ubercanucksfan said:
"My personal favourite is a dog named Woofgang, which inspired me to name my cat Meowzart."

Gizholm replied:
"This has inspired me to name a dog Johann Sebastian Bark."

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"I always wanted to have an animal named peeve so I could say 'this is my pet peeve.'"

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FroggiJoy87 said:
"My husband use to work at a Humane Society vet office. He was up for adoption, not in for vet care, but once a rooster came in named Cluck Norris. (This was in Reno, Nevada.)"

VentKazemaru replied:
"Your husband is up for adoption?"

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FriedPorkchop said:
"I have some friends who have a cat named Greg from Accounting."

koinu-chan_love replied:
"They should get a second cat and name her Linda from HR."

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"My dog’s name is Bark Obama."

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DanimusRex said:
"My friend used to have a cat named Chicken Salad. He currently owns a cat named Grandma."

Standingisland replied:
"'Sorry I have to get off the phone. Grandma just pooped on the couch!'
'Grandma is always sneaking chicken scraps out of the trash can!'
'Grandma always flops on the floor when I get home so I can rub her belly.'"

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Calliope719 said:
"My uncle had a cat in the 70s named 'F*ck You', so when his cat got out, he could walk around the city yelling 'hey, f*ck you!'

Rumor has it that he had a drug problem."

striped_frog replied:
"Man, a cat with a drug problem must be tough to handle. No wonder he was always getting out."

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"Used to be a vet tech. There was a dog named Possum. Thought that was an odd name, until you walked up to the dog and it dropped to the ground and rolled over onto it's back. Most fitting name ever."

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"Vet tech here. Best one was a tiny little Chihuahua named 'Bone Crusher.' He was owned by an amateur body builder. Guy was like 6'4" and close to 300 lbs. Funny situation all in all."

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"My cat is named Single Lady but she's a f*cking diva so we sometimes call her Mariah Hairy."

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"NAV, but in high school my friend had an iguana named Mariguana."

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"Not a vet but my sister has a beta fish named Swim Shady."

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"I know a dog called Askit, so when people inquire about the dog's name, the owner says, 'Askit.'"

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"I met a cat named Maybelline at the vet which I thought was a great name because it comes with a built-in theme song. Like someone walks into the room and says, 'Who knocked over the vase?' And you sing, 'Maybe it's Maybelline.'"

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justGusCos said:
"Had a neighbor once who had two massive Rottweilers and allowed their young daughter to name them - Big Dog and Glitter."

silversatire replied:
"Lmfao some massive, tire-puncturing Rottie named Glitter. Amazing."

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"My friend named her black cat Edgar Allan Purrr. I'm proud to say it was my idea."

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"As a child my aunt had a tortoise called Galloping Dandruff. It was named by my grandfather.

One of the best pet names I've ever heard of was a Fjord Horse named Harrison Fjord."

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FinnSolomon said:
"Not a vet but my hamsters are named Alexander Hamsterton and Aaron Furr."

emjaybe replied:
"My daughter's hamster is named Scarlett JoHamster."

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"Worked at a day care, bulldog named Potato, was a favorite."

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"I have a rescue husky who was abandoned at a petrol station in Cyprus. We named him Diesel."

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"My friend named her cat Albus Purrrrrcival Wool-fric (he's SUPER fluffy) Brian Fluffledore. She calls him by his full name in all it's glory when he is naughty."

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"Wanker. A terrier mix who was actually pretty cool and not a wanker in any sense. Also a blind and deaf dog named Helen Smeller."

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"Not a vet, but my husband named a feral tabby cat we adopted Alt-Tab because he'd make us switch from whatever task we were working on when he wanted attention or food."

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yumyummers said:
"Not a Vet, but I do work with animals. We had a dog named Lunchbox. Still can’t get over that."

atget replied:
"Here in New York we let second graders name our new ferries and that’s how we got Lunchbox, McShiny, and the Friendship Express."

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Commenter said:
"I have a cat named Meatloaf."

hotsweatymanlove replied:
"Cat out of hell."

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"Okay, not a vet, but my bf and I were walking through campus one night. We hear vicious barking nearby, followed by a stern, male voice saying 'be quiet, Biscuit!'

Just the juxtaposition of the downright feral growling and the fact that the dogs name was Biscuit had us in stitches."

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Luna_Lilliputian said:
"I had a friend growing up who spent all of high school avoiding using her cat’s name in front of others. She’d been allowed to name her cat at the age of three, and as a teenager, was embarrassed to have a pet named 'Pretty Kitty.'"

fooduvluv replied:
"Someone once posted on Twitter that their mom took their pet tortoise to the vet and was too embarrassed to say its name was Voldetort so she told them it was Susan."

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"Dog in my service dog class was named Toast."

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"Had a Pomeranian mix named Stinkerbell. She loved to get in peoples faces and kiss. If you blew in her face when she was kissing you she would go crazy and kiss faster to the point you couldn't breath. I used to tell people if they didn't want her to kiss you just to blow in her face."

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"Not a vet, but my dads buddy rescued a cat from a crackhouse in his neighborhood. So his wife named the cat Crackpipe.

Whenever they took the cat to the vet, they would tell them its name was Crackel."

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"Crazy cat lady here. The best pet names I’ve heard are Speed Bump for a tortoise and Schrodinger for a cat. I’m stealing that one."

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"My cats name growing up was Edward Scissor Paws."

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"Leonardo DiCatio; Zombie Apocalypse. A friend of mine also had a rabbit called Floppy, and the family surname was Dick, so you can imagine how that looked in the diary."

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"DVM Student here. I've met:

A cat named Paperwork

A cat named Monkeyslap

A toy Schnauzer named Snackpack

And a Great Dane named 'Left Boot'...

His human was a 7 year old boy who yelled at me because I misread his name which was written 'L. Boot' Which I assumed was a kid trying to write 'El Boots'. I was like 'El Boots' is an adorable name, did you think of that?' He yelled at me and said, 'NO, HE'S JUST ONE BOOT. LEFT BOOT.'

Also, my Leopard Gecko's name is Fitzlizard Darcy..."

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"Not a veterinarian, but my mother had three gold fish named Rick, James, and B*tch. Also, my five year old named her cat Queen Hissyfit."

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"Not a vet, but my buddy has a cat named Lucipurr."

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"Tiny 3 month old baby kitten that barely meowed named... Khal Drogo."

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"Had a cat come in named Ghostface Killah once. He was all black with a white 'mask' on his face so it fit pretty well."

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"Not a vet but saw Lizard named Harry.

As in yer a Lizard Harry."

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"Grandpa is a vet, but these pets were in the family. 'Migraine' - yellow lab, 'Alfonzo Horatio Montego III' - I don't know what breed he was. He was about 70 lbs, 'Henry Jesus' - huge gray and spotted Shepard that was born an only child. 'Mecca' or 'Mecca Lecca High Mecca Hiney Ho' - Her butt had so much emotion. There's more but those are the ones off the top of my head."

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"My brother's cat was called Tiba. He didn't want a cat, it kind of moved in. He took it to the vet and, because it didn't have a name was marked "TBA" (To Be Announced)."

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"I have a job where I go into people’s houses all of the time. One day, I saw a photograph of a corgi mix on the fireplace mantle and I commented that it was a very cute dog. I asked what its name was.

Pot Roast.

So I said, “Oh. Well, he’s really cute!” The guy sets the coffee he was drinking down, turns to me in disgust and says, “She’s a GIRL!”

Tldr: I misgendered a man’s dog and he really took it to heart."

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"Our 3 yr old was given the responsibility of naming our Hedgehog.

He chose 'Chicken the Hedgefrog.'"

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"Not a vet, but if any of the ladies from our vet place were here, they'd probably tell the story of me bringing in my sister's cat to be spayed. And I had to look them in the eyes and tell them this tiny, buzzing calico girl was named 'Batman.'

As the lady behind the counter put it, 'We've had a couple other pets named Batman. None of them were girls, though.'

As to why her name was Batman, my sister, who was in her 30's at the time, just insisted repeatedly that 'Batman is a cool name for a girl.'"

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"I once had a pet emperor scorpion named Cuddles."

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"Not a vet but my neighbour had a dog called deefer (d for)... The dog's name was literally 'deefer dog' (d for dog.)"

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"I'm no Vet, but my wife and I adopted an adult cat who was originally named Sammy, but I wasn't satisfied with a pet that didn't have an 80s reference for a name so I tried for Mr. Roboto, I got vetoed on that so I went with Domo Hairy Gato instead.

Side note: I'm no longer married, but still have Domo aka The Domonater, Lord Bishop Grand Admiral Marshal of the Noms."

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whiskey__throwaway said:
"My husband's parents had two cats named Watson and Crick. Now they just have Crick, who is a marshmallow of a cat."

Aayin replied:
"Did they take credit for Rosalind's mousing techniques?"

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pippabeemine said:
"I work at a vets, we had to do a call back for advice on a cat named Ballbag."

torelma replied:
"Why do I feel like this story is set in Scotland."

pippabeemine replied:
"Nope, it would be Bawbag if it was Scotland."

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"My sister used to work at a doggy daycare, and there was a dog whose name was Dammit. 'Come inside, Dammit!'"

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"Am a tech. Once had a olive yellow lab named Dawg at some point. Last week we had this really small yet chuncky chihuahua named Walnut who couldn't keep her tongue in her mouth. There was a dog I was instructed to not even go near as he's extremely aggressive and needs to be calm for his groom. His name is Hayden so I'm expecting some giant GSD or something. No. It was a small all brown, ancient cocker spaniel."

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"Funniest name I ever heard of (Not a vet) was 'Serenity meow.'"

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"Worked at a daycare, my favorite was "diogi" (d-o-g)."

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"Not a vet, but work at a vet clinic (kennel worker). We had two dogs come in named 'Peanut Butter' (male) and 'Butter Cookie' (female). Both responded exclusively to 'Butter.'

Another time, we had a mean pom named 'Puppylove.'"

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"My parents rescued a Staffordshire terrier and a Pitbull mix. Staffie was named Bogart (Bogie for short) and my parents didn't change his name. My dad started calling him BigHead. Now he only responds to BigHead. His name is down as BigHead on vet and groomer records. People think my dad is being mean until they see this dog. He really does have a rather large head."

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"My nephew named his cat Farmer and his dog Pancake."

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"My friend got a kitten for her son and he named it Shoe."

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unusuallylost said:
"Vet tech here, we did a minor surgery on a cat named Bastard yesterday. Nowhere near the top but I can't remember the ridiculous ones off the top of my head."

MightBeAVampire replied:
"When I was a little kid I had a cat named BC. My mom told me that it was short for 'Baby Cat', named after me.

Years later I found out he was originally named 'Bastard Cat', by my dad."

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"IANAV but a saw a poster for a missing cat named Chairman Meow."

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"If I get a dog I’m going to call it Phydeaux."

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"Friend of mine has an outdoor cat who hangs out on the driveway.

Cat's name is Parkon."

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"A cow named Freaky Girl."

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"Two dachshunds named Jesus and Mary."

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"My aunt and uncle used to have a lovely white cat named Dumptruck. I miss Dumptruck."

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"We have a regular customer who has named their cat, 'cat' but in binary code."

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"Not a vet, but have friends with cat named Battlestation."

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"Not a vet but I work at a pet store. A regular names her dogs after house supplies. Her current dog is named Drano."

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"My dad's a vet. We've had a lot of cats named Hitler and Adolf and Auschwitz (from a Jewish couple), but the funniest has to be a class pet rabbit from a third grade teacher that the class named Milton Abernathy. I have NO idea why that was chosen, but it makes me giggle whenever I hear it. Runner up is a golden retriever named Chad."

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"I work at a doggie daycare. We have had a mini aussie named Crowbar, a cavalier named Chanel No. 5, and a schnoodle named Mr. Pickles. Also, one client with the last name Crowe got her dog from a shelter and kept the name they gave him, which is Jim."

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"My orange tabby is Bill 'F*cking' Murray. Yeah, he is a chill cat."

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"I met a one eyed dog named Fetty Pup."

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"NAV, but when I was growing up we had 20-30 cats at any given time. My brother was pretty abusive towards them (it was pretty traumatizing living the way we did, so please be forgiving ).

Anyhow, we had wood floors and my bro would pile kittens up in front of the wall, take another kitten and slide them into the kitten pile and call it 'cat bowling'. Most cats would run away after being used as a bowling ball, but this one would run back to my brother and wait to be used as a ball again.

I named him Stupid. Stupid was a sweet cat. He would endure anything for attention. He also drooled... a lot.

One time my brother put rubber bands around his legs because he thought it was funny to see him bounce around and walk funny. Brother got bored of the game, Stupid ran off. He chewed through his leg to get the rubber band off and we had to get the leg amputated.

After the amputation I became protective and Stupid became the only cat allowed in my room. One night I was petting Stupid and then stopped because I was drifting off to sleep. Stupid kept nudging me and I kept pushing him away. Then Stupid bit my nose and wouldn't let go.

I jumped up screaming trying to shake him off. He wouldn't budge so I was bloody and screaming with a three-legged drooling cat named Stupid hanging from my nose."

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