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“I’ve Heard She Plans To Sue Me For Her Vet Bills”: Guest Brings Her Dog To A Party Without Permission, Blames It On The Hostess When He Gets Seriously Sick
Interview With AuthorThough we love all types of animals, the reality is that the world is full of folks who exclusively love either cats or dogs. So if they’re a cat person, like redditor u/TheCornStarMum, they might ask their guests to leave their canine pals at home. Ignoring this request and bringing your dog to their party anyway can lead to a lot of friction.
The OP shared how her party took a turn for the dramatic after her (now ex) friend’s dog dug up her garden and ate something that made it ill. However, the redditor wasn’t all that upset. Scroll down for the full story, and to see how the internet reacted to what happened. Bored Panda reached out to the author of the viral post, redditor u/TheCornStarMum, who was kind enough to answer our questions. Read on to see what she told us.
RELATED:
Part of being a good guest means respecting your host’s boundaries, even when it comes to pets
Image credits: Yulia_Panova (not the actual photo)
A woman turned to the internet for their verdict after sharing how her friend’s dog fell sick at her garden party
Image credits: kegfire (not the actual photo)
She then shared some additional information about what happened next
Image credits: Pressmaster (not the actual photo)
The hostess later shared a very important update with her readers about her friend and her dog
Image credits: TheCornStarMum
“I think it’s best that we keep our distance from each other”
We were curious about what the author of the AITA story thought about the comments that the other redditors wrote. “With so many comments, I haven’t been able to read every single one, but I read a lot of them, most made me feel better about my choices, some just made me laugh,” u/TheCornStarMum told Bored Panda.
“Multiple of my friend group that came to the party have now seen it [the post], almost everyone is on my side, but some don’t like that I aired it so publicly, but obviously I didn’t think it would blow up as it had and didn’t expect them to see it,” she shared just how visible her post has become, both online and in real life.
The redditor explained that her ex-friend, Suzanne, “has always been difficult.” She is a friend by association, one of her closest friend’s friend. “I don’t know why she has such a hard time with my boundaries, but this isn’t the first time she’s caused problems in our friendship group by bringing her dog where it isn’t wanted,” u/TheCornStarMum told us.
Bored Panda wanted to know if there was any hope for the friendship in the future, and what would need to happen for things to be put right. “I think I’m done with Suzanne. If she’s at an event I’m at, I’ll be civil obviously, but her lack of respect really frustrates me,” u/TheCornStarMum opened up.
“If she genuinely apologized, it would help in some ways, but I think it’s best that we keep our distance from each other. I’d really like it if she offered to pay for the damages to my garden, but I’ve heard she plans to sue me for her vet bills, so I don’t see that happening, although if she does sue, I’ll obviously counter sue. I was tempted to sue regardless, but I decided last night that I’d only sue if she did it first. So we’ll see, I guess!”
The story made a massive splash in the AITA online community, and we wanted to get the OP’s take as to why the post became as popular as it did. In her opinion, the title may have had to do a lot with it going viral.
“I had a lot of people tell me it was misleading, which in hindsight I guess it sort of is, but I was using my ex-friend’s words,” she said that if she were to post the story again, she would probably use quotation marks.
“Other than that, I don’t really know why it [the story] exploded. I guess it had a good balance between people thinking I was the AH to people thinking I wasn’t, to cause debate.”
Image credits: Samson Katt (not the actual photo)
All dog owners have to be aware of what foods make them ill
It’s essential that owners keep a watchful eye on their pooches’ diets. There are a lot of food items that are toxic to dogs. According to the PDSA, some unsafe fruits and vegetables include avocado, cherries, corn on the cob, garlic, grapes and raisins, grapefruit, leeks, lemon and lime, mushrooms, onion, plums, raw potatoes, rhubarb, and unripe tomato. Potato and tomato plants are also to be avoided!
Meanwhile, among the vegetables that dogs can safely eat, you’ll find broccoli, brussel sprouts, carrots, celery, green beans, peas, boiled or steamed potatoes, and sweetcorn (off the cob!).
The PDSA notes that safe-to-eat fruit includes apples and pears that have been de-seeded and cored, bananas and strawberries in small amounts (they’re full of sugar!), blueberries, cranberries, mango and nectarine and peach (without the pit and skin), oranges without the skin and seeds, and watermelon once you remove the rind and seeds.
Image credits: Rarnie McCudden (not the actual photo)
True friends care about each other’s boundaries, no matter the situation
To put it bluntly, a real friend is someone who cares about you enough to respect your boundaries. As we’ve covered on Bored Panda previously, true friendship is built on trust and mutual respect.
These relationships can’t be one-sided: they require both sides to give, not just take. If there’s a lack of balance and you feel like you’re constantly being used for favors or walked over, odds are that you might be dealing with a fair-weather pal.
Some other signs that someone’s a fake friend include them talking about you behind your back (nobody likes two-faced people!), a lack of support when you truly need it most, and an unwillingness to celebrate your successes. A massive tendency to gossip and jealousy are red flags.
Meanwhile, true friends will be with you through the ups and downs of your life, and will keep your secrets when you ask them to. A general rule of thumb is that you can feel completely vulnerable and authentic around them. And if you feel like you have to constantly watch what you say around someone, the odds are that the relationship is very superficial.
Image credits: William Fortunato (not the actual photo)
The entire situation escalated beyond anyone’s expectations
The conflict escalated after redditor u/TheCornStarMum’s friend demanded that she explain what plants her dog had dug up and eaten. The OP explained that she’s unsure because her gardener takes care of the crops. She eventually passed on all the information the gardener had to the pet parent. The dog is at the hospital but is expected to make a full recovery. Meanwhile, the OP ended up blocking her (ex) friend after she bombarded her with “nasty calls and texts.”
The redditor’s story went viral on the AITA online community. At the time of writing, her post had gotten over 20.1k upvotes. The general consensus was that the OP had done everything in her power to ensure that the dog wasn’t at her party. She had made it clear that pets weren’t welcome at the social gathering. And she had even asked her friend to take her dog back home. Healthy boundaries were set and outright ignored.
As some redditors pointed out, her friend wasn’t even watching the dog. Others noted that the dog has an irresponsible owner. The overall mood was that u/TheCornStarMum did nothing wrong. And even though people were sad that the dog got ill, it shouldn’t have been at the event in the first place.
The woman engaged the other members of the AITA community in the comments
Most people were on the author’s side. Here’s what some of them had to say
What do you think ?
Barbara Kayton 2 years ago
She can call the dog an emotional support dog, but it is clearly not. Everyone I’ve met who uses an emotional support dog keeps it leashed and well-behaved, and it wears an emotional support dog vest. To officially be called an ESA, the animal must be prescribed by a doctor or mental health profession, and must be well-trained, and must receive permission to be in a no-pet area (eg, planes, etc).
Lsai Aeon 2 years ago
Not in the US. ESAs do NOT have public access rights and are NOT covered under the ADA. I'm assuming you aren't in the US.
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whineygingercat 2 years ago
I have four indoor cats. They are my fur babies. I love my fur babies with all my heart. I also love Stargazer Lilies. The few times I've had live bouquets, I put them in my office. The kitties aren't allowed in there, and the door is kept closed. Also, I thoroughly wash my hands and arms after handling lilies. As for your ex friend and the dog, the dog does deserve a better human. Be aware that thoughtless human may try to get you to pay the vet bills for HER carelessness.
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
I'd be too scared to even have lilies in a room my cats aren't allowed into XD Not quite the same, but I've had friends who had cats who weren't spayed or weren't vaccinated because they were indoor cats and they'd "never get out"... well, one friend's brother left a window open and her cat pushed out the screen, escaped, and got sick because he wasn't vaccinated. The other friend had some friends come over, and her cat slipped out the front door, and got pregnant because she'd never gotten her cat spayed. My cats are indoors-only, but they still wear collars and are chipped, vaxxed, and fixed. In the same vein, I'd be too scared to risk lilies even in a closed room XD
Load More Replies...
Markus He/It/E/Cloud/Ti 2 years ago
Regardless of invitation, what *idiot* pays 0 attention to their pet on someone else's property?? The risks are massive. There may be a back gate not properly secured that leads onto a road. The dog may, as it did, eat something that can harm it. It is not your host's responsibility to keep an eye on *your* pet, especially uninvited
Crafty Parrott 2 years ago
Come to my party but NO Dogs, then you bring dog. I ask you to leave immediately but you not only stay but don't keep control of your dog and he does damage (something I was trying to avoid) but then he gets sick and you constantly ask what he ate. THAT WAS YOUR JOB TO KNOW not the host. I bet she wants you to pay the vet bill even though it was 100% their fault and if you give them a bill for the damages they get mad.
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
I like to bring my puppy to dog-friendly places when I can, but even if I do, he is ALWAYS harnessed/leashed. I can't believe the bloody cheek of OP's friend, bringing her dog in the first place and then letting it run around unleashed!
Load More Replies...
Bina Wei 2 years ago
I don't even have a pet currently bc I know I'm not in a state to look after it.. heck, when I was almost homeless almost a decade ago I found my last pets a home before me. i understand some people are attached to pets but they're a responsibility.. they're a living thing just like us and deserve care, love and discipline (which means correction and watching over, not abuse).
Mallory Morrison 2 years ago
Ugh. We hosted Mother's Day this past Sunday and do not allow dogs in our house (I have two 16+ year OLD cats that don't like dogs). My aunt is well aware of this policy but brought her dog anyway. So she sat outside with her dog, and it was CHILLY out (high 50s F). So anyone that wanted to converse with my aunt had to sit in the yard and be cold because she couldn't leave the d**n dog home for 4 or 5 hours. Dog people! Stop being like this! (I know you are not all like this)
Lsai Aeon 2 years ago
She can call the dog whatever she wants. It's clearly not a service dog and faking a service dog is a federal crime. ESAs do NOT have public access rights. The only thing an ESA does is take away pet fees and allow you to have the animal in an apartment that does not allow pets. There is NO certification or registration in the US and ESAs are NOT covered under the ADA. https://adata.org/guide/service-animals-and-emotional-support-animals
Scrolling Panda 2 years ago
Taking the opportunity to piggy back on a post that has blown up to do a little educating. Service dogs do not need to have a vest, have papers, or be registered. People should not ask what another person's disability is. When determining whether an animal is a service animal, ask these questions. "Is this a service animal?" "What tasks is it trained to perform?" A person with a service animal will always be able to clearly answer this question, (unless they are in the middle of an episode/attack/medical emergency of course.) Never ask for papers/paperwork/certificate for an animal. A person with a disability is allowed to train their own service animal. Emotional support animals are not considered service animals and do not have as many legal rights and protections. And lastly, referencing the article above, the animal OP was dealing with was absolutely NOT a service animal, nor was it being handled like an emotional support animal. The owner is a selfish, immature, entitled A$$.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
This is where I think there is a flaw in the system. We use disabled placards in cars for a good reason. It's a simple, obvious indicator that the driver or passenger has a legal right to use disabled parking spaces. The same logic should be used with service animals, there should be an officially recognised label/license for them. And it should be legal to ask to produce it upon (reasonable) demand. Serves two purposes, one it protects the people with legitimate service animals from harassment and two it stops the asshats who claim their pet is a service animal when it's not.
Load More Replies...
Somebodys grandmother 2 years ago (edited)
*SOME dogowners take their dog everywhere... We are not one group without brain. We allways ask. And a No is a No and a yes meens WE have responsabilities... Rignt now he stays home and safe. 15, dementia etc. He has is best at home...
amy hipps 2 years ago
No not all dog owners ask. Most i have met or have heard of believe that thier is no such thing as someone being scared or allergic to a dog and will bring them anyways.
Load More Replies... Barbara Kayton 2 years ago
She can call the dog an emotional support dog, but it is clearly not. Everyone I’ve met who uses an emotional support dog keeps it leashed and well-behaved, and it wears an emotional support dog vest. To officially be called an ESA, the animal must be prescribed by a doctor or mental health profession, and must be well-trained, and must receive permission to be in a no-pet area (eg, planes, etc).
Lsai Aeon 2 years ago
Not in the US. ESAs do NOT have public access rights and are NOT covered under the ADA. I'm assuming you aren't in the US.
Load More Replies... whineygingercat 2 years ago
I have four indoor cats. They are my fur babies. I love my fur babies with all my heart. I also love Stargazer Lilies. The few times I've had live bouquets, I put them in my office. The kitties aren't allowed in there, and the door is kept closed. Also, I thoroughly wash my hands and arms after handling lilies. As for your ex friend and the dog, the dog does deserve a better human. Be aware that thoughtless human may try to get you to pay the vet bills for HER carelessness.
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
I'd be too scared to even have lilies in a room my cats aren't allowed into XD Not quite the same, but I've had friends who had cats who weren't spayed or weren't vaccinated because they were indoor cats and they'd "never get out"... well, one friend's brother left a window open and her cat pushed out the screen, escaped, and got sick because he wasn't vaccinated. The other friend had some friends come over, and her cat slipped out the front door, and got pregnant because she'd never gotten her cat spayed. My cats are indoors-only, but they still wear collars and are chipped, vaxxed, and fixed. In the same vein, I'd be too scared to risk lilies even in a closed room XD
Load More Replies... Markus He/It/E/Cloud/Ti 2 years ago
Regardless of invitation, what *idiot* pays 0 attention to their pet on someone else's property?? The risks are massive. There may be a back gate not properly secured that leads onto a road. The dog may, as it did, eat something that can harm it. It is not your host's responsibility to keep an eye on *your* pet, especially uninvited
Crafty Parrott 2 years ago
Come to my party but NO Dogs, then you bring dog. I ask you to leave immediately but you not only stay but don't keep control of your dog and he does damage (something I was trying to avoid) but then he gets sick and you constantly ask what he ate. THAT WAS YOUR JOB TO KNOW not the host. I bet she wants you to pay the vet bill even though it was 100% their fault and if you give them a bill for the damages they get mad.
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
I like to bring my puppy to dog-friendly places when I can, but even if I do, he is ALWAYS harnessed/leashed. I can't believe the bloody cheek of OP's friend, bringing her dog in the first place and then letting it run around unleashed!
Load More Replies... Bina Wei 2 years ago
I don't even have a pet currently bc I know I'm not in a state to look after it.. heck, when I was almost homeless almost a decade ago I found my last pets a home before me. i understand some people are attached to pets but they're a responsibility.. they're a living thing just like us and deserve care, love and discipline (which means correction and watching over, not abuse).
Mallory Morrison 2 years ago
Ugh. We hosted Mother's Day this past Sunday and do not allow dogs in our house (I have two 16+ year OLD cats that don't like dogs). My aunt is well aware of this policy but brought her dog anyway. So she sat outside with her dog, and it was CHILLY out (high 50s F). So anyone that wanted to converse with my aunt had to sit in the yard and be cold because she couldn't leave the d**n dog home for 4 or 5 hours. Dog people! Stop being like this! (I know you are not all like this)
Lsai Aeon 2 years ago
She can call the dog whatever she wants. It's clearly not a service dog and faking a service dog is a federal crime. ESAs do NOT have public access rights. The only thing an ESA does is take away pet fees and allow you to have the animal in an apartment that does not allow pets. There is NO certification or registration in the US and ESAs are NOT covered under the ADA. https://adata.org/guide/service-animals-and-emotional-support-animals
Scrolling Panda 2 years ago
Taking the opportunity to piggy back on a post that has blown up to do a little educating. Service dogs do not need to have a vest, have papers, or be registered. People should not ask what another person's disability is. When determining whether an animal is a service animal, ask these questions. "Is this a service animal?" "What tasks is it trained to perform?" A person with a service animal will always be able to clearly answer this question, (unless they are in the middle of an episode/attack/medical emergency of course.) Never ask for papers/paperwork/certificate for an animal. A person with a disability is allowed to train their own service animal. Emotional support animals are not considered service animals and do not have as many legal rights and protections. And lastly, referencing the article above, the animal OP was dealing with was absolutely NOT a service animal, nor was it being handled like an emotional support animal. The owner is a selfish, immature, entitled A$$.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
This is where I think there is a flaw in the system. We use disabled placards in cars for a good reason. It's a simple, obvious indicator that the driver or passenger has a legal right to use disabled parking spaces. The same logic should be used with service animals, there should be an officially recognised label/license for them. And it should be legal to ask to produce it upon (reasonable) demand. Serves two purposes, one it protects the people with legitimate service animals from harassment and two it stops the asshats who claim their pet is a service animal when it's not.
Load More Replies... Somebodys grandmother 2 years ago (edited)
*SOME dogowners take their dog everywhere... We are not one group without brain. We allways ask. And a No is a No and a yes meens WE have responsabilities... Rignt now he stays home and safe. 15, dementia etc. He has is best at home...
amy hipps 2 years ago
No not all dog owners ask. Most i have met or have heard of believe that thier is no such thing as someone being scared or allergic to a dog and will bring them anyways.
Load More Replies...
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