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People are not always as great and amazing as they might seem at first. At one point or another, we are bound to see the person's true colors and intent. More often than not, it's not that bad, and we learn to live with our differences. However, this online thread is not dedicated to those types of stories.
After this Redditor asked, "What's the fastest you've ever gone from caring about someone to straight up loathing them?" people swarmed to share their experiences, which range from sad to absolutely bonkers. So if you're missing some drama in your life, this is the article for you. And if you have your own stories to share, please do so in the comment section below.
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#1
Had a male bestie for more than 10 years... One night I was upset and crying cause I witnessed my friends die at the beach a few weeks earlier. He stays over to comfort me and suggests he sleep over so I wouldn't be alone.
He promised he wouldn't do anything. I believed him. So he held me while I cried myself to sleep. I wake up to him fingring me... Without my consent obviously
I lost my mind. And told him off and kicked him out my house... He came nack a few days later to apologise but I was so disgusted with him I told him to f**k off and never talk to me again. I blocked him... I felt so disgusted and betrayed...
RELATED:
#2
The first girl I ever dated died unexpectedly on my then current gf and my's 3 year anniversary. My then gf stated she was pissed because my ex had "Died on purpose that day because it was our anniversary". I was utterly disgusted and it completely changed how I viewed her all together. Things fell apart shortly after and we broke up
Pittsburgh rare 2 years ago
Suuuure the other girl was keeping track of their anniversaries to ruin it with....her dead. Some people are so self centered they even spin in circles. HOWEVER, l was in a relationship with someone whose exes always came first, and he'd drop any plans if one of them "needed" him. If your SO doesn't prioritise you over their exes, they're not the right match for you.
We asked Dr. Claudia Brumbaugh some questions about this topic, and she shared some amazing insights. We asked her if she thinks cutting people out of your life is a good thing: "When people are a negative influence on your life it might make sense for your own well-being to cut people out. For instance, Eisenkraft & Elfenbein (2010) identified 'negative affective presence' in some people. They found that certain other people accounted for 23% of the variance of one's own negative emotions.
And one's own trait affect accounted for 19% of the variance in one's own negative emotions, which means that others are just as responsible for your negative emotions as you are. This shows some people have a negative presence that affects one's own emotions in a negative way. If you keep these people in your life, they will have an ongoing negative impact on your emotional state."
#3
friend at a bar tells some people we just met how her mother died, later in the night i express my sympathy -- now she's without parents. she'd told me hush-hush a few years prior about how father had passed.
"wait did i tell you back then my dad died? i thought i told you it was my mum! no, both my parents are still alive; when we were in uni **i just read in a book telling people a parent has died is an good way to get sympathy, ha ha!**"
f*****g sociopath
Blaze Fitzwater 2 years ago
I hate this so much! Both of my parents really are dead. This girl is such a c*** nugget. 😤
#4
I kinda like you.
"Your autism is probably caused by vaccines"
Okay, I kinda liked you ten seconds ago.
Dan Bexell 2 years ago
People will apparently believe anything nowadays. I just found out that Humpty Didn't fall, he was pushed!
We also wondered why people pretend to be someone else in the first place: "Because everyone basically knows what is attractive. For hetero women that is easier to know since men have more consensus in what they are looking for in a female partner (e.g., femininity, curvaceousness, seductive qualities). Women are much more variable in what they are looking for.
Also, stereotypes are partially true. Evolutionary theory provides explanations and cross-cultural data showing that men care more about beauty and youth, and women care more about status and earning power. To 'pretend,' women could do something like wear makeup to look more flawless/youthful, and men could pretend by renting a luxury car for a day.
And finally, narcissists are charming and attractive on first impression. They're not really 'pretending' though, that's just how they come off at first. Later, upon getting to know them better, their arrogance and manipulative nature often damage the relationship beyond repair."
#5
One summer back in high school years, I had a crush on this girl and we'd hang out when we weren't working together. A friend of mine would keep insisting that I should just ask her out. So I mustered my courage and asked her out. Yeah - it was a glorious fail. I still remember when she smiled and told me the truth.
That was when I found out that they had been secretly dating for a year and thought it would be a "lark" to just f**k with me.
100 to 0 in a few words and a vicious smile.
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago
That guy ain't a friend, he's a scumbucket that needs to be dropped liked he's 100 degrees Celsius hot. Smh...
#6
When the guy I'd been *really* into got a little tipsy and confessed to me he'd had an affair with a married woman. Ok, he was young and it's not that uncommon when we're immature, overly emotional and idealistic and selfish.
It had been off and on for 20 years.
And possibly produced 2 children.
Who they just let her husband raise no matter whose they were because Guy I'd Been Seeing "just wouldn't be a good father".
I have never, before or since, experienced such a moment of instant shock, disgust, and loathing. I was just like "Hey, thanks for telling me you're trash early on. Saved me a lot of time", left him at the restaurant and took a Lyft home.
He called me for 2 days wanting to "explain".
There would be a possible explanation for a short fling when young and dumb. There is nothing that explains THAT.
Edit, since no one can do math. The affair started when this man was in his 20s. He and I were both in our 40s when we briefly dated. Some people on Reddit are above the age of 20.
Doctor Claudia Brumbaugh shared if there are any telltale signs to show someone's faking: "There are many ways to be 'fake,' so that's a tough question. People are pretty good at reading others' personalities though, even within a couple of minutes. Evolutionary theorists say we have a 'cheater detection mechanism.'"
#7
Uh, I have a two-for-one deal here:
Walking in on my now ex-boyfriend having sex with my ex-best friend in my own room on my birthday party.
Edit:
Since that's a lot of comments to reply to individually (I'm very sorry) , here are some FAQs answered:
It was my 19th birthday.
I did throw the bed out afterwards just because it reminded me of it daily.
When I walked in, I was shocked, told him that it's over, kicked both of them out into 2°C weather while they were still half-naked, and then did tequila shots with my other, non-a*****e friends.
I don't know what happened to them but I really don't care.
It took some time to trust people again but I'm much better now
#8
2 minutes, he pranked me by making me think he was gonna kill himself, then he got a friend to text me that he did and that I was my fault for not responding sooner. When I was having a full on panic attack and almost killing myself out of guilt he told me it was a prank and the two friends asked me if I wanted to have a threesome. (I have depression, suicidal thoughts and yes he knew that.)
And lastly, we wondered if it's easy to go from loving someone to absolutely hating them: "True love/attachment would be unlikely to turn to loathing quickly. Love develops over time and fosters commitment and pair-bonding. However, lust could turn to loathing since perhaps one didn't have enough time to really get to know who the person was during those early lustful days/weeks."
#9
As fast as it took for his wife to call me at work to tell me that he was not only married, but had three children including a newborn.
#10
My mother fought cancer for 5 years. My father let my sister and I do 95% of the work/caregiving and after her death expected us to step into her place and take care of him. The man I used to love and respect is gone and I can't stand to be around him anymore.
Carol Emory 2 years ago (edited)
My friends mother died from breast cancer. She said her father had taken every picture of her mother and destroyed it because seeing her face only brought pain. My friend managed to save one picture from destruction and hates her father for trying to wipe out her memories of her mother.
#11
I loved (still love) playing Pokémon and I had no female friends with the same interest. Found out about this group of guys that played it after school. Got really excited and made plans with them. I waited for hours and they never showed up... next day I overhear my best childhood friend laughing about how annoying I was and that they had to hide from me to play in peace. That really hurt
Mrs.Pugh 2 years ago
People can actually be really annoying. They can, it's like they were just born that way and you may not like them. But if someone you don't like asks to hang out with you, say no. Say no. If they ask, you can tell them what's up and it may hurt their feelings, but getting invited to something and no one else showing up and then being told it's because you're annoying, will hurt more. So just say no, be honest and don't be messy.
#12
My father abandoned me and my ill mother. He just, ran away.
I am a single child so I had to take care of her on my own. It was hard.
I loathed him, hated him. I no longer hate him, just fogot about him. Hating someone for too long takes a heavy toll. I am grateful to have had the chance to take care of my mother and help her get well.
#13
When my grandfather screamed at my mother that she had ruined his life by being born. Never spoke to him again after that.
#14
Ex and I dated off and on for 5 years. Birth control failed and I wound up pregnant. The minute I told him he completely changed - called me every name in the book. Threatened to beat the sh*t out of me so I would miscarry. After he ordered me to abort/adopt her out I said that I wanted to keep her but would leave his name off the birth certificate. He said "No, if you have her then I want her. I'll fight you for her and make your life miserable." And even though she's a teenager, he's still trying to get full custody and take her away.
#15
My husband adopted my son when he was 3 after being in his life since he was 1. Gave him his last name the whole nine yards. When we had a child of our own (who was a girl) and decided we were done having kids; His mother said to me it’s a-shame we aren’t having more kids, As she would have liked someone to carry on the family name.
I have only tolerated her at holidays ever since.
Well-Dressed Wolf 2 years ago
Hilarious because it’s not even the mother’s “family name”. SHE married into the family and took OP’s father’s last name herself. Secondly, there IS someone to carry on the family name — OP’s husband’s son. Oh, he’s not genetically the husband’s child? As an adopted person myself, that’s the vilest thing a grandparent could say.
#16
I worked for my step mom with the intent that I would take over the business when she retired in a few years. I took more than a 50% pay cut and left my career of 10 years of managing and leading organizations to come work for her.
Those few years came and went with her unable to even talk about a timeline for retirement. I spent years trying to fix processes and procedures around the office to make her life easier and to make the general workflow easier for all employees, but she was completely resistant to any change from the status quo while simultaneously always complaining about how busy she was and how we just didn’t have any good processes in place.
I finally confronted her about her retirement timeline and putting it in writing that I would be her succession plan. She balked at even putting together a plan for her retirement. I let her know that I really couldn’t hang around if there weren’t any prospects for advancement or pay increases.
My wife secured a job in a new town and I gave my step mom a six-month notice that we would be moving. I explained that I would be more than willing to help hire and train my replacement and finish formalizing all of the procedures I had developed in my time there.
She fired me the next business day.
F**k that b***h.
Paulo Freitas 2 years ago
NEVER EVER work with family, 1st cardinal rule, NEVER EVER date coworkers 2nd cardinal rule. Like my old manager use to say ( and he was right ), you don't s**t on the plate you eat.
#17
A co-worker was talking to me about the issues he was having with his 12 year old step-daughter. Another co-worker sitting by us asked; "have you tried raping her?". Thought he was an OK guy, but not after that line. The day he was fired was a good day.
Follow up:
He had only worked there about 2 months, didn't talk much, so that was a pretty messed up first comment to a private conversation. I think (or hope) he was trying to be funny. He was fired about 9 days later, no reason was given to the rest of the crew, boss just said "Greg has been let go".
Paulo Freitas 2 years ago
Yea......jocking about raping a woman, its not only not funny, its f*****g creepy as hell, jocking about raping a 12 year old os just sick, that dude hás serious mental isues.
#18
In a split-second.
My husband (at the time) and I were physically separated. I was pregnant with our second child. And *I* was under the impression we were working things out to ultimately get our family back together in the same household (that whole part is a long, long story).
Needless to say ... my ex-husband DID NOT come to the birth of our son. And his mother had to tell him when I went into labor and had the child. When he finally called me (hours upon hours later) he asked me what I named our son ... when he found out I did NOT name him a "junior" but instead gave him his OWN name that didn't have any relation to my ex-husband or his family ... well, he told me it was a 'gay-a*s Christian name for someone not even a Christian' then hung up on me and refused to answer for days.
On top of the total disrespect and display of selfish pouting...a family member finally disclosed to me after my son was born that he (my ex-husband) spent the entire year milking me for money to finance an affair that resulted in him; moving in with the chick, getting her name tattooed on his arm and using MY money to pay for groceries and other household essentials.
After all that ... I was done. I called him out on his affair which shocked him and resulted in him freaking out and stalking me for weeks to "find out who told me!!!??!" I filed for divorce while on maternity leave and cut his a*s all the way off. Of course he tried arguing that by NOT helping him I was hurting my kids 'cause, you know, according to him .. how was he supposed to help his kids if I didn't first help him (with money, his car payment, insurance, etc.)?!? UGH. Such a low-life bum!
And in one split second ...I despised everything he was, would be and had been ...I wish him ill-will and the truest form of karma. I don't 'feel sorry' for him and I have zero concern for his life.
#19
When i was younger I found out one of my childhood friends was stealing from me and the friendship group. Every so often we would 'lose' a phone or Ipod then said friend would have conveniently got the same model but beat it up a bit with his initials in tipex or something stupid. Being a good friend we didnt want to believe it but we started putting distinct markings on our items. Low and behold my phone goes missing and he turns up with the same one a few weeks later with the markings. We brought him up on it but he just lost his temper and stormed off. 15 years later hes in prison for armed robbery....
Edit: Obligatory 'that blew up/RIP inbox'
Beeps 2 years ago (edited)
I actually went to school with a girl in school who did that. The lost and found at our school had a window, so she would look through the window, pick an item she wanted and then go and describe the item “she had lost”. There was at least one occasion that I witnessed where someone recognised their item, so she quickly disappeared behind a locker and wrote her initials on it with a Sharpie pen. I told on her, and I think she stopped doing it after that, or maybe she just got better at hiding it, but the main reason I’m posting this here is: guess what she does for work now? She’s a police officer!
#20
When he found out my ex was black and was disgusted by that. Went from a nice guy who I could maybe see a future with to complete racist pos who I never wanted to see again.
Well-Dressed Wolf 2 years ago (edited)
I don’t even get this. Are racists SO hateful that they don’t even want to date someone who has (in the past) dated people of other races? Are they tainted?? Has “the brown” rubbed off on them and now it might GET ALL OVER the racist too if they date that person?! I’m white af, am adopted into a family of Mexicans, and have a Chinese significant other. I cannot comprehend hating another person for their skin color.
#21
I’m so late, but I have a story that isn’t if the cheating variety and made me lose any respect for three people at once.
Late high school years. A “friend” in our group had invited everyone to hang out at his parent’s house. We were supposed to agree on a time the day of, but people weren’t answering my calls or messages or were really vague. It was almost seven pm which was a couple of hours later than I’d figured so I decided to drive over. Sent one guy a message saying no one’s really answering so I’ll just go ring the “friend’s” doorbell.
So all of a sudden, the “friend” calls me and says he was caught up in something and the whole thing might be off, he’ll let me know. Thing is, he called me when I was just parking in front of his house, and had a clear view of almost everyone in my group in his house. I let the call go on for several minutes watching him motion people to be quiet, doing the talking hand “yadda yadda” gesture etc. without letting him know I was watching him, until the dude finally spotted my car. He then - very obviously - told everyone to hide because he thought I’d just pulled up, and one guy who also pretended to be my friend actually hit the ground together with his girlfriend to avoid being seen from the window.
So those three people - two “friends” and the gf of one - I have absolutely zero respect for. Also, I have nothing to do with any of them anymore, so that’s nice.
Then again I also very clearly saw one real friend tell the “friend” off. He also called me immediately and said to wait up, he’d rather hang out with me than those a******s. 20 years later we’re still very close and effectively formed a new group of friends. So big silver lining.
#22
My, at the time girlfriend, had a little sister. She was graduating from college, and her college was not close by. It was a few states away, and at least a 5hr drive. We both loved the sister, but we weren't going to make it to her graduation. We couldn't afford a hotel for the weekend, and we couldn't take off from work to get there on time.
She FREAKED out on us. It was the biggest tantrum I've seen an adult make. My GF and I both assumed it wasn't that big of a deal, but seeing how much her sister freaked out, we re-evaluated the situation. So, we packed up quickly, and drove through the night to get there. She told us we could sleep in her apartment that night, but that we'd need to get a hotel the following night. That was fine, we found something online for like $100/night.
We got to her place in record time. It was not even midnight. We felt like heroes for making up so quickly. We get to her apartment - and she won't let us in. She says she's already in bed, and we should have gotten there earlier if we wanted to take her up on her offer. So, we're both exhausted, and we have nowhere to stay. I wanted to just turn around and go back home, but my GF was a better person than me. Luckily we had other friends in the city, and one was nice enough to give us their couches for the night.
It's been like 15 years, and I assume the sister was getting one last lay with a college hook-up, because I could not imagine any other scenario where she couldn't simply walk down 2 flights of stairs to open the door for us.
I ended up marrying the GF, and still bring up this situation anytime she gets in a fight with her sister. It's usually 'I can't believe how selfish my sister is being.' and I go 'you can't!? remember that time we drove to her college gra...' and she cuts me off. of course she also remembers it.
Lilla Ontherun 2 years ago
My husband has a same "friend" who invited us to their home, but they told us after 4 hours of driving, they won't let us in so late (5-6 hours driving, we could not depart earlier because of work) . We slept in a parking lot in the car, because we didn't bring sleeping bags, because we thought we could sleep inside their house. I still hate them for this selfishness.
#23
There’s an older woman at work who seemed pretty ok. Then I overheard her talking about her toddler granddaughter, saying that she’s “a little hooker” and “shakes her booty at any man” and that sexualizing of a kid creeped me right out.
Edit: spelling
#24
When my best friend of 10 years slept with my boyfriend of 2 years. I was so crushed but to be honest was more angry with the friend. I truly did believe that I was deeply in love with the boyfriend but he was kind of a s**t head to begin with....I saw my friend as a sister and her betrayal left longer lasting impact and hurt way more. I hated her in a violent way for a very long time...fast forward 11 years and now I am to a point where I have forgiven her and wish her well but would never let her back into my life again.
#25
1990’s China. I (white teen) get invited to a girls birthday party out in the burbs. I get to the party and find out there is another white dude there. Wow. In those days that is like 1 in a million chance. We play the name game and find out not only are we from the same country and area, but in fact went to the same tiny elementary school together. After about 10 minutes of "wow, we have so much in common" he drops that he is mostly there to bang the girls and mostly tries to bang the married ones because they are less likely to want to want to stick around. F****r. Back then, getting caught having a n affair with a foreigner was instant family/social death and a likely mandatory 7 year sentence for "prostitution".
#26
1yr friendship with this girl. I invited her over to my new apartment. She came over and wanted to gossip about her coworkers. When she paused, I tried to add in to the conversation (make a joke, give reassurance, add a comment, etc) but she would immediately raise her voice and start talking over me. I kept getting angrier every time it happened until I was actually loathing her internally. She was so self absorbed that she didn't notice I went from smiling & engaged to frowning while staring off into space. After 2+ hours of not being allowed to talk, I made up an excuse to kick her out of the apartment and then vowed to never see her again.
#27
A former friend bailed on me when we were supposed to hang out and so I called my then girlfriend to see what she was doing and I could hear him talking to her parents in the background...
#28
Talking to my then gf about her cheating on me. Explaining I couldn't ever possibly trust her again, and she replied "But do you really need to trust me?"
Clearly had different ideas on what's required for a healthy relationship.
EDIT: For context. Relationship was 6 years long. We had been talking about marriage. We owned a dog together. This was the second instance of cheating. This conversation was what pushed me over the edge into the territory of self respect.
Broke up with her the next day. Much happier since.
#29
My ex girlfriend. We were childhood sweethearts. Dated from 17 to 25. Found out she was cheating on me with her boss, who was more than twice our age.
Then proceeded to find out there was many more occurrences and she was a very different person than the person I'd been dating. Shattered.
#30
When he straight up denied my existence in front of his friends.
What do you think ?
Well-Dressed Wolf 2 years ago (edited)
I have one! My best friend in childhood. We were BFFs for years. I was the first person he came out to, and I went to Pride events with him. I even tagged along on his first date because he was worried that something might happen (this was in the 90s, when gay people were often still publicly attacked.) I thought we’d be friends for our entire lives. Then I started dating a Chinese guy and my BFF says, “I can’t believe you’re dating a CHlNK.” Yep, that was it, a decade of soul-deep friendship axed with a single sentence that revealed that my BFF was a raging racist.
Zedrapazia 2 years ago
What an irony. Being a minority that gets attacked for who he is in public, then doing the exact same thing to someone else. One could think he'd learn from his own experiences that it's wrong to blame people for who and what they are.
Load More Replies...
DC 2 years ago (edited)
A girlfriend and I shared a few friends, male as well as female. One of said friends had PE with her in school, and after finishing, she took my gf's clothes and threw them out of the locker room's window, both her sports clothes and her usual clothes. Thing is, said girlfriend was incontinent and wearing a diaper constantly, which was broadly known anyway (in the nineties, a pad or a diaper that makes it through a schoolday without needing to be changed wasn't really hidable ... there had been accidents, so it wasn't hard to find out about it), everyone already knew - there was nothing new to expose, but it was meant to make her go around the school in just her underwear. Completely unprovoked, another friend went out to retrieve her stuff (I'd have, too, of course, but wasn't present at that time because we weren't classmates). Neither GF nor I would accept this, because - regardless of everybody knowing or not - this was just downright evil, an attempt to embarass her deeply and lasting. People making fun of her already was an issue, although she didn't take anybody's BS for that, it took a toll on her that it was a person she saw as a friend doing this to her. Well ... former friend, then, of course.
Bluetoyou 2 years ago
I had some girlfriends in 6th grade who I hung out with all the time until I found out they brought a package of dog candy kisses and shared them with friends just to laugh after they bit into them. I turned them in and didn't look back.
Load More Replies...
WonderWoman 2 years ago
One friend was in a physically abusive relationship and after telling us, another "friend" says that we attract what we want and all our actions cause others to react to it. She blamed the friend for being abused. D.O.N.E.
Well-Dressed Wolf 2 years ago (edited)
I have one! My best friend in childhood. We were BFFs for years. I was the first person he came out to, and I went to Pride events with him. I even tagged along on his first date because he was worried that something might happen (this was in the 90s, when gay people were often still publicly attacked.) I thought we’d be friends for our entire lives. Then I started dating a Chinese guy and my BFF says, “I can’t believe you’re dating a CHlNK.” Yep, that was it, a decade of soul-deep friendship axed with a single sentence that revealed that my BFF was a raging racist.
Zedrapazia 2 years ago
What an irony. Being a minority that gets attacked for who he is in public, then doing the exact same thing to someone else. One could think he'd learn from his own experiences that it's wrong to blame people for who and what they are.
Load More Replies... DC 2 years ago (edited)
A girlfriend and I shared a few friends, male as well as female. One of said friends had PE with her in school, and after finishing, she took my gf's clothes and threw them out of the locker room's window, both her sports clothes and her usual clothes. Thing is, said girlfriend was incontinent and wearing a diaper constantly, which was broadly known anyway (in the nineties, a pad or a diaper that makes it through a schoolday without needing to be changed wasn't really hidable ... there had been accidents, so it wasn't hard to find out about it), everyone already knew - there was nothing new to expose, but it was meant to make her go around the school in just her underwear. Completely unprovoked, another friend went out to retrieve her stuff (I'd have, too, of course, but wasn't present at that time because we weren't classmates). Neither GF nor I would accept this, because - regardless of everybody knowing or not - this was just downright evil, an attempt to embarass her deeply and lasting. People making fun of her already was an issue, although she didn't take anybody's BS for that, it took a toll on her that it was a person she saw as a friend doing this to her. Well ... former friend, then, of course.
Bluetoyou 2 years ago
I had some girlfriends in 6th grade who I hung out with all the time until I found out they brought a package of dog candy kisses and shared them with friends just to laugh after they bit into them. I turned them in and didn't look back.
Load More Replies... WonderWoman 2 years ago
One friend was in a physically abusive relationship and after telling us, another "friend" says that we attract what we want and all our actions cause others to react to it. She blamed the friend for being abused. D.O.N.E.
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