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Friend Takes Forever To Pay Back $6,000, Is Shocked Woman Won’t Lend Her Any More Money
Our friendships are supposed to be sources of joy, but when money gets involved, things can become complicated.
A woman who goes online by the nickname Goldilock1234 shared her experience with this dilemma on the family and lifestyle forum Mumsnet, under the Am I Being Unreasonable category.
The single mom recently received additional funds and gave her friend a substantial sum to cover an urgent mortgage payment. But as time passed, the friend didn’t seem to be interested in returning the loan.
RELATED:
This woman was contacted by her friend, asking to borrow money for a mortgage payment
Image credits: Ave Calvar (not the actual photo)
However, when the friend got back on her feet, she chose to go on expensive trips and buy a new car instead of repaying what she owed
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Image source: Goldilock1234
As this experience illustrates, money is a known destroyer of friendships
Earlier this year, Bread Financial, a financial services company providing payment, lending, and saving solutions, conducted a study and discovered that lending money to friends can, indeed, come at a high cost.
More than half (57%) of respondents reported borrowing money from friends at some point, with bills being the most common reason at 63%.
However, nearly a third (30%) of these borrowers also admitted they have never repaid their friends. This often leads to friction in friendships, with 33% of respondents indicating that repeated borrowing without repayment was a top driver of relationship tension.
Among the most interesting findings, 21% of the 1,670 people surveyed have lost a friendship over money, and 26% feel they are financially incompatible with their friends.
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle (not the actual photo)
Lending money to friends and family can unite people in times of hardship, but as we just read, it can also complicate relationships, largely because “so much of our financial decisions involve emotions,” says Michelle Singletary, author of a number of books on money management, including What to Do With Your Money When Crisis Hits: A Survival Guide.
We have to be able to say no to people in these situations.
“You cannot potentially sink your own ship to bail out someone else,” Aja Evans, a board-certified therapist who specializes in financial therapy, tells CNBC Make It.
That’s not to say having that conversation is easy. Close friends or family members, Evans says, may be aware of the things you’re spending money on, like clothes or vacations, and make judgments about what they believe you can or can’t afford.
But no one knows your money better than you. “Just because you have it in your account doesn’t mean you can give it,” she adds. “Especially if you know other bills are coming.”
People were really supportive of the woman
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What do you think ?
Traveling Lady Railfan 1 month ago
You are extremely lucky that you got the 6K back the first time. Extremely. I was expecting to hear that you didn't get it back. "When someone shows you who they really are, believe them." Cut the friendship, it is not strong, it is a friendship of convenience. Her convenience. It doesn't matter that you have the money in your account, it's not spare money. You need it. And she would not be there to lend it to you at a moment's notice if you had an emergency. You are not responsible for other people's lives. Is it possibility you might get the money back again but you'd have to hound her and hound her and it's not fair to you for the extra stress. You are not a bank. Just be done with her.
Ms.GB 1 month ago
I did this before when I was younger. Lent my friend hundreds of dollars because she said she needed money for rent and food. Then I saw she got her nails done, my other friend told me she bought her unemployed husband a bunch of weed. She would ask everyone for money saying she needed this or that for her son and never pay it back. My friend once bought her groceries and brought them over because she said she needed money for food and her fridge was full. Anyway I never got my money back and the last I heard from her she made a Facebook post that she was mad I didn't invite her to my wedding.
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Schnitzel 1 month ago
We've gone over this here on BP, yes? Do NOT lend money unless you are comfortable not getting it back. Period.
ॐBoyGanesh 1 month ago
Unless you’re OP and an absolute pushover incapable of saying “no” and too worried about a fiscally irresponsible friend’s opinion of you. But you’re right, don’t loan money with expectations of getting repaid. Equally important, don’t allow people who are bad with money to make it your problem.
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Joe Reaves 1 month ago
Hell no. I could see feeling guilty if the friend was spending it all on utilities and food and such, but she's just bad with money and spending it on things the OP has never been able to indulge in.
Traveling Lady Railfan 1 month ago
You are extremely lucky that you got the 6K back the first time. Extremely. I was expecting to hear that you didn't get it back. "When someone shows you who they really are, believe them." Cut the friendship, it is not strong, it is a friendship of convenience. Her convenience. It doesn't matter that you have the money in your account, it's not spare money. You need it. And she would not be there to lend it to you at a moment's notice if you had an emergency. You are not responsible for other people's lives. Is it possibility you might get the money back again but you'd have to hound her and hound her and it's not fair to you for the extra stress. You are not a bank. Just be done with her.
Ms.GB 1 month ago
I did this before when I was younger. Lent my friend hundreds of dollars because she said she needed money for rent and food. Then I saw she got her nails done, my other friend told me she bought her unemployed husband a bunch of weed. She would ask everyone for money saying she needed this or that for her son and never pay it back. My friend once bought her groceries and brought them over because she said she needed money for food and her fridge was full. Anyway I never got my money back and the last I heard from her she made a Facebook post that she was mad I didn't invite her to my wedding.
Load More Replies... Schnitzel 1 month ago
We've gone over this here on BP, yes? Do NOT lend money unless you are comfortable not getting it back. Period.
ॐBoyGanesh 1 month ago
Unless you’re OP and an absolute pushover incapable of saying “no” and too worried about a fiscally irresponsible friend’s opinion of you. But you’re right, don’t loan money with expectations of getting repaid. Equally important, don’t allow people who are bad with money to make it your problem.
Load More Replies... Joe Reaves 1 month ago
Hell no. I could see feeling guilty if the friend was spending it all on utilities and food and such, but she's just bad with money and spending it on things the OP has never been able to indulge in.
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