My parents were foster parents I was their first foster child they adopted me and believe me they were real parents and soon you will be it not about blood it about love and care you put into this.

You were celebrating having children come into your life! So what if they weren't bio kids. You didn't ask for or act entitled to a gift either. You wanted to share good news. All the haters can pound sand.

My youngest brother is adopted. My mom and I always told my brother than being adopted is BETTER than being a biological child, because adoptive parents have to go out of their way to actively CHOOSE the adopted kid.

I love this idea!!!!!

My best friend's 2 younger siblings are adopted and my parents were planning to adopt when they got pregnant. I love being around kids and want to foster or adopt once I am financially able !

It'd be a difficult decision, and one I would not suggest lightly. I all but cut my family of entirely due to a complete lack of support in anything I set out to do. Obviously, more to it then just that, and it wasn't an easy choice. But, family(dna) isn't chosen, friends are, and you're getting a glimpse of that. I still talk with family, though I moved clear across the states. Is this the only example of no support? Have their narrow mindedness ways shown before? Maybe YOU don't want their narrow minded ways around your children. You do not owe it to them to remain, it took me 50yrs of hell to realize that.

My sister had her two kids by cesarean and has been told by a few family members and people she thought were friends that she wasn't a real mom b/c she didn't deliver naturally and "opted out." It was beautiful to see her haul off on someone once about how her breech baby would have killed them both. I'm not surprised at these dumb comments about the foster moment not being a real mom.

I'm happily childfree and I would have come and supported your decision and celebrated with you. You're willing to give a home to a child who is already in need of one. I think it was hypocritical of yalls families to be upset about a foster and unwilling to assist in any way when I'm sure you have contributed to the their children

I love the idea but think the party should be closer to when the couple gets matched with a child. That way it's more tailored to their specific needs in regards to age appropriate toys, bedding, etc.

....WTF? So, if people have a baby shower it means they couldn't afford to have a child? What is that logic? 🤔 Also, I said this somewhere else, but everyone sure is quick to forget that marriage and babies gets people tax deductions and perks in a lot of countries. There's whole programs dedicated to discounts and benefits for children. I guess no one is a parent if you aren't a parent when you get a stipend/benefit to help raise them, because that's literally everyone.

I've never heard of getting gifts for fostering. Foster parenting is temporary and you get paid, albeit not much, so you're basically a paid employee of the state. Expecting gifts from others for a child you may not have longer than a few months to a year or two and that you're paid to care for seems very entitled. The child is a ward of the state, it's not yours. It can be removed by the state at any time. Behaving as if it's your child is setting yourself up for serious heartache. You'll get attached and then it may go back to its bio parent. And then what? Fostering is not adoption. They are very different things. If you were formally adopting maybe your families would get used to it. Or maybe they never will. used to the idea. Or maybe they never will.

We adopted and because we had no children previously, we were required to foster first in order to "get experience". In the end, we adopted one of our foster children. Going in, we knew that both fostering and adopting "from the system" meant that there was a certain amount of prejudice out there that we weren't "real" parents or that our journey to parenthood was somehow "lesser" than going a biological route. We (and our supportive circle) didn't believe that, but we knew that attitude is subtle and pervasive. It shows up in a lot of little ways from casual language to workplace policies to missing certain milestones. In my case, I would have enjoyed a shower but didn't say anything for fear of stirring up attitudes like the ones the OP experienced. But, my child is better than any shower ever and we had one heckuva adoption party which we funded ourselves and used to raise money for charity. Showers aside, I wish for more people to foster and adopt,

There's a lighter side to this situation: You know exactly who to cut the heck out before bringing your child (yes, YOUR child) into your life. Let the trash take itself out and keep it far away.

If I were in your family, I'd turn up to your shower with bells on. Do those ignorant, wastes of space know that you two were having trouble conceiving? Then if no, slap them with those facts and see how quickly they run, ashamed of their behaviour. And so they should. Their attitude is disrespectful and nasty, and OP you and you husband don't deserve any of it. You'll make great parents and you're doing great bringing a child who needs someone, into your lives. I think you need this child as much as they need you. Go in love. Kia kaha.

My mom didn't birth me. Doesn't mean she's any less of a mother. If I knew about this concept when I was a kid I would have totally asked if we could do this for her.

I was wanting to throw one for my friend when she does it. There is nothing wrong with it. Some people do not understand. Boomers sometimes are out of touch. For one even if they were short on funds, the system is short on people to help kids. Everybody is struggling due to inflation. Love is free.

When we are taken from our parents, I was 8 ish, we aren't able to bring much, if anything. I was met at the city park, my mom and I were homeless. I was handed over with nothing but the clothes on my back. My belongings for the next two years didn't even take up a back pack. Except for the cabbage patch dolls (2) that my birth mom saved up for. I was LOVED! People like this woman's family suck but it's nothing unusual. I never met my one foster mom's husband or family. Not every foster parent sucks but too many do. Celebrate the ones who care. We need them!

They have saved you the trouble of trying to figure out who you and your children should avoid for being undesirable, unacceptable and potentially a nasty mouth to kids behind your back

WTF is this title ? Was it required to call them an "infertile" couple ??

I dont know where the OP is from, but where I am foster parents get more than enough money for the essentials. The friend meant well, but sending out invitations for baby shower was not a great idea. They are not having a baby, and they dont need gifts. A "welcome" party for the kid might have been a better option as it would have celebrated the occasion.