This is my mother and three of my older sisters. If I wanted them to be on time for anything I had to tell them a time that would put normal people an hour early. I also eventually gave up and let them eat crow. And I continue that policy to this day. They are high functioning people who have no trouble being on time for work or doctor's appointments, but when it comes to family/friends they expect unlimited tolerance. I cut them no slack and when possible, allow them to experience financial penalties (cancellation fees, no admittance after blank clauses, or just locking my door and ignoring them). Instead of making me worry and stress, I am free of the burden they place upon me, and it's wonderful

Finally!!! The YTA’s are not unhinged and I completely agree with them!!

So stupid. Bus leaves at 7, period. Then go. If she wants to arrive at a restaurant 1.5 hours late, then she can eat dinner while everyone else is ordering dessert. A plane will leave without her. They have been enabling her. Such b.s.

'You know how he/she is" is the sing of those who want to keep the peace when they're not te offended party.

They keep telling an earlier time so that she will hopefully be on time. Sarah needs to get up off her a*s and show up on time or not show up at all and not get mad at the others.

Being late is her issue to solve. I say that as a chronic late person. I have no sense of time. I have to set an alarm that goes off every ten minutes otherwise I could not tell you how long it's been. It's very difficult for me to estimate how long ago things happened, or differentiate days. I remember events, but my timeline is always way off. Took and ADHD diagnosis for me to finally understand. I do think that time blindness is a real thing, and simply a neurotype. That being said: You have to deal with it. You can't make other people suffer because of it, and when you mess sup you have to take responsibility because this is your issue. She could be ADHD, she could be just manipulative or selfish, but either way ....SHE has to learn to cope. You can be patient and supportive without being enabling or having your boundaries violated. It was a boundary. She messed it up

Imo - people accepting she is late by saying "you know how she is" is part of why she doesnt care enough to show up in time. It is not selfish for a group of people to leave when someone is this late, it is selfish to demand that other people should miss out on fun just because you have a problem with respectin being on time.

If you're an hour late you can meet at a new spot instead of the original one.

My dad was like this, to be at a 12 pm wedding they would tell us it started at 11. After my parents divorced I hated waiting excitedly for an hour with my coat on to get picked up. I've always prescribed to the "on time is ten minutes late" myself because I remember how it feels to be kept waiting. When I started using d***s then became full out heroin addict I couldn't understand how people "on their way" from 5 mins away weren't there for an hour because an hour is a long time to leave someone s******g themselves and puking. So I was always left waiting bc my expectations of myself are just higher than other people's I guess no matter what the situation is. As a (now clean) store general manager i abhor lateness. Applicants who are late for an interview without calling or texting either get refused right out or i waste 5 mins interviewing and throw their application in garbage in front of them as I walk through the employee door.

Can't imagine why on earth they waited over an hour, that was ridiculous.

I have a friend actually named Sarah and she may be this person lol bc she can never be on time and it is infuriating. I used to be her boss though and one time did put her in her place over it. But she learned nothing and is still chronically late. It's disrespectful and unnecessary, and when it matters, like a vendor schedule, I give zero grace. We are all adults and we learned to tell time in kindergarten.

Our small friend group also had a “Sarah.” (She died almost 10 years ago at age 48 of a heart attack). While she was alive, she was a nice person…but she could also be horribly inconsiderate. She repeatedly was a no-show when we all would get together for dinner and/or drinks. I don’t even mean running late…she just wouldn’t show up at all, even though she had said that she would. If we called or texted her to see if she was okay, she wouldn’t even bother answering. More often than not, we wouldn’t hear from her at all until a few days later, when she would make some excuse such as, “Oh, I fell asleep!” It happened often enough that we got used to it so it wasn’t unexpected, but it was really irritating, in particular to me and one of the other girls in our group. I don’t like to speak badly about the dead…but when a person is chronically late or absent after agreeing to be there, it’s just really inconsiderate. And it says that they don’t care about other people’s time at all!

My grandmother was always late. It was due to undiagnosed ADD and social anxiety. She always felt bad and was embarassed. That probably wasn't the case here based on the reaction. NTA someone had to put their foot down.

Give her 10 minutes max.

I am a chronically late person, but usually not more than 15 minutes. I don't think OP overreacted at all. She was extremely generous in waiting for over an hour. I would not expect anyone to wait that long for me.

It is very hard to believe that so many people in her group feel she did wrong! Nearly unbelievable???

Not an ahole, but you are stupid. If you know your friend is habitually late you just tell them (only) an earlier time to be there. Want them to show up at 7? Say be there by 5:30.

I had friends like this in CA and it drove me crazy. If you wanted them over at 2 you had to say noon. Otherwise they'd show up at 4. It's sooooo rude. My husband and I are always early for everything. Doc appt at 11? We are there by 1030 or earlier.

A friend of mine got tired of inlaws being late for dinner, told them I'll allow 15 min. For traffic but after that, dinner is on the front lawn. They were never late again.

I think the friends who don't agree with her are enabling the bad behavior. How many others enable her so she keeps getting away with it. People who never suffer the consequences for their bad decisions and behavior just keep on doing their c**p. Does this person have a job? Is she late to that? I bet not or she wouldn't have a job. I would stop inviting people like this.

I'm ashamed but I'm notoriously late. It's mostly time management and my makeup and hair have to be perfect. Not so much anymore, I'm learning how to be less self conscious and more aware of time. I even carry my hair supplies and makeup in a separate tote with me just in case I have to look nice. I don't usually wear it to work or fix myself up so I'll get dolled up at work if I need to. This comes from years of being expected to be perfect by my parents and my own self consciousness. Anyway...my sister always gives me the wrong time to be at places so I'll be on time. If I'm running late and I know it would hold up a group of friends I just tell them to go ahead I'll meet them there. I would never expect them to wait around over an hour and ruin someone's birthday!!! That's ridiculous and selfish! My friends and definitely my sister would have been left! I have no excuse and own up to my ish and I've gotten soooooooo much better. Everybody is so surprised.

I hate being late and I set alarms on my phone for every action (wake up, shower, sort out pets) and out the door. In this day and age where we tend to have a smart phone, or even before that we’d use an egg timer, there’s no excuse.

Some people will not learn until something negative happens to them. (Also I love how the ESH/YTA were actually for valid reasons)

Yep, I had a friend like that. Thought the world revolved around her and was always late. Lucky they weren't on a tour bus in Australia (not my home country). They leave on time whether you're on the bus or not! Saw a couple of tourists left behind because of this

I am someone who is pretty consistently 5-20 min late. I don’t mean to be and I try really hard to get places on time but my brain isn’t wired for that (long explanation). It suck for me, it sucks for others, and it is not coming from a place of disrespect. That said, I can’t and don’t expect everyone else to put their lives on hold and screw up their plans because my brain is hampering me. It is unfair to them and fosters resentment. This chronically late friend is a self centered a*****e

NTA. I would give her, and all your friends, a 15 minute courtesy wait time. On minute 16, off we go! She's a grown up-she knows how to be on time. She just chooses not to. Fine. That's HER choice that should effect ONLY HER and not the whole group.

NTA and don't cave. Give her times, in the future, that are another 30 minutes off, another 30 minutes too early. If it happens that she's on time in this regard, so sad she gotta wait. What a tragedy. If she still makes it to not make it, make her make plans in the future. Make her sign for any timeslotted booked things, make her name on all of this. Sometimes, that makes them consider agreed-on times somewhat relevant to them, sometimes, they just refuse. Regardless, if her timery skills weren't so nonexisting, none of this would happen, so any fall out, she can be the sole owner of.