Woman Finds It Strange That Her Bestie Didn’t Invite Her To Her B-Day Party, Thinks Of Ending It

If there’s anything I have learned from the web series Friends, it’s that even the closest of friendships can face conflict. At times, they get resolved pretty quickly and the fight turns into a thing of the past, but there are times when things go beyond repairable.

Even the original poster (OP) felt that her friendship with her bestie of 15 years was tainted after she didn’t invite her to her birthday party. On top of it, she didn’t even gift the woman on her birthday, as they did every year, intensifying the rift between them!

More info: Mumsnet

Conflicts with friends are natural, and while some are resolved quickly, some just ruin the friendship

Woman Finds It Strange That Her Bestie Didn't Invite Her To Her B-Day Party, Thinks Of Ending It

Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The poster’s friend of 15 years had a milestone birthday and was going to have a big party, which eventually did not happen

Woman Finds It Strange That Her Bestie Didn't Invite Her To Her B-Day Party, Thinks Of Ending It

Image credits: Savingthehedgehogs

Woman Finds It Strange That Her Bestie Didn't Invite Her To Her B-Day Party, Thinks Of Ending It

Image credits: Ivan Samkov / Pexels (not the actual photo)

However, the poster got to know from another friend that it did happen only with “close friends,” which they were, but she still didn’t invite her

Woman Finds It Strange That Her Bestie Didn't Invite Her To Her B-Day Party, Thinks Of Ending It

Image credits: Savingthehedgehogs

Woman Finds It Strange That Her Bestie Didn't Invite Her To Her B-Day Party, Thinks Of Ending It

Image credits: gpointstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Even on the poster’s birthday, the friend didn’t give her a card and gift like they generally did, so the poster felt she was cooling down their friendship

Woman Finds It Strange That Her Bestie Didn't Invite Her To Her B-Day Party, Thinks Of Ending It

Image credits: Savingthehedgehogs

The poster confronted her, she apologized and tried to make plans, but the poster felt like their friendship was “tainted” and wondered what to give her for her birthday

Today’s story is about a friendship that didn’t make it to forever as no invitation to a birthday party led to tons of drama. What happened was that the poster had a close friend of over 15 years who had a milestone birthday and OP gave her a thoughtful gift and also sent her flowers.

Now, this friend was supposed to have a big party, but it didn’t end up happening, or so the poster thought. One day, she found out from another friend that she had a small party with just “close friends” that included their mutual ones as well. It definitely sounds strange, doesn’t it?

This must’ve hurt OP, but things escalated further when her friend didn’t send her a card and a gift like she sends every birthday, turning things completely sour for the poster. Well, she just assumed that her friend wanted to cool down their friendship or prioritize other friends over her.

The poster is someone who prefers honesty so she didn’t shy away from confronting her friend about this, and received quite sincere apologies from her. However, she just didn’t feel like things were good between the two now and mentioned that their friendship felt “tainted”.

Even when her friend had reached out to make plans together, OP didn’t really feel like it, so that’s why the main dilemma arose when it was time for her friend’s birthday again. The poster vented online and asked whether she should send her a card and gift as usual or send her nothing at all.

Woman Finds It Strange That Her Bestie Didn't Invite Her To Her B-Day Party, Thinks Of Ending It

Image credits: karlyukav / Freepik (not the actual photo)

According to Loughborough University, conflicts between friends can arise due to jealousy, poor communication, or a lack of respect for another person. However, this situation is quite tricky as the friend suddenly started acting strange without any reason, as opposed to the smooth friendship of the past 15-plus years.

Many people online pointed out that it did sound like a friendship where the poster was giving more than her 100%, while it was not being reciprocated by the friend. Quite a few mentioned that such friendships were not worth keeping as it was not one of equality, and even OP commented that her friend always came to her only when she had problems.

The poster also revealed that she found it quite demeaning and folks online couldn’t help but agree with her. They advised that for this birthday, she could just text her wishes via text, but slowly fade away from her life as it was just another unnecessary thing to worry about for someone who didn’t even care much.

Psychology Today states, “You can change no one but yourself. Not everyone wants to be what others want them to be and you may have to decide when it’s time to draw the line and walk away from your friends you are in conflict with.”

Looks like what netizens advised might be the best solution after all, don’t you think so? If you were in the poster’s shoes, how would you handle such behavior from a close friend? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!

Folks online agreed with her that it was a fading friendship and advised her that it would be better if she slowly ended it

Woman Finds It Strange That Her Bestie Didn't Invite Her To Her B-Day Party, Thinks Of Ending It

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Hey, am Rutuja! A storyteller at heart and a writer at Bored Panda. I have a strange love for words, and I mostly survive on coffee which is the driving force behind my writing. I enjoy working on articles that purely entertain our readers. When am not writing or trekking, you can find me staying up late and watching all the matches of Football Club Barcelona!

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What do you think ?

POST

Lyoness 2 weeks ago

This sucks but it happens. My exbff just took and took and took. Over a period of years I supported her through illness, infidelity (hers), daddy issues, you name it, and had no problem doing it. She was my best friend. Fast forward to a few years ago when I needed her for all the same reasons (albeit there was no cheating, just some communication issues at home). You'd think I was asking her to pull down the moon. There was always an excuse. Too tired, too busy, but the one that showed me the friendship was over was when she said I was "too negative" for talking about my struggles. And there was a 15 year friendship gone. Poof! But it became obvious things had been one sided for a long time. I still miss them, but I'm not sorry she's gone.

5points

Rdj 1 week ago (edited)

Why would you want to be friends with a cheater? It's no surprise she was selfish and also nasty to you. I dated a cheater briefly and a couple warned me. They were friends with him. They knew me and now they thought it was too much. They also broke off the friendship. He was trying to ruin their life too. He set em up against each other and took advantage of them. He always sat there eating the food they cooked. It was weird. All these people knew he constantly cheated on his ex wife, but they felt sorry for him.

1point

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Carol Borg 2 weeks ago

Personally I think it's time to put some distance between you and bring this relationship into the friendly accents zone. Primarily so that you can feel comfortable maintaining a relationship with other people in the group that you want to stay in touch with with minimal awkwardness. A card on her birthday is enough. In meantime, make plans with the other people in the group u care about on a one on one basis

2points

GalPalAl 2 weeks ago

This happened to me with someone who I thought was a friend. At some point, thinking back to all the different ways I was the one driving the friendship forward and realizing how she always slighted me, I stoppped contacting her. Had a falling out with her and another friend before, mentioned my feelings to both of them, which they didn't acknowledge or apologize for. When you finally understand that people are only fair weather, it's time to move on.

2points

Paul Rabit 2 weeks ago

Friends come and go. This one sounds like it's going.... or changing to something less... and that's fine. It happens. I say focus on the folks important to your life in the moment - life is too short to reach out to those who never reach back.

1point

Mad McQueen 2 weeks ago

She iced you out of a milestone party but accepted your gifts. Then when called out on it kinda sorta forgot yours too. I think from now on don't go out of your way. Return gifts the same style She gets you. She sent a card? Only send a card. She wants to meet for lunch. Make sure you offer to meet a month later. Don't go out of your way. Apparently she's got new friends an that's he prerogative. But ghosting a friend sucks. I've been there. Being to one to call an want to share stuff or meet up it gets exhausting when they don't bother to return it. Keep the mutual friends as say nice things when you find yourself in her company. But keep it light unless offers to do something. She wants to meet for a lunch tell her to text you the week off to check schedules.

1point

v 2 weeks ago (edited)

For me, OPs thing is undone by stating that she prefers honest and direct communication and then follows it up with reluctance to meet with her friend. Basically it leaves me feeling that she is writing the story she wants told rather than the story as it happened.

1point

CBolt 4 days ago

OP did meet with the "friend," told her she was hurt, got an apology (but no explanation). After that, I wouldn't be interested in meeting with her again either.

0points

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Rdj 1 week ago (edited)

No I believe this. Just be friendly and let it go. Don't bother sending cards and gifts. The message was clear. The friendship is over.

0points

Broadredpanda 2 weeks ago

But, I think it's because like she said " she embarrassed" and didn't go out in case she bumped into them. Sometimes embarrassment can change your perception and thinking. I don't think OP is bad! I think she just cares way more than she should because she admitted it's been one sided for a while. Her friend is a selfish b***h and not worthy of OPs respect or appreciation

0points

Dina Zikopoulos 2 weeks ago

if you decide to send a card, make it plain and simple. nothing extravagant. should you send a text, make it brief. no emojis. just a good old fashion Happy Birthday....or HB. ha! i was friends with someone for 50 yrs. took our one and only road trip together in 2019....and that was it. after taking turns driving 3 or 4 days with me driving the majority that last day, she wants me to drive her to a hotel. we were literally 3 minutes to our destination. i said she could call a cab from the house but no. she got out right there at the traffic lights. haven't seen her since. i did call her daughter to make sure she's ok. she is.

1point

Rdj 1 week ago

That's weird.

0points

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Monica G 2 weeks ago (edited)

She was never a real friend, just taking advantage of OP. Probably been secretly envious of her too.

1point

CBolt 4 days ago

OP, the former friend did a cra**y thing so now she's not worthy of the friendship you always showed her. If she doesn't want to be friends, fine - you can't force her to be. &, anyway, who wants to be friends with somebody who treats others that way? You have high standards for what a true friendship is & she just doesn't come up to the mark. It's her loss. Just let it go now - no cards, no texts. (&, please, if she attempts to reel you back into her version of a friendship, apologizes, grovels at your feet, or comes to you to discuss some problem she has, just say that part of your life when you were friends is in the past, you've moved on, & can't be of any help to her.)

0points

Broadredpanda 2 weeks ago

OP! I would completely ignore her birthday! If she cares about you, it'll hurt like she hurt you, but if she's not bothered, she's really not worth even a happy birthday text.

0points

CatDubh 2 weeks ago

Web series "Friends"? "Web series"? I'm getting old...

0points

POST

Lyoness 2 weeks ago

5points

Rdj 1 week ago (edited)

1point

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Carol Borg 2 weeks ago

2points

GalPalAl 2 weeks ago

2points

Paul Rabit 2 weeks ago

1point

Mad McQueen 2 weeks ago

1point

v 2 weeks ago (edited)

1point

CBolt 4 days ago

OP did meet with the "friend," told her she was hurt, got an apology (but no explanation). After that, I wouldn't be interested in meeting with her again either.

0points

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Rdj 1 week ago (edited)

No I believe this. Just be friendly and let it go. Don't bother sending cards and gifts. The message was clear. The friendship is over.

0points

Broadredpanda 2 weeks ago

0points

Dina Zikopoulos 2 weeks ago

1point

Rdj 1 week ago

That's weird.

0points

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Monica G 2 weeks ago (edited)

She was never a real friend, just taking advantage of OP. Probably been secretly envious of her too.

1point

CBolt 4 days ago

0points

Broadredpanda 2 weeks ago

OP! I would completely ignore her birthday! If she cares about you, it'll hurt like she hurt you, but if she's not bothered, she's really not worth even a happy birthday text.

0points

CatDubh 2 weeks ago

Web series "Friends"? "Web series"? I'm getting old...

0points

Woman Finds It Strange That Her Bestie Didn’t Invite Her To Her B-Day Party, Thinks Of Ending It

Conflicts with friends are natural, and while some are resolved quickly, some just ruin the friendship

The poster’s friend of 15 years had a milestone birthday and was going to have a big party, which eventually did not happen

However, the poster got to know from another friend that it did happen only with “close friends,” which they were, but she still didn’t invite her

Even on the poster’s birthday, the friend didn’t give her a card and gift like they generally did, so the poster felt she was cooling down their friendship

The poster confronted her, she apologized and tried to make plans, but the poster felt like their friendship was “tainted” and wondered what to give her for her birthday

Folks online agreed with her that it was a fading friendship and advised her that it would be better if she slowly ended it

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Woman Finds It Strange That Her Bestie Didn’t Invite Her To Her B-Day Party, Thinks Of Ending It

Conflicts with friends are natural, and while some are resolved quickly, some just ruin the friendship

The poster’s friend of 15 years had a milestone birthday and was going to have a big party, which eventually did not happen

However, the poster got to know from another friend that it did happen only with “close friends,” which they were, but she still didn’t invite her

Even on the poster’s birthday, the friend didn’t give her a card and gift like they generally did, so the poster felt she was cooling down their friendship

The poster confronted her, she apologized and tried to make plans, but the poster felt like their friendship was “tainted” and wondered what to give her for her birthday

Folks online agreed with her that it was a fading friendship and advised her that it would be better if she slowly ended it

Poll Question

Thanks! Check out the results:

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Games

Rutuja Dumbre

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