
Mom Turns Friend Group Into Her Daughter’s Personal Fan Club, Shocked When They Walk Away
One, often overlooked difficulty of being an adult is scheduling things with your other adult friends. People have families, jobs, responsibilities, doctor’s appointments and vacations, if they are lucky. So when someone ends up ruining the planned get together, there is a lot of potential for drama.
A woman wondered if she was wrong to call out a friend who kept bringing her seven year old daughter to their spa days. As it turns out, it can be hard to have normal, adult conversations around a child and the spa staff weren’t exactly willing to suddenly do a double shift as babysitters.
Some parents will skip getting a babysitter and just bring their kids everywhere
Image credits: kikea3 / Envato (not the actual photo)
So one woman asked for advice when her friend would even bring her 7 year old to the spa
Image credits: puhimec / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: shapoval08 / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Senuousnotsensuous
A certain kind of parent thinks their child is so special that everyone must love being around them
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
Some parents insist on bringing their kids everywhere, regardless of whether the setting is appropriate, because they believe that parenting should not come with limitations. While there is nothing wrong with including children in daily life, this mindset can sometimes overlook the fact that not every environment is designed for young kids and not every social gathering needs to accommodate them, even if the friends are ostensibly ok with a child being around in other settings.
Sometimes this is just the result of a certain kind of entitlement, or just the feeling that their kids are special and unlike everyone else’s loud and, possibly, obnoxious offspring. One reason parents take their kids everywhere is a belief that children should be fully integrated into all aspects of life, rather than left at home with a babysitter. Some genuinely feel that excluding their kids from certain events would be unfair or that parenting means never being apart from them.
Others may simply not trust anyone else to watch their children, whether due to personal anxiety or a lack of reliable childcare. While these are understandable concerns, they can sometimes result in situations where children are brought into spaces that are neither kid-friendly nor enjoyable for anyone involved.
There is also an element of entitlement that plays into this behavior. Some parents expect the world to adjust to their children rather than acknowledging that some places, fine dining restaurants, weddings, adult social gatherings or, obviously, spa sessions are not ideal for kids. When a child disrupts the atmosphere with crying, running around, or needing constant attention, it can take away from the experience for others. The assumption that everyone should be willing to tolerate this, regardless of the occasion, can come across as inconsiderate.
Children do not benefit from being in certain situations
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
What makes this especially frustrating is that it often puts both the child and everyone else in an uncomfortable situation. Kids get bored, restless, or overwhelmed in settings that are not designed for them, leading to behavior that parents then struggle to control. At the same time, other guests are forced to either endure the disruption or risk being seen as rude if they express frustration. It creates a situation where no one is truly happy, all because Emily refuses to acknowledge that not every space needs to be a family-friendly one.
While parenting is a full-time job, part of that responsibility includes recognizing when a child’s presence is appropriate and when it is better to leave them at home. Respecting the environment and the people around them goes a long way in ensuring that social settings remain enjoyable for everyone, rather than turning into a battle between parental priorities and common courtesy. Unfortunately, no one has seemed to tell this to Emily.
Of course, this story demonstrates exactly what can happen. The entitled parent drags their kid to a place where, surprise surprise, there is nothing for them to do and now it needs to be looked after. Babysitting is a paid profession, you can not expect random employees at a spa to suddenly do it for free.
Even worse, Emily is also ruining the experience for her friends. A spa, lest we forget, is supposed to be an enjoyable experience, a place to relax. Having to help one’s friend with the mess she caused is anything but relaxing. Importantly, as stated previously, just finding the time and energy for these sorts of get togethers can be tiring. Emily ruining it because she insists on having her daughter along is selfish at best. It’s a lot to expect your friends to be ok with your kid being around, particularly in a setting like this.
She gave a bit more information later
Readers had some choice words for Emily
Poll Question
Should parents compromise on their social life to accommodate parenting limitations?
Yes, it's a part of parenting
No, social life should remain unchanged
It depends on personal circumstances
Flexible balance is key
Emily was told, still tried it on, then found out it didn't work. Stop listening to her whining that it didn't work.
Found out her friends were not wrong when even the spa validated them by telling her she couldn’t bring her child in with her.
Load More Replies...I don’t think she “found” anything out since she thought the spa people were in the wrong 🙄
not only that her plan was to force the others to babysit while they were at a spa they paid so she could "have her massage"
OMG Milly is going to be a HORRIBLE teenager if Emily doesn't deal with this right now!
She won't be a pleasant adult for others to deal with either.
Load More Replies...child abuse is never okay. It is entirely possible to parent children properly without it. Source: me and my siblings.
Emily is raising Milly to be a spoiled brat that can't ever handle being told NO.
Other concerns: the mother admires her 7-year-old daughter for monopolizing the conversation; allows her to express her views without challenging them (which one can do gently); praises her for being "mature" (no, being the centre of attention is not a sign of maturity). In giving in to her daughter's tantrums, she's isolated both of them.
I agree that both Emily and Milly need therapy. No way of knowing how Milly handles being separated from her mother when she has to go to school, but their dynamic is extremely unhealthy for both of them. If neither one can tolerate being separated, things are obviously not good, and the future is very unpleasant indeed. They both cry when they can't be together? WTF?
Yes. This reminded me of a family member that has a daughter and then 13 years later had a son. I think she had postpartum depression with the son and never got over it. She kept him completely sheltered and barely ever even left the house with him, well into elementary school age.
Also what 7 year old enjoys hanging out with adults at adult activities? Whenever I want to bring my daughter to anything her first question is always "will there be other kids?"
I was one of those kids. We used to live in a place with very few children in my formative years and my parents were pretty weird in as far as pretty much *everything* had to be a learning opportunity and was always expected to "act smart" (as in act like an adult). Made me into a massive nerd who was really struggling with socialising with my own peers. To this day, I'm struggling with small talk and "normal", non-nerdy conversations. Makes for one hell of a social life.
It seems like Emily is too attached to her child and that’s why she doesn’t want to leave her alone. But that doesn’t excuse her blatant disregard for the group’s no kids event. Both mom and kid would benefit from therapy
Oof. I have a good friend who can’t seem to say “no” to his daughter. And yeah, that 9 year old kid is annoying as hell to be around. I am also sad for her because she will have a hell of a time keeping friends and wont be able to understand that she is the problem :(
I can’t tell is Milly truly wants to go everywhere with her mom, or Emily can’t leave her, or both. How do they cope with being separated for school, or a sleepover at friends?
So ridiculous when people put their kids on other adults when they get together. Emily pushed the boundaries and you were left with no choice. Move on and keep enjoying your outings without them. It's obvious that her daughter is in charge.
I recently had plans with friends (myself and 3 couples) for an adult night at a nice restaurant. One couple has three kids. I'm divorced and share custody of our two kids, and it was intentionally set on a weekend where my ex had the kids. Unfortunately, one of my kids got contagiously sick, so I kept the other child in order to reduce chances of them catching the illness. I told my friends several days ahead that I would have to cancel. My friends responded by saying we could try to add my child to the reservation. As a parent, sometimes, we have to give up our adult time and respect when other want to have theirs. I would have been fine with missing the dinner. I actually didn't even suggest that we include my child. They offered. IMO, we all handled it like proper adults. I tried to back out to keep it as an adult event. My friends used their right to choose for themselves to include my child. We had a fun evening without any conflict.
They each need therapy, separately and together. It's pretty clear that neither one can handle being separated. What does Milly do when she has to go to school? Surely Emily doesn't go too! Does Milly spend ANY time alone? Or with her father? They need to address this now, including the father, or the future is going to be increasingly unpleasant. They BOTH cry when they're separated? WTF?
Either don't invite her at all or you have to specifically say every time that it's adults ONLY and enforce it.
She's one of those parents that can't say no to their kid and expects everyone to go along with it
I don't have children, I don't want children and I don't like children. But why are people saying you can't bring a child to a spa? A few weeks ago I spent some days atba spa with a friend, and on the last day her husband and 1,5 year old daughter joined us. No problem at all.
Spa's are for relaxing. Ever been to a pool freely accessible for kids; well forget the relaxing. It will be jumping in the water and screaming all over the place. I've never been to spa were they allowed younger kids (<14).
Load More Replies...We have spas that are more family oriented and only ask you don't bring kids that are not yet potty trained and others (usually more pricey ones) that don't allow anyone under 16. You need to check before, I have kids and have taken them to spas before but it's not the same as an adult day out. Edit: Screaming and splashing are a no go at the family oriented as well. Take the kids to a swimming pool or waterpark for that.
Most spas have age limits- there are usually a few (in a big city) that do have kids, but it's usually very specific to kids. Treatments are for them (usually shorter and no chemical things) and the food is more kid friendly. They're usually booked for birthday parties or Mother's Day or something like that as a special thing to do. But you don't go to those places expecting to relax.
I don't know why you're getting downvoted. I had the same question... Where I'm from it's normal to see a few kids in the spa? But then I checked and most places do have regulations, no kids under 12 or 14. Guess I never paid attention to their ages... ETA seems like people don't understand the difference between can't and shouldn't, maybe?
Emily was told, still tried it on, then found out it didn't work. Stop listening to her whining that it didn't work.
Found out her friends were not wrong when even the spa validated them by telling her she couldn’t bring her child in with her.
Load More Replies...I don’t think she “found” anything out since she thought the spa people were in the wrong 🙄
not only that her plan was to force the others to babysit while they were at a spa they paid so she could "have her massage"
OMG Milly is going to be a HORRIBLE teenager if Emily doesn't deal with this right now!
She won't be a pleasant adult for others to deal with either.
Load More Replies...child abuse is never okay. It is entirely possible to parent children properly without it. Source: me and my siblings.
Emily is raising Milly to be a spoiled brat that can't ever handle being told NO.
Other concerns: the mother admires her 7-year-old daughter for monopolizing the conversation; allows her to express her views without challenging them (which one can do gently); praises her for being "mature" (no, being the centre of attention is not a sign of maturity). In giving in to her daughter's tantrums, she's isolated both of them.
I agree that both Emily and Milly need therapy. No way of knowing how Milly handles being separated from her mother when she has to go to school, but their dynamic is extremely unhealthy for both of them. If neither one can tolerate being separated, things are obviously not good, and the future is very unpleasant indeed. They both cry when they can't be together? WTF?
Yes. This reminded me of a family member that has a daughter and then 13 years later had a son. I think she had postpartum depression with the son and never got over it. She kept him completely sheltered and barely ever even left the house with him, well into elementary school age.
Also what 7 year old enjoys hanging out with adults at adult activities? Whenever I want to bring my daughter to anything her first question is always "will there be other kids?"
I was one of those kids. We used to live in a place with very few children in my formative years and my parents were pretty weird in as far as pretty much *everything* had to be a learning opportunity and was always expected to "act smart" (as in act like an adult). Made me into a massive nerd who was really struggling with socialising with my own peers. To this day, I'm struggling with small talk and "normal", non-nerdy conversations. Makes for one hell of a social life.
It seems like Emily is too attached to her child and that’s why she doesn’t want to leave her alone. But that doesn’t excuse her blatant disregard for the group’s no kids event. Both mom and kid would benefit from therapy
Oof. I have a good friend who can’t seem to say “no” to his daughter. And yeah, that 9 year old kid is annoying as hell to be around. I am also sad for her because she will have a hell of a time keeping friends and wont be able to understand that she is the problem :(
I can’t tell is Milly truly wants to go everywhere with her mom, or Emily can’t leave her, or both. How do they cope with being separated for school, or a sleepover at friends?
So ridiculous when people put their kids on other adults when they get together. Emily pushed the boundaries and you were left with no choice. Move on and keep enjoying your outings without them. It's obvious that her daughter is in charge.
I recently had plans with friends (myself and 3 couples) for an adult night at a nice restaurant. One couple has three kids. I'm divorced and share custody of our two kids, and it was intentionally set on a weekend where my ex had the kids. Unfortunately, one of my kids got contagiously sick, so I kept the other child in order to reduce chances of them catching the illness. I told my friends several days ahead that I would have to cancel. My friends responded by saying we could try to add my child to the reservation. As a parent, sometimes, we have to give up our adult time and respect when other want to have theirs. I would have been fine with missing the dinner. I actually didn't even suggest that we include my child. They offered. IMO, we all handled it like proper adults. I tried to back out to keep it as an adult event. My friends used their right to choose for themselves to include my child. We had a fun evening without any conflict.
They each need therapy, separately and together. It's pretty clear that neither one can handle being separated. What does Milly do when she has to go to school? Surely Emily doesn't go too! Does Milly spend ANY time alone? Or with her father? They need to address this now, including the father, or the future is going to be increasingly unpleasant. They BOTH cry when they're separated? WTF?
Either don't invite her at all or you have to specifically say every time that it's adults ONLY and enforce it.
She's one of those parents that can't say no to their kid and expects everyone to go along with it
I don't have children, I don't want children and I don't like children. But why are people saying you can't bring a child to a spa? A few weeks ago I spent some days atba spa with a friend, and on the last day her husband and 1,5 year old daughter joined us. No problem at all.
Spa's are for relaxing. Ever been to a pool freely accessible for kids; well forget the relaxing. It will be jumping in the water and screaming all over the place. I've never been to spa were they allowed younger kids (<14).
Load More Replies...We have spas that are more family oriented and only ask you don't bring kids that are not yet potty trained and others (usually more pricey ones) that don't allow anyone under 16. You need to check before, I have kids and have taken them to spas before but it's not the same as an adult day out. Edit: Screaming and splashing are a no go at the family oriented as well. Take the kids to a swimming pool or waterpark for that.
Most spas have age limits- there are usually a few (in a big city) that do have kids, but it's usually very specific to kids. Treatments are for them (usually shorter and no chemical things) and the food is more kid friendly. They're usually booked for birthday parties or Mother's Day or something like that as a special thing to do. But you don't go to those places expecting to relax.
I don't know why you're getting downvoted. I had the same question... Where I'm from it's normal to see a few kids in the spa? But then I checked and most places do have regulations, no kids under 12 or 14. Guess I never paid attention to their ages... ETA seems like people don't understand the difference between can't and shouldn't, maybe?
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