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“These Kids Aren’t Trash… But They’re Told To Put Their Clothes In Trash Bags”: Mom Shares What She Does To Make Her Foster Teenage Girls Feel At Home From The First Day
Interview
Being placed in foster care can be a really traumatic experience. Emergency foster care placements last anything from one to several days while social workers are assessing the condition of the family that a child comes from. Many of the people who are in charge of taking care of kids during this uncomfortable and challenging transition make sure that everyone is well-looked after.
This foster mom shared a video on TikTok of how she houses teenage girls coming to stay with with her, and people on the internet are grabbing a box of tissues and getting ready to sigh from witnessing such a special touch. Brittany Burcham posted the viral video where she explains what the first day is like for the children in need of emergency placements coming to her home. Bored Panda connected with Brittany to find out more about being a foster parent.
More info: TikTok
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This is Brittany and she is a foster mom who decided to share her experience of a new placement
Image credits: fostertheteens
Brittany, who is a foster mom in Birmingham, Alabama, houses teenage girls who are placed in protective state custody. As you might imagine, the children who come to Brittany’s place might be going through different uneasy feelings, fear, and confusion. But this is where the foster mom takes an extra leap into making them feel comfortable and welcomed. She creates welcome packages and in her viral video posted on TikTok, she explains everything more in depth.
Her video starts with a ‘Welcome Basket’ that has all the items the foster child might need
Image credits: fostertheteens
The mom’s account on TikTok has over 664.7K followers and her video showing what the first night with a new foster placement for an emergency foster parent is like has over 15M views so far. In the video, Brittany shows the ‘Welcome Basket’ with toiletries, fuzzy socks and anything else that her foster child might need. Often children who are being sent to emergency foster homes are forced to pack very fast, so they might be missing certain items. Brittany makes sure that anything else that the kids might need that is not in the basket is also available.
“I work in hospitality and I also remember my mom having a little welcome basket for me when I came home from college and it always meant so much to know I was welcomed and wanted there. I wanted kids who come into my home to feel the same way. I also wanted to provide them with items that they may have forgotten or could be comforting because many of them come to me when they are removed from their families and I didn’t want them to be uncomfortable asking me for things, so I try to provide anything I think they may need,” shared Brittany.
A local Shake Shack is where Brittany takes the children to grab a bite and get to know each other in a more informal setting
Image credits: fostertheteens
Then they take a walk to a local Shake Shack, as according to Brittany, there is always something that the children can find on the menu that they like. It is also a neutral setting and outside of the house to add another relaxing layer and a good setting to break the ice and get to know each other. Brittany has been licensed since October of 2019 and cared for more than 40 short-term and emergency placements since then.
Brittany makes sure to always offer to do a load of laundry for the kids
Image credits: fostertheteens
Brittany revealed that “The kids are certainly nervous and apprehensive. I’m a stranger and they don’t really know what to expect. Some of them are still dealing with a lot of feelings of hurt and worry. My goal for all of my kids is that they feel welcome, safe and comforted while they are in my home.” For her, this calling is incredibly hard but definitely rewarding: “I feel honored to be a small part of these children’s stories and hopefully, part of their healing. I always wanted to make a difference and I felt called to care for kids, even if they weren’t my own. I’ve realized the difference that one person can make in the life of a child through foster care.”
She explains the process of the first day of emergency foster home herself:
Image credits: fostertheteens
In the evening, she and the kids wind down with some TV while waiting for the ‘lights out’ call to have a good night’s rest. The foster mom’s video has received many compliments and applause for what she is doing and how she’s doing it. Among the people sharing their opinion are people who expressed a will to become foster parents and provide others such a safe space.
Image credits: fostertheteens
Brittany also offers to do the laundry for the children and is strictly against stuff being put in trash bags. She makes sure that each kid gets a duffel bag to take it with them and store their clothes, toiletries, and sentimental things.
Kids are gifted new duffel bags to keep their stuff instead of often used trash bags
Image credits: fostertheteens
And later in the evening, they all watch some TV to relax after an eventful and not the easiest day for the kids
Image credits: fostertheteens
Quite a few grateful comments came from foster kids themselves who had a good experience and some who actually weren’t greeted the same way. Overall, the comment section was abundant with positivity and encouragement as well as evident presence of inspiration from people who want to contribute to the wellbeing of foster children.
Here you can see the TikTok video that was viewed over 15m times, posted by Brittany
@fostertheteens#foster #fostercare #fyp #emergencyfoster #fostering #fostertheteens #fosterparent #nomoretrashbags #comfortcases #MakeMomEpic #IFeelWeightless♬ Outdoors – Colin Tierney
Video credits: fostertheteens
And here are a few comments from people who are foster parents or want to be, and some foster kids themselves
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What do you think ?
spirit wolf 3 years ago
I'll take notes. I will never have children myself but if someday, the world turns topsy turvy and some child might need my assistance, I will remember this.
Billy The Kid 3 years ago (edited)
It is sad to see KIDS living out of bin/trash bags. What this woman is doing is a heart of gold. I have not been there myself but i can imagine the trauma these kids go through. Most are from broken families and for them kids to go from one temporary home to the next is a constant repeated trauma for them to go through. Many a times I have read about these kids going through this and the worst is when they split the siblings up. Reading the comment above from jaxonjodoin having to have a new wardrobe bought for her because her clothes were 4 times smaller is sad. If it wasn't for people like Brittany (who looks so young herself) these kids would be failed and lost. Brittany is a hero in my books and deserves a round of applause!
TheReader19 3 years ago
What a good heart this lady has, my sister is a long term foster carer and it isn't easy for her or her foster son
J Adams 3 years ago
As someone who was adopted the trash bag part really hit home, the amount of times my possessions were scooped up and thrown in a black sack. Belongings are precious to any child let alone those who have very little, just that small gesture of doing away with trash bags shows this lady understands and sees that it is wrong. This lady and people like her really should be celebrated more than they are
HooowlAtTheMoon 3 years ago
I used to have foster brothers/sisters (3 sisters, 2 brothers, we adopted one of the boys out of all those kids) and luckily none of them came from a situation where they brought their stuff in TRASH BAGS (which by the way is absolutely horrible, im so sorry some kids have to do that) but it still makes me sad that kids go like 10 years in foster care. i didn't ever plan on having children before our family started fostering kids but if i ever have the chance to foster a teenager, even if for a short little bit i will gladly do so. this post restored a lot of my faith in humanity
Patti Vance 3 years ago
if you ever have luggage or duffle bags that you are planning to get rid of, please contact your local dept of social services to see if they will accept for this purpose. many depts will accept, along with donated blankets, socks, toiletries. it varies from dept to dept.
Yeah, you heard 3 years ago
It's so sad that kids have to be in foster care. I've looked into adopting (where I live in the UK) and it is SOOOO long and drawn out (~18 months) it's so sad that there are kids needing families, and families wanting kids, but the system forces so many into foster care which can do more harm, making the kids less likely to be adopted.
Carolina Fernández González 3 years ago
Whats an emergency foster parent. What’s the difference with just a foster parent. (We don’t have that system in my country as far as I know)
Chaya Herrebrugh-Wachtmeester 3 years ago
Usually when a child is taken away from the home situation, there isn't a (semi)permanent foster family available. So for the first 12 hours to 3 months they are with an emergency family until there is a more permanent solution. It is supposed to be a safe place in a crisis situation.
Load More Replies...
Lucy Anders 3 years ago
I recently donated several backpacks and small suitcases to my local fostering service. It's worth seeing if there is a charity in your area that deals with this or if your local fostering service can take donations directly.
Oblivian Royale 3 years ago
As a former forster kid i hope that one day the foster system gets fixed for others so they dont have to spend their childhood like I did being seen as something less than human and treated like nothing more than someone who is just a paycheck
Kim Lorton 3 years ago
Thank you! For what you do. You give the gift of self to not only them, but allow them to be themselves and relax safely, for however long. This is so important. Don't do the list of rules right off the bat. Do the person who really cares for kids.
spirit wolf 3 years ago
I'll take notes. I will never have children myself but if someday, the world turns topsy turvy and some child might need my assistance, I will remember this.
Billy The Kid 3 years ago (edited)
It is sad to see KIDS living out of bin/trash bags. What this woman is doing is a heart of gold. I have not been there myself but i can imagine the trauma these kids go through. Most are from broken families and for them kids to go from one temporary home to the next is a constant repeated trauma for them to go through. Many a times I have read about these kids going through this and the worst is when they split the siblings up. Reading the comment above from jaxonjodoin having to have a new wardrobe bought for her because her clothes were 4 times smaller is sad. If it wasn't for people like Brittany (who looks so young herself) these kids would be failed and lost. Brittany is a hero in my books and deserves a round of applause!
TheReader19 3 years ago
What a good heart this lady has, my sister is a long term foster carer and it isn't easy for her or her foster son
J Adams 3 years ago
As someone who was adopted the trash bag part really hit home, the amount of times my possessions were scooped up and thrown in a black sack. Belongings are precious to any child let alone those who have very little, just that small gesture of doing away with trash bags shows this lady understands and sees that it is wrong. This lady and people like her really should be celebrated more than they are
HooowlAtTheMoon 3 years ago
I used to have foster brothers/sisters (3 sisters, 2 brothers, we adopted one of the boys out of all those kids) and luckily none of them came from a situation where they brought their stuff in TRASH BAGS (which by the way is absolutely horrible, im so sorry some kids have to do that) but it still makes me sad that kids go like 10 years in foster care. i didn't ever plan on having children before our family started fostering kids but if i ever have the chance to foster a teenager, even if for a short little bit i will gladly do so. this post restored a lot of my faith in humanity
Patti Vance 3 years ago
if you ever have luggage or duffle bags that you are planning to get rid of, please contact your local dept of social services to see if they will accept for this purpose. many depts will accept, along with donated blankets, socks, toiletries. it varies from dept to dept.
Yeah, you heard 3 years ago
It's so sad that kids have to be in foster care. I've looked into adopting (where I live in the UK) and it is SOOOO long and drawn out (~18 months) it's so sad that there are kids needing families, and families wanting kids, but the system forces so many into foster care which can do more harm, making the kids less likely to be adopted.
Carolina Fernández González 3 years ago
Whats an emergency foster parent. What’s the difference with just a foster parent. (We don’t have that system in my country as far as I know)
Chaya Herrebrugh-Wachtmeester 3 years ago
Usually when a child is taken away from the home situation, there isn't a (semi)permanent foster family available. So for the first 12 hours to 3 months they are with an emergency family until there is a more permanent solution. It is supposed to be a safe place in a crisis situation.
Load More Replies... Lucy Anders 3 years ago
I recently donated several backpacks and small suitcases to my local fostering service. It's worth seeing if there is a charity in your area that deals with this or if your local fostering service can take donations directly.
Oblivian Royale 3 years ago
As a former forster kid i hope that one day the foster system gets fixed for others so they dont have to spend their childhood like I did being seen as something less than human and treated like nothing more than someone who is just a paycheck
Kim Lorton 3 years ago
Thank you! For what you do. You give the gift of self to not only them, but allow them to be themselves and relax safely, for however long. This is so important. Don't do the list of rules right off the bat. Do the person who really cares for kids.
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