Better late than never, but never late is better

Finally!!! The YTA’s are not unhinged and I completely agree with them!!

I would have just left at 7 and told Sarah to meet you at the first place you were stopping instead. It's one thing being late and to be honest about it, but the people who say "I'm almost there" when they haven't even left have no respect for other people's time. If you're going to be royally late, at least have the courtesy to give me an accurate eta, so I can do other stuff instead of just idling thinking you'll be there any minute.

They keep telling an earlier time so that she will hopefully be on time. Sarah needs to get up off her a*s and show up on time or not show up at all and not get mad at the others.

Being late is her issue to solve. I say that as a chronic late person. I have no sense of time. I have to set an alarm that goes off every ten minutes otherwise I could not tell you how long it's been. It's very difficult for me to estimate how long ago things happened, or differentiate days. I remember events, but my timeline is always way off. Took and ADHD diagnosis for me to finally understand. I do think that time blindness is a real thing, and simply a neurotype. That being said: You have to deal with it. You can't make other people suffer because of it, and when you mess sup you have to take responsibility because this is your issue. She could be ADHD, she could be just manipulative or selfish, but either way ....SHE has to learn to cope. You can be patient and supportive without being enabling or having your boundaries violated. It was a boundary. She messed it up

I hate people like Sarah. Really hate them

My grandmother was always late. It was due to undiagnosed ADD and social anxiety. She always felt bad and was embarassed. That probably wasn't the case here based on the reaction. NTA someone had to put their foot down.

My dad was like this, to be at a 12 pm wedding they would tell us it started at 11. After my parents divorced I hated waiting excitedly for an hour with my coat on to get picked up. I've always prescribed to the "on time is ten minutes late" myself because I remember how it feels to be kept waiting. When I started using d***s then became full out heroin addict I couldn't understand how people "on their way" from 5 mins away weren't there for an hour because an hour is a long time to leave someone s******g themselves and puking. So I was always left waiting bc my expectations of myself are just higher than other people's I guess no matter what the situation is. As a (now clean) store general manager i abhor lateness. Applicants who are late for an interview without calling or texting either get refused right out or i waste 5 mins interviewing and throw their application in garbage in front of them as I walk through the employee door.

I have had this issue with a friend. One time I was meeting him for breakfast at 8 before going to a function. I texted him at 8:10 and he said he was on his way. He lived 15 minutes away. At 8:30 he said he was almost there. I left at 9:15 after only having coffee, since I was stupid enough to believe his lies. And when I saw him, that is exactly what I called out - his lies. The same way that the poster should have called out the woman lying saying that she was almost there.

I have a friend actually named Sarah and she may be this person lol bc she can never be on time and it is infuriating. I used to be her boss though and one time did put her in her place over it. But she learned nothing and is still chronically late. It's disrespectful and unnecessary, and when it matters, like a vendor schedule, I give zero grace. We are all adults and we learned to tell time in kindergarten.

Our small friend group also had a “Sarah.” (She died almost 10 years ago at age 48 of a heart attack). While she was alive, she was a nice person…but she could also be horribly inconsiderate. She repeatedly was a no-show when we all would get together for dinner and/or drinks. I don’t even mean running late…she just wouldn’t show up at all, even though she had said that she would. If we called or texted her to see if she was okay, she wouldn’t even bother answering. More often than not, we wouldn’t hear from her at all until a few days later, when she would make some excuse such as, “Oh, I fell asleep!” It happened often enough that we got used to it so it wasn’t unexpected, but it was really irritating, in particular to me and one of the other girls in our group. I don’t like to speak badly about the dead…but when a person is chronically late or absent after agreeing to be there, it’s just really inconsiderate. And it says that they don’t care about other people’s time at all!

Would have been better to tell her to be there at 5 and never say the actual time, if they cherished the friendship, but either way, I don‘t blame them for leaving.

If she is consistently 90 minutes late.... tell her everyone is gathering 90 minutes before you need to leave, start an event, be somewhere..... If one day she actually shows up on time and asks where everyone is, tell her that the time got moved back and everyone should start showing up soon. JMO

Yea, I know a couple folks, like her. Drives me crazy. I would of told her first time. 15mins or we rolling out. Bet she would been there. Showing up 10mins after you did it. She was around the whole time, not caring about anyone but herself, so nta

Janelle Collard

Janelle Collard

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

Premium

Premium user. Get details.

That friend group has been too lenient with Sarah for too long. After the first few times she was late they should have told her, "We're leaving at X time. If you're not here by then, you're not coming."

Yep, I had a friend like that. Thought the world revolved around her and was always late. Lucky they weren't on a tour bus in Australia (not my home country). They leave on time whether you're on the bus or not! Saw a couple of tourists left behind because of this

I am someone who is pretty consistently 5-20 min late. I don’t mean to be and I try really hard to get places on time but my brain isn’t wired for that (long explanation). It suck for me, it sucks for others, and it is not coming from a place of disrespect. That said, I can’t and don’t expect everyone else to put their lives on hold and screw up their plans because my brain is hampering me. It is unfair to them and fosters resentment. This chronically late friend is a self centered a*****e

NTA. I would give her, and all your friends, a 15 minute courtesy wait time. On minute 16, off we go! She's a grown up-she knows how to be on time. She just chooses not to. Fine. That's HER choice that should effect ONLY HER and not the whole group.

NTA and don't cave. Give her times, in the future, that are another 30 minutes off, another 30 minutes too early. If it happens that she's on time in this regard, so sad she gotta wait. What a tragedy. If she still makes it to not make it, make her make plans in the future. Make her sign for any timeslotted booked things, make her name on all of this. Sometimes, that makes them consider agreed-on times somewhat relevant to them, sometimes, they just refuse. Regardless, if her timery skills weren't so nonexisting, none of this would happen, so any fall out, she can be the sole owner of.