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Okay, so, first things first - we love French culture and the people. However, that doesn’t mean that we also don’t love to crack a funny joke or two about them! Just the same as we would about any other country and all in good spirit. And, if you agree that eating frog legs or having such a fixation on baked goods calls for an innocent joke or two - you’ve come to the right place. That’s right, this is our selection of French jokes, and it is totally tres bien if you find them hilariously amusing!

So, we guess the main thing that evokes a joke associated with any culture other than ours - in this case, it is jokes about the French - are the cultural differences. And how do people deal with something they do not entirely understand, but also don’t find threatening in any way? Why, they try to make the situation fun, and that’s where these funny French jokes fall. See, it isn’t about stereotypes, but rather trying to understand our differences and appreciating them in the process.

Right, so it is probably just about the time to pour yourself a glass of red, grab a baguette, and skip to the funny jokes about France that we’ve rounded up in this list. Once you are done reading them, give the best jokes your vote and share these little witticisms with your Francophile friends!

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante Why do French people eat snails?

Because they don't like fast food.

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#2

A German went to France for a holiday and here is the scene, French border staff: "Occupation?" German: "No, no, no, just visiting."

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#3

Why do the French make omelets with only one egg?

Because in France one egg is un oeuf.

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#4

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante When I was a kid, my parents would always say "Excuse my french" after a swear word. I'll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any french.

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#5

Anyone can use my French Revolution joke. It's royalty-free.

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#6

A wealthy Frenchman was showing off his yachts. “This is un, this is deux, this is trois, this is quatre, this is six…” “What happened to five?” his wife asked. “Cinq” he answered.

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#7

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante What do you call your angry French aunt?

A crossaunt.

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aragornjauncey avatar
cerinamroth
cerinamroth
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The usual American pronunciation of croissant makes my toes curl! (But all is forgiven when I hear one of you say the word "figure" - so lovely.)

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#8

A Frenchman walks into a library and asks the Librarian if he can check out a book about War. The Librarian responds, "No, you'll lose it."

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#9

What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory?

All that was left was de brie.

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derkommissar avatar
Der Kommissar
Der Kommissar
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1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

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#10

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante What would you call the Eiffel Tower if it falls over?

The I Fell Tower!

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#11

What did the baguette say when it was being sliced?

"Ouch! Le pain!"

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#12

What happens when you drink too much water in Paris?

European.

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roybriggs avatar
Roy Briggs
Roy Briggs
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My French prof in middle school used about not pissin' in the piscine

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#13

Did you hear about the crazy person that that fell into the French river?

He was in Seine.

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#14

What do French ducks say?

"Quoi quoi."

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Pascale Pierloot
Pascale Pierloot
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If French ducks said quoi, qoui... It would be because you are Canadian...🤣

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#15

Why should you never joke about French history?

Because it is nothing to Lafayette.

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#16

To kill a French vampire, you have to drive a baguette through its heart.

Sounds easy, but the process is painstaking.

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tallabodian avatar
Talla Bodian
Talla Bodian
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is far better while knowing that baguette means stick in French.

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#17

Why did the French chef kill himself?

He lost his huile d'olive.

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#18

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante What do you call a French guy wearing sandals?

Philippe Philoppe.

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#19

When I was in Paris, I had a terrible accident. Eiffel off a tower.

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#20

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante What do frogs eat in Paris?

French flies.

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#21

What did the loanshark say to the Frenchman who loaned some money?

When you come back, you better have my Monet.

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derkommissar avatar
Der Kommissar
Der Kommissar
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Manet sounds more like "money" than Monet. Ironically, Monet sounds like the word monnaie, which is French for money

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#22

I once thanked a French guy to death.

It was a merci killing.

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#23

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante Are you from Paris?

Because you’re driving me in-Seine.

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#24

I was surprised when I heard about the flooding in Paris. Normally, the water is l’eau.

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#25

How did the French leader Napoleon have fun?

By throwing a Bonapart-y.

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#26

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante What do French fries do when they run into each other?

They ketch-up.

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#27

I asked a French man if he played video games.

He said, “Wii!”

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#28

What did the French husband say when his wife said she will not go and dine with him?

Wine not?

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#29

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante What is the Guillotine?

A French chopping center.

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#30

My girlfriend kept telling me to treat her like a princess. So I made her marry an old guy she's never met to secure an alliance with the French.

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#31

Why do Jihadist Muslims only drink instant coffee?

'Cause they hate the French press.

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#32

Why is the French military always shocked when they lose a battle?

Because electricity flows in the path of *least resistance*.

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#33

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante I went to a cafe in Paris and was insulted by the barista.

It was a regular French roast.

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#34

What do you call The Hunger Games in Paris?

Battle Royale with cheese.

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roybriggs avatar
Roy Briggs
Roy Briggs
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Les concurrents portent tous des portefeuilles estampillés "Bad Motherfu € ker" dessus.

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#35

Did you hear about the small chicken that lived in a Parisian opera house?

It was called the bantam of the opera.

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#36

What did the French friend answer when he was asked to wear a costume for the party?

I will come in dis-Guise.

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#37

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante What would a French dog who loves eating potatoes be called?

A pomme de terrier.

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#38

Why did the tourist want to visit France?

Because it was a beret good time!

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#39

Why do most French tourists end up happy after visiting France?

It is impossible to Rouen the trip.

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#40

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante What did the tourist say when his mother asked if he could visit France again?

Of Corsican!

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#41

What type of breakfast do French people usually prefer?

The breakfast of champignons.

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#42

Why is French onion soup a favorite amongst people in France?

Because it is absolutely soup-er.

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#43

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a Soviet Russian are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. The Frenchman says, "They must be French, they're naked and eating fruit." The Englishman replies, "Clearly they're English. Observe how politely the man is offering the woman the fruit."
The Russian then notes, "They are Russian of course. They have nothing to wear, nothing to eat, and they think they are in paradise."

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derkommissar avatar
Der Kommissar
Der Kommissar
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is my favorite one. But it is a Russian joke, as the punch line is about Russia.

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#44

Why did the French give the statue of liberty to America?

They had no use for a statue with only one hand raised.

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#45

Where does a French cat live?

In Purr-is.

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#46

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante Don’t eat the French fish. It’s poissan.

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#47

What’s the difference between a tick and the Eiffel tower?

Well nothing, after all, they are both Paris sites.

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#48

How did the Paris police find Quasimodo?

They followed a hunch.

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#49

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante Where does a French cat live?

In the Catacombs or in a chat-eau!

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#50

Why do most people love visiting France?

It is a oui bit different!

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#51

What did the tourist's kid say when he saw the Eifel Tower?

I love this French Tour.

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Brett Hughes
Brett Hughes
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Very good - Le Tour is the tower. And by the way, Eiffel is pronounced eefel, so many of these ‘jokes’ are based on bad French which is pretty poor.

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#52

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante Why did the woman hate being alone in a deserted street in France?

Because it gave her the crepes.

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#53

How many French troops does it take to defend Paris?

No one knows.

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Roy Briggs
Roy Briggs
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why are French rifles beat bought preused? They've only dropped once!

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#54

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante Why does everyone love visiting France?

Because it is beautiful in every Cezanne.

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#55

What do people usually say after visiting France?

I ain’t Lyon. I love France.

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#56

What did the wife say to her husband when they bought a new house in France?

I Cannes watch the French Riviera from this view.

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#57

What do people say in France after meeting someone they haven't met in a long long time?

"Our paths will croissant again."

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#58

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante Why do people from all around the globe love eating French food?

Because the taste is brie-ond brie-lief!

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#59

Why do French people simply love their country and cultural heritage?

They think that they are the creme brulee of the crop!

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#60

What is written in the book of the French Constitution?

The d-eclair-ation of man's every right.

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#61

My friend wanted to feel like a princess on her wedding day. So we made her marry a man she never met in order to secure a French alliance.

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joebloe avatar
Joe Bloe
Joe Bloe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You just keep repeating yourself, if anyone bother reading through here.

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#62

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a French fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato. Mrs. Potato said: “I see you eye-balling that French girl!”

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#63

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante What type of photography do French photographers like?

Candide.

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#64

What did the tourist decide after visiting France for the third time?

He wanted to Gauguin.

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#65

What do French people say when they meet new people?

I hope your Degas great!

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#66

What did the mother say to his son when he verbally abused her?

"I can’t believe you have the de Gaulle to say that to my face."

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#67

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante Why do tourists avoid visiting France in summer?

Because it is st-Eifel-ing.

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#68

What did the exasperated Frenchman say when his friend wouldn't keep quiet about France?

Oh for crying out loud! Baguette up about it!

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#69

How many French soldiers does it take to defend Paris?

I don't know, it's never been done.

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#70

Why are the best-used guns from France?

Because they have never been fired, and they have only been dropped once.

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Joe Bloe
Joe Bloe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These France military history meme just show how uneducated people are about military history.

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#71

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante How does one usually feel after visiting France?

Fin-tastic.

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#72

What did the French policeman say after charging the driver for DUI?

"Why were you Rodin your car under influence?"

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#73

What did the French lover say to his wife who was late for work?

"It is time to Hugo to work, mon cherie."

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#74

What did the husband say to his French wife when they were going on a trip?

"How did you Charlemange-age to pack so many things?"

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#75

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante How does a French person greet someone in Americans?

By saying "Welcome to Louis-ville."

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#76

What did the tourist say when he wanted to visit the French museum?

I Musee French art.

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#77

Why do musicians love visiting France?

Because of the good musee-c.

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#78

When the French woman returned home after her trip, what did she say?

I have so much to Marseilles about France.

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#79

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante What is the favorite song that French people love listening to?

"Hey, macaroon-a."

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#80

How do you keep a French person from crashing your party?

Put a sign up that says "no nudity"

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#81

What did the French woman say to the receptionist at the airport?

"I am in great Henri to visit France!"

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#82

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante How did the French woman feel after dressing up for her dinner date?

Very France-y.

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#83

Why do many art critics love to read about French painter, Eugène Delacroix?

They never get Bordeaux-ed about him.

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#84

In France, why does everyone have a confident attitude?

Because they hate Toulouse.

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#85

"Knock knock?"

"Who’s there?"

"French French who?"

"French fries!"

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#86

What did the French friend say when she had to leave after finishing dessert?

"I do not want to leave, but it’s time for me to escargot, I'm afraid."

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#87

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante Why wasn't Jesus born in France?

He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

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#88

Where can you find 60,100,000 French jokes?

In France.

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#89

How do you escape a French prison?

Yell angrily in German.

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#90

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante What seems to be the quietest sports in France?

Para-shooing.

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#91

Why do people barely complain about life in France?

Because they have Nantes-thing to crib about.

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#92

Why do french tanks have rear-view mirrors?

To see the front line.

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#93

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante Who won the first Tour de France?

The 6th Panzer division.

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#94

What do you get if you take off the red dot on the Japanese flag?

The French flag!

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#95

When the US went to the moon they planted the American Flag. After all these years the radiation from the Sun will have bleached it completely white, so now if Aliens find it they are going to think the French were there first.

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#96

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante Why do French tanks have rear windows?

So they can see the battlefield!

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#97

What's the name of the most popular French knight?

Sir Ender.

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#98

I am absolutely exhausted from my French self-defense class.

I've never run so far in my life.

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#99

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante How do you sink an American battleship?

Have the French build it.

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#100

How many gears does a French tank have?

Seven. One forward and six reverse.

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#101

What’s the shortest French book ever written?

"The Complete List Of French War Heroes."

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#102

103 French Jokes That You Might Find Très Charmante What are the two problems with the French flag?

The red bit and the blue bit.

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