I overheard someone saying "tell the exorcist I'm on my way".

I turned back to take a pick to who said that . It was a younger lady (40's maybe) and an elder in her 80's, and they were sitting behind me on the subway. Then I face front again and hear in a sort of a whisper "mom it's not an exorcist it's a therapist." I couldn't hold my giggles.

anon , Charlotte May Report

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Sitting in an outdoor area of a cafe with some friends, and a couple of girls walk out of the cafe to where we were sitting.

One of the girls says “I’ll f**k the next guy that talks to me”. Friend of mine jumped up and said “hey how you doing?” (Ala Joey from Friends).. they’ve been married nearly 10 years.

Optimal-Talk3663 , cottonbro studio Report

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On the London tube, in 2019, a Dutch young lady sat next to me. She was clearly on a "walk of shame", and on the phone, describing, in some detail, last night's sexual endeavours. She was obviously assuming no one could understand what she was saying.

My family was standing close. By the time she was done recounting how she and her date had made love for eight(!) hours, I asked my oldest daughter, who was standing next to me, whether she wanted to sit. In Dutch 😁.

FlyLikeAHedgehog , Ketut Subiyanto Report

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Him "You're being such a b***h, go eat a snickers!"
Her "I'm alergic to peanuts, you a$$hole!"
Him "I know!!"

Bus stops in my old city almost always seemed to have crazy c**p going on.

Separate-Life4570 , RDNE Stock project Report

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In a fast food restaurant, teenage identical twin girls were working together and apparently arguing about something. One turns to the other and says "well you're ugly!".

dreadmon1 , cottonbro studio Report

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Bloke about sixty in Regents Park to a woman of roughly the same age: "Mum's gone lesbian and I don't know what to do."

Circa 1981.

ukhamlet , Анна Хазова Report

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2001, Washington DC, A young couple sitting behind me in a movie theater, waiting to see The Lord of the Rings.

Woman: Is this, like, a made up thing, or did it really happen?

Man: This is real.

HalfHeartedFanatic , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

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A stressed father and his little son in the morning commute rush. The dad yelled at his son for not walking fast enough, with his back turned to the escalator. The son said "but daaad, it's going the wrong way", upon which the dad answered "come on for f**k's sake, stop messing around". Then the dad, still with his back facing the escalator, took a step back on it and just like the boy had stated, the stairs went in the opposite direction- consequently causing the dad to faceplant on the ground in front of the escalator. The dad: "Ooooouch! ..... Daddy was wrong, kiddo....".

BellinaPhalange Report

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Overheard on the phone, "well I’m sure the cat had his reasons, what did the cat therapist say?"

ungo-stbr , Tranmautritam Report

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We were are a pizza place. Sitting at a table were a little girl, her mother, and her grandmother. Apparently, little girl was learning that "mommy and daddy have real names too" ... but she wasn't getting it.

So grandma asked "what does mommy call daddy?" And the girl just didn't understand. Then grandma asked "What does daddy call mommy?" And the girl's face lit up -- now she understands! And with a huge smile, she answered that daddy calls mommy "A*****e.".

hymie0 , Marko Tuokko Report

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Was at the store and this lady had a small boy who was looking at the candy. He was about 5-6 years old I guess. He wanted some candy, and she said “you will get some tomorrow”

To which he replied
“Bull****t”.

Infadel71 Report

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Was on a roadtrip, stopped at In-N-Out for lunch and after ordering I went to use the restroom. I was at the urinal when I heard two little boys (about 5 years old and 8 years old) and their grandpa talking. The older little kid said "I'm sure glad you came on this trip with us Grandpa." The grandpa said "yeah, I'm f*****g glad too", and the littler boy responded with "f**k yeah". I had to try not to laugh.

OpportunityGold4597 Report

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Whilst wandering around a castle ruin in Scotland, there was a group of youths (ages 10 to 15) walking up the steep, stone stairs from the basements. A chubby boy was lagging behind. When another boy chided him to keep up, chubby boy called out:

"I'M TRYING TO PRESERVE ME LEGS!".

ansonchappell Report

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At a big jam band show/hippie festival. "Bro, that wasn't unicorn meat... it was just turkey with glitter!"

abbie_yoyo , RDNE Stock project Report

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I stepped up to the bar to close a tab and was standing next to a couple who I assumed were on a first date. I was only there long enough to hear the guy say “I’m not saying I’d do it. Right? I’m not. I’m just saying that I understand - in the right circumstances, like if you were stuck on an island, for like years - why someone would f**k a sheep…”

If your date said that to you at Cesar’s Killer Margaritas around 2016, I’ve been dying to know how the rest of that conversation went.

LAX_to_MDW Report

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I'm cruising the fruits and veggies section at the grocery store, 2 female produce department employees are stocking the banananas. One, likely in training at the time, asks the other "Should the greener ones go at the back?" to which the other replies, "It doesn't matter, a banana's a banana, woman!" Right at that moment, a very large man on a motorized scooter with an oxygen tube in his nose comes around the corner and makes it apparent he only heard the last two words of the employees exchange by shouting "What the hell is a 'banana woman'!?"

I laughed out loud.

Darth_Ribbious , Maria Pinto Report

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I was in target passing the toy section and there was a mid 20s looking woman with her partner. They passed the the hex bugs and she said "oh I remember hex bugs! I used that as my first vibrator as a kid".

CptJaxxParrow , mac morrison Report

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I was in a bar and walked past a table of 30-something women, just as one of them slyly said, “I learned something about Chad’s balls last night.”

That was about four years ago and I still wonder what the deal is with Chad’s balls.

LocalAndi Report

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My coworker was on her phone during downtime. Became very upset and switched from one call to another.

"He died, mama. No- Mama, he had the dogs. They ate his face."

Froze the room. When she finally ended the call she turned to us and said "Never do fentanyl."

Symnestra Report

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Two nerds were sitting near me on the subway, and I heard one say to the other, "I don't care what anyone says -- *never* trust a ninja.".

wipeoutpop , cottonbro studio Report

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I’ve had some classes in psychology and worked in mental health. I live near the university in town and was standing in line at a grocery store when I overheard one young man say to the other, “I heard you have s*icidal tendencies”? I was absolutely mortified for 2.5 seconds until the other young man said, “Yeah, I just got their newest CD”.

moonkittiecat Report

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While standing in line for the bathroom in a restaurant.

“You don’t always have to poop when you pee, but you always have to pee when you poop.”

So wise.

duckface_killah Report

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Girl sitting in front of me during one of my night classes “ omg thanksgiving is on a Thursday AGAIN????”.

Advantage_Loud Report

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I was at an ice cream shop years ago, and a pair of English tourists were ahead of me, looking so cliche I could hardly stand it. He was skinny, hunched and balding, she was tall, broad shouldered, brash.

They got their cones, and the husband’s was a triple scoop in a waffle cone. His wife looked at it and, sounding like a Monty Python pepperpot (when they’re in drag), said “OOH! It’s a BIG one, Nigel!”

Swampwolf42 Report

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I saw these two guys arguing and one of them yells "Ij t vatt ca uallr" (neapolitan lol) that literally means "I'll beat you up with my ball sack".

Sana_Mustdiewoah Report

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I was at Chick Fil A breaking up with my ex fiancé, when a mom was dragging her kid out of the play area.

Kid: “how did you even see me go in there?!”

Mom: “I have eyes everywhere, baby”

Kid: “…even on your BUTT?!”.

Coco-Da_Bean Report

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Couple standing at the self-service till in the supermarket. The woman goes to get her purse out of her bag and complains to her boyfriend that the ‘zip on zip’ is broken. He looks puzzled and asks her what a zip on zip is. She stares at him in incomprehension and gestures at the zip on her bag and says ‘The zip on zip! What do you think I mean?’. Both he and most of the queue behind them look at the zip on the bag, trying to work out what it is that makes it a zip on zip. There is nothing special about it. It is just a zip. He stares at it for awhile and then, in the voice of one who knows he is probably about to be yelled at, asks he if she just means the zip. She throws her hands up in the air and storms off, leaving him to pay for the shopping. He turns to the queue with a confused look on his face, like he is questioning his sense of reality. We all give him sympathetic smiles that aim to communicate that we have no bloody clue what she was going on about either.

J8766557 Report

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Sitting in my car outside a Blockbuster, when Blockbusters were a thing.

Manager, to a dude: "There's no loitering here, sir."

Dude: "I'm not loitering, I'm just standing here."

Manager: "That's what loitering MEANS, dumb*ss."

HalfwaytotheHorizon Report

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"Hardest thing being a dom is the guys keep falling in love with you" between two girls talking, late night at a taco stand.

timebeing Report

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Bartending in the west village one night, two pretty stereotypical finance-type guys are sitting having drinks and one says to the other with the utmost sincerity, “man, i just want what monica and chandler have. *that’s* true love!”.

spit-casually , NBC Report

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"Every time I dream about fish I end up being pregnant."

IAmASolipsist , Andrea Piacquadio Report

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"She ain't goin to the club, I guarantee it. She don't drop it low for nobody but Jesus."

-some girl on the phone in the university library.

onlyexcellentchoices , Anna Shvets Report

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At the ren fair one year my friend and I overheard a woman with a stroller say "shut up or you're going in the dumpster."

Hide_the_Bodies , Kamaji Ogino Report

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"John Lennon was a talentless hack. Now Tupac, he could write a song." Two teenagers on a train, suburban Australia, early 2000s.

Kickedmetoe Report

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At a tattoo expo overheard a dude say " I'm gonna get a tattoo above one of my nips that says smile you're on camera".

Tmpeedle , Pavel Danilyuk Report

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While food running at a previous restaurant job I heard a 12yo say “and that’s when I called CPS”.

Relevant-League3125 , cottonbro studio Report

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A man standing at urinal stall yelling “cmoooooon P*NISSS”.

Son_Of_Groceries Report

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"She fit in the closet perfectly."

Nefarity , Ketut Subiyanto Report

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"Well it's different for you - you've got veins!"

On the bus.

naalbinding , SHVETS production Report

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“Being gay is a religion.”

Monokrohm2020 , Alexander Grey Report

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