Politics at it's finest.

These two also invented Minecraft. Tesla: CRAFT. Edison: MINE.

LOL :)

For the first time, Neil is wrong

Yeah Terry what the hell

Idk what single-for-too-long person needs to hear this but that married man is not gonna leave their family for you.

This was funny! Lol

Unless the maid is male of course

Don't worry, kid, it's the strong silent ones that cause an exodus.

Nothing can satisfy Asian moms. NOTHING!

This is what nearly caused me to give up on my dream of becoming a doctor. But like I've realised how many pathways there are, I don't have to do all the hardest subjects and I don't have to do that one really competitive, difficult, maths-intensive course. So I'm working towards my goal pathway, which honestly, I will enjoy so much more anyways.

The benefit of being able to wake up. I'll take it

I hate those mieces to pieces! (Showing my age! Lol)

And the liver and diafragm start screaming.

they had to put that warning on because somebody in the previous generation tried it.

... and stop calling me "Bobby"!

I thought I knew how they worked before but this explanation has me questioning myself 😂

Just smash the thing whole, we can easily live on the juices and pieces we find in the rubble!

Vamoose ya vile vermin

Those are alligators though.

Perhaps the same person who looked at a cow and thought the same thing?

Private sector until risk of getting caught is too close, then transition into government.

Note: "Fück! Bees!" is an ejaculation, not an instruction.

What a prime joke!

As opposed to my donkey where grass goes in and just gas comes out. And the mule, grass goes in and sass comes out!

Even the emus won the Great Emu War of 1932. So, that makes them the good guys.

As the management gives discouraged workers pizza, my hair gets L'Oréal light blonde

"I hope you didn't make any plans for tomorrow "

That’s right, all meat coated skeletons are made of me

Well, in that case !!

I had a dentist named Dr. Payne

When I had the period talk with my daughter she burst into tears tells me she didn't want to bleed every month. None of us do kiddo,

Same

Explain this to me, but please be brief

Better head to confession 'cuz a pun that bad is a sin

No one knows how many people are creating original thoughts as many of those people are anonymous and not in any positions of influence. In fact I would state that most people in positions of power and influence got there not for their original thinking, but because of greed and ambition.

But it feels oh so fine to dry your smaller self off in those things. Try it and see!

In German it would be "basketties" (= Körbchen = small baskets).

But, if forced to choose, smoking would be the healthier choice, right?

yesterday, it took me three tries to remember my girlfriend's name, kept coming up with similar sounding ones. brain just don't be braining sometimes

How about a nice game of chess?

I need at least 8 Hobnobs. Does that count?

Or the fact that planet Earth was at the other side of the galaxy back then.

Pretty ironic that this meme was included, post-7/13/2024...

Let me suggest a compromise: the half-ball Earth. It is both curved and flat, so everyone wins.

Most animals do this.

Lmao, is that the "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction" bit??

This might be "whoosh", so don't shoot me. If you teach kids NOTHING about sex and procreation, it's not weird they don't know how they got pregnant.

incredibly rude, but damn, I am so stealing that