I like the fiance. He seems like a good dude.

Mean Girl vibes. Poor woman

Don't you just love how they twisted her attempt to clarify into an accusation of being cheap? Guilty conscious much? Yes, they were being cheap... and yes, she probably wanted to clarify if they were being cheap... but - damn - how the hell do they know she wasn't trying to start up on "thank you" cards already? S**t, for that cheap-a*s group spend, it would probably cost her more to send a card to each of them.

I was so the outsider friend that guess who hasn't been the one in the FB pics of even "friends" for years now.. ? It still hurts. Quite a lot. Living in the same town and working literally in town. Never ends hearing about them or seeing them all together with their kids. I had to have mine on my own. Had absolutely no friends along my journey.

Someone spoke about the dynamic changing, but didn’t really get it right. I too was the last one of my supposed “friends” to get married. I too was always there for them, attended their weddings and baby showers and housewarmings and all. Yet when I announced I was getting married, all I got was disbelief and scoffing. No gifts either. They didn’t get invited to the wedding. You see, me being the last one to get married meant that they could feel superior to me because they had settled down and I was still single. But when I was actually going to be just like them, that killed the dynamic and my place in the group. Instead of being welcomed into “the club”, I was basically left out in the cold. That, I think, is the vibe with OP’s friends. Since OP will no longer be the token group member whose only role is to make the rest of them feel superior, their interest in having her around is gone. Her former place in the group has been nullified. OP just needs to do what I did, and that’s to say “F**k ‘em”, and dump that group of bitches—-except maybe, but only maybe, the only one who showed up at that one party, if she’s really worth it (probably not, as she joined them in everything else)—-and find new friends. A diverse group of friends who don’t base their feelings of accomplishment on whether they’re married or not. Oh yeah, by the way, all those married ex-friends of mine? Divorced, every single one of them, some of them divorced shortly after I got married, meaning their marriages were already on the rocks, and their “superiority” was built on quicksand,, a pile of lies. My husband and I? We’ll be celebrating 24 years together next May. Our relationship is also just as strong as ever—-and that’s not a lie.

I was so ready to conclude this person was the TA. But no, she just needs new friends :/

'they've been such a big part of my life'. Yes, like a cancer, and now you're rid of it. Celebrate your freedom!

That's me. I have always been an afterthought. In my friend circle and with my family. My entire life. I honestly can't figure out what is wrong with me. Poor woman, I hope she finds new friends.

Send a note to the group text along the line of the call out example above but maybe not so in depth. Call them out then move on and find the people that will celebrate YOU. Ugh. People.

One of the sad things no one tells you about growing up; you'll have less friends. The roads they are on arent your road anymore. They are harder to replace too. You and your 'friends' have hit that point. Move on, as painful as it is.

The 1 that said she was tired of going to the same boring wedding and hers would be the same is being a b***h. The boyfriend shouldn't have called them, he just made it worse. Wondering how much longer any of them will still be friends after this.

I would leave the group chat, unannounced, and I would block them all and get on with my life. They sound very entitled and very selfish, don't hang on just because they always been your friend. It's time to find adult REAL friends who appreciate you for YOU, not what you can do for them.

I’ve been the outsider friend too many times. I don’t put in much effort anymore.

What s**t f*****g people. Yuck

10 points to fiancée, minus 8 to the friends - each. In recent years I realised I was the one trying to initiate things so just stopped asking. It was sad and hard but now I just don't bother making up numbers and particularly donating to group presents. I decided this weekend that I will no longer call someone who doesn't call me - particularly when my mother died last month, but expects my sympathy when her nan died - and yet told me I could not speak about the traumatic inquest I had just attended as she was upset about her nan. At least her nan didn't die falling off a balcony. These people are not your friends, you are making up numbers. Sack them off, you'll feel much better for it.

PS the consensus on this post is unanimous, which is unusual for the internet. I'd send a link to this post to the group chat.

The hard realisation that I also recently had to come to, is that friendships do not come with a lifetime guarantee. It's not a good feeling, but there is nothing to do but move on.

NTA & I hope you have other friends outside this group because apparently your long-time friends have decided not to be your friends any longer - so very sorry this has happened & especially at this time (& if it turns out this is all one of those disgusting pranks & they tell you afterwards it was all "harmless fun," pls post back to say your fiance has m******d them all) when you'd want your friends celebrating such a happy event with you.What a bunch of mean, rude, heartless middle-schoolers. But if for some unknown reason (since none of them have had the decency to tell you what's going on, even if it were difficult & hurtful) they wanted you out of the group, in their twisted little minds they may have seen this as a golden opportunity: "Let's all be b****y & s****y & not participate in anything & give lots of lame excuses, even get a cheapo group gift, & maybe she'll get the message." Cowards. I can't fathom, tho, why you felt compelled to "clarify" that the air fryer was a group gift. Odd that they would tell you what they were getting you in the 1st place but that played right into their hands: now they could be indignant - they can say you as much as called them 'cheap.' Then your fiance, your knight in shining armor, came to your defense - in fact, went on the offense - &, with all loving intentions, again gave them more to work with. PLEEEEEEEZE ignore all the bad advice saying to call them out, enumerate all the $ you've spent on them & their weddings, even going overseas, how cheap they are, how shabbily they've treated you, how much you've done for them & their children ... don't uninvite them from the wedding ... don't have somebody at the door to turn them away if they show up. Don't sink to their level - YOU have decided you have to leave the group, & do so with dignity & your head held high. Craft a message for the group chat about how much the many years of being part of such a close group of true friends has meant to you ... the precious memories of so many shared times, both happy & sad ... knowing you could always count on them for support when you might need it ... how happy you were for them when they started having children & what a joy it's been to spend time with their children ... but, beginning a new life with all the challenges & changes that will bring, I'm so terribly sorry to tell you I'm going to have to leave the group. I just won't be able to devote the care & time to you, my dearest friends, that you deserve & that you have always shown me. We would love to see every one of you & your families at our wedding - you'll make another special memory to add to all the many others. & Tho I have to leave the group, you will always have a place in my heart." You know, pour it on. It'll confuse the H out of them. Then go have a wonderful new life.

You don't have to uninvite them specifically, but do have someone checking a list at the door to the reception, and after they got all dressed up and found babysitters and took off work and all that bulloney, tell them they are "not on the list" and send them away. Stay out of that "group chat" from now on and block everyone who has criticized you in any way, but be sure to rave on IG or FB about what a great reception you had and how lovely and generous your friends and family are. You're starting a new life with your husband, so it's time to throw out the trash and refresh your head space.

Really s****y friends to someone who sounds like she's been a good friend. I can't understand some people.

I was gonna say, then she figured it out. Sound like a fun couple.

Maybe you thought you were friends but they felt you were just an acquaintance? Maybe they just let you tagged along?

Ibhve clicked on this thrice because of changes to the title. I can understand editing it to make it more readable, but soon i will just start to avoid any posts mase by this poster. Just saying

A lot of it may be just due to marriage and kids.. Your priorities change completely after that. But if I had friends coming to my marriage I'd make an effort to go to theirs as a sign of respect.

I had 2 friends at mine. Small on purpose, but couldn't have been big anyway. Never had more than 4 friends ever.

This is absolutely one of those make it public for all of them and burn not just the bridge but the entire neighborhood down. $8 gift is WAY more insulting than nothing. Its obvious they are not just trash friends but sh*t excuse for people. You find what hurts them the most and hit them there. Over and over and over.

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I feel like there's more to this story. Some parts it just don't jive.

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I think brides and grooms expect way too much from their wedding parties. Their friends should not be out any money except for gifts. Shame on everyone for expecting so much from your friends.