger Hands 2 months ago (edited)

6points

Donna Peluda 2 months ago

In a pub in UK, behind the bar 2 Spanish girls. I speak Spanish, she said in quite a loud voice, I told him, you can take me out to dinner, but you want pussy it's cash upfront.

6points

Richard Graham 2 months ago

6points

Stephanie Did It 2 months ago

In a Los Angeles restaurant: Two burly men were in the booth next to us, and one said to the other, "I'm going to the john. Don't break anything and don't hurt anybody."

6points

OneHappyPuppy 2 months ago

5points

CanadianDimes 2 months ago

My next door neighbour when I lived in New Jersey, to her teenage son: "Get in the car or I'm taking this sandwich and going to Newark!"

5points

Chocolate Chip 2 months ago

4points

James Anthony 2 months ago

4points

Cee Cee 2 months ago

Enjoyed this. Reminded me of a regular column in the Saturday Guardian (UK broadsheet) "All Ears". Miss that column.

4points

Pill Nathan Whitely 2 months ago

3points

Adam Benson 2 months ago (edited)

2points

Marnie 2 months ago

Not an "overheard" conversation, but the funniest thing I heard coming in in the middle of a discussion was on the radio. I turned it on, and a woman said, "No, no! You can GENTLY plow turtles."

2points

Marnie 2 months ago (edited)

It became a running joke with me and my friend to say this whenever we felt lost in a conversation.

0points

Costa 2 months ago

2points

Captive 2 months ago

2points

Lucky Hemlock 2 months ago (edited)

2points

Vorpal 42 2 months ago

1point

Captain Newt 2 months ago

Overheard on the bus: "...the production of this animated movie was brutal. Disney even convinced Tchaikovsky himself to compose a suite for one of the segments..."

1point

BookFanatic 2 months ago

I had the pleasure of overhearing a small girl try to convince her grandpa that he needed a pair of mice (I was at a pet store). Grandpa asked why he needed mice. "You could wear them as earmuffs!"

1point

Robert E Smith 2 months ago

1point

Thee8thsense 2 months ago

Why is that funny?

-1point