Do you know that feeling when you make plans in a good mood and then you actually have to go through with them? Many of us have probably found ourselves in this situation. Sometimes, life happens, or you just don’t want to go, so you cancel. However, how you do this is very important, as it can greatly impact relationships or even ensure you never make plans with that person again. 

This couple might not have done the best with their cancellation, as they did it 30 minutes before the meeting, disappearing without a proper explanation. Of course, the friends they bailed on were annoyed, asking netizens if it was an okay thing to do.

Canceling plans is generally considered impolite, especially when it’s done at the last minute

Image credits: Pressmaster / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)

This couple did it 30 minutes before the meeting, which made their friends very annoyed

Image credits: Zinkevych_D / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Monicageller221

“It’s rude to cancel. Period”

Generally, no one enjoys getting canceled on, especially at the last minute. “Once a commitment is made, unless you have a legitimate excuse, it’s rude to cancel. Period,” says etiquette expert and founder of the Golden Rules Gal, Lisa Grotts.

Valid reasons for abandoning an arranged meeting include illness, death, travel delays, and all the other things out of anyone’s control. Other excuses that could also be acceptable are getting stuck longer at work, having a health issue, or not finding childcare in time. However, being too tired because you had a long day is not a reasonable reason to call off plans, says Jan Goss, founder of Show Up Well.

“If you are normally someone who follows through, then people will understand and forgive the occasional cancellation. But if this is something that happens often, then it doesn’t matter how ‘legitimate’ your excuse is—people will see you negatively,” she additionally notes. By canceling plans too many times, the person also risks finding themselves with fewer friends or invitations to gatherings, occasions, or events, as called-off arrangements are one of the things people dislike that can harm relationships. 

For casual gatherings with friends, experts advise informing them about the cancellation at least 24 hours before the get-together. If a person is doing it within hours or minutes of the meeting, it’s too late. The general consensus is to do it at the earliest notice. “The short answer will always be do it ‘as soon as possible,” Goss says. “It’s human nature to want to put off having a difficult conversation, but the longer you wait to let the other person know, the more rude it becomes and the more inconvenienced and upset they will be.”

When canceling plans, try to stay honest and offer an apology

It’s very important to know how to cancel plans respectfully, as it can take a toll on relationships, especially if it’s done frequently. The moment a person finds out they can’t attend, they have to reach out to the individual they made the arrangements with. 

During the conversation, it’s vital to stay honest, as MSU research has found that the worst thing one can do is lie about it. “You shouldn’t lie about your reason for canceling plans, and don’t use “I’m sick” as a “get out of things you don’t want to do” card. The more often you use these made-up excuses, the less credible they become,” Goss says. Besides, the truth has a funny way of coming out, which has the potential to hinder any relationship. 

Instead, try to stay honest and offer a sincere apology—no one has prohibited us from canceling plans. “Apologize, make amends if necessary, and then let it go,” says Goss. “You don’t need to keep feeling bad about it.”

Ladly, if one wants to make it right with the person they’re canceling on, they may want to reschedule it and really mean it. A little prompt that etiquette expert Kelly Browne suggests using is: “I’m so sorry I can’t make it tonight, but I’d love to spend time with you. What does your schedule look like next week? I could do lunch on Wednesday or Thursday.”

The original poster provided more information in the comments

Some readers suspect the couple canceled due to more serious issues

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