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4
Man Goes On The Best Date After Ditching Friends Who Wanted Him Back With His Ex
Not all friendships are bound to last forever. Sometimes, you must make a difficult yet necessary decision to sever ties with people you once happily considered comrades and confidantes.
It was a harsh, sobering realization that came to the author of today’s story. After learning about the manipulative tactics and ulterior motives of two people he was once close with, he immediately cut them off without hesitation. And he couldn’t have been any happier.
You will find the entire text below, along with some reader comments.
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Some friendships aren’t meant to last
Image credits: BGStock72/Envato (not the actual photo)
A man was being set up to date one of her mom’s friends, an idea that his friends disapproved of
Image credits: ChaffChampion
As it turned out, they were manipulating him into getting back with an ex-girlfriend
Image credits: Albertshakirov/Envato (not the actual photo)
He later decided to cut them off
The author has so far been happy with his decision, as he enjoys his new relationship
Image credits: ChaffChampion
Betrayal is a good enough reason to end a friendship
Image credits: Jeremy Perkins/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The author likely felt betrayed after learning about the manipulative tactics of the two people he thought were his good friends. With betrayal comes the dissolution of trust and a good enough reason to sever ties.
As clinical psychologist and speaker Dr. Ariana Brandolini points out, trust is the foundation of healthy friendships that are difficult to repair when broken.
Some experts may argue that “minor betrayals” like white lies or breaking small promises may be forgivable. According to Austin-based therapist Melody Li, the offending person may deserve a chance if they show genuine remorse.
However, a breach of trust caused by manipulation and deception is what Dr. Brandolini describes as a “gross betrayal.” In such cases, ending the friendship would be a healthy move.
“If they’re able to do this horrible thing to you in the first place, they probably don’t have your best interests in mind,” Dr. Brandolini wrote in an article for Forbes.
Ending a friendship should be done with respect and tact
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Animosity and hostility are two avoidable headaches you would want when ending a friendship. This is why experts urge doing so respectfully, regardless of the reason for the break-up.
Psychotherapist Kaytee Gillis, LCSW-BACS, has worked with relationship and trauma survivors. In her article Choosing Therapy, one of her top pieces of advice is to have a mature and sensible conversation with the individuals in question.
During that talk, Gillis advises going straight to the point.
“Sometimes being direct and forthcoming helps prevent avoidance or passive-aggressive behaviors and is often the fairest to the other person,” she wrote, adding that people can end friendships amicably.
There is also the gradual fade-out approach, which lets the friendship fizzle out by gradually limiting interactions. As mental health expert Arlin Cuncic, MA, explains in an article for Very Well Mind, it is like taking stitches out of a garment instead of tearing it apart.
As Cuncic points out, this strategy prevents anyone from feeling hurt. She deems it a more effective strategy for dealing with a toxic individual.
In his story, the author chose the direct approach. As he stated, there was “no big fun drama,” which worked out well for him.
Most commenters showed support for the man, as some shared similar stories
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What do you think ?
Tams21 8 months ago
I find it somewhat bizarre that anyone would have a problem with it. 8 years age difference isn't a big deal at all at that age and I don't get why her being his moms fiend would make the slightest difference. It's good that the mom and sister are being supportive but it's time to get new friends, I'd say.
Bartlet for world domination 8 months ago
Cue BP posting a pic of a woman at least ten years older than the one in the story. And married :)
Lady Eowyn 8 months ago
My mom was 7 years older than my dad, they were married for 68 years when he died.
MedusaWasBeautiful 8 months ago
People who have issues with age gap relationships really need to reevaluate their own problems.
TruthoftheHeart 8 months ago
His "Friends" we're too worried about keeping their girlfriends happy so they could continue to get there k**b wet rather than actually being friends and seeing their buddy happy
Mike F 8 months ago
This one has almost all of my (not) favorite buzzwords, the two top being "ick" and "creepy". I feel like if you can't communicate better than "ick" it's probably better to keep your mouth shut. The whole "creepy" thing is just ridiculous on it's face. What would satisfy the folks pronouncing judgement, a 5 minute age difference? From the beginning, it read like there is an ulterior motive at play and it finally came to the fore. A lot of folks put a great deal of stock in how a (even potential) romantic interest will be received by the friend group. That does a disservice to the person who is the potential partner. It's just not right to give so much power to the group who has never met the potential partner. Just don't mention anything until it's time for the introduction to the group.
kayteeisdabomb 8 months ago
I agree that it is an odd way to meet, but would probably be something to happen on a hallmark movie lol The only thing is, if you wanted to have kids. Her age could be a factor for that. GL
Scott Rackley 8 months ago
That's not a real age gap between 35-45, either way. If you enjoy each other's company and interest, head west young man.
Elio 7 months ago
Hope things work out with OP in his new relationship but even if it doesn't at least the fake friends and disapproving girlfriends are not in his life anymore. I think it is "ick" to make your friend feel bad about wanting to date a woman who he gets along with because you feel like playing Hallmark matchmaker with him and his ex.
Tams21 8 months ago
I find it somewhat bizarre that anyone would have a problem with it. 8 years age difference isn't a big deal at all at that age and I don't get why her being his moms fiend would make the slightest difference. It's good that the mom and sister are being supportive but it's time to get new friends, I'd say.
Bartlet for world domination 8 months ago
Cue BP posting a pic of a woman at least ten years older than the one in the story. And married :)
Lady Eowyn 8 months ago
My mom was 7 years older than my dad, they were married for 68 years when he died.
MedusaWasBeautiful 8 months ago
People who have issues with age gap relationships really need to reevaluate their own problems.
TruthoftheHeart 8 months ago
His "Friends" we're too worried about keeping their girlfriends happy so they could continue to get there k**b wet rather than actually being friends and seeing their buddy happy
Mike F 8 months ago
This one has almost all of my (not) favorite buzzwords, the two top being "ick" and "creepy". I feel like if you can't communicate better than "ick" it's probably better to keep your mouth shut. The whole "creepy" thing is just ridiculous on it's face. What would satisfy the folks pronouncing judgement, a 5 minute age difference? From the beginning, it read like there is an ulterior motive at play and it finally came to the fore. A lot of folks put a great deal of stock in how a (even potential) romantic interest will be received by the friend group. That does a disservice to the person who is the potential partner. It's just not right to give so much power to the group who has never met the potential partner. Just don't mention anything until it's time for the introduction to the group.
kayteeisdabomb 8 months ago
I agree that it is an odd way to meet, but would probably be something to happen on a hallmark movie lol The only thing is, if you wanted to have kids. Her age could be a factor for that. GL
Scott Rackley 8 months ago
That's not a real age gap between 35-45, either way. If you enjoy each other's company and interest, head west young man.
Elio 7 months ago
Hope things work out with OP in his new relationship but even if it doesn't at least the fake friends and disapproving girlfriends are not in his life anymore. I think it is "ick" to make your friend feel bad about wanting to date a woman who he gets along with because you feel like playing Hallmark matchmaker with him and his ex.
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