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I was curious to get the redditor's take on how to defend our home from would-be burglars and evildoers of every kind. Here's the advice that they gave Bored Panda: "The best defense is probably not having your house be an easy target to start with. Put up security screens, lock your doors and windows, cut overgrown plants and put up signs like 'beware of the dog'/'security cameras.'" They pointed out that you should probably put these signs up even if you don't own a dog or any cameras.

I also wanted the original poster's opinion about whether or not we should trust the advice of ex-criminals when it comes to security. "That's a tough one," they said. "Being criminals, I would say it's best to take their advice with a grain of salt, but on the other hand who better to ask then the people doing the burgling themselves, the burglars."

What's more, the redditor shared a bit of their experience about staying smart on the streets, especially in areas that aren't as safe. "I have found that generally if you keep to yourself (like not involving yourself or trying to break up in fights) and don't look at shady people, you will be fine."

30 Ex-Burglars Reveal Where You Should Never Hide Your Stuff And Share Other Helpful Tips My husband is so good at hiding things from burglars that there are a number of valuable items that we have never found again. So hiding things is fine, but remembering where you hid them is just as important.

fizzy_sister , Nathan Fertig Report

Final score:

223points

POST

Shanaaia 3 years ago

Typical Squirrel problem

15points

PuzzleBuzzleRuzzle , Samuel Regan-Asante Report

This will get burried, but here we go.

Not a burglar but some broke into my family's house 4 or 5 years ago when we were out on a concert. They checked everything - took all money and jewelry they could find.

Except! My room was a mess to begin with. I left piles of clothes on the floor, my study desk messy af, left piles of papers on both desk and floor (i was in a hurry before we all left and was searching for something I can quite remember now.

Now. I had 800€ and golden earrings on my desk, just sitting there.

The burglars opened the doors... and didn't move a thing. Left my 800€ and golden earrings alone and moved to another room.

From then on I have been using this as an excuse why I don't need to clean up my room.

Final score:

214points

POST

~hUmMuS vIbEs~ 3 years ago

Smort.

44points

The author of the thread, AsleepFondant, shared with Bored Panda that they were caught completely unaware by just how popular their thread was. They had no clue the question would go so viral. In fact, it was the very first time their post on Reddit got so much attention.

"I didn't expect it to blow up at all, I was shocked as that's the first time anything I have ever posted has blown up to that degree," they told me. They joked that they wish they'd posted the question on their main Reddit account, considering how much people liked it.

30 Ex-Burglars Reveal Where You Should Never Hide Your Stuff And Share Other Helpful Tips Former crime reporter here. Tampon box and kitty litter are good. I've also seen false outlets that are safe as a safe.

I don't think burglars are the best folks to ask. Check with drug dealers, they're the best at hiding stuff.

DJGlennW , Litter Robot Report

Final score:

202points

POST

Grant Barke 3 years ago

Drug dealers? I'm not hiding stuff in my a**e and that's final.

137points

Also side note, I use to do door to door sales for ADT... people would let me in the house and just tell me where all the important stuff was before even verifying I was legit..... don’t do that.

Mybigbrowntitties , Pixabay Report

Final score:

185points

POST

Dill 3 years ago

Not going to let you in the house full stop. Sorry door to door sales people but I'm not going to buy from you. I have CCTV and see you with your clipboard/badge/whatever and that's enough to stop me answering the door.

60points

ImAlwaysRightHanded , Annie Spratt Report

Had my house burglarized by a so-called friend. He missed by far the most valuable thing. it’s just a safe sitting on the laundry room floor. He missed it because I’m a scumbag and had it covered with a mountain of dirty clothes and towels. So not being tidy saved me upwards of $35K.

Final score:

161points

POST

H Edwards 3 years ago

Burglarize is the most ridiculous word

55points

It’s not just burglars that we should watch out for. We also have to be aware of how safe we are online. After all, online shopping scams and swindles can be someone’s way to worm themselves into your wallet or to get private information.

Earlier, I’d reached out to the moderator team that manages the r/Scams subreddit for a few comments about online safety. According to one of the mods, online scams are a very different beast than real-life swindles.

"I think online shopping scams are different because you lose that layer of dealing with a real-life person. When you have a real person in front of you, a typical person will feel shame or guilt at the thought of taking advantage of a person,” they told Bored Panda.

Your shed. Seriously. LOCK YOUR SHED. Even if your house is well-locked, if your shed isn't, I likely have access to a plethora of tools I can use to gain access.

AlphaTangoFoxtrt , Tanner Vote Report

Final score:

158points

POST

cybermerlin2000 3 years ago

I know it sounds daft but bolt the walls down in each corner into concrete sunk into the ground. My dad scared off a burglar who had managed to lift the corner of his shed off the floor it was nailed to in order to get in

31points

Fun fact - aunt died, and had valuables hidden throughout the house. She was a cranky old cur, the one who had a ton of dough, no offspring, didn't donate, and thought she could take it with her. Well, hell. When she died, I helped out my elderly parents clean out her place. Instead of just being able to throw away the junk and pile up the clothes and other items to donation centers, we had to rifle through every pocket, every damn planter, pot and pan, etc. It was sort of fun, but took a hell of a long time. From what I recall, there was a few hundred bucks inside a few planters, 4.5k in the bottom part of an unused planter, under some little foam brick you stick fake flowers into, that was tucked way in the back of a cabinet, jewelry stashed in the arm of a leather couch, more money in some sewing drawer, a few hundred bucks in several jackets, etc. I took forever to go through every goddamn pocket, sock, drawer, container of nails and buttons, etc. Gotta admit, sorta fun as well. She never told any of us that she had money hidden. My mother just had a hunch.

TheSecretofBog , Alexander Mils Report

Final score:

158points

POST

Grant Barke 3 years ago

She left you a fun treasure hunt. So nice of her.

98points

Any safe that's not bolted down and is small enough for 1-2 people to carry isn't safe at all.

RallyX26 , William Murphy Report

Final score:

147points

POST

Grumble O'Pug 3 years ago

Just a box for someone to monkey around with later

40points

“With the internet, you aren't dealing with a person, but a username and avatar. It is much easier to act maliciously when you don't have a real victim directly in front of you,” they said.

"Online scams also use a lot of tricks to pressure buyers; low prices, pushes to buy now!, taking advantage of someone's kindness or naivete (re: advance check fraud, money mules, etc), or advertising one product and sending another (or nothing at all, by using a fake tracking number). Getting a person to make a decision via high-pressure tactics and preventing them from reflecting and making a sound decision is key," the moderator from r/Scams explained how some scammers work.

#10

My grandfather had a huge safe in the basement.

Inside that safe was another, smaller safe.

And inside that other smaller safe was, you guessed it, an even smaller safe.

When he got sick and had to be in the hospital for awhile he started telling everybody, from the people in line at the fast food place to the nurses, how we was okay because all his stuff was in this unbreakable safe in his basement. People thought he was crazy.

Of course what was bound to happen happened and one time when he was out to the hospital someone broke into his home. When he got back maybe a week later, he saw that the first 2 safes we're opened but the guy gave up on the smallest one. Good for him because there wasn't anything in that last safe either. We had a good laugh about it for the 3 years he was still alive, trying to picture the would-be robber's face when he saw the third safe.

So I guess one place you SHOULD keep your valuables is a safe inside a safe inside another safe. Robbers are lazy.

lordpanda Report

Final score:

140points

POST

$copper-fractions avatar$

Tiny Dynamine 3 years ago

That's a cool story!

32points

#11

As a troubled teen, I robbed schools. I can say this: lock your damn windows. 99% of the time we got in with unlocked windows.

RobbStarkNaked Report

Final score:

139points

POST

ZAPanda 3 years ago

You leave windows open? with no burglar bars? bizarre.

24points

#12

My cousin lives in a bad neighborhood, so she went to a thrift store, bought an obvious-looking jewelry box and a bunch of expensive looking costume jewelry that’s actually worthless and put it in the box. She keeps this in a conspicuous place. Then she leaves a few 20s on top. This way if someone breaks in, they will grab this and run, ignoring some of her well-hidden valuables.

downwarddawg , Clem Onojeghuo Report

Final score:

139points

POST

mulk 3 years ago

sort of "thief taxes"? Same when you leave some milk and food for Santa Claus and the reindeers...

65points

"If a deal is too good to be true, it is. If you see a pair of brand new Apple AirPods advertised for $50, you are not getting an authentic product. There are many counterfeit items out there on the market, and you need to verify authenticity before hitting buy," they said that we should follow our gut instinct and listen to it if it’s warning us.

"Not only to avoid contributing to the counterfeit market, but because these knockoff products do not always go through the same safety standards of the real item; they may not be UL certified, they may use chemicals or ingredients that are not FDA approved and are unsafe for use on or in the human body, or could cause major harm to human life or property."

#13

I've seen people make false outlets for hiding valuables like cash and jewelry. Just an idea, a burglar would have to be at your home for a long time to start checking outlets.

ban_me_daddyy , La Miko Report

Final score:

131points

POST

Grant Barke 3 years ago

Mine are connected to electricity. So be vewy vewy careful.

78points

#14

I’m an electrician and was on a job installing some wall fixtures for a customer, we found $3500 in an octagon box. I told the customer about the find and he’d stashed it there when they bought the house 15yrs prior. I guess even he forgot about it being there, he did give me a handsome tip of $300 for being honest about finding it and not keeping it since he would have never known.

TheOtherBull Report

Final score:

121points

POST

Sredna 3 years ago

Cool story sis!

18points

#15

I'm going to look under your bed, I'm going to dump out any drawer I find. I'm checking your freezer. I'm looking under the bathroom cabinet. Think that incredibly smart hiding spot you saw in a spy movie will work? We watch spy movies too. It's really going to be a matter of security versus convenience for you. If it takes me more than a minute to get to something (and don't forget I'm more than willing to break s**t to get to stuff) then it's not worth my trouble. I want to be out of your house in less than 15 minutes tops.

henrideveroux , Jacalyn Beales Report

Final score:

113points

POST

Glirpy 3 years ago (edited)

Thieves aren't going to check the freezer if they want to be out of a house in less than 15 minutes. Unless they are hungry. Then they'll grab a frozen dinner to heat up in the microwave. Then they find the laptop that you stupidly left in the microwave thinking it won't get stolen in there.

8points

Something else that can give you an extra layer of security is switching your debit card for a credit card. "Credit card protections for most cards are much more forgiving than debit cards. You can generally get your money back faster if you were scammed or misled by a business, versus initiating an investigation through your bank. It is always smarter to pay by credit card (and pay off your balance monthly!)."

#16

Don't leave things out that people can see from outside your home or car. If you buy a new TV or computer break down the box it came in. Don't just leave it by your garbage bin.

Auferstehen78 , Lisa Report

Final score:

109points

POST

Kath Leen 3 years ago

if u have a box of new tv or pc, let the cats deal with them :)

52points

#17

30 Ex-Burglars Reveal Where You Should Never Hide Your Stuff And Share Other Helpful Tips I'm going to keep a small safe in the living room with a giant foam middle finger inside for when the day comes.

[deleted] , Immo Wegmann Report

Final score:

109points

POST

~hUmMuS vIbEs~ 3 years ago

I mean, if you happened to own a giant foam middle finger, you'd definitely want to keep it safe! Also, I totally want to see the reaction of a burglar when they found that >+<

44points

#18

Not a former burglar, but my house was robbed before which made my dad want to hide his work laptop the next time we went out. Little did anyone else know, he decided to hide it in the oven. We only realized this after my mom finished cooking dinner and smelled something strange. He should have learned his lesson then, but maybe 2 moths later he decided to hide a laptop in the microwave, because you can’t miss the laptop when it is the only thing in the microwave, right? Later that day my sister needed to use a minute timer to get something so she just hit the 1 minute button on the microwave without checking. Trying to hide laptops costed my dad 2 of them so maybe don’t hide them there.

crabmeat11 , Life Of Pix Report

Final score:

107points

POST

Rijkærd 3 years ago (edited)

That dad is kinda dumb on my opinion. From oven to microwave? I take my caution back. That dad is dumb af.

85points

#19

Lol my dad and 2 uncles were once looking after my house for my grandma (they were about 11, 17 and 18) when the heard someone knocking about the garage, so my dad and uncle (18 and 17) went out and found a burgular, and threatened to beat him up if he didn't leave the property. He had his ladder next to the garage to try and get in from the top (idk what he was doing that for), and as he left he asked if he could at least take his ladder with him. To this day my dad still has that ladder

KlippetyKop Report

Final score:

105points

POST

Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago

"can I take the ladder?" "no" *bonk*

54points

#20

Don't put pics on Facebook /social media of you and your family going on a week long trip from the airport

north78 , Skitterphoto Report

Final score:

104points

POST

mulk 3 years ago

ahahah, my comment in another point ;)

15points

#21

LED lighting is cheap these days. If your house is gonna be vacant for a while, consider investing in one of those smart-lighting systems where you can set different rooms to turn on and off at different points in the day. (Kitchen during dinnertime, bedrooms at night, etc.)

C0SAS , Wolf Zimmermann Report

Final score:

99points

POST

Roxy Eastland 3 years ago

You don't need a fancy system. Just a couple of timers that plug into wall sockets, with standard or desk lamps plugged in, set to go on in the evening and turn off at bed time.

67points

#22

Oh, and thanks for locking drawers. That way I know exactly where the valuables are. I can open that cheap wood drawer as quickly with a crowbar as pulling it open.

GlutenFreeApples , khloe arledge Report

Final score:

95points

POST

ZAPanda 3 years ago

book safes. burglars rob people because they have no education. they are not going to steal a book.

3points

OThinkingDungeons , Nathan Dumlao Report

#23

DON'T USE KEY RACKS OR BOWLS NEXT TO THE DOOR! The amount of stolen cars where the burglar takes one step into the house, picks up the keys to the family car and leaves immediately is just sad.

Final score:

91points

POST

Friday 3 years ago

I leave my car keys out just for that reason. If someone is brazen enough to break into my home for my car, I’d rather them take it and leave. I don’t want them to enter my bedroom to search for the keys while I’m sleeping. Cars can be replaced, that’s why we have insurance.

102points

#24

On your social media page.

No really.

Dont post photos of expensive stuff you just bought on Facebook. You might think it's cool to show it off, but to a would be theif, it just becomes a shopping list.

GoatPantsKillro , Tofros.com Report

Final score:

90points

POST

B-b-bird 3 years ago

Do not post your vacation pictures until you are back from vacation

68points

#25

For the college kids that might read this, don't keep your textbooks in your car. On the day of my finals I had about six textbooks I was gonna sell in my car. Came back to find someone broke my window and stole the textbooks. Cop told me that it's very common and unlikely they will catch the guy, so I was out ~$700, which was huge as a college student.

zepaperclip , Sharon McCutcheon Report

Final score:

88points

POST

Darko Pešić 3 years ago

Lol 700 is huge for a college student... Its huge for me too dude, and i am working for past 8 years now...

50points

#26

Pro tip: Hide your small valuables inside a used/empty fire extinguisher, no one is going to steal a fire extinguisher...

shocksalot123 , Nothing Ahead Report

Final score:

88points

POST

Monday 3 years ago

I would definitely steal a fire extinguisher

72points

#27

I read somewhere that if a thief sees a home security alarm sign 90% of them walk away. A friend of mine bought a ADT security sign off Ebay for this very reason.

Dingo9933 , SmartSign Report

Final score:

80points

POST

Shelby Jackson 3 years ago

My ex MIL's neighbor stole an ADT sign out of a neighbors yard

3points

#28

Fire safes only are safe from fires.

Asylumsix , monkeywing Report

Final score:

76points

POST

Grant Barke 3 years ago

I love the smell of freshly burnt 100 dollar bills.

22points

#29

You’d be surprised at how often people leave their cars unlocked with nice things inside. A lot of people actually leave them unlocked with the keys inside. It’s how the majority of cars are stolen.

50nd , Ricardo Esquivel Report

Final score:

72points

POST

~hUmMuS vIbEs~ 3 years ago

Some cars self lock after a while, leaving your keys in there so don't. (I know this from experience).

25points

#30

Don’t keep your spare key outside near the front door — under a pot plant, under doormat, top of door frame etc.

marty_arty , Andre William Report

Final score:

72points

POST

Libstak 3 years ago

I've never understood why people do this, it's so obvious.

50points

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#31

Closets — gold mine for jewelry.

fourier1234567890 , cottonbro Report

Final score:

25points

POST

WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago

Closets, because that's where people keep their stuff.

5points

#32

Don't set your satnav "home" as where you live. If I've stolen your car keys while you're out, I likely have your house key too, know where you live and know you're not home.

NE6427 , Luis Yanez Report

Final score:

25points

POST

Monday 3 years ago

It would be rather stupid of the thief to assume that just because the car owner isn't home that nobody else is. And if Mr. Thief rocks up at said house and another occupant is home that occupant is immediately going to realize car was stolen when the driver is clearly not the owner.

16points

Sam_the_goat , Jeremy Wong Weddings Report

#33

My cousin had her place burgled while she was away getting married. They stole all of her jewelry, her brother who died gold chain, other valuables. So it seems that someone on her social media found out she was away getting married and robbed the place.

Final score:

25points

POST

Robin Roper 3 years ago

Same with funerals. I've stayed at several people's homes during visitations, services, and burials for this very purpose.

7points

#34

We had a huge safe that takes 2-3 people to move. They broke into my house and flipped everything all over searching, but when they found the safe they left everything else and focused on taking that. I even had IPads and Rolex watches lying around in open. Point is, we kept the safe empty, would only keep a few fake pieces of jewelry in case there was ever a home invasion we could offer them something to take.

Joeycane27 , Graeme Maclean Report

Final score:

24points

POST

A B C 3 years ago

"IPads and Rolex watches lying around", as you casually do. Dang, it's wednesday, but I took my thursday-Rolex, better just chuck it on the kitchen table. 🙄

2points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#35

Keep things locked solidly. Bar locks for Windows and sliding doors, shatter resistant film on all glass.

solid door frames and solid door's. Locks on bedroom doors and solid door's.

Don't leave tool's and secure the garage door. Dont hide keys. Thick curtains on Windows drawn House insurance covering robberies Plants under windows with thorns Don't advertise guns most robberies occur while you're working.

You can't stop a determined person but most will leave for easier places. Also only dummies bring a gun and your tv can be replaced you can't be.

Source a retired burglar who is 80 year's old

Phenoix512 Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Yup 3 years ago

I completely understand, ZAP, because my job is proofreading. It can be boring to read corrections for every item, however. You aren’t normally this bad - having a rough day?

5points

#36

I had a malamute dog years ago, had another two later, but this was a particularly fluffy one. A friend had heard that it was possible to spin their fur, so I saved enough to knit several jumpers.

Anyway, a burglar took stuff from our garage and this massive box of fur too, must've been quite a surprise.

Wolfie_Rankin Report

Final score:

22points

POST

Rachknits 3 years ago

Ooooo what a shame, dog fluff can make beautiful yarn (google chiengora)

10points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#37

Inside vacuum cleaner. We hid money in it and it got stolen with everything else in the house back in Syria. Edit: “thief” was the military forces that invaded the area not someone I know or someone desperate.

Kalenshadow Report

Final score:

20points

POST

mulk 3 years ago

Sad...

3points

#38

Don't try to hide something valuable like money inside of old boxes. When I was younger, I thought, that hide money inside of old headphones box would be great idea, because no one would expect to find them there. We lived in village, and we had to burn a furnace to keep house warm, and my mother almost put that headphone box with money inside of furnace, but they've just falled out on the floor.

ZuckeN Report

Final score:

20points

POST

Sredna 3 years ago

Close call!

2points

#39

I heard a lot of people hide stuff in the air vents, is it searched usually?

Also, my mum used to hide what little valuables we had in a small space behind our washing machine, a really heavy one. Except if you knew it was there you couldn't know there was a space here, and that it was accessible.

She had to spend 10-15 minutes hiding stuff because it was really hard to access, so I guess that burglars wanting to do their thing as quickly as possible wouldn't spend time looking there.

dalaigh93 , Meritt Thomas Report

Final score:

19points

POST

kjorn 3 years ago

find a box of any sex toy and put valuable there. who would want to open the box of a used dildo?

6points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#40

We had our apartment burglarized. Guy kicked down the door, and apparently was in and out pretty quickly. I came home from work, and the cop told me, "Never leave valuables in your nightstand." Might have even said bottom drawer. Sure enough, mine were checked, i could tell because my envelopes were moved from where i placed them.

chacham2 , Rachel Claire Report

Final score:

18points

POST

Nooberton 3 years ago

The American English term is burglarized. If you think otherwise, just shut up and leave.

7points

#41

Not a burglar, but honestly I would advice this; get good insurance coverage on things you value. If they want to come in, they'll find a way. No matter how well you think you protect your house, they will find an entry. It would be your best bet to cover all expensive items with insurance and MAKE SURE to always have either a cloud copy or a removable drive copy of important files/photo's that is not right next to your computer. This way, if they steal you computer, you'll still have the files.

Cowgames579 Report

Final score:

17points

POST

WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago

No matter how excellent your insurance is, you need to have proof that you owned that golden necklace covered with diamonds that you claim. So take pictures of all things that are valuable to you for the insurance.

7points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#42

My mom always told me the best way to hide stuff is to put it in plain sight, so when she was trying to quit cigarettes I put the carton on top of a painting, right over the frame it took her 3 weeks to spot i

MarsReject Report

Final score:

17points

POST

WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago

Forgetting that a thief is not familiar in your house so everything hidden in plain sight will stick out like a sore thumb to them.

16points

#43

Don't leave your car unlocked on your driveway with a garage opener inside.

TheThatGuy1 Report

Final score:

17points

POST

Sredna 3 years ago

Wow good tip!

1point

#44

If you have a garage sale at your house make sure to not have anything of value around and be vigilant in the days after. We were broken into two days after a garage sale, after living in the house 20+ years without a single incident.

pumperthruster Report

Final score:

17points

POST

#45

The medicine cabinet or bathroom. I'll just scoop all the drugs out into a bag.

GlutenFreeApples Report

Final score:

16points

POST

My Name Is Mars 3 years ago

You shouldn't keep meds in a bathroom anyway. The moisture and heat from bathing can degrade pills.

10points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

See Also on Bored Panda

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#46

Fake rocks are a dead giveaway. Sock drawers are cliche. If you have a small safe that’s not bolted down we are taking that thing. We all have a “safe guy.” Our goal is to get in and out pretty quickly. If you hide something in a random box all the way up in your attic, it’s probably safe.

Whatever you do, please don’t leave your damn kid at home.

theWet_Bandits Report

Final score:

16points

POST

Ellie 3 years ago

Why not leave the kid home? (Serious)

7points

justnopethef**kout Report

#47

Serious question here. What about medications? I have to take quite a few. If someone stole them they wouldn't get them high, most likely cause them to OD or die quickly. I still worry about this though. I cannot go without each medication daily or it will put me in the hospital.

Final score:

16points

POST

Penelope 3 years ago

If you’re worried that you’ll be without meds if they’re stolen: Don’t worry. Pharmacies can help with maintenance doses until you can get in to your PCP and get a new script. If you’re worried about the burglars od’ing in your meds: Also don’t. I am not heartless, but you absolutely don’t need to take extra precautions because some day some random burglar with a penchant for pills might possibly break in to your home, and then might possibly find your meds and might possibly decide that trying random drugs is a good idea.

16points

#48

Not a burglar but I feel like having 2 big 80lb dogs that will growl and bark if someone who isn't me or my girlfriend come to any window or door.

M_Buske Report

Final score:

16points

POST

SDLT010 3 years ago

I wish I was a dog person so I could do this

3points

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

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Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#49

Don’t leave stuff in your car. When I was in high school, we did our fair share of carhopping.

drdoom Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Bryn 3 years ago

Good luck if you can see anything through the mess!

1point

#50

Someone will be in for a surprise if they open the safe I keep in my night stand. It’s full of my kids baby teeth.

SaltyMerms Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Kyle D 3 years ago

Where do you keep the rest of your kids?

14points

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

#51

Had my home burgled twice. Best place to hide jewelry is in the bottom hem of your curtains. Taking off a valuable ring before you shower but don't want to go all the way to your jewelry box hidey hole? Tuck them in the curtain hem. It's not a long term solution, but getting into the habit of keeping your good s**t out of plain sight will save you on the day someone breaks in. It is so easy to leave earrings/rings/bracelets laying around.

orangejuicenopulp Report

Final score:

15points

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Xottel 3 years ago (edited)

The bathrobe pockets are quite convenient

1point

See Also on Bored Panda

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#52

Your locks are almost always junk, especially those little lockboxes. If you have the tools and training, it only takes a few seconds to unlock it. That's true with padlocks as well...a good burglar can open a padlock almost as fast as if they had the key or combination. Never hide your valuables in a lazy location that is beyond obvious and simply trust that $5 lock to prevent anything.

If you don't have a heavy, bolted safe, the most logical conclusion is that your valuables are very, very close to where it takes you the least effort to get to them (jewelry is all very close together where you get dressed, money is near the main work desk, prescriptions are in the medicine cabinet, recreational drugs are close to where you sleep, etc.) Think about it...no burglar is going into the basement into your can of screws, to your bag of corn in the freezer, or in the pantry Pringles can to find valuables. A good burglar knows that he needs to get the job done quickly with as little noise and wandering as possible. The bedroom and main work area are obvious locations. If they are quick and easy for you to get to from the place you use them, they aren't in a good location.

phoenix14830 Report

Final score:

15points

POST

lara 3 years ago (edited)

We have a "gun safe." Why? We have no guns, but it was the biggest, heaviest safe we could find that did not need the walls taken down to put it in the house. It did take four guys with a huge "loader" to move it in and they almost had a heart attack when they saw that they would have to lower it eight inches into the office. And all we keep in it are documents, wills, pictures, birth certificates, deeds, business documents, etc. Everything else is kept off site. Why? Because we keep all the family records for the family. Too many have had house fires, or lost stuff moving, whatever, so now we keep everything. And they know it is safe. And yes, it is fire safe.

5points

#53

Watch the show It Takes a Thief...if you can find it. That'll give you some good ideas about this stuff.

Jasona1121 Report

Final score:

14points

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J. Normal 3 years ago

I had forgotten about that show.

2points

#54

Not a burglar, but our home has been broken into. We only had the one-bedroom at the time, but the places that the burglar looked into were: the closet (everything was thrown out), desk drawers (found a bit of cash and our passports were taken), the entry furniture (drawers), under the bed / bedside tables. At least now I know where not to hide valuables. Not that I have any.

doesitmatter83 Report

Final score:

14points

POST

Yup 3 years ago

The people who burgled our house were very disappointed there were no X-boxes etc. In spite they overturned every bookcase.

3points

#55

A safe. Also, almost all locks are bulls**t unless you had a locksmith put in security pins, but the robbers can just take the safe and figure it out later if time is an issue.

brucekeller Report

Final score:

14points

POST

Becky Samuel 3 years ago

A safe is useless unless it's bolted down. Who on earth has a safe that can just be lifted?

2points

Bojangles-Thee-Turd Report

#56

Inside one of those small lock boxes. It's great when you find one because there simple to open and if they don't have a wall safe then all of their main valuables and money are usually in it .. jackpot

Final score:

14points

POST

ZAPanda 3 years ago

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#57

My mother has a closet filled with food supplies, boxes of bags of spices and such. There's at least 3 dozen such boxes at all times in said closet. ONE OF THEM, and she replaces it regularly so the expiration date remains relevant, she opens up carefully, fills with valuables, and then carefully closes back up.

She had me try to find which one of the boxes it was. I genuinely couldn't tell from sight alone, only the slightly different heft tipped me off after 10 minutes. No burglar will ever find that stash.

Kaleopolitus Report

Final score:

14points

POST

The Dude 3 years ago

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#58

In unopened vehicles, dresser drawers, closet, under a mattress, in the cupboards over the sink. The only real safe place for valuables is in a standing or hidden safe. We look everywhere. Whenever I get my own place I'm going to have security cameras, and iron on my windows and doors and plenty of light outside my house.

ggbrown74 Report

Final score:

14points

POST

Lynn Morello 3 years ago

The more High Tech security you have around your house, the more likely that you will be viewed as a candidate for a burglary.

1point

RealBowsHaveRecurves Report

#59

I was never a burglar per se but in my younger days I had a penchant for criminal mischief. (And a total inability to weigh the consequences of my actions, but that's a different story.)

This isnt an answer to this direct question, but a pretty important word of advice:

If you really want to protect your house from people breaking and entering, all you need is a BEWARE OF DOG sign... Alarm systems arent enough, as pretty much nobody bothers arming them. A Beware of Dog sign though, even if you dont have a dog, is a clear indication that this house is not easy prey, and the trespassers will move on.

Final score:

14points

POST

Tracy Leonard 3 years ago

If you can't have a dog, in addition to the sign put a food bowl and filled water bowl in an easy to spot area. Hang a leash near the door, scatter some tennis balls around the yard as well as a used toys or two (Ask a friend who's got a large dog if you can trade their old ones for new). If you can, a dog house with an old blanket can't hurt.

6points

#60

Not a burglar but learned this from my sister who would steel stuff from our mom while cleaning, if its in a place they can find it just by cleaning the maid style burglar will find it. Under the bed or a pillow. underneath the bag in the trashcan in the worst becuase even if its discovered missing thier is possible deniability.

Also for the older not tech savy people do not hide money in the optical drive (aka where you put the CDs and DVDs) on your computer. Idk why my grandma thought that was a good hiding spot.

invisiblydisables Report

Final score:

13points

POST

Casey Burns 3 years ago

That's terrible that your sister stole from your mom.

5points

#61

Open garage is an easy one. People work in there garage all the time with the door wide open makes for an easy case. I can walk or drive by and see you have a couple dirt bikes, some nice tools on the wall and other miscellaneous goodies, chances are my former self will wait for you to leave. Some people have the audacity to even leave there garage door open overnight making it incredibly easy.

[deleted] Report

Final score:

13points

POST

Pungent Sauce 3 years ago

Few things more disheartening than working around the house/yard all day, going in for a wash up and dinner, then coming out the next AM to the garage door you left wide open. ALWAYS do a perimeter check before bedtime.

5points

#62

Obligatory not a criminal in anyway But dont keep ur valuables in the freezer

cyberelixir Report

Final score:

13points

POST

Grant Barke 3 years ago

But I like to keep my gold ingots icy cold and fresh.

5points

#63

A woman tried to take my cat from the street. She picked her up and tries to walk away but kitty went bananas on her. Bet she won't be trying that again.

tygertje Report

Final score:

12points

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Grant Barke 3 years ago

S**t, my cat don't like strangers and runs away at first sight.

3points

#64

Not a burglar or former burglar, but NEVER hide keys and lock combinations in a jar near the door or under your welcome mat.

Also, if you purchase something big, like a tv or something big, never leave the box near your home. the burglar would see it and know you have something valuable in there.

I know this sounds crazy, but mow your lawn frequently. it’ll show that you have been and had enough time to mow your lawn and that someone must be there

it’s obvious, but only announce your trips when your finished so at first nobody knows your not there.

Azzia_hey Report

Final score:

11points

POST

lara 3 years ago

NEVER announce anything. It is like giving a burglar a time sheet.

1point

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What do you think ?

POST

Mazer 3 years ago

We had a genius burglar who had a good run in our county. He picked the wealthiest neighborhoods (false sense of security), the most hit were McMansions. He would hike up onto the hills, use binoculars to see when residents left, then break in. If there was an alarm he would keep ransacking the place until the alarm company called to verify if the alarm was a false one or not. He would answer the phone using a child like voice, tell the alarm operator that “Mommy is in the bath, hold on, I will get her”, he would then finish up, pick up the phone and tell the operator “Mommy said to tell you the house is being burglarized”, then he would hang up and promptly leave. Took years to catch him. He had even purchased a home with his ill gotten gains.

8points

Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

Same around here. The gated communities have the highest rates of theft/break-entering. Minus the alarm company call part. The gates go about ten feet.... and then it's just a nice stroll down the road!

1point

oddkiddo 3 years ago

These posts says sooo much about how different societies are constructed. I live in Denmark and I don't know a single person who ever had their home broken into and burglarised. Not a single person with a safe. Or a gun. Not a single person who has been robbed in the street in Denmark. It terrifies me that political influence from abroad will change this as a result of not giving a s**t about your fellow human and letting the system get cracks big enough to fall through. Distribute wealth. Distribute safety.

6points

Chich 3 years ago

Get motion lights. Leaving a yard light on isn't a real deterrent and helps anyone to see as they wander around your yard and they may not even be noticed. However if a motion light kicks on people will look to see what made it do so. Have easy to spot realistic but fake cameras in areas that will likely make people avoiding them go past well hidden real ones.

6points

Al Christensen 3 years ago

I rented a house with motion lights. They were always coming on. I'd jump up, filled with adrenalin, and peek out the windows to see if there was a prowler. It always either the wind blowing the bushes or a stray animal. I eventually disconnected them.

1point

Yort 3 years ago

Best place to hide your valuables is your butt. No burglar will think to look there. It’s a little hard to put your laptop there, but I believe in you!

5points

Lauren Caswell 3 years ago

Whole new meaning to butt dial and booty call though 😁

3points

Cássio Bogdan 3 years ago

Why are you guys leaving ungodly amounts of money at your houses? Don't you have a bank or investments? Never heard about inflation?

5points

madbakes 3 years ago

Some don't trust banks, especially those who lived through, or are children of people who lived through the Great Depression.

5points

Scarlett 3 years ago

One easy way to avoid theft is have a small, crummy looking house in a neighborhood with bigger, far fancier houses. Never been broken into once. But I keep my valuables (basically the few pieces of real jewelry I have) in one of my old sneakers in my closet. I highly doubt a burglar’s going to want my old, dirty sneaker lol

4points

Monkey Love 3 years ago

My parent's tell a story about a guy who worked for us in the 80's. He was an ex-felon who's crew would fly to Hawaii every so often rob houses and then fly back to the mainland to get rid of the jewlery. They got caught because a guy in the crew decided to keep a ring. The thing that always stuck is they'd never go into a house with small dogs. Small dogs are loud and can hide under furniture and they can't get to them....big dogs, they broke their necks.

3points

Samara Morgan 1 year ago

Disgusting people. Deserved the worst.

0points

Craig Silberman 3 years ago

over half these are NOT places to hide, but advice on how to avoid break-ins, where not to hide, and things not to do; yet another Bored Panda headline that doesn't match the content

3points

Lav Oravaf 3 years ago

so let me get this right... now everyone knows the hiding places... and the tricks... ok, that sounds safe now...

3points

J. Normal 3 years ago

The thieves already knew them.

1point

Kira Okah 3 years ago (edited)

I'll just slide in to say that pretty much every padlock is pickable. Some are more complicated but that doesn't make them unpickable. Cheap and expensive locks, even rfid and fingerprint locks have demonstrated vulnerabilities. One can be modded to be much more pick resistant, but anyone with a basic rake can pick most padlocks in seconds.

3points

Evil Little Thing 3 years ago

Just get a bolt cutter, much faster

1point

Jacob Babashoff 3 years ago

We have a family cabin near Yosemite. Someone broke the glass on the side door and opened the door, that should have gave them a clue. Nothing was gone as there is absolutely nothing of value there. Even the cheap TV when bought was under $200, worth even less now probably. We don't keep anything of value there because, come fire season, it could all be gone.

2points

Al Christensen 3 years ago

My house had a mail slot in the door instead of a mail box. So when I was away mail piled up inside rather than in plain view. And although I lived alone, I had two vehicles — a car and a work truck — so there was always a vehicle in the driveway, suggesting someone was home.

2points

Troux 3 years ago

Two tips I remember from a cop who investigated a lot of break-ins: Avoid doors with large glass sections; If a thief can break a small pane and unlock the door himself, it's the same as leaving it unlocked. If you have a yard: In addition to the security system and 'beware of dog' signs, a major deterrent is having a LARGE doghouse in plain sight.

2points

kjorn 3 years ago

work from home. that way you never left the house

2points

Random Panda 3 years ago

What about vacations?

0points

John L 3 years ago

Doesn't anyone use a safe deposit box? I have one at my bank. I mean, if it's valuable enough you want to hide, wouldn't be almost as easy (and safer) to just drive to the bank to get it, when needed?

2points

Jenn Ryan 3 years ago

This is why I have dogs. If the chihuahua doesn't scare them off, the shepherd and the pittie should do the trick!

2points

Just saying 3 years ago

Car keys - some modern remote car locking systems can be hacked if your car keys are near enough to your car, even if your keys are in your hallway, or in a front bedroom.

1point

Beautifulnoodle 3 years ago

Totally honest no judgement questions. Why? Why are to robbing people so you can have stuff. It's replaceable, well most of it is. What you're really taking from people is their sense of safety and security. Why would you do that?

1point

Tami 3 years ago

To posses is to be possessed by fear of loss, grasshopper. *goes back to "Kung Fu" binge*

1point

Jo Choto 3 years ago

Where you hide stuff depends on what the stuff is and what kind of home you have. Your best precautions are when you are out of the house, to make sure all doors/windows are shut/locked, and consider leaving at least one light on, and a TV or radio going on some kind of chat show/anything featuring people's voices. At night, close curtains so the inside of your home is not visible.

1point

GenericPanda09 3 years ago

Get a flat wood bit and drill a couple of holes in the top of one of your doors leaving about 5mm either side of any facing sides..... you should end up with a couple of holes about an inch in diameter going straight down into the frame of door about 5-6 inches deep. Then get a couple of tubes - those test tubes they sell one-shot cocktail mixes in are perfect for this as they have a metal screwcap you can use to fish them back out with a magnet later. you can get quite a bit of emergency money and a usb stick full of important document scans like passports, insurance docs/ weed stashes, etc in them and they're not going to be found by casual burglars.

1point

GenericPanda09 3 years ago

Also if you're not at home and need to hide your passport somewhere... again, magnets are ideal... coupled with a ziplock bag a couple of small neodymium magnets make finding good, sneaky hiding places easy. The magnets are strong enough to hold a fair bit of weight, but easily retrieved in a hurry.

1point

SDLT010 3 years ago

Imagine a burglar reads this and finds out where to look for more stuff

1point

Christoph 3 years ago

From a cop: Mow your lawn. Bring in your garbage cans. Not doing so says "Probably not home"

1point

Nikki Sevven 3 years ago

Have dogs. Best security ever. No one can set foot on or near my property without my pups barking up a storm.

1point

Samara Morgan 1 year ago

They can just murder them.

0points

Nirmiti 3 years ago

A burglar might have read this.

1point

J. Normal 3 years ago

Pay attention to your neighbors and neighborhood. I read that if they are scoping an area, people who are out and wave / say hi make them move along.

1point

Glirpy 3 years ago

If your stuff is that valuable, why not rent a safe deposit box at a bank or credit union instead of going to all the trouble of hiding things in air vents and other weird places?

1point

PixieVonBehr 3 years ago

I handle insurance claims for wealthy people and here are my top tips: . Lock your damn windows . Set the alarm, even if you're just popping to the shop . Outbuildings are a massive target - invest in a loud alarm and locks that can't easily be cut with bolt cutters . Don't keep expensive bikes in your garden. Bring them indoors. . If your safe isn't bolted to the floor, it's no good . Get your jewellery revalued every couple of years to make sure you have adequate insurance cover, should the worst happen. Even in times of recession, the price of gold can still go up

1point

cybermerlin2000 3 years ago

We had travellers set up camp near us and cars started getting broken into. The thing they all had in common was that they were remote control unlocking. We bought RFID key wallets and put our car keys in them and told the neighbours. We all have them now and sure enough on 2 occasions people who we have never seen before walked our street. First one was on a tablet, then 2 days later one was in a car with a laptop. They were remotely scanning the keys, copying the codes, and then coming back later to open the cars and steak from them. They were disappointed when all the nice new cars in the street didn't seem to have keys

1point

Samara Morgan 1 year ago

Burglars shouldn't live long enough to become "former". If you're rotten enough to do something like that to others, just die already.

0points

Fectiver Undercroft 2 years ago

#25 in fact, if you have anything valuable on campus, never leave it unattended. I was an undergrad in a small department—knew every classmate well. We were issued scaled diagrams for a complex graphical problem and were told we would need to bring them to our final exam—and no photocopies, because there would be enough distortion that we might get the wrong answer. I had my diagram buried in the middle of a wad of folders and notebooks, and only three other people were in the room—all of whom I trusted at the time—when I left to use the bathroom. When I got back, none of them had seen whoever dug through my stuff and stolen my diagram. I was almost late for the exam by the time I found someone willing to let me borrow his and went find a copier that I prayed would be good enough.

0points

Rachel Tucker 3 years ago

My friends sister lived on a known road for being 'rough'. They got broken in to and they stole the new tv they recently bought. Insurance paid for a replacement and surprise surprise, they broke in again and nicked the new one. From that I realised, A. Don't put boxes from new expensive items out with the rubbish and B. Don't put them in clear view of the window.

0points

Gregg Long 3 years ago

You can also buy these boxes that have a bunch of flickering LEDs on them that simulate a TV being on. Put it in a room with the blinds drawn and have it be on from dusk till dawn if you're going to be gone. Burglar comes down the street, sees the flickering lights around the blind. Think someone is home, watching TV and moves on.

0points

Linziaj 3 years ago

So many aren't even ex burglars and not much advice.

0points

marianne eliza 3 years ago

Above all, do not use any hiding tricks that have ever been made public, either through posts like this or from movies, TV, books, etc. If you ever read or watch something and think "That's cool. I'll do that." then bad guys have seen or read it too.

0points

Briana Kessler 3 years ago

My spare house key is buried in the yard. Lol no one will find it. I never tell anyone where it is either.

0points

POST

Mazer 3 years ago

8points

Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

1point

oddkiddo 3 years ago

6points

Chich 3 years ago

6points

Al Christensen 3 years ago

1point

Yort 3 years ago

Best place to hide your valuables is your butt. No burglar will think to look there. It’s a little hard to put your laptop there, but I believe in you!

5points

Lauren Caswell 3 years ago

Whole new meaning to butt dial and booty call though 😁

3points

Cássio Bogdan 3 years ago

Why are you guys leaving ungodly amounts of money at your houses? Don't you have a bank or investments? Never heard about inflation?

5points

madbakes 3 years ago

Some don't trust banks, especially those who lived through, or are children of people who lived through the Great Depression.

5points

Scarlett 3 years ago

4points

Monkey Love 3 years ago

3points

Samara Morgan 1 year ago

Disgusting people. Deserved the worst.

0points

Craig Silberman 3 years ago

over half these are NOT places to hide, but advice on how to avoid break-ins, where not to hide, and things not to do; yet another Bored Panda headline that doesn't match the content

3points

Lav Oravaf 3 years ago

so let me get this right... now everyone knows the hiding places... and the tricks... ok, that sounds safe now...

3points

J. Normal 3 years ago

The thieves already knew them.

1point

Kira Okah 3 years ago (edited)

3points

Evil Little Thing 3 years ago

Just get a bolt cutter, much faster

1point

Jacob Babashoff 3 years ago

2points

Al Christensen 3 years ago

2points

Troux 3 years ago

2points

kjorn 3 years ago

work from home. that way you never left the house

2points

Random Panda 3 years ago

What about vacations?

0points

John L 3 years ago

2points

Jenn Ryan 3 years ago

This is why I have dogs. If the chihuahua doesn't scare them off, the shepherd and the pittie should do the trick!

2points

Just saying 3 years ago

Car keys - some modern remote car locking systems can be hacked if your car keys are near enough to your car, even if your keys are in your hallway, or in a front bedroom.

1point

Beautifulnoodle 3 years ago

1point

Tami 3 years ago

To posses is to be possessed by fear of loss, grasshopper. *goes back to "Kung Fu" binge*

1point

Jo Choto 3 years ago

1point

GenericPanda09 3 years ago

1point

GenericPanda09 3 years ago

1point

SDLT010 3 years ago

Imagine a burglar reads this and finds out where to look for more stuff

1point

Christoph 3 years ago

From a cop: Mow your lawn. Bring in your garbage cans. Not doing so says "Probably not home"

1point

Nikki Sevven 3 years ago

Have dogs. Best security ever. No one can set foot on or near my property without my pups barking up a storm.

1point

Samara Morgan 1 year ago

They can just murder them.

0points