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35 People Share The Most Bizarre Situations They’ve Witnessed That Felt Like They Were Scripted
Have you ever encountered a situation where you had to pinch yourself to make sure you’re not dreaming? It’s likely safe to assume that most of us have; from the most random events out on the street or cartoon-like happenings at home, some moments couldn’t have felt more absurdly surreal if they were scripted.
Members of the ‘Ask UK’ subreddit recently discussed such instances after the user ‘Confident_Leg2370’ asked them what was the funniest yet most surreal moment they’ve witnessed in their lives. Their answers covered everything from slipping on a banana peel to watching a person walk their pet pig on a leash, and so much more, so we put them on this list for you to enjoy. Scroll down to find more of their unbelievable stories and make sure to upvote your favorites.
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#1
Sat down on the tube and this bloke takes one look at me, whips out an HB and a sketchpad and starts scribbling away, glancing in my direction every few seconds. Whenever I look over he angles it away from me and avoids eye contact. Every time I look away again he's back on the sketchpad.
At Camden Town he stands up and gets off the train. By now I'm just staring at him. He steps onto the platform, turns around so that he's looking square into my eyes with this look of absolute seriousness. Just as the doors are about to close, without breaking eye contact, he raises the sketchpad. It's me, stark naked, under a palm tree, with an absolutely massive c**k.
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#2
Down in England for a friend's wedding, all the big hotels were super expensive so I booked into a b&b. From around dawn, I could hear a quiet voice outside cycling repeatedly through every swear word in the dictionary. I spent the next few hours in and out of sleep trying to make sense of it, when I got packed up and ready to leave I noticed an apiary. Inside was a parrot who looked me straight in the eye and said 'you f*****g bastard'. Mystery solved!
#3
Me and the Mrs just left the Guinness Factory in Dublin and then a baguette just fell out the sky, landed right in front of us… a baguette 🥖
#4
I saw a pelican scoop up a chihuahua in Australia and swallow it. The lead was handing out of it's mouth, whilst a little old , very Australian lady tried to beat it with her purse.
It was very surreal.
#5
I legit slipped on banana peel.
When my kid was around 1yo, we went to my parents house. My wife and mom were giving him banana. Peel was on table and he was waving his arms when he saw me and somehow he threw banana peel on ground from table. I didn't saw it. I was walking past the table to get into kitchen and slipped on the peel. I fell down exactly how it happens in cartoons.
#6
Was in Asda doing some shopping when some lad dressed as a clown zooms past riding one of them tiny little motorbikes, being chased by about 10 members of staff. He tries to go around a corner and down an aisle but because he’s absolutely caning it, he skids and crashes into a shelf. Then he gets up and runs out, leaving the bike behind. What was nearly as surreal was that most of the other shoppers didn’t even seem to notice or care what had happened, people were just stepping through the wreckage casually taking items off the shelf.
Another time I was on a pub crawl, about 7 or 8 pubs in we get to a really rough pub. Bloke comes in wearing a pirate hat with a parrot on his shoulder and orders a drink as the parrot repeatedly shouts ‘c**t’. Nobody says anything. Must be a regular because nobody even batted an eyelid. Bought my drink, went into the beer garden, spot my mates at a table and there’s a Shetland pony stood next to them.
#7
I think it was during lockdown, I was feeling rather glum about the whole thing, when suddenly some bloke on a bicycle with about 20 mirrors on it rode past my window with the theme tune from Airwolf cranking out of a speaker and I just died laughing.
He came past every day after that, then just as quickly as he appeared, when lockdown ended I never saw him again.
#8
Cycling along last week, I saw a vicar park his car, get out and trip over the kerb, falling flat onto his face into the grass verge. He didn't put his arms out, or even register that he was falling, just smoothly transition himself from vertical to horizontal in a perfect arc. It was hilarious.
#9
Said it before, will say it again.
3 wheeler driving in the middle of a forest, with no driver, playing the X-Files theme tune.
This was 25 years ago now, whoever you are, and however you did it, it was hilarious and I've not forgotten.
#10
Was sitting on a bus in Nth London stuck in traffic,looking out the window. Across the road I see a guy with a white cane making his way along the pavement, everyone giving him space. Coming the other way is another guy with a white cane . In slow motion I see exactly what's going to happen instinctively I shout "look out" (off course they can't hear me, I'm on a bus) everyone on the bus turns ton looks at me thinking im a loon, while I watch these two blind guys walk right into into each other. I still wonder how the following words between them went .
#11
Saw a traveller with no top on ride a horse with a rope around its neck down to a Greg's opposite a bus stop whilst I was waiting to go to work one morning. He tied the horse to a lamppost. Popped in to Greg's. Came put with bag of x4 sausage rolls. He ate one. Gave the other 3 to the horse and then jumped back on and rode off into the misty morning.
#12
During COVID lockdown in the UK, you were only allowed to go out for a short amount of exercise per day to try and curb the infection rates. That is, unless you had a pet that needed walking, in which case you were allowed more time out of your house.
This lead to some interesting interpretations of the word 'pet', and in my town there was a dude who used to walk a fully grown pig. With a collar and a lead.
Zedrapazia 1 year ago
To be fair, a pig can be a nice house pet and it does need walkies. However, regarding the lockdown the funniest pet I saw being walked was a ball python.
#13
I once saw a dude trying to carry a comically big piece of mdf into the church he was fixing up. I don't know why he thought he could carry it on his own. He was staggering about and trying not to fall over or drop the board. He finally managed to get through the gate and his trousers fell down. It was like a scene from a cheesy '70s sitcom or something.
_mentally_insane_(he/him) 1 year ago
What’s MDF? Moderate diarrhea flu? Missing dog flyers? Maybe dead fish? Must drink Fanta? Marty dated Fran? Married demon friend? Messily dark freedom? Melted dingo flavouring? Missile doesn’t fire? Medium dry filter? Mom deals fentanyl? My dead followers? Millions died filing? Many drowned flamingos? Mister Donoghue farted? Maybe don’t feel? MacBook dials fax? Melon definitely fed? Madly dreamy farmer? Mysteriously dumb fellow? Maximum density freights? Mean domino fair? Male dale fail? Mealy drake fairy? Modified Delaware fingers? Manitoba dowry farm? Mossy door fog? Mabel Dipper Ford? Mini diaper fear? Minivan duels F150? Market dilemma fixation? Mixed dna follicles? Millipede doom fox? Magic day fratboy ? Monday do Friday? Meow doorbell fücker? Mix dix fix? Mawkish domestic fun? Most dope frog? Manly double floor? Muddy dual face? Misty dollop fibreglass? Maw daw flaw? Murder delivery food? Macro doll feeler? Mixtape deadline flow? Miniature duck funeral? Merely demonic failures?
#14
My partner and I got a lil fluffy Pomeranian in lockdown, and she had an uncanny ability to find bread when we took her for a walk.
One week she’s finding a full slice of bread every time we take her out, she’s tiny so a slice of bread is massive compared to her body. And every time we have to yank it from her mouth and carry on.
On the last day of the week she’s found her slice of bread as usual, so we snatch it from her and turn back around, then turn to look at her a few seconds later and she has a tortilla in her mouth.
#15
We were in Wales at a fayre. There was this bloke wandering around with a parrot on his shoulder. A bloke walks up to him and said,
"Excuse me, can you tell me about your parrot?"
Parrot man just looked at him and said,
"What parrot?" And then walked off.
Us and the bloke just stared at each other, all making sure we'd just witnessed the same thing.
#16
Police stormed the barbershop and arrested my barber mid chop wtf.
We called it the police interception cut 🤣
#17
I came across a guy who was unconscious on the pavement at 2am. While I was poking him a man comes along with a bottle of wine in his hand. Looked like a young professional. He just asks in the calmest voice "Is he dead?". I said no, he said "that's a shame". I was like "do you know him?" and he said "no". So I asked him why he wanted him dead and he responded in the same calm voice "because it would be interesting".
Then he started saying "let's rob him". I was like wtf no and he insisted saying "there's no cameras", I'll split the money 50:50 with you. Honestly felt like I was in an episode of Peep Show.
The conclusion of the story is that he claimed it was the wine talking (didn't fully believe him but ok) but to his credit he did wait for an ambulance with me.
#18
Sitting outside a changing room in a department store, waiting for my wife to try on clothes, an old man sitting opposite me lip synced the whole of Whitney Houston’s “Greatest Love of All” to me whilst winking and smiling occasionally.
#19
In a similar vain, I can remember visiting a small, and rather dull village with my family. For whatever reason, I chose to sit outside a shop while the rest of my family went in. As I was sitting around I watched a Batmobile speed through this rural town followed by two police cars. I had a hard time convincing them it ever happened.
#20
Riding the Tube up to a Gig in the early 90s and saw a dishevelled looking bloke eating a Tin of Peaches by tipping them in his mouth, the Train lurches and his Glass Eye pops out and lands in the Tin, without a moment of hesitation he reaches in the Tin, fishes out the Eye and wipes it on his Coat then shoves it back in his Eye Socket.
#21
Four completely naked men ran past rather fast carrying a huge blow up banana between them the size of a canoe. Believe they were students but not sure what that was about.
#22
My Grandad was adamant when he died he didn't want a hearse, he had his own business and loved old trucks, fork lifts etc.
He was driven to the crem on the back of a pick up truck, people in the street couldn't believe (neither could I). One woman was staring so much while still walking she walked straight into a lamp post. We couldn't contain our laughter in the cars.
#23
A man fall down a few steps on the escalator on the tube, then proceed to stand back up and beat the escalator with his umbrella shouting A**E! A**E! A**E!
To this day my partner and I still say A**E A**E A**E if something goes wrong
#24
At the end of October 2000 there was torrential rain and floods. Driving slowly through Purley I saw a woman at a slightly lower level than the road pushing a buggy through floodwaters that were so deep the child in the buggy only just had his/her head and upper chest above the water. Neither seemed perturbed by this; they were just nonchalantly gliding along as if it was a summer stroll, creating a small wake in the water behind them.
#25
I love Americans, but they are some of the weirdest people in the world. My dad worked for an American company, so we used to go over to the US a lot for these 'corporate getaways.' One time, we were at a restaurant eating dinner, and a father and son just came and sat down with us. Just joined us at our table like we were best friends. The son was maybe six or eight. I was confused, so I said something like, 'Can I help you?' The dad then said, 'Yeah, my son wanted to sit with the Europeans for dinner!' It was so strange, but I wasn't even mad, because the dad had balls as big as melons to just brazenly join a random family for a meal to make his son happy.
#26
Not the craziest but It’s the middle of summer and I hear Christmas songs blasting outside, look out the window and see santas slay absolutely tearing it down the street with a massive stereo system in the back and about 4 guys just standing up in it with beers in hand singing and shouting .
#27
One summer at a music festival I was sitting with a group of friends, all laughing and having a good time. Rather animatedly my friend stands up to add emphasis to his story and gets hit on the head by a low flying toy drone. This knocks his stride for story telling off and as we all fall about laughing at the moment a dog does a wee on his trouser leg.
I still laugh to myself randomly when I remember that day. All too funny.
Rebelliousslug 1 year ago
It’s always fun when someone’s bad day is your really funny one, as long as they can laugh with you
#28
I worked in retail, many moons ago.
A man walked past my shop, placed his backpack down on the window ledge and threw up into it. Right into the bag. Zipped it up, put it back on his shoulder and walked off.
He did this three times that I saw, my colleagues saw him doing it a couple of times too.
#29
Late at night on the streets of Norwich there was some domestic argument happening with a drunk couple and a young police officer trying to calm the wife down, the husband was across the street with I presume his mates.
The husband suddenly screams and comes running across to the wife only for the tiny copper to spin round and put him on his a**e in two seconds flat by wrapping her arm around his head and spinning him to the ground, the wife decided to stick a cheeky boot in his stomach for good measure whilst shouting “you d******d”, the wife and the police officer (both women) keep talking while the crippled husband gets dragged off by her colleagues.
I was eating Donna meat with chips and witnessed the whole thing, hilarious what you see outside of the clubs late at night, can’t say I miss it much.
#30
Came across a totally naked man dancing cheerfully up the middle of a tiny residential street in a nice area at about 4pm one weekday afternoon. That was a bit strange!
As far as totally surreal goes, I once went to the local leisure centre, for a nice dip in the swimming pool. A woman I'd never seen before decided to stop next to me and tell me her boyfriend licked her shingles, and before I could decide if that was some kind of new euphemism, whipped half her swimming cozzy off and showed me the rash.
I was just like... WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. F**K???
#31
Many years ago I used to work night shifts at a data center in a town in Nottinghamshire, it faces a medium sized car park surrounded by houses.
It's Wednesday in August and about 4 ish in the morning and out of the office window I see loads of car lights come around the corner and a group of largish SUV type cars roll round I immediately think have I missed an appointment in the calendar as its not totally out of the ordinary to have customers come fit large amounts of kit at stupid hours.
However these 4 big cars pull into the car park opposite and some lads get out and pop the boots open and start hooking wires up between the cars. color me intrigued at the point so I sit and watch as it looks like they are connecting some AV kit together speakers and amps etc, this takes a couple minutes then boom!
Music starts there are disco lights I s**t you not and suddenly there is a mini rave with 20 ish people dancing away, all the surrounding house lights start coming on and curtains start twitching understandable as its a Wednesday at 4am, as suddenly as it starts it ends they switch everything off yank the cables and jump in and drive off.
I just sort of sat there for a bit and then went to make a strong as f**k coffee and splash cold water in my face to make sure I hadn't dreamt it.
#32
I once had a man come up to me looking all menacing with a small group of other menacing men behind him and say to me "Ya seen ma bird?" I had just arrived into the pub and had three pints in my hand. I replied "no, sorry" to which he pulled a dead bird out of his pocket and said "well ye have noo" and he and his mates were there pissing themselves laughing whilst I felt like a right twat thinking I was about to get my head kicked in.
Another time I was walking to work and a topless woman ran outside of (what I assume was her house) threw a man's shoe full of what I think was talcum powder at a passing work van and ran back in.
#33
Pre-covid, I worked in the busiest part of CBD. I went out for a coffee, and as I was waiting at the intersection, a man on rollerskates suddenly appears in front of a huge line of cars. He proceeds to gracefully attempt what looked like an ice skating routine, backwards, whilst holding up 4 lanes of traffic.
#34
A married couple joined a society I'm in, came along to a few events then vanished. A few months later they were back and the husband seemed to have this renewed interest in the club and hobby. I was completely oblivious to the whole situation so asked him "hey Adam, how's that project going?" Welp... it wasn't Adam. His wife had left Adam after a DV incident and started seeing his IDENTICAL TWIN BROTHER and brought him along to the club instead. No joke, it all got a bit Coronation Street.
Also there was the time I was driving into a housing estate and just over the rooves of the houses in front of me I saw a load of vans go wizzing past at high speed, backwards. Freight train going past on an embankment.
#35
Leeds festival, 2002, Sunday night, observing a line of riot police advance on two people off their tits wrestling each other in sumo costumes behind someone dressed as Chewbacce breakdancing as fireworks went off and portaloos took flame and exploded.
Weirdly beautiful.
Oh, and a b*****d on my uni course who thought he was proper ‘skater’ despite being a private school kid from Cheltenham, leaping up to try and grind on a hand rail to have his deck snap in half on connecting with the pole. Made me laugh for a long time.
What do you think ?
Binky Melnik 1 year ago
I once returned from a six-week trip to discover my beloved podiatrist had had a stroke and died. We usta swap naughty jokes. Was at his wake and spoke to his wife. Told her how I’d come back with a lotta jokes to tell him. She asked me to tell them to him. Um, what? She said it would make her happy because he’d loved me and my jokes so much, and would I please do it? So there I am, chrysanthemum in hand, telling dirty jokes to a corpse in a coffin. I kept looking at her, like “You really want me to keep going?” She’d nod, so I’d tell the story about the hooker. Just kept slogging through. It’s the weirdest thing I’ve done in my life, and I hope never to top it because my head might explode.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
I was riding home from work on my bike about a month ago and I saw a guy playing a piano in the middle of the street. A real full sized piano. Then again, It is Portland, OR so I've seen weirder, this was just the most recent.
SkyBlueandBlack 1 year ago
Yeah, you have a guy dressed as Darth Vader riding around on a unicycle playing flaming bagpipes. You don't get to call a pianist in the street weird!
Load More Replies... Wooly 1 year ago
Had a side gig as a paranormal pub tour leader - Had a group of people in from Florida who’d see the Portlandia show and wanted to come experience our quirky city….As we mad our way along the tour path, we had to stop and let ~ 8-10,000 naked bike riders pass … I asked if Portland was living up to their expectations and got resounding laughing nods all around ..!
Nice Beast Ludo 1 year ago
I always think how much it would hurt to ride a bike naked
Load More Replies...
Binky Melnik 1 year ago
I once returned from a six-week trip to discover my beloved podiatrist had had a stroke and died. We usta swap naughty jokes. Was at his wake and spoke to his wife. Told her how I’d come back with a lotta jokes to tell him. She asked me to tell them to him. Um, what? She said it would make her happy because he’d loved me and my jokes so much, and would I please do it? So there I am, chrysanthemum in hand, telling dirty jokes to a corpse in a coffin. I kept looking at her, like “You really want me to keep going?” She’d nod, so I’d tell the story about the hooker. Just kept slogging through. It’s the weirdest thing I’ve done in my life, and I hope never to top it because my head might explode.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
I was riding home from work on my bike about a month ago and I saw a guy playing a piano in the middle of the street. A real full sized piano. Then again, It is Portland, OR so I've seen weirder, this was just the most recent.
SkyBlueandBlack 1 year ago
Yeah, you have a guy dressed as Darth Vader riding around on a unicycle playing flaming bagpipes. You don't get to call a pianist in the street weird!
Load More Replies... Wooly 1 year ago
Had a side gig as a paranormal pub tour leader - Had a group of people in from Florida who’d see the Portlandia show and wanted to come experience our quirky city….As we mad our way along the tour path, we had to stop and let ~ 8-10,000 naked bike riders pass … I asked if Portland was living up to their expectations and got resounding laughing nods all around ..!
Nice Beast Ludo 1 year ago
I always think how much it would hurt to ride a bike naked
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