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Building a formidable, long-lasting friendship can take years. However, it only takes one incident to cause significant damage and ruin everything for good.
The following responses are from a question someone posed on Reddit: “What was the incident in your friend group?” People shared stories about infidelity, hypocrisy, jealousy, and deceit. Some were because of childish reasons. Ultimately, they all led to messy friend breakups, which are always awful when they happen.
Scroll down the list to read through the answers. You may feel for a few people because of what happened to them, but some may make you shake your head in disappointment.
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#1
One of the vocally “anti-children during hangouts” women got pregnant, then brought her infant to every hangout and shushed anyone who spoke above a decibel. We reminded her that she was the one who gave other people s**t if they even hinted at bringing one of their kids.l and hangout time was adult time. She started sabotaging the group hangouts so we ousted her.
#2
A friend of ours was talking to a girl on the internet. He went to meet her and got arrested. Turns out ... there was no girl; it was one of those undercover stings where officers act like underage kids to catch men speaking to children. ... He traveled almost 200 miles to meet this underage girl. It broke our friend group apart. Some tried to defend him, saying that it was entrapment; others, like me, cut all ties with him.
Blue Bunny of Happiness 2 months ago
There is no defence for his behaviour. Shocking that people tried to defend him. Even if you argued entrapment, anyone with a moral compass knows that’s wrong.
#3
We broke up an engaged couple as a group. Basically staged an intervention with the groom. There was 12 of us at this meeting. She was a terrible, hateful person that was only marrying our friend for his earning potential. She was working to seperate him from his friends and family.
Folks, if literally your entire friend groups HATES your partner, you should listen to them.
He was pissed, but thankfully did some soul searching and talked with his parents and broke it off. He later married a fantastic woman that we all adore. They're probably the happiest couple in our friend group.
#4
Accidental discharge of a firearm at a Christmas party after alcohol. I was the intended 'target'. The shooter got himself instead. For my health, I decided upon a change of cities and friend groups.
#5
Had a group of friends in high school, and I got married and had a child shortly after. My wife and I struggled a bit financially, and I was starting to become stressed out and depressed about it. Us guys got together, and I talked a bit about it to get it off my chest. The entire group came to the conclusion that the best way to fix the financial issues was to abandon my wife and daughter. And it wasn't joking sorta stuff either. They really meant it.
Needless to say, I dint associate with them anymore.
Sergio Bicerra 2 months ago
They gave the worst selfish advice just to have their buddy back. Nope. Ditch them.
#6
Weirdly enough, a car accident. Four friends were in the car when it got T-Boned. Totally the other driver's fault, she was going too fast into a blind hill. Our friend in the seat that was closest to the accident died from internal injuries. The last time we were all together was his funeral. We see each other around town now and again, still have mutual friends, we're all in a "Remembering (friend)" facebook group with his family. But for some reason we all just. Never got together again. No one talks about it. .
Joelle Jansen 2 months ago
This one is extra sad to me, because these friends could've supported each other in their shared grief.
#7
Friend asks all of us to be bridesmaids in her wedding, lets us buy dresses and get them altered, then gets married in her backyard alone without telling any of us. We found out when the wedding pictures were posted on Facebook.
#8
I was the youngest in my friend group at the time and looked up to my friends a lot, and I valued their opinion on me. They knew that, and all but two of them apparently thought it’d be funny to get together and make a long list of everything they found annoying/weird about me, then sent it to me assuming the other two would be on their side. They weren’t.
An entire relationship was broken apart, I started going to therapy for a while, and what remained of that group argued with each other until they all split. It’s been three years and that still stays on my mind.
#9
The girlfriend of my friend Bob announced to our group of friends that one of our friends (lets call him John) tried to kiss her in a party where Bob was not presented.
John denied that he did such thing and he said that it was actually her that tried to kiss him in the party, but when he refused she became mad at him and said that she would "destroy his life".
We didn't have any proof that either story was true, so half of our friend group decided to side with Bob and his girlfriend, while the rest of us sided with John. This created a divide in our group and things were weird for a while.
But around 2 months after this incident Bob found out that his girlfriend was f*****g a co-worker and broke up with her. Now, this still doesn't prove who was telling the truth regarding the attempt kiss in that party between her and John, but now everybody believed in John's version.
Unfortunately this caused big crack in our group that never fully healed. Despite his ex cheating on him with a co-worker, for some reason Bob still believed in her version of the story and never tried to make amends with John.
Also, the part of our group that initially believed in Bob's girlfriend story tried to apologize to John, but John never accepted their apologies. He was angry because some of our friends decided to believe in a unknown girl (she was Bob's girlfriend, but she was never part of our group; we knew very little about her) instead of believing him. Some of our friends that sided with her knew John for more than 10 years, yet they didn't believe in him.
So, in the end, she didn't destroy John's life like she promised, but she destroyed our group of friends. F**k that b***h.
Kari Panda 2 months ago (edited)
The same thing happened to my now husband. A woman at work was into him, he turned her down (he wasn’t in a relationship but simply wasn’t interested in her), and she started to tell others that he had tried to assault her. It really messed with him and he was too afraid to get into a relationship with anyone for years. I hate people who do that with all my soul, especially as there are so many true victims of sexual assault who seem less believable because of maniacs like that.
#10
One of the former members of my friend group started selling d***s to children and bringing them to his place to get high together.
We knew he was a dealer but selling to kids crossed a red line. One of us admitted to anonymously tipping off the cops about it. There's 2 circumstances among us where snitching is 100% acceptable. If one of us beat our gf, or anything involving children.
#11
Our friend, the perfect husband with a perfect wife and a perfect child and a perfect harmonic relationship showing love to each other all the time had encounters with HUNDREDS of [escorts] all around country. He was travelling a lot with his car and had a second secret mobile phone. His wife found it and there were literally hundreds of phone numbers to [escorts]. He left, no contact for almost 2 years, and then he came back and they are back together like nothing happened. WTF? :D.
#12
My friend [slept with] my girlfriend inside my house, on my bed... This was the incident that separated us all, we were a group of friends of 7 people, including my old girlfriend.
#13
We found out that a former friend in our circle had gone full QAnon and was in the January 6th riots. So that's *fun*.
#14
A former friend of the group had a mental breakdown, assaulted his sister, and declared himself the second coming of Jesus.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 2 months ago (edited)
Is this the back story of Elon Musk? Is that why he is that way?
#15
Found out that a friend had faked his death and assumed a new identity. This was because he used to be a d**g dealer and needed to disappear to avoid arrest.
This all came up because his girlfriend at the time hit him and then called the cops. Once he was fingerprinted it all came up.
#16
Guy A (32) was in a long term relationship with Girl A (26).
Girl B (22) was friends with me (25). Girl B started sleeping with Guy A. Girl B had a drinking problem. Guy A would get Girl B drunk and sleep with her. I found out, lost my s**t. Guy A started a smear campaign against me and caused me to lose 90% of my friends.
Girl A came to me 2 years later and asked if Guy A had slept with Girl B. I said yes. Guy A, convinced Girl B to lie about the situation. Girl A cut contact with me. Eventually Girl A found out the truth several years later and dumped him. I never got an apology or closure.
#17
A friend's dog [ended] and ate another friend's smaller dog.
#18
Our friend just vanished. Straight up disappeared and nobody knew where he went.
I was on a two week school trip back then myself, so I was more disconnected of the whole thing, but apparently his parents had divorced (only one person got the info very late) and he wanted a short break to gather his thoughts. He even had made plans with our other friends to meet after said time. Only to just… not to do so.
He stopped answering to everyone, abandoned every account he had and… just stopped being.
The friend, who got the memo, and I had suspected for a while that he might be depressed, due to his slowly growing drinking habit in the evening and subtle change in personality. We even voiced our concerns back then, which he, according to his own words, appreciated.
Those of us who could would try to visit him often and look for him at home, only for his new roommate to just turn them away with “he isn’t home at the moment.” Don’t know if he delivered the memos or gifts we left either.
I understand if he didn’t want to be friends with us anymore. Anyone has the right to that and doesn’t have to justify it, but since the change came so sudden and concerned everyone, especially since he wasn’t doing well, everyone was really worried.
A few months later one of our other friends met him surprisingly at a work event, where he tried to talk with him. He was miserable and not looking good, but alive, which to some extent calmed some of us a bit. According to our friend he was indeed depressed and was trapped in the non stop downwards spiral, where he couldn’t answer his friends but wanted to, feeling more and more ashamed of himself and so withdrawing even more. My friend tried to calm him and had apparently a good talk. They even made plans to meet again, only for my friend to cancel them due to an own private emergency. After that our missing friend didn’t respond again.
Shortly after that there was a huge fight with some
other friends of the group (unrelated, but the stress from said incident didn’t help), which split it definitely. It was pure chaos and a stressful time. I mean we still talk separately together, do stuff now and then, even got new friends into the group, but it’s not the same anymore…
Also it might seem rather silly, but I still write to my missing friend from time to time – don’t know if he gets them though. As long as he doesn’t tell me to quit it, I will continue to do so. I miss him dearly.
Sorry for the long rant. It has been two years, but I just realised how much this has affected me.
I just hope he’s doing better, everything else is not important.
Myoviridae 2 months ago
Oh dear, I understand this one. You have close friends, but then you are going through something and you do not reach out. Then time passes and you think maybe you should reach out to them, but then you owe them an explanation, which will take a lot to write... and what if you do it wrong and they are pissed and then you have to deal with them being mad at you and then you start to feel bad again... (run-on, stream of consciousness sentence is intentional to reflect the thought process)
#19
One of my best friends was getting married. In the months leading up to it, his mother had a falling out with his fiancee about throwing her a second shower while the fiancee was working in another part of the country. They eventually all seemingly make up but his mom never got over it. There was a big misunderstanding at the rehearsal dinner (truly too long for this) and my buddy's family made an absolute a*s of themselves. He disowned his parents that night and his brother told him to find a new best man.
They shared a family plan and shut off my buddy's phone the morning of his wedding. While we're all having a good time, he's panicing and setting up a new phone number and transfering all his work stuff over to his new number. His parents told everyone on their side that the wedding was off. The wedding wasn't off. His side of the church was near empty, I had to write a best man's speech the night before and help the wedding planner rearrange the dining hall so it didn't look like his whole family flaked on him. It's been five years of his parents writing letters, chasing them in stores (small town), and showing up to their house unannounced. They've not acknowledged his wife once in any communication. His mom told all her customers the wedding was off, but everyone in town can clearly see my friends are very much married. She stopped working all together not long after.
My brother could commit capital murder and I'd still be on his side of the courtroom. F**k you, I hope you see this.
#20
I've had a group of buddies, 4 of us total, since high school. We all ended up in college together.
I brought a girl into the friend group. We went on a few informal dates, and would make out a little bit, but when summer came our freshman year of college, we cooled off. I got a girlfriend, she ended up fooling around with a guy back home. It was really no big deal. We still remained friends with no hard feelings.
One of my friends ended up hooking up with this girl regularly. Total FWB situation. I was glad. Now there was really no hard feelings or jealousy because I was with my girlfriend and she had my buddy to have her fun with.
We noticed our third friend ended up getting really distant and resentful. THREE YEARS LATER on a road trip, he gets drunk and confronts my buddy: He was madly in love with my friend, my buddy's FWB, and felt betrayed to find out my buddy was sleeping with her.
We basically brought this incident to "Friend Court". All four of us had a trial and really gave our friend a piece of our mind. He was way out of line to be so upset about a secret crush he told nobody about, and a crush on a girl he had no exclusive "dibs" on.
#21
One of our friends got hooked on d***s and ended up [ending] his ex wife, one of our other friends. It was devastating.
#22
I was the incident. I was dating a guy who was part of a group of three best friends. I became friends with one of his best friends (best friend #2). The guy I was dating started to become a real jerk, so we broke up. I leaned on best friend #2 during this time and our friendship really bloomed. Welp, we fell in love. Douche-guy accused us of having cheated, turned best friend #3 against us, and the trio became a duo. It’s been a decade… best friend #2 (now Husband) says I was worth it.
#23
My friend A was clearly not mentally well and became obsessed with friend B. A was always going to B's house, and always calling and texting. It got to be a bit much and B wanted distance but A couldn't take the hint. A got a little crazy and B ended up needing a restraining order.
I was still close friends with both of them for a while after that but it kind of demolished our large friend group. That all went down about 14 years ago. Last I heard, A got help and got her s**t under control. I think they even made up at some point.
#24
We all worked at a popular fast food restaurant together. “A” was a shift manager at my location married to “D,” another shift manager at a different location of the same restaurant. “A” cheated on “D” with “M,” breaking “D’s” heart and causing her to quit her job and spiral down a very dark path very quickly. “D” abruptly moved out with only the clothes on her back and after about 6 months or so, finally decided she needed to go back home to go get all her stuff she left behind. On the way back to her old house where “A” still lived, “D” died in a car crash. This happened 6 years ago and I’m still not on speaking terms with “A” nor “M.”.
#25
I dropped a whole social group and family members after my ex girlfriend cheated with another friend from the group . He actually lived with my cousin and my cousin decided not to tell me until the last minute.
So i dropped everyone, moved to a different city and dont speak to any of them
I havent spoke to my cousin or my aunt since.
#26
The couple that had brought us all together got divorced.
#27
God, it's so embarrassing. Twilight came out when i was in middle school or so. One of my then friends, Friend A, had the book but didn't want to loan (I was very poor and the library didn't have it) it to me because "it's her thing." Another one of my friends loaned me her copy instead. The other friend threw a tantrum. Kept it up for weeks. The group split in two.
Those who thought I shouldn't have bother to read the book even though I read books like they were water to avoid making Friend A mad and those who thought the Friend A was childish for thinking she owned the rights to reading a book released to the public and could prevent others from reading it.
My sister nearly got into a fist fight with Friend A over it for treating me so poorly.
Myoviridae 2 months ago
Over a book??? It is a poorly-written book, but you should always encourage people to read books.
#28
Had a short lived fling with a girl in my old friend group and I called it off because she was going around telling people very personal things I said in confidence about me and my mental health (that had literally nothing to do with her). I was drinking at home one night with my roommates and she stopped by (she was friends with my roommates before and after all this.
I decide in my very drunk state in a moment of clarity that A: I didn't want to be around this woman, and B: I didn't want to say anything I'd later regret, and C: It's for the best I just grab a glass of water and go to sleep.
As I'm just falling asleep, booze hitting me pretty hard, my bedroom door opens and the woman says she just wants to talk. In increasingly impolite and even hostile tones, I keep telling her to please leave, leave now, get the f**k out, I don't want to talk to you, I'm drunk just leave me the f**k alone, and then passed out. She decided it was okay to spend the night in my bed even though she was repeatedly told I didn't want her there, she was perfectly sober and I definitely wasn't, and she could've gone back upstairs or gone home any time she wanted.
I was livid, I was extremely angry, I went ballistic and called her out for her disgusting behavior and told her I never wanted to see her again.
But apparently, I was the bad guy in all this, except for two out of like a dozen people who remained friends with me after this. .
#29
I liked my friend (A), and I eventually told her. I was sure she felt the same about me, She said she didn't. We stay friends and continue on like that conversation never happened.
A few months later, I meet a girl (J)and start dating her. My friend (A) apparently did like me, and was now jealous. A Starts stalking J on Facebook and sends weird messages to my GF. Thinks like asking what it's like dating me, are we really dating or are we just sleeping together, how am I in bed. I ask A about it and she lies saying that she didn't send my GF anything. I tell her I'm currently looking at the messages and she loses her s**t and I block her. I haven't seen A or talked to her since then.
She starts talking s**t about me to our mutual friend (D) who believes her. D also friends with J. His roommate S (also a friend) stands up for me but D gets mad at S saying she's just standing up for me to make him mad, and then he moves out.
I lost friendships with A. D lost friendships with J, A, S, and myself. D eventually saw the truth, but it just wasn't the same anymore. My friendship with D started in elementary school with a mutual friend, and we lived a block away from eachother. We literally grew up together, at that point we had been friends for over half our lives. And it was all gone in a day.
#30
I discovered, after a few too many inconsistencies in stories told, that one of the group was wanted by the state police for mail fraud, and had been using an assumed name with us. I wound up getting a copy of her priors along with a mugshot, and sent it out to everyone at once. A few months later we found a story about her arrest.
What do you think ?
James016 2 months ago
All the people I am friends with I have know for about 30 years. One of them since I was 4, I am now 47.
Papa 2 months ago
I have three people I consider good friends. I've been friends with one of them since I was about 25, one since I was 8, and the other one a little longer. I'm 63 now.
Load More Replies...
cherry~ 2 months ago
Four friends (all online, we met through online chess). Basically one friend and her two mutual friends that she introduced to me. There was one friend that never trusted me. She went behind my back multiple times, and sometimes to my face, to warn others not to trust me (which, tbf, I did have mental health issues, so maybe I deserved it.) The real problem though was when I tried to tell her about how her best friend had been grooming me for half a year and she tried to pull the "boys will be boys, maybe you wanted it" on me - literally two months after she wrote her (now famous) article on sexual harassment and grooming and how it wasn't okay. I eventually did show her the screenshots and she apologized and even went so far as to help me when I was speaking out about my personal experiences (and she blocked the other guy.) I really thought us three would be close again now that we no longer had unrealistic expectations. Never happened though, and IDK why.
cherry~ 2 months ago
(I would like to clarify that I don't blame her for not talking much anymore. She has her own life, and I admittedly was a pretty terrible friend as the routine cheating accusations had driven me nearly crazy and I would type things that I should never have done. I did apologize afterward, but it seemed that we just never really got to be anything more than acquaintances. As for the other guy, he has been the nicest human being ever, but we just don't talk as much due to both of us being busy nowadays.)
Load More Replies... Carl Roberts 2 months ago
Small circle of friends. Some of us had been friends for decades. We took vacations together, supported each other in times of need, I was a pallbearer when both of my former best friend's parents passed (not at the same time). We formed a softball team together. One day, my phone wasn't working and I asked to borrow former best friend's phone to make a call. He forgot to close what he was doing on his phone. I stood in shock for a moment, showed what I had found to the others. Former best friend went to use the bathroom, we tossed his phone in the trash, packed everything up and quickly left him there by himself. The entire circle drifted apart after that. What was it that caused all this? Former best friend of 35 years was looking at images of child porn.
Emmy S. 2 months ago
My incident: A friend, we’ll call her Erren, wanted another friend (who we will call Katie) to herself. Completely. So Erren systematically cuts off all of our mutual friends (all of my friends except 2 actually) from me, telling them as to how bad of a friend I am. Which I get I have faults but jfc. Anyways, she succeeds. Erren is Katie’s only friend, and has completely sent me into a depressive spiral. Then Erren comes back (the only one) and pretends like she’s all chummy with me and knows that I’m lonely (2 friends out of 20 is a massive loss btw) and she gives me the “it’s okay that you were a bad friend, I forgive you and I’m so sorry everyone else can’t move on [from the things I spread about you]” So yeah.. just venting, sorry lol
Aerial (Any pronouns/Canadian/Jewish) 2 months ago
In junior high, my friend circle expanded from one person (my best friend, she's still awesome) to four. It was great for a while, and then I went to Toronto to celebrate a holiday with my mom's family. My cat had been put down the day before we flew out, so I was already feeling kind of bad. We were there for a week, and in that time, two of my friends got into an argument, which split the group in half, one person each taking the side of one of the others. (So there were two sides happening) At this point, I had no idea what to do, and I wasn't even in the same time zone as them, so I couldn't do anything. Two people ended up leaving the group chat, and about a year later, I found out that the person my bestie had sided with was also in a hate chat about said bestie. So she got dropped after that. I still talk to two of them, my best friend and the person who got called annoying by the ex-friend.
James016 2 months ago
All the people I am friends with I have know for about 30 years. One of them since I was 4, I am now 47.
Papa 2 months ago
I have three people I consider good friends. I've been friends with one of them since I was about 25, one since I was 8, and the other one a little longer. I'm 63 now.
Load More Replies... cherry~ 2 months ago
Four friends (all online, we met through online chess). Basically one friend and her two mutual friends that she introduced to me. There was one friend that never trusted me. She went behind my back multiple times, and sometimes to my face, to warn others not to trust me (which, tbf, I did have mental health issues, so maybe I deserved it.) The real problem though was when I tried to tell her about how her best friend had been grooming me for half a year and she tried to pull the "boys will be boys, maybe you wanted it" on me - literally two months after she wrote her (now famous) article on sexual harassment and grooming and how it wasn't okay. I eventually did show her the screenshots and she apologized and even went so far as to help me when I was speaking out about my personal experiences (and she blocked the other guy.) I really thought us three would be close again now that we no longer had unrealistic expectations. Never happened though, and IDK why.
cherry~ 2 months ago
(I would like to clarify that I don't blame her for not talking much anymore. She has her own life, and I admittedly was a pretty terrible friend as the routine cheating accusations had driven me nearly crazy and I would type things that I should never have done. I did apologize afterward, but it seemed that we just never really got to be anything more than acquaintances. As for the other guy, he has been the nicest human being ever, but we just don't talk as much due to both of us being busy nowadays.)
Load More Replies... Carl Roberts 2 months ago
Small circle of friends. Some of us had been friends for decades. We took vacations together, supported each other in times of need, I was a pallbearer when both of my former best friend's parents passed (not at the same time). We formed a softball team together. One day, my phone wasn't working and I asked to borrow former best friend's phone to make a call. He forgot to close what he was doing on his phone. I stood in shock for a moment, showed what I had found to the others. Former best friend went to use the bathroom, we tossed his phone in the trash, packed everything up and quickly left him there by himself. The entire circle drifted apart after that. What was it that caused all this? Former best friend of 35 years was looking at images of child porn.
Emmy S. 2 months ago
My incident: A friend, we’ll call her Erren, wanted another friend (who we will call Katie) to herself. Completely. So Erren systematically cuts off all of our mutual friends (all of my friends except 2 actually) from me, telling them as to how bad of a friend I am. Which I get I have faults but jfc. Anyways, she succeeds. Erren is Katie’s only friend, and has completely sent me into a depressive spiral. Then Erren comes back (the only one) and pretends like she’s all chummy with me and knows that I’m lonely (2 friends out of 20 is a massive loss btw) and she gives me the “it’s okay that you were a bad friend, I forgive you and I’m so sorry everyone else can’t move on [from the things I spread about you]” So yeah.. just venting, sorry lol
Aerial (Any pronouns/Canadian/Jewish) 2 months ago
In junior high, my friend circle expanded from one person (my best friend, she's still awesome) to four. It was great for a while, and then I went to Toronto to celebrate a holiday with my mom's family. My cat had been put down the day before we flew out, so I was already feeling kind of bad. We were there for a week, and in that time, two of my friends got into an argument, which split the group in half, one person each taking the side of one of the others. (So there were two sides happening) At this point, I had no idea what to do, and I wasn't even in the same time zone as them, so I couldn't do anything. Two people ended up leaving the group chat, and about a year later, I found out that the person my bestie had sided with was also in a hate chat about said bestie. So she got dropped after that. I still talk to two of them, my best friend and the person who got called annoying by the ex-friend.
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