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You’re lying in your warm, cozy bed. The curtains are drawn, the soft rain pelting against the windowsill luring you to sleep as though it were a lullaby. It’s been a long day and, as your head sinks ever-so-deeper into the pillow, you wish to forget all about it, letting the darkness consume you. But then, your eyes burst open, struggling to focus on the once familiar surroundings. 

A memory from fifteen years ago springs up from the depths of your subconscious, reminding you of a rude brat you once knew. ‘You’re so stupid, you’ve got cucumbers for brains!’ you hear him say. And now, only now, you’ve got a comeback good enough to ruin the life of this kid. “At least my mother loves me,” you think to yourself, sleep long forgotten. 

A great comeback is difficult to come up with on the spot, yet some people seem to be absolute masters of the craft. The Twitter page Gems Of Replies has been collecting and sharing the most savage replies that they’ve come across on the social media platform. It’s not the first time Bored Panda has featured this page, so make sure to check out our previous post here

Without further ado, let’s get into some quality roasts. 

More info: Twitter

The art of a good comeback should be a book. I know it’d be a bestseller in mere moments (if any of you crafty pandas decide to do this, lemme know and give me 5% for the idea, thanks!). In moments of stress and agitation, it’s so difficult to come up with anything mic-drop-worthy, the brain only returning to its full potential once the stress alleviates. 

Thankfully, the Twitter page Gems Of Replies has been collecting the best of the best comebacks to random posts and tweets, making their 196.7K followers chuckle or cover their mouths in shock. The founders of the page previously told Bored Panda that it all started very organically, in the hope that they’d be able to spread some good humor to the people of Twitter. 

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Twitter sometimes (especially nowadays) is seen as “a very serious medium and a social platform which is full of negativity and toxicity. So we thought why not feature content from Twitter only, which had captivated our attention and was memorable in nature,” they explained. They started screenshotting and cataloging their favorite replies, sharing them one by one. 

The page quickly gained traction on Twitter and beyond, with people loving the little gold nuggets of humor. “People enjoy reading a good reply—it holds their attention because of its spontaneous expression showcasing superior wit and excellent humor. Now, who wouldn’t enjoy that?” asked the creators of the page. 

The audience also sometimes gets involved in the content creation, sharing their favorite finds, but what the original creators appreciate most is the support that they receive from their fans. “With the love, support, and appreciation that we’ve received, it’s not difficult to manage the account,” they said. 

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A snide remark and an intentional insult may seem like unequal battles. Directed toward those with less power, an insult is not a sparring but a verbal mugging. And as explained by Edwin Battistella, when insults are back-handed remarks or micro-aggressions, they are sucker punches.

But we’re not anyone’s punching bag and there comes a time and place to end the rude rhetoric. Rhea Wessel argues that the key to coming up with a winning retort is to hone your listening skills so that you can respond at lightning speed. At the end of the day, timing is everything. You’re either destroying them in the moment, or you let them rule another day; it’s that simple. 

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40 Of The Most Savage Comebacks To Have Ever Graced Twitter, As Shared By This Account (New Posts)

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Pamela24
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9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not a Taylor Swift fan by any means. In fact - I have a problem with several things she does. But it makes me lol that there are grown men out there (who certainly think of themselves as not "emotional") who feel like they cannot no longer enjoy a sport spectacle because she's going to be there cheering her boyfriend.

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“Most of us don’t listen to the whole message, we are just waiting to make our own points. There is no magic bullet to getting better at listening besides practice,” said Abigail Paul, the artistic director at the Theatre Language Studio (TLS) in Frankfurt. “The goal is that we let go of our own ego and our own ideas because a huge part of listening is that you really have to be willing to be changed by what’s being said.”

Negative comments usually come from a place of insecurity, and though it may be tempting to respond in kind, there’s also the technique of killing them with kindness and positivity. Belina Raffy, a business improvisation consultant, recommends trying to reveal the “ridiculousness of the situation” without making the antagonist the bad guy. Rather turn them into the “victim” of the absurd circumstances, she says.

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Natalia Linnik
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I take it the first comment is from a man and she replies “so would you!” Pretty powerful comeback.

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But for those that want some inspiration, Parade has compiled a list of win-guaranteeing comebacks that one should keep in the back of their mind to always have a good burn at the ready. Here are some of my personal favorites: You’re the reason God created the middle finger. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons?

Let’s continue, this is fun! I will ignore you so hard, you will start doubting your existence. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. You’re not stupid, you just have bad luck when you’re thinking. What doesn’t kill you, disappoints me. Your butt must be pretty jealous of all the crap that comes out of your mouth. 

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Hope this made you smile, laugh, or take out your notebook and write some bits up for inspiration and future use! Don’t forget to keep upvoting your favorites as you scroll through, and leave your thoughts in the comments below. Do you have any good comebacks?

Let us know! For now, I bid you adieu! 

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Fuzzies
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It must have been so hard to deal with the pain of giving birth! Poor guy! /s

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Nathaniel
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The Royal Family has always been a bit of a sh!t show in so many ways, but Harry and Megan are plumbing new depths. The Royal Family will be on the Jerry Springer show next.

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Fuzzies
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pov: No one actually said this she just got a haircut and made up a story for clout

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Fuzzies
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean hey... at least he managed to change the last few letters /s

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BlackestDawn
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They might try but there is (currently) no way to prove that they would grow at the same proportional rate, so no way to prove which one would actually be bigger at that point.

Stephen Solomon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why did one have to be cut off? I wish we could all sue Israel for convincing American parents that male genital mutilation at birth is totally fine.

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JL
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm guessing the one that was more naturally in the proper position was kept. Genitalia is a lot like real estate. Location, location, location.

Green Tree
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or one wasn't hooked up properly? I remember a two penis guy doing an Ask Me Anything awhile back and he said one had less functionality.

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Mickie Shea
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can you imagine the awesome life that young man would have had.

Daniel Mattock
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would love to see this court case, with the judge, lawyers and jury trying to keep a straight face

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Powerful Katrinka
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, that tweet didn't age well. Being critical of Musk will get you banned. And accused of being a pedophile.

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Foxinamug
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love the 'supposedly posh' as if pickpocketers don't pick the posher streets because the payoff versus the risk is better (plus I've known some better off people to be much looser/carefree with money/possessions as the loss won't ruin them)

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Beto River
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1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

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Stardust she/her
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ireland cricket team tweeted in November (5 months after pride month) yet they still have the pride flag on their pfp. Go Cricket Ireland!

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Stardust she/her
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think that Kashmir wanted to be an independant state after it was decided that India and Pakistan should separate

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Judes
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The response doesn't make sense. If someone wanted to be an astronaut, why would they have to wait until 1962 to ask? Just because NASA hadn't yet sent someone into space, that doesn't mean everyone was totally ignorant of the space program and NASA's intention of sending people into space. I bet NASA received many letters from would-be astronauts from 1958 onwards.

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Kea_Tortilla
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't believe England has the audacity to claim the Koh-I-Noor diamond wasn't stolen all these years later, when the East India Company took it from a literal ten-year-old. The whole history of the British Empire is despicable; I was appalled to find out that it was only dissolved 25 years ago. How dare Stewart claim that it is India and Pakistan that should be ashamed?!

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Abby
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I got something nice to say abt the uk. the beatles , donovan, the who, the rolling stones, the kinks. need i say more?

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Poeha
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A guy on a forum wanted to give me 25.000 dollar. He was not a scammer, just a friendly guy. I had been venting that I had no cent just as a comment in some topic and I had helped him with some question he had. He really wanted to do that. Noooo! Don't just give money to everyone! I just spent too much this holiday and need to live cheap for a few months. Turned out he had given loads of money to girls with some sob story. They were just taking advantage of him.

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Sapna Sarfare
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Miss Sushma Swaraj. One of the finest politicians in India and one smart lady. One of the best foreign ministers India ever had. She was there for every one..

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Jaya
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't you hate it when the cassier doesn't put your change in your hand, but puts it inside your order?

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Tinu
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Uhmm not really the comeback he thinks this is, he ended up removing the feature anyways, it cost some billion dollar companies money.

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Nurichwersonst
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Whats about these indian posts? I don't understand them neither do I know these people like Mukesh Ambani... who is that? 😮‍💨

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Solid Pileo
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some of these posts will make no sense to a Western reader....they're too specific and directed toward an Indian audience....

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Premislaus de Colo
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Funny how BP authors think they can insert things hijacked from Indian site with no refference and think someone will go for this...

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