Kids. The sweetest kind of Stockholm Syndrome... 🤣😂

Good thinking.

i would love to be grandma, but i'm only 35 and no kids in sight

You had me at true crime podcasts

😂😂😂

And burping. And pooping.

this is genius!

Vicks doesn't get bad. it will survive us all :D

The dogs look scared and confused.

It's actually good xD

I did that too, or I'd make them really ugly. My Nintendo 3DS from when I was 7-8 has my family as Miis and a separate category of my family as their "mean" versions. Every time I was mad I'd make them uglier lol

and yet they still manage to rock the outfit

Own it. Sing with them.

Why don't they offer a trial?

this is sweet

It's like living near an airport. You learn to stop noticing engine noise.

The priest wishes he was a ninja

Try three. Still nothing works

... and figured out how to get rid of squirrels.

I had to explain to my mom that she could just hang up. I don’t deserve my mom 😭🥰🥰

Me when i make dinner.

"Shut up or I will end you biatch."

:0 What do you mean no playground?!

I don't get this one... Help!

Ever notice, how parenting books are always written by people, who either don't have kids, or who's kids are well behaved ? Where is the book on how to get your demon to stop doing a crab walk on the ceiling ? :D

Investor in his past life, maybe?

kinda like having a cat

And when there is no more room in hell, the devil will give you two screaming babies and a non-stop ticket to New Zealand. 😂

its the relearning algebra for me

if I pretend they don't exist they'll go away

Not all teens are like that 🙁

Don't forget to knock over a glass of milk for her to really get the full experience.

I know this is a joke, but clothing like that really exists. There are some companies that make adapatable clothing that's intentionally designed to be worn any direction. It's generally for adults and older kids who have disabilities that make getting clothing on the "right" direction really difficult.

A dollar bill IS adorable... and even more adorable than that is a HUNDRED dollar bill!

I hope you ask him for raise.

Definitely a HR moment

again?

HOW DARE YOU?!

Story time: I made a pan full of brownies. They were on the counter, still cooling and hadn’t been sliced into squares yet (important). One of my foster girlies asked if she could have one. I said yes. Later, I went into the kitchen to discover 3/4 of the pan of brownies gone. I looked at her and said, “I told you ONE brownie!” She gave me this incredulous look and responded, “Yeah. But you didn’t say how big it had to be.” Touché, kid. Touché.

Conversation between me and my 19 year old niece: "I love your sweater, I want one like it." "Thanks, I got it at Costco for $9!" *awkward silence "Costco!? You can buy clothes at Costco?"

A "Just around the block" walk with my dad was like a walk with the foreign legion in the Sahara Desert, that man could walk for days!! He was a Marine....

Stunt Double college maybe?

Where is Chewbacca when you need him?!

Karma?

Eh, it's reality. She'll have bigger dreams when she gets older. I had a ~14yo tell me (seriously) that her life dream was to work at Subway. It was extra hilarious because it was something she could conceivably do in a few months or a year if she still wanted to. She didn't. She's now 20, in college, and studying for a career that doesn't involve sandwiches.

So get a new clean one and do it.

wow... she's becoming emo so early on :'(

This one made me giggle.

My son called me Dude. My mom got mad when she heard it and told me to have him call me mom as dude was disrespectful but I told her my son tells me everything so if he wants to call me dude I'm good.

Future lawyer there

🧠🙏 (Thoughts and prayers. As required.)